Slipping In and Out of the Darkness
by Grissom1
Summary: My own story idea as to why Sara returned without Grissom.  Set in my own alternate universe; GSR; the characters are mine at least for the next 40 chapters or so...LOL
1. Chapter 1

**Slipping in and out of the Darkness:**

**Chapter one:**

**Where is Grissom?**

_Our choices decide our fate._

_I know that._

_I've known that ever since I followed him to Vegas._

_It didn't matter because he wasn't ready to make any choices leaving me to my own as I struggled to work beside him, while he ignored my need for him._

_I offered him everything but he took nothing from me for years._

_It hurt to watch him struggle within, not sharing his inner emotions, holding it in while lecturing me about diversions and having a life outside of the lab._

_He certainly didn't want me to make the lab my life._

_It was his and thus there was the dilemma._

_But then he did begin to share only it wasn't with me._

_I waited in the shadows hoping he would see the error of his ways._

_There was no logic in his actions unless he chose to be cruel to me._

_He had all of the power, not me as I watched him share his inner most thoughts with her rather than sharing them with just me._

_How close would he let me get before he pinned me down like one of the butterflies in his collection._

_I flutter about waiting until that moment when I feel the prick of the pin within my breast and I'm shoved into a box to be examined and studied._

_He would return then._

_Yes, he would examine every shred of evidence, keeping the bugs that have torn into my skin._

_He would come back…to me._

_For now, I have returned where I almost died, tempting fate once more._

_I don't feel like I've cheated death, only delayed it and I feel it coming each time the wind picks up and the skies darken while the rain settles over Vegas._

_This time there will be no escape._

_I know this and yet I'm not running anymore._

_I stand my ground anticipating the inevitable although I'm not sure how it will happen but I feel it._

_I know death is coming._

_I yearn to look into those deep blue eyes one more time and taste his lips but he's made his final choice._

_He came to the jungle for some unknown reason and left without telling me._

_I ran after him but I was too late and he was gone as if he never came._

_I knew what I had to do._

_I had to go back to where death almost caught me, the only place I know where Grissom just might return._

_The plane lands and no doubt it shocks the others when I show up…without him._

_I feel I will surely go insane waiting for any kind of message from him._

_I'm still not sure why he finally let me in but then again I'm not sure I was ever truly in his heart._

_I know._

_I know._

_He left the lab for me but now, I'm not sure if it was really for me…or for him._

_All I know is that he came to the jungle and then left…without me._

"Sara…you're here!" shouted Greg as he grabbed her into his arms.

She returned the embrace, clinging a little too long but she needed to feel something at the moment than impending doom.

"It's me. I heard you were shorthanded…so I'm back…for awhile."

"But…where's Grissom?" they almost asked in unison.

She had been anticipating this, preparing to put on the act of the century.

If it would get her access to the lab's resources then it would be well worth it.

"He took a teaching job until our grant comes in," she said with a smile. "I could stay but my French is…not too good and besides…I wanted to leave here on better terms…this time."

Catherine smiled. "I'm glad you're back…and yes, we need the help. Riley left."

"I know…Conrad filled me in. So…what can I do?"

Catherine chuckled. "Don't be so eager or we might just think there's something wrong between you two love birds."

Sara's smile remained plastered on her face, refusing to break or give any glimmer of truth.

"Love birds? Is that the only analogy you could come up with?" she beamed.

"None…for other ears that might be listening," Catherine chirped as she handed Sara a case. "Welcome back…and thank you."

Sara took it and smiled. "I get to work with Nick."

She turned and Nick stared at her for a long moment.

"Do I get to drive?" she teased, trying not to seem nervous but Nick knew her perks and it would be difficult to get anything past him.

"Nope. That rule doesn't change whether you're "Grissom" or "Sidle," he said with a grin.

She glanced down and finally noticed the name tag that Ecklie had handed her just moments ago.

"I guess…I'm using his name now," she said softly.

The first night was not difficult as she slowly acquainted herself with the lab and staff again.

She had hardly been alone for a single moment which was wearing thin on her nerves that were wound tight.

She repeated her story so many times, she almost believed it herself, needing to feel as though there was still a connection between them.

She needed access to the database and run his recent credit card purchases but her clearance was slow in coming.

She was sure she would be able to locate him in record time.

The quicker she was out of the lab, the better.

Already, she felt the tightness in her chest at the sight of the mutilated bodies lying on the cold metal slab in the morgue while she listened to Doc's cause of death for her Jane Doe.

"How is Grissom?" asked Doc.

"He's good."

"I really thought he would have contacted some of us," griped Doc.

"He will," she lied.

She prayed she would be able to talk with him before he said anything to the others.

Right now, she needed to focus on finding him.

As the night passed, she could already feel the uneasiness cover her like a blanket and was relieved when the shift ended.

She slipped her key into the townhouse stepping inside. Boxes lined the walls and most of the floor space.

She threw her jacket over the fetal pig jars, trying to hide them from view as she slipped off her shoes but then slipped back into them at the sight of the dust.

Her suitcases were still sitting near the door where she had left them a few days ago, ready to flee at a moment's notice.

If she unpacked, she felt she was surely giving in to the doom that seemed to loom over the house.

The house was once home to her.

It had been the only home she'd ever known and it was the hardest thing she had ever done to slip away from light into the darkness, the unknown outside Vegas.

For her, there really wasn't any choice but he seemed to think so.

The home that was once warm and bright became darkened by a shadowy figure that lurked just outside their walls.

While she tried to talk with Grissom about her concerns he grew angry, dismissing her like some child who didn't want to share her toys.

The simple fact was that she didn't want to share Grissom with Heather.

She thought that when he'd finally proposed and they had gotten married, her insecurities would be lifted but Heather's hold was much stronger than she anticipated.

With the right words, she could beckon him and he would go running to her doorstep without thought to anything or anyone else.

He insisted it was a friendship but Heather was too clever at such a game for Grissom to realize she was manipulating him at every turn.

The more Sara protested the more defensive Grissom became and so she stopped.

There were no more talks of his phone calls, his sudden disappearances or his desire to slip away at all hours not telling her where he was going.

For the others, it must have seemed like Sara had a habit of slipping away but she mastered the art from Grissom.

Her silent ultimatum had been her plea for him to leave Vegas and Heather.

When months passed and there was no word from him, she felt she had lost him.

The lines of communication disappeared.

Then out of the blue he came.

Before she could even discover his reason, he'd vanished as if it had been a figment of her imagination.

Now, she sat in the house they once called home.

Surely, he would return to Vegas.

Heather was there.

She'd waited for days for him to come home but when time ticked by, she knew that he had made a different choice, one that she was not privy to.

Unless he emailed her, she would have no idea where to find him.

Since she returned to the states she had poured out her soul in emails, begging him to contact her but there was no word.

Finally when she thought she would go out of her mind, she made a plan.

She needed access to the lab's resources in order to locate him.

Oh she thought about contacting Greg or Nick and pleading her case to them but then they would be jeopardizing their jobs and she couldn't ask them to do that.

But she could and she would if Ecklie would rehire her.

She couldn't believe how easy it was to return to the lab, Ecklie more concerned over coverage than the finer details such as why a person who suffered from delayed post traumatic syndrome would return without clearance from a professional.

She hoped he would continue to overlook the things that Grissom would have caught immediately. She needed to be able to slip in and out without the questions.

For months after the abduction, she and Grissom pretended the abduction had never happened but when the telltale signs of post traumatic syndrome could not be hid, they were faced with the dilemma of finally talking to one another.

It wasn't that she hadn't tried but she had gone too long and things looked quite bleak when a certain dark haired woman seemed to appear in the shadows from time to time forcing Sara to retreat into herself, not wanting to burden him with her inability to deal with the abduction.

The supervisor in him kicked in before the husband did, and he began to question her appearance but it was too late.

She fled not wanting anyone to see how battered she had become.

Heather's taunts had been too much.

While she bore Grissom's name in secrecy, Heather flaunted her relationship with Grissom.

She knew if she did not leave, she would surely self destruct and Grissom would be there to see it.

She needed to heal on her terms or she would surely implode.

It was the hardest decision she had ever made, leaving the only home as well as the only man she had ever loved.

He became angry, accusing her of shutting him out but the truth was he felt she'd been in control far too long.

He'd given in and let her into his life. He had shared his home with her, his bed and his privacy.

He'd done what she wanted and yet she fled, leaving him to answer too many questions from prying workers.

He remained the devoted husband, calling her whenever he could while throwing himself into his work to avoid the loneliness he felt.

They seemed to be spiraling toward reconciliation until Warrick died.

Things spiraled out of control.

He was burning out and no matter how hard she tried to convince him, he became embittered, lashing out at every turn.

She was finally getting better, accepting an offer to work with a research team. Things were settling down but still she wanted and needed Grissom. The problem was that he remained in the very place she couldn't remain.

She wanted to be with him but she could not be a part of the lab anymore.

She didn't know how to separate Grissom from the lab.

The two were inseparable and yet she could see firsthand how Grissom was burning out as well. The telltale signs were there but he ignored them, demanding that she return.

They were married and couples needed to live together.

Warrick's death was hard on each of them and Grissom folded within himself, his anger noticeable when he spoke with her.

He didn't say it but in a way she felt he blamed her for some reason.

She checked her cell phone and still there were no messages. Of course he did not even have her new number but she hoped that once he had calmed down he would have tried to reach her.

She surveyed the townhouse and determined she couldn't live in filth even if it was only temporary and began to clean.

After several hours, she slept on the couch, not able to sleep in the bed they'd once shared.

The knock on the door startled her awake, rushing to it but then frowned when she found the cable guy.

Within an hour she had service again, needing access to the internet.

She was sure he was still checking his private email at least.

As soon as she was able to get the man out of the house, she sat down, cracking open the laptop and checked her email.

She tried not to let it hinder her mission but she was growing weary of telling herself things would be okay.

They were far from okay.

The only thing she could confirm was that Grissom had stayed in a hotel for a day in Costa Rica and then took a cab to the airport.

She had just missed him by a few hours, having difficulty getting a way out of the jungle on such short notice. Grissom had managed to use the same guide who dropped him off near the camp site.

She wasn't as fortunate, having to beg and plead with the locals. She used the last bit of cash to bribe a guide to get her there immediately.

She refused to give up, rushing to the airport and trying unsuccessfully to find out which flight he might have taken.

Grissom was gone.

She remained at the airport, booking the next flight back to the states.

She had checked into the same room he had stayed needing to feel some connection to him.

It was then she began sending emails.

_Gil,_

_I tried to reach you before you left. I know what you think you saw but it isn't true. You've got to believe me when I say that I would never sleep with anyone else. I couldn't. I came back and saw what Darren had done. He wanted you to believe that we've been sharing a tent but that isn't true. I've never let anyone else touch me. Please contact me. I tried calling the lab but I was told that you were no longer working there. Is that what you were going to tell me? Honey, please contact me. I've left the research team and am going back to Vegas. _

_I hope that you are there when I get there. If not, please let me know where you are and I will come to you. I don't know what else to say except I love you. I need you. I'm staying at the same hotel you did…same room…same bed…I needed to be close to you._

_Please respond immediately._

_Love,_

_Sara._

She was upset when a day passed and there was no response. She returned to Vegas and sent another email.

She shot off an email instantly letting him know what she had done.

_Gil,_

_I've been waiting here at the townhouse for you but there's no word. I know you've not had contact with the others. I need to hear from you. I know you're hurting. Please baby, email me…call me…come to me. If you don't want to return here, just tell me your location and I'll come immediately. _

_For now, I wait…here…in the townhouse. Ecklie agreed to hire me as a temp until a permanent replacement could be found. There are not many knocking down the door for a graveyard shift so I am with…the unit…the team again._

_Everyone ask about you and I lie. I told them you were teaching…in France. I didn't know what to tell them but I figured if you were out of the country they would be less inclined to try to contact you. I chose France because you spoke so fondly about your travels there._

_I miss you. I love you. I don't know what else to say. I've tried repeatedly to explain what happened but you've chosen to believe someone else…over me…your wife._

_I told the others we were married. My new lab I.D. reflects your name. It felt strange giving it to them…it being a secret for so long._

_I don't know what else to do but I am here. I'm here waiting for you… My new cell number is attached._

_All my love,_

_Sara._

She spent the next hour at the market getting food. She knew she would have no choice but to go through the motions as if she were going to stay there. She found herself checking her email every hour until she leaned back with the laptop on her chest and slept from exhaustion.

The next night led into the next day and then another night and another shift followed by sleepless days of waiting for a response.

Each day she kept to the same routine, sending him an email. Sometimes she sent more than one, pouring out her soul, pleading for some kind of word from him.

_Gil,_

_The shifts are hard. Nick and Greg have been great as well as Catherine. She is struggling so hard to make you proud. She doesn't say it but I know she misses Warrick more than the rest of us if that were possible. I'm struggling with being here already. The first time I walked onto a crime scene I thought I would have a panic attack. Nick didn't notice but his kidding helped me ease myself back into collecting evidence from the dead._

_I don't know how much of this I can endure. I close my eyes and I see their faces. I miss you every single time I walk through the halls. I expect to hear you call out my name just as I expect to round the corner and see Warrick._

_I don't know how to convince you to trust me when I say I could never let myself be with another man. I'm yours. I've been yours ever since that day in the lecture hall. I can't bring myself to sleep alone in our bed. I lie awake much too often, waiting for the phone to ring or the receipt of an email…something to let me know where you are._

_You came to Costa Rica…I'll come to you. Just tell me where you are and I'll hop on the first plane._

_I miss you. I love you. Please talk with me._

_Love,_

_Sara_

Days passed and she was finally given full clearance and access to the lab. She immediately ran his credit card transactions and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that he'd been in Washington followed by New York.

His recent activity was only a few days old and it appeared he was now in New Hampshire residing at a place called Spalding Inn. She quickly located the phone number, waiting for the receptionist to confirm he was still there.

Her heart thudded out of control when she was told he was already gone, his whereabouts unknown once more.

Still, at least she knew where he had been.

She would just have to keep a close tab on his whereabouts and the moment he checked into another place she could jump on a plane and run to him.

If he wouldn't come to her then she would go to him, throwing herself at his feet.

With full clearance came a barrage of cases. She plastered a smile on her face as she went out into the field, facing dead body after dead body. She kept up the charade until she was back at the townhouse, gasping through bouts of tears. Already she was having difficulty sleeping, food was almost nonexistent and she knew it would be just a matter of time before she would not be able to handle the job. She needed to hang on long enough to locate Grissom.

The next thing on her list was to get back what belonged to them.

She'd call every boarding facility in town and yet she had not been able to locate Bruno.

She was desperate to find the dog, not sure what Grissom did with Bruno but by scanning his boarding passes he was not traveling with a dog which meant Bruno was somewhere in Vegas.

But where?

She picked up her things from her locker and headed out to her vehicle when she was stopped by Brass.

"Hey kiddo, how about dinner?"

Sara smiled. "You buying?"

"My…you've already run through your large stack of money you saved from working in this place?" he teased.

"I'll splurge for dessert," she offered.

"That's a deal."

She chuckled when they drove up to Frank's.

"Big spender," she laughed.

"Let's do it for old time sake," he announced.

Sara was surprised she actually had an appetite.

They split a piece of chocolate cake.

"It's good to see you back…but I'm a little concerned…that you're here and…he's not," whispered Brass.

Sara licked her lips. "He was tired…of this place. Warrick's death took a lot out of him. He was burning out and I…couldn't help him. It had to be his choice. How could I force him to come back here…after doing that? We both know how his sabbatical at Williams helped him clear his mind."

Brass smiled. "The two of you have come a long way. I was hoping that was the reason…but you can't help the detective in me. I was a little concerned."

"Don't be. Besides…he came to me….he took the risk…and…" she stopped in midsentence remembering his speech to Lurie that almost catapulted her into darkness.

"You know me. I just thought that after you…found out about Heather….then you might not be so forgiving."

_Keep it together, Sara…_

_Play cards the way Warrick taught you…_

"Like you said, we've come a long way," she said taking a sip of her coffee.

"Still, if I moved in with an ex dominatrix for a few months while still married I think my ex would have handed me my balls on one of Lady Heather's platters."

Sara swallowed, feeling the bile rise immediately.

She took another sip of coffee.

"I guess you'll be getting Bruno back….he said he left Bruno there until you two could decide what to do."

"I'm almost ready to bring him home," she breathed.

The moment Brass dropped her off by her car she sped to Heather's.

Note from Author:

I was torn as to which story to release since I have been working on two simultaneously but I felt this was the closest to being finished so here it is. It will run about 40 or more chapters. If I finish the other one I may run that simultaneously...I'm just not sure...the other one is out there...way out there. LOL

Take care!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

**Shadows**

She boldly went to Heather's house knocking until the door opened.

Heather stared at her for a moment. "Sara…I didn't know you were back in the states."

"I am…" Bruno's head managed to get around Heather and he jumped up at Sara.

"Bruno, down," ordered Heather.

The dog hung his head as his tail slipped between his legs.

He looked sadly at his old mistress.

"I've come for Bruno," announced Sara.

Bruno's ears perked at the sound of his name.

"Grissom left him in my care…until he returned."

"Gil left him in order to come to me…now I'm here to get Bruno."

"Where is…Grissom?"

"He'll be home soon," Sara lied as she called Bruno.

"Thank you for taking care of him. If there is a charge then…"

"No…Sara…"

Sara put a leash around the dog, leading him toward her vehicle. "Well then, thank you…for Gil."

She fled with the dog fearing there would be a protest but there was none.

She opened the passenger side of her rental, letting Bruno slip inside.

She laughed when the huge dog licked her repeatedly while she drove to the townhouse.

The lack of email was easier to take as she sat there with Bruno's head in her lap.

She sat in front of the laptop, not sure what to say.

Her brain and heart were on overload, not sure how to handle the information she had obtained.

It felt like a jagged blade had been twisted in her gut at the revelation by Brass.

She forced herself not to jump to conclusions but it was difficult.

_Don't go there, Sara…_

_That's exactly what Grissom did…_

_He thought the worse…_

_He took another person's word without even confronting you…_

She shot off an email.

_Gil,_

_We never had time to talk about Bruno but I figured you had left him some place safe….with Heather. I brought him home today and he seems excited to be here although he searches for you. I tell him you're coming home…soon. I miss you. I love you… _

_All my love,_

_Sara._

She wasn't prepared for Heather to show up on her door step.

She took a deep breath and then opened the door.

"You left before I could give you Bruno's things," she said.

Sara looked down at the bag she held.

Sara quickly took it from her hand.

"There's more," Heather announced.

Within minutes the items from her vehicle were placed inside the townhouse.

"Again…thank you," said Sara, not sure why Heather appeared to be examining the surroundings.

"There are…a lot of boxes," remarked Heather.

"Things from… Grissom's office…at the lab."

Heather smiled. "I guess you're not sure whether they should be unpacked."

Sara returned the smile. "No…I'm not."

Heather nodded. "I was surprised when…you came for Bruno. Grissom wasn't sure…whether he would be coming back for Bruno…or you would. He said he would let me know."

"I told him I would handle it."

Heather stepped into the townhouse without invitation.

She glanced around the house before turning directly to Sara.

"You don't plan to stay," assessed Heather.

"Not permanently. We're waiting on a grant…then we're going to return to Costa Rica."

Heather feigned a smile, not liking Sara's use of the word, "we."

"I didn't think your research grant had ended so soon," she said trying to act as though Sara's statement had not bothered her.

Sara stood her ground. "Neither did Gil."

"I was surprised when Grissom suddenly decided to leave...here."

"As you can see he had no intentions of returning," stated Sara.

Heather stepped closer. "He was going to return. I know it."

Sara swallowed. "It was his choice."

"Was it?"

Sara bristled. "I didn't force him to leave…he came willingly."

"He went because of the video…he felt you needed…something…closure perhaps."

_The video was sent?_

_Darren sent it…_

_It was supposed to be sent..._

Sara's stomach knotted. "Heather, I'm not going to discuss my private life with you."

"Grissom did…always as a matter of fact," she said smugly.

She knew Heather was only trying to rattle her but there was no need.

She was already rattled.

Sara leaned against the door for support. "Our…marriage is private."

"Then I guess you didn't sign the papers."

She walked past Sara but stopped when she was just inches from her.

"Where is Grissom?"

"He's teaching…in France."

"Where...in France?"

"If he wanted you to know then he would have contacted you," retorted Sara.

"I find it strange that the one person who was adamant about leaving Vegas is now back, working in the very lab that was swallowing her up a year ago."

_She already knows I'm back at the lab..._

_Grissom confided in her about me…_

_About us…_

_What else does she know?_

"I wanted to leave this time on better terms…help out the lab so Grissom doesn't feel compelled to return. He needs the break from the lab."

Her words rang true.

Grissom had talked endlessly about his slow burn out of the lab but he also lamented how he didn't want to see his life's work crumble before his very eyes.

It was quite a dilemma for him.

He was through with death, especially after the loss of Warrick.

"I'll talk with Grissom," replied Heather as she turned and left.

Sara made her way to the couch, unsure of the wobbly legs that threatened to dump her into the floor.

"_Then I guess you didn't sign the papers."_

_What papers?_

A low agonizing gasp came from her lips.

_Divorce papers…_

_Was he there to give me divorce papers…_

"_He felt you needed closure."_

_He wanted closure…_

_He wanted a divorce…_

She banged out another email to Grissom.

_Gil,_

_Why did you come to Costa Rica? Did you come for us…or did you come to say goodbye?_

_Please call me. Please email me. I need to hear from you. _

_Sara_

She lay with Bruno, not able to move after the conversation.

There had been days like this in Costa Rica when she ached for Grissom.

The only thing that kept her going was the research.

From the moment she had met Darren there was something familiar about him.

He had arrived on the expedition site a few days later than the rest taking the place of another biologist who had backed out at the last minute.

His peppered hair and blue eyes reminded her of Grissom and it was painful at times to look at him without yearning for home.

He was gentle and kind, offering her a hand while in the field.

He was quiet and listened as she slowly opened up a little to admit a few details about her past.

The first time his hand landed on her shoulder she stepped back while smiling but over time she grew accustomed to his touch.

He often nudged her when they sat side by side, telling jokes round the camp fire.

His knee rubbed against hers a few times but it was done inconspicuously.

Over time, she never noticed his intentional touches.

They were meaningless to her but others noticed.

To her, Darren was a friend, a co-worker.

He brought things to her tent now and then for her to watch or listen.

His radio appeared on her nightstand followed by other small things.

She treated him like one of the others while he continued to outwardly display something more to the others.

She was oblivious to his actions, still mourning over the loss of Warrick as well as her marriage.

Darren had loaned Sara his video cam in order to make the video.

He'd prompted her over and over to do it so that it would be a means of therapy.

Say what you wanted to say but never send it.

It was like writing a "Dear Grissom" letter and never mailing it.

It felt good to say the things she said but it was also a reminder to her that no matter how far she traveled, Grissom would always be with her.

She had intended to call him on her next visit into town.

She'd made an appointment for continuation of her birth control shot and decided it would be the perfect time to contact him to see if he was as miserable as she was.

Things didn't turn out the way she planned.

Each day it was difficult to get out of bed and function.

There were days when she couldn't and she was clearly jeopardizing her grant.

It wasn't until Grissom appeared that things became distorted.

_She felt him before she saw him, turning slowly to see Grissom standing there looking fairly worn out and haggard._

_It was almost too much to hope for as she stared at him._

_As if in slow motion, he made his way into her arms._

_The kiss was awkward, interrupted by Sara's need to know why he finally chose to come after two months of waiting._

_She wondered if something had happened at the lab._

_There was little contact with the outside world._

"_You came," she whispered. _

_She glanced toward Darren as he stepped out of her tent._

_Grissom caught the exchange. "Is there something wrong?"_

"_No…Gil, I have to get this…to Ben. He needs this," stated Sara as she held up the camera._

"_I'll come with you," he offered. _

"_No…you rest. You're exhausted. We can talk…soon. I promise."_

_Grissom sat down in a chair, grateful to get off his feet._

_She had no idea why she lied in order to get away but she needed a moment to collect herself. She had not thought he would come. _

_She swallowed, afraid to face him at the moment unsure what brought him to come all of this way, knowing that she could not bear to say goodbye again._

_Grissom watched as Sara slipped away through the jungle._

"_I guess she didn't expect you here," stated Darren. "This is awkward for her…for me…I guess for you as well."_

_Grissom's eyes shot up recognizing the man who'd come out of the tent on the other side of the camp._

"_She probably needs a moment…to try to tell you…about us."_

_Grissom gulped. "You are?"_

"_We've been…companions…for over a month. We live in that tent over there."_

_Grissom was on his feet in a second, hurrying to the tent, not sure if Sara had actually circled around to get to it._

_He stepped inside recognizing a few items. He gulped when he noticed the pair of men's boots sitting off to the side. There was also a pack of cigarettes that clearly did not belong to Sara as well as a man's shirt tossed over a chair. There was something shiny sticking out from under the mattress and he pulled it out, displaying the multi colored condoms that had been tucked away in case of an emergency._

_He swallowed not able to believe what he was seeing._

"_We didn't intend for this to happen…but…we've been happy."_

_Grissom glanced around the camp. "We're married," glared Grissom._

"_I know. She's been trying to get up the nerve to…do something about that. She thought she would send the video first."_

_A man appeared in the flap of the tent._

"_Oh sorry. I thought you and Sara was turning in for the night," stated Ben._

"_She's getting some air," said Darren._

_Ben glanced briefly at Grissom and then left._

_It suddenly made perfect sense to him the way she kept him at arm's length when he tried to kiss her._

_By the time she made it back to her tent, he was gone._

_She frantically tried to run after him but it was as if he had been a figment of her imagination._

"_Beth…Did Grissom say where he was going?" she asked frantically._

"_Grissom? Who is Grissom?"_

_Sara stepped back. "Gil Grissom, he was here earlier. He came and I…I had to take the camera to Ben."_

_Beth glanced down at the camera in Sara's possession._

_Sara thrust it at her. "I didn't make it…I left Grissom here…I don't understand…why…"_

_Her eyes shot to a figure standing at the entrance of her tent._

_She scrambled across the camp._

"_Darren…where is Grissom?"_

"_He left."_

"_Why? I don't understand…why…" she stopped in midsentence taking in the sight of the tent._

_Her eyes shot accusingly to Darren._

_He smiled. "I did it for you, Sara. Now, he's out of your life for good."_

"_You led him to believe we…were together?"_

_Darren smiled. "Now, it's over…finally. He's gone…for good."_

Bruno's whine brought her back to the present.

"He left without hearing my side," she wept. "I don't know how to find him."

She stared at the computer screen.

She had hoped he would have responded immediately but he didn't.

There was not a single message to follow and it was heartbreaking to Sara.

Sara groaned when she spotted Heather sitting in Jim's office that evening.

Their eyes followed her as she continued on her destination trying to remain calm while inwardly her stomach was in knots.

She felt that any moment she would be fingered out, a fraud masquerading as a C.S.I.

She just needed enough time to locate Grissom but as she felt their eyes following her every move, she knew that her house of lies were about to crumble.

_Heather will keep digging until she finds out…_

_The others will wonder why I lied…_

_There's a pain in my sawdust…_

Note from author:

That rhyme still gives me chills…stupid lines and all…so anybody know where Grissom is? Don't worry this story does not drag so we will know in a chapter or two and then it gets really exciting but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Take care!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

An hour later Brass appeared in front of her desk, slipping into the chair in front of it.

"I noticed Heather in your office earlier," she said.

"She's been trying to reach Grissom."

"So have I…but then it's to be expected...time change," she added.

"She has this wild theory that something happened to Grissom."

Sara's eyes widened, "Something's happened?"

"She says…Grissom was going to…discuss something with you…something very personal."

"Jim, we had a lot of issues. They were resolved. We're fine."

"I know. I know…but can you give me the number where I can reach him so I can get this dominatrix off my back?"

Sara licked her lips. "No."

Brass looked a bit unsettled. "Why not?"

"She's not going to worm her way back into our…"

Brass held up his hands. "I won't give it to her…I promise."

"I'll call him tonight," agreed Sara.

Brass shuffled his feet. "Okay…you have him call me…okay?"

"Sure," she lied.

The walls felt as if they were closing in as she watched Brass disappear into another office.

She scrambled out of her seat, rushing to the back door.

Greg and Nick looked at one another.

"Wonder what that was all about?" whispered Nick.

"If Heather is involved…then it can't be good," muttered Greg.

"You think she knows…that Grissom…was living with Heather for awhile?" asked Nick.

"I hope not for Grissom's sake," said Catherine as she entered the room.

"Sara is the type that wouldn't tolerate a cheater," said Catherine.

"Grissom…didn't cheat," said Nick.

"What do you call moving in with your…dominatrix?" asked Greg.

Langston head bobbed.

"You haven't met Lady Heather," stated Nick.

"Is she…really a dominatrix?" Langston asked.

"Oh yes…well retired one," admitted Catherine.

Greg slipped out of the room and stepped outside locating Sara as she leaned against the brick building.

"You…kind of left in a hurry," he said softly.

"I needed some air…I don't know why I let her get to me," sighed Sara.

"You shouldn't. We saw how much Grissom cared for you….but he took Warrick's death harder than all of us. Each of us wonder what would have happened if we had stayed with Warrick that morning. I think he feels responsible. He was too…wrapped up in his own problems when Warrick was going after Gedda."

"Grissom's problems…were my problems…our problems. I haven't made his life easy…I've complicated it…distorted it."

She folded her arms as if the sheer gesture would hold everything inside.

"Sara…is everything okay?"

She shook her head. "I know…he moved in with Heather."

It wasn't a surprise to Greg that she'd discovered it.

"But…he left Vegas…to go to Costa Rica."

"Yes…he did," she said pushing herself off from the brick wall.

She ran his credit cards one more time just before shift ended.

It was as if a miracle had just been handed to her.

His card had just been used at Mt. Washington resort in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire.

She grabbed her things and rushed out the door, already compiling a list of things to do in order to get there before he disappeared again.

She was stopped by Brass just as she made it to the back door.

"Hey…don't forget," he reminded.

Sara glanced down the hall and saw Heather speaking with Catherine.

"I will…in fact, I may be joining him in a day or so."

Brass felt a bit unsettled at her declaration.

"That's great…so you're going to just leave after working only a few days…"

"No..no…I'll be back."

She hurried out the door without another word.

A million things were racing through her brain as she sped home, hoping to catch the first flight to New Hampshire.

She rushed inside, throwing her things onto the couch. Bruno met her at the door.

"I have to go away for awhile but I promise we'll back soon," she soothed.

She opened her laptop, trying to book a flight but realized the first available flight would be in Portland Maine airport.

She would then have to get a rental and drive over to New Hampshire.

She booked it and felt a little of the tension ease.

It was still several hours before the flight was scheduled to leave.

It would give her enough time to pack and then get Bruno to a sitter.

She placed the suitcase on the couch and opened it.

Her doorbell rang and she rushed, opening it without thought.

"Hello, Sara," smiled Darren.

Sara turned pale. "What…are you doing here?"

"I see you're going somewhere," he said with a smile.

"I'm going to fix the mess you created," she snarled.

"I'm sorry I can't let you do that. He thinks we're a couple. I can't have him finding out the truth until it's over."

"Over?"

"There's a pain in my sawdust," Darren began to sing.

Sara's face paled as she backed away.

"That's right Sara. You never even suspected…Natalie was a good foster sister…even if she did kill her sister…as well as a few other people…but they were bad people who needed to be punished."

"I don't understand. I thought we were friends."

"Ah yes, we were good friends. Sara, didn't foster care teach you anything about trust? You've become too trusting. You never should have confided in me…but then I'd plan this for quite some time. I didn't anticipate you would cooperate so willingly…it helped my plans tremendously. You're sudden departure from Costa Rica was a bit surprising. I mean I had no idea how I was going to convince you to return to Vegas and here you are…it's like a miracle of sorts."

"Darren, Natalie needed help. She killed people…innocent people…"

"Natalie needed help but Grissom made sure she didn't get it. He killed her!"

"Grissom didn't…"

"Haven't you heard? Natalie hanged herself….shortly after your husband Gil Grissom testified that she needed to be punished…so they took her out of the psychiatric hospital and put her in prison."

"Griss….didn't know she was suicidal."

"Yes, he did. He found the last miniature she made…her own death depicted and yet he didn't tell anyone…until after she was transferred but it was too late. She was already dead. He killed her….so I'm going to finish what she started."

Sara shook her head. "Darren…don't do this."

Darren pulled out a gun. "Let's get your things…remember you're going on a trip."

He motioned for Sara to pack a suitcase.

She threw odds and ends into it, not sure if anyone would notice.

Darren motioned for her to hurry.

Sara glanced down at the laptop screen and noticed an email from Grissom.

She swallowed. Darren looked at the screen.

"Go ahead…open it. I won't deny you one last email from him."

She hesitated and then opened it.

_Sara,_

_I hope that by sending this you will leave me alone. I risked everything…for you and you ruined my life. Warrick would be alive today if I had been able to focus on what was happening within the lab but I was too damn busy trying to convince you to come back to me. You've played me for the last time. I am through with trying to deal with your problems. It is too hard and it is slowly sucking the life right out of me. _

_Because of you, I no longer enjoy my job…my career…my life. I'd rather leave it…resign than to see my life's work go down the toilet because I let you affect me the way you do. I guess I wanted to help you given your childhood. You and I were so isolated as children…my mother's deafness and your father's abuse. _

_I let you into my life. I even let you know that you were the first person I'd ever loved but that didn't stop you from ripping my heart out. You ran whenever you felt the need, not looking back at the devastation you caused. You are a selfish bitch, too wrapped up in yourself to consider my needs._

_I don't know how I would have gotten through Warrick's death if it had not been for Heather. She loved me when you were half way around the world. Despite the hell you put me through I needed to know that you were okay and the only way I would know this was to come to Costa Rica. The evidence was clear and convincing._

_I'll have the divorce papers sent to the townhouse and once you receive them, do the decent thing and sign them. Take back your last name and leave mine alone. You never deserved it. Please move out, taking anything you want because I'll never live there again. It's been tainted by you. If you really care about Bruno then take him. If you're only going to leave him some place then return him to Heather._

_I am finally free of you. Please do not try to contact me again. I don't want to hate you but then again…I think I do._

_Grissom_

Darren glanced over Sara's shoulder.

"Wow…that was really harsh," he announced.

Sara sat there frozen in front of the laptop.

"Sara…it's time to go," he said.

"Where?" she whispered.

"Back to the desert of course…back to where you should have died."

She nodded, getting up and taking her suitcase into her hand.

It was scarcely packed but it didn't matter.

She wouldn't be needing anything.

She started to log off once more but then stopped. "Could I respond?"

He huffed. "Why?"

"To…tell…him…goodbye."

"After what he said to you?" he gasped.

Words failed her as she wept.

He sighed in irritation. "Alright."

She wiped her eyes trying to focus on the keys as she replied.

_Gil,_

_I never meant to complicate your life. Warrick's death was not your fault. It was mine. We both know that and I am sorry. Know that I loved you and never wanted any of this to happen. Please have Heather to come and get Bruno. He will be in the back yard. You can have everything back….as if I never…left the desert. _

_I'm sorry. _

_Sara_

"Nice try, Sara. Do you think I'm stupid?" He glared at her as he mocked her words. "As if I never left the desert….obviously you're trying to leave him a cryptic message…but you know what go ahead…it won't matter. He's across the country and won't even open it. He'll delete it. Don't worry about Bruno. I'll make sure Heather gets him…just like she got your husband."

He snapped the handcuffs on her but she didn't flinch.

As they stepped outside, she glanced back one more time as if trying to recapture a happier moment.

"This is the only place you've known as home," he whispered in her ear. "How does it feel Sara to be leaving it again…wait…you did leave it again…and for what? To chase bugs in the jungle."

He helped her get into the passenger seat.

He squatted at the passenger door, leaning in.

To an onlooker it would have appeared to be an intimate moment but Sara choked as she inhaled the chloroform that was held over her mouth.

To his surprise she did not struggle, letting her body go limp without a fight.

There was no fight in her.

She was going willingly.

An hour later, she began to rouse from the induced sleep.

"Do you want to know what I have planned for you?" he asked.

She shook her head, trying to shake off the after effects of the drug.

"Come on, Sara. You fought so gallantly last time. You kept Natalie on her toes."

The car came to a screeching halt.

The sky was dark, threatening clouds overhead.

Sara swallowed as she saw the hole where the car used to be.

"I have your coffin ready," he said.

Her head jerked around.

"I wanted it to be a little different. Besides, the bugs won't get to you as easily. I know it will probably disappoint Grissom but then again…he probably won't even bother to come back. Death is so much easier than a divorce."

He stopped the car and walked around to the passenger door pulling her out.

"I fixed it so there is enough air for a couple of days. Oh, don't get hopeful. I don't expect them to rescue you this time. I just wanted you to linger…have time to think about…your life."

He unlocked the handcuffs as Sara stared down at the box.

"Get inside Sara," he ordered.

If she got inside, she knew it would be a slow agonizing death.

"No."

"Get inside," he threatened.

She broke off running hoping that he would shoot her.

She cried out when the bullet shattered her knee.

She screamed in pain as Darren slowly walked to her. "Sara…did you think I would just kill you quickly. Where would be the fun?"

He grabbed her arm and dragged her back to the gravesite, tossing her into the coffin.

She hit her head on the edge of the wooden box, dulling her senses.

She woke to total darkness.

As a child she had been afraid of the dark and now she had been thrust into it.

She shifted and pain shot through her leg.

She reached down and felt that it had been bandaged.

_He wants me to linger…_

_Enough oxygen for days…_

_If I exert myself I could use up most of it…_

_If I conserve they might find me…_

She stifled a sob.

She had already lost the most important thing in her life, Grissom's love.

He had come for his own closure, a divorce.

She clawed at the top of the wooden box, ignoring the splinters that bore into her fingers or the ripping of her nails.

She kicked and screamed and cried for hours, calling out for Grissom.

The air grew thin as she continued, not wishing to linger much longer.

Finally, silence followed the darkness.

The coffin was still.

Note from author:

What a way to end the night...sorry about that. I'm glad to see my friends back for another story. I've greatly missed you. Let me know what you think of this turn of events. Okay, do I need to say it? There were no deaths...uhm...at least not in the first fifteen chapters of this story...and yes, you get to find out what happened to Grissom. LOL

Take care!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

Heather sat at the end of street watching as Sara's car door was shut and then they drove away.

She cursed under her breath at the sight of Bruno chasing after the car, having gotten out of the back yard.

The dog tried to follow for several blocks but then the car took off on the expressway and he was unable to catch up.

Heather pulled up and yelled for the dog.

He jumped in immediately as she slapped at the dog causing him to whine.

"You stupid dog! If Gil wasn't so damn attached to you, I'd get rid of you for good!"

Bruno hunkered down in fear.

"That bitch is going to pay. Gil would never break off contact with me unless she's poisoned his head once more with her pitiful woes."

She glanced at her watch as she contemplated her next move.

She veered into a coffee shop, leaving the dog to sit in the hot car while she sipped a cup of tea.

Her eyes smiled as she glanced at her watch.

A man approached. "You act like you have somewhere to go."

She smiled seductively. "I have a few minutes."

A woman stepped into the shop. "Who is the insensitive bitch who left the dog in the car?" yelled the young woman.

Heather pulled out her keys and lowered the windows on the car.

The young woman glared at her but grabbed a cup of water and took it out to the dog.

Heather rolled her eyes. "It's not mine…if it was it would chew her arm off."

The man grinned as he caught sight of the low cut blouse that was quite revealing.

His hand settled on her thigh.

She leaned forward and squeezed his testicles bringing tears to his eyes.

"I didn't give you permission to touch. You didn't say please," she purred.

"What…kind…of bitch are you?" stuttered the man.

"The kind that has you by the balls…and I like to break balls," she said kissing him on the cheek.

She released him and he stumbled back into his chair, gasping for air.

She clucked her tongue at him. "I like your eyes…blue…as well as…the hair."

The man struggled to get out of his seat, holding his groin but she stopped him, handing him a card.

"Go there and I'll take very good care of you," she smiled.

"No thanks," he muttered.

"A little pain for a lot of pleasure," she offered.

He grabbed the card and fled while she laughed.

Heather sipped her tea and then motioned for another one.

She still had some time before she needed to leave.

There were things she needed to do.

Besides, she needed to be convincing and at the moment she just wanted to gloat.

She glanced at her watch as she sighed out loud and then headed to the lab.

Brass muttered under his breath when he caught sight of Heather.

He found it odd that Bruno was also with her.

"Captain Brass, I demand to see you," she ordered.

"Ms. Kessler, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"Grissom is not teaching in France. I have proof."

Brass sighed. "Heather, does it matter?"

"It matters. Gil doesn't ignore me," she huffed.

Brass cursed under his breath, having to agree with the witch.

_If Gil grew any balls, he'd see how she manipulates him…_

Brass took Heather by the arm and led her into his office shutting the door.

"Sara was going to call him."

"Sara just left the townhouse with some stranger. Bruno was chasing after the car. Captain…something is wrong…very wrong. If you don't do something…"

"I'll call her."

Brass called Sara's cell but there was no answer.

"Jim," Heather pleaded. "Grissom is missing and now…Sara is gone."

"Sara is not gone. She's just not answering her phone."

"Will you listen to me?" Heather thrust some papers into his hand.

Brass opened them.

There were confirmations that Grissom had never gone to France much less was teaching there. He glared at her when he saw a copy of the divorce papers.

"Grissom received a video from Sara a few months ago…it was right before he moved in with me. He finally decided to go to Costa Rica…to get Sara's signature…on the divorce papers."

"Sara didn't sign these…Grissom wouldn't have asked her for a divorce," he growled.

"Don't you find it odd that a woman suffering from post traumatic syndrome is back…"

"Sara doesn't…"

Heather grabbed the papers from his hand, and pulled out a sheet of paper, placing it on the top.

It angered him that Sara's medical records were in Heather's possession.

Brass frowned. "So she got better."

"She ran from this place and then just suddenly returns out of the blue…without Grissom?"

Brass slumped down into his seat.

"What do you suggest that I do?"

"Broadcast a missing person's report on Grissom…now! Go after Sara…and…"

"For what reason?"

"She lied to me…to you…to this lab. Why? She knows what happened to Grissom. Bring her in for questioning."

Brass picked up the phone.

He glanced at his watch, not liking that Sara had broken her promise to have Grissom call him.

Despite Heather's involvement, he was worried about his friend as well as Sara.

"Nick…I need you to do something for me…it's about Sara."

Heather sat down in the chair. "Finally," she griped.

An hour later, Catherine tapped on his door motioning for him to come out.

"What the hell is going on?" she griped.

"Have you talked with Sara?" he asked urgently.

"No…in fact, I haven't seen her and shift is about to start."

Brass cursed.

He filled Catherine in.

"Cath…have the guys pull Sara's clearance…check through everything she's been working on."

"Why?"

"She came back here for a reason…maybe… hell, I don't know. Did Grissom confide in you…about his reason to go to Costa Rica?"

"He was going to see Sara." When her answer didn't seem to appease him she added. "Grissom rarely talked about his private life but I assumed he was going to be with Sara. It made sense to me," she grumbled.

"Heather claims he was going to…give her divorce papers."

"I don't believe that."

Brass handed her the papers.

"Sara said…" Brass interrupted Catherine.

"Grissom never went to France …there's no record that he's working at any university."

Catherine was silent for a moment. "So…they split…up. Why did Sara…come back here? Why did she tell us…You don't think…Sara wouldn't be capable of…Jim, I kid a lot about what I would do with a cheater but Sara would never hurt Grissom. She would rather die than hurt him."

"We need to find her…and fast," whispered Brass.

"Why did she lie to us?" griped Nick.

Both of them turned to see an irate Nick.

"Heather was right. Grissom never left the country. What is going on? Has Grissom been kidnapped or something? Cause I know Sara would never…I didn't think it made sense for her to be here…without Grissom."

"Nicky…get Langston to check on everything Sara's handled…maybe there's a clue…something to help make sense of this mess," stated Catherine.

"Sara would never harm Grissom. Hell, she would walk through fire for him…for any of us," griped Nick. "Something is wrong…Sara doesn't lie…a kidnapping maybe."

"If she was using her clearance for personal business she could be fired for this," whispered Catherine.

"We've got to keep this down…no one knows…not even Ecklie," whispered Brass. "Not until we have something more to go on."

"I'll review Sara's clearance…see if there is some explanation for her deception," stated Nick as he left the office.

Five hours passed and still there was no word.

Langston and Nick appeared in Catherine's doorway.

"Sara was tracking Grissom," announced Nick. "Sara has been checking his credit card transactions. We thinkg she's trying to locate him."

"Grissom?" asked Catherine.

Brass stepped closer to see the report.

"His last purchase was made at Mt. Washington Inn. We put in a call and he's still listed as a guest but he's not in the hotel at the moment. I've asked them to locate him immediately," stated Langston.

Catherine leaned back in her chair. "Look…this looks like…a personal…matter. I don't think we should go any further unless we haven't heard from Grissom."

"What about Sara?" asked Greg as he stood in the door way. "There's still no contact with Sara. Her cell phone was found in the townhouse. Some of her clothes were just lying on the couch. There was unopened mail on the table along with a package…addressed to Grissom. The only prints were Sara's and Grissom's."

Greg set the package on Catherine's desk.

Catherine sighed. "Well, there's no proof of an abduction…Sara appeared to go willingly with the man."

Catherine glanced down at the package. "Anyone for coffee?"

She left the package there, heading to the break room.

"She wants coffee at a time like this?" grumbled Greg.

"Catherine is thinking," explained Nick.

Catherine leaned against the counter as Brass stepped into the break room.

"What the hell do you think happened?" whispered Catherine.

"Grissom left…Costa Rica…for some reason without telling Sara and she came back to look for him."

"Why didn't she come to us?" muttered Catherine.

"She probably didn't want any of us to jeopardize our job….so she came back in order to get the clearance she needed."

Catherine huffed. "Jim, you know what I mean. She didn't confide in any of us…she lied to us."

"That says a lot about us doesn't it?" he shot back.

"What do you mean?" she challenged.

"We've always confided in her…but she didn't feel she could confide in us."

"The hell she couldn't," griped Catherine.

"Cath…she would never alienate us from Grissom. She's always wanted us to take Grissom's side. Despite being supportive of us, she's felt like the loner ever since she came to Vegas. She had to because of her involvement with Grissom."

"Well…I would have helped her…especially since Grissom has had his head in his ass ever since he moved in with Heather. When he finally announced he was leaving the lab, I knew he'd finally realized what was most important. I really thought…he was going to Costa Rica to fix things with Sara."

"I guess we'll find out what happened," stated Brass. "I don't believe the bullshit Heather is trying to spread…despite the copy of the divorce."

"Any word from Grissom?" asked Catherine.

Brass shook his head.

"His credit cards could have been stolen…I don't think Grissom would ignore…everyone. I can see him ignoring Sara…or Lady Heather but…"

Greg rushed into the room. "You guys have to see this," he urged.

"What is it?" asked Catherine.

"Nick…Nick opened the package and…there's a miniature inside."

The others ran into Catherine's office as Nick sat transfixed.

Catherine gasped at the contents inside the box.

Inside the box was a replica of a gravesite.

Sara's name was written on the wooden cross.

"Jim….miniature killer," she whispered.

Langston stepped forward. "Is there any word from Sara?"

They jumped when Catherine's phone rang.

"Willows," she said.

"Cath…what the hell is going on? Why did you get the local police to find me? I'm not with the lab anymore," griped Grissom.

Catherine swallowed. "Gil…it's Sara. You need to get here…quick."

There was a long pause.

"Gil, she's been abducted. We found a…miniature…in your house."

Catherine waited for him to respond. "Gil!"

"I'm on my way," he said.

The phone clicked as Catherine glanced at the others.

"Greg…take Sara's laptop…check her email…documents…" Catherine took a deep breath. "We need to talk with Heather."

Nick stared at the miniature remembering his own hellish nightmare at being buried alive.

"Nicky…are you alright?" asked Catherine.

"Do you think…she's still alive?" he asked. "Do you think…she was buried…alive?"

"If…the person…copies Natalie…then yes…she's alive and we've got to find her."

Nick gulped. "What are the chances that we find her a second time?"

"Nick, we're going to find her. Sara is a fighter. She won't give up…you didn't."

He cleared his throat. "Cath, we can't lose Sara too."

"We won't," she urged.

Langston looked at Catherine. "This Natalie…do you think she may have orchestrated this from prison?"

"Natalie is dead…she hanged herself. This person is working solo," said Catherine.

"I'll check for fingerprints on the miniature…see if there was any trace evidence left behind," offered Langston as he removed it from Catherine's desk.

"Nick…help Greg," soothed Catherine as she reached out and squeezed his hand.

"I'm alright," he whispered. "I just…know what she is going through."

Brass offered Heather a cup of coffee. "Catherine spoke with Grissom personally. He is on his way."

"Then he's alright?" she asked.

"Yes. Heather, we want you to sit with a sketch artist so a composite can be made of the man with Sara."

Heather fidgeted. "I'm not sure I can do that. I mean I'm not sure I can remember what he looked like."

"Then let's go back over every detail," he gritted.

Brass flexed his fists.

Already they'd lost an hour just coddling the tramp and he was ready to throttle her in order to get the information.

"I recall you telling Grissom you never forget a face. It's convenient that you suddenly are having difficulty after you found out Grissom was fine or are you thinking that with Sara out of the way, you could have him to yourself?"

Heather bristled but then relaxed. "I've had Grissom to myself for months. He went to Costa Rica to get closure. "

"You wish. Where was the last place you saw their vehicle?"

"Going…toward the strip…yes, that's it."

Brass didn't believe her for a second.

Hours ticked by.

Brass stepped into Catherine's office.

"Has Greg had any luck with Sara's computer?" asked Catherine.

"They just got access. It looks as though all of the emails were sent to Grissom," said Brass.

"Anything else?" asked Catherine.

"Sara booked a flight to Portland Maine. There was a rental charged to her credit card. I think she was going to go to Grissom….she never got on the plane," said Nick as he stepped into the doorway.

He slumped down into a chair.

"Nick…what's wrong?" asked Catherine.

"Sara sent over fifty emails to Grissom. He finally responded to her…and then she sent one last email. By Heather's timeline…it was right before she left with the man," he gritted.

Grissom appeared in the doorway.

Catherine flew into his arms. "Gil…I'm sorry."

His body tensed. "Have you…found her?"

"Not yet," whispered Catherine.

He stood there out of breath as if he'd been running.

Nick walked over to him as Grissom extended his hand but he was not prepared to be flattened by Nick's fist.

Note from author:

I thought he deserved it…LOL and some of you did too! So let's hear Grissom's side of it… as many of you have guessed, Heather is not so nice in this story- my first time at making her a bad person. I actually love Heather! I appreciate everyone leaving a review. Isn't it nice to know that the story is done and you get a chapter every day until it is finished.

Take care!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

Grissom fell to the floor as Brass grabbed Nick pulling him away.

Nick yelled at Grissom. "You bastard! This is your fault!"

"Nick!" reprimanded Catherine as she helped Grissom to his feet.

"Sara's been trying to reach him for weeks!" yelled Nick.

Grissom rubbed his jaw.

His eyes caught sight of the miniature and he scrambled to his feet, his face looked horrified as he stared at it.

Catherine rubbed his back but he swiped her hand away.

"How…how long have you had this?" he asked.

"A couple of hours…Griss, it was delivered to the townhouse…so we don't know how long it has been there. We suspect the man who took Sara put it there for us to find."

"Don't act like you give a damn," cried Nick.

Grissom whirled around and faced Nick. "You think I don't care what happens to Sara…she's my wife for God's sake."

"Nick…don't," warned Catherine as Nick tried to lunge toward Grissom.

Brass stepped between them.

Grissom glanced up and saw Heather in the hallway.

"You're a twisted man…to give up Sara…for something like that!" yelled Nick.

Heather stepped back, acting as though Nick's words had wounded her.

"You were…a bastard to send that email to her!" cried Nick.

Grissom raked his hand through his hair as he tried to calm down before replying. "Nick, I haven't sent any emails to Sara in months. I haven't even checked my own damn email in weeks!"

Langston appeared in the door way.

He glanced at Grissom's reddened jaw and then at Nick's bloodied fist.

"I got a fingerprint from the miniature. I ran it and got a hit. Darren Reed."

Grissom's head jerked around. "There was a Darren on Sara's research team in Costa Rica. I didn't get his last name."

Langston smiled. "It's the same. His passport shows he was recently in Costa Rica…now he's back. Research team must have been desperate. They didn't check his resume. He falsified everything on his it except his name. A few run ins with the law in his early twenties but then he just sort of disappears…"

Brass interrupted, "Or got smarter."

"I noticed his juvenile record was sealed so I followed a hunch…Darren Reed was a foster child in…"

Grissom wasn't listening.

He slumped back into the chair, not sure if he could endure this same torturous hell again.

Langston handed Grissom a copy of Darren's driver's license photo.

Grissom swallowed. "That's him….the same man on Sara's team."

"Take it to Heather and see if this is the man she saw with Sara," stated Catherine.

Grissom glanced at Catherine at the mention of Heather's name.

"I'll fill you in," she said.

"I'll get an arrest warrant," stated Brass. "Give me a copy of the photo."

Catherine spoke softly as Grissom stared at the miniature.

His trembling hands touched the miniature cross bearing Sara's name.

Catherine partially closed the door giving them some privacy.

"I…didn't want to hear from her," he whispered.

"Gil….I don't mean to pry…but what happened in Costa Rica? We didn't know what to think when Sara came back here without you. She told us you were teaching in France….waiting on a grant to come in. We found out she'd been tracking your credit card transactions…trying to locate you," Catherine said.

"I thought she…I was convinced she wanted to move on without me," he said sadly.

"Sara? How did you get such an idiotic thought? Wait, let me guess, Heather."

He grunted as if in pain. "When I got to their camp…I saw her briefly. She seemed distant."

"Gil….don't you think she might have been distant because she'd gotten word that you'd moved in with Heather?"

Grissom looked shocked that she knew.

Catherine rolled her eyes. "All of us knew…but I don't think any of us told her."

He gritted his teeth. "This Darren guy made me believe they were…the evidence…was damning," he emphasized.

"Did you confront Sara?"

"I just left…taking the coward's way out," he grieved.

"If you had stayed, no doubt Darren would have killed both of you in Costa Rica," she countered.

"How long…has it been since she was abducted?" he asked.

"Nine hours," sighed Catherine.

"Any leads…at all?" he asked.

Catherine shook her head.

He slumped down into a chair with his head in his hands. "I'm so tired of this, Catherine."

Catherine knelt beside him. "Sara is a fighter. She fought hard last time and will this time."

"She was really looking for me?" he asked.

Catherine handed him the report of Sara's computer activity.

"Nick…mentioned emails," he said.

"Sara sent over fifty emails to you. There is one response…from you which Sara opened. She replied just before she left with a man….I suspect Darren Reed."

"Someone else sent the response. I didn't. I've had my phone off…no email access…I needed to think," he explained.

"It must have been sent by Darren Reed," reasoned Catherine.

"What did it say?" he asked.

Catherine handed him a copy of the email.

He gulped as he read it and then looked at her reply.

_Gil,_

_I never meant to complicate your life. Warrick's death was not your fault. It was mine. We both know that and I am sorry. Know that I loved you and never wanted any of this to happen. Please have Heather to come and get Bruno. He will be in the back yard. You can have everything back….as if I never…left the desert. _

_I'm sorry. _

_Sara_

"Cath…could you give me a minute," he pleaded.

Catherine stepped out of the room.

Grissom swiped at his eyes.

Catherine lingered outside the door, watching out of the corner of her eye as Heather slinked closer.

"You're going to stay clear," warned Catherine. "Understand?"

Heather retreated.

The door opened and Grissom rushed out with the miniature in his hand.

"The desert…she's in the desert," he almost cried.

"But the dirt on the miniature…it doesn't match the sand in the desert," stated Catherine.

"He's an amateur at this…it's revenge he wants," yelled Grissom.

Heather ignored Catherine's glare and ran to his side. "Gil, I've been so worried about you! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…Sara was kidnapped again by one of Ernie Dell's foster kids," he grieved.

Heather clasped her arms around his neck, pressing her thin body to his. "I'm so sorry. I knew something was wrong when I saw Sara leaving the townhouse."

Grissom pulled her arms from around his neck, grabbing a firmer grip on the miniature.

"Catherine…I need a chopper," he said. "Call Jim and…"

He rattled off orders as he felt his feet rushing toward the back door leaving Heather standing in the hallway.

Nick drove the others while Grissom and Langston hopped on a helicopter, hoping to get to the site within minutes.

Grissom gasped when he caught sight of the gravesite.

"Land this now!" he yelled.

Sara screamed one last time as she cried out in pain.

Suddenly she felt her body rising.

She looked down at her lifeless body lying in the wooden box as her spirit rose to the surface.

She sat down on the mound of dirt and breathed in deeply.

The air was fresh and cool as she wiped her brow.

A shoulder nudged her and she turned to see Warrick sitting beside her.

"Hey cookie," he smiled.

"Warrick?" she sobbed as she pulled him into her arms.

"It's good to see you, cookie," he said, "But you can't stay up here…you have to go down there."

Sara swallowed. "Down?"

He chuckled. "I guess you're going to rethink this religious stuff now. I need you to go back into the coffin. You need to wait. Grissom will be here soon."

Sara shook her head vehemently.

"It will only be for a little while longer," urged Warrick.

"No Rick…I can't go back. I don't want to go back…in that…it's too hard."

"You don't have a choice," he stated.

"You did," she spat. "You made the choice to let go…die."

"I did it…to protect Grissom. It was an easy choice to make given the circumstances," explained Warrick.

"There is no one…to save here," said Sara.

"It isn't your time to die. Mine was up, Sara. "

"I'm choosing it….and it's now!"

Warrick hugged her. "It doesn't work that way. You don't get to choose in circumstances like this."

"In circumstances where a maniac has buried me alive, I'm changing the rules."

"You don't get to change the rules."

"I'm tired, Warrick. I don't have any fight left in me," she cried.

"Sara, listen closely to me. I don't have much time. You have to go back…now!"

She refused.

"Sara…someone is waiting for you…on that side…not on this side. It's not your time. Understand?"

"Why couldn't it be my time?" she said tearfully.

"Because…you're not finished here."

He hugged her to him and then pushed her, her spirit falling back into the gravesite.

She cried out when she slipped into her body once more.

She struck at the lid of the coffin. "I loved him!" she wept. "I thought…he loved me."

She kicked at the air hole. "Let me die!"

"Sara!" She stilled at the voice inside the darkness.

"Just sleep, Sara. Sleep for awhile," Warrick's voice instructed.

They jumped out as soon as the helicopter touched ground, pulling out the digging gear they had brought.

The helicopter took off needing to settle down away from the sight.

"Do you hear that?" yelled Langston.

They spotted a generator.

"He's piping air into the coffin," said Grissom, his hope rising with every shovel of dirt.

The generator shut off.

Langston checked it while Grissom continued to dig.

"It's clogged," he said. "The sand from the helicopter blades clogged up the motor."

Langston motioned for the pilots to try to get the generator restarted while he resumed shoveling.

The others arrived.

Nick and Greg joined in with shovels.

They hit the wooden coffin at five feet.

"It's one piece!" Grissom yelled. "We'll have to pry off the lid."

Minutes ticked by as they struggled to clear off the dirt from the top of the coffin.

Finally, they opened the coffin.

Grissom froze at the sight of her still body.

Langston checked for a pulse. "There's a pulse. It's weak but it's there."

They grabbed her out of the coffin laying her on the desert floor cradled in Grissom's arms.

Greg picked up the coffin lid, finding nail marks that had left a bloodied message.

He swallowed as he glanced at the others.

Greg handed it to Nick, their eyes still on the lid, refusing to see Sara in her battered state struggling to survive.

Catherine's hand landed on Nick's shoulder as he stared down at the coffin remembering his ordeal.

"Gil, she's been shot," Langston cautioned as he examined Sara's leg.

"She's lost a lot of blood. I don't know why she didn't bleed out. She must have gone into shock," he warned. "We've got to get her to a hospital."

It felt like déjà vu as Grissom stepped into the helicopter with Sara's body.

Within minutes they were landing at Desert Palms and once again he was sitting in a waiting room.

Brass sat down beside him.

"Any word?"

Grissom shook his head. "Langston is…with her. He said he would let us know something."

"Gil, we're going to need to know what happened in Costa Rica…from the beginning," warned Brass.

Grissom talked about Darren's deception.

"And you didn't even bother to hang around to hear Sara's side of it?" he griped.

"The guy…the tent…the condoms…spoke for itself," Grissom said. "What would you have believed…done?"

"I would have put the guy on his ass and waited for Sara to show up. And if she had done what you think she did, I would have gotten on my sorry ass knees and begged her to come back to me."

"Would you have really done that? Put yourself out there to bleed a little more?" grieved Grissom.

"I would have given her a choice…myself for…that dick head that sort of looks like you," griped Brass.

"I couldn't…do that."

"You righteous bastard! You really did think she was screwing around and you didn't like it. You ran off to pout somewhere…too much damn pride to fight for her if she was with someone. Or did you even give a shit? Why did you go down there? Were you going to hand her the divorce papers?"

Grissom glared at him. "How did you know…about that?"

"Heather showed them to me. She insisted something had happened to you because you were going down there to give Sara the divorce papers and then coming back. Sara came back instead. She gave me a copy to prove how she's got you by the balls."

"It wasn't like that," he cried. "Did Sara know…about the papers?"

"If you had read your damn emails you would know that," he yelled.

Grissom's head landed in his hands.

"Tell me Grissom, how many times do you have to almost lose her to understand what it will be like if you do? How many does this make? From Adam Trent to psycho Natalie to…this Darren piece of shit."

He kept his head down as his friend berated him.

"I don't mean to kick a man when he's down but then again, you're an exception," Brass fumed, directing his anger at Grissom.

Langston appeared.

Both men jumped to their feet.

"She's in recovery. I'm…not sure if she's going to get back full use of her leg. She probably won't be able to run anymore….there will be a limp…but she's going to make it."

Gil sighed. She was going to be alright. They could deal with the leg limitations later.

Langston grabbed his arm. "Gil, we suspect there might be some brain damage."

Grissom shook his head in denial.

"How?" he cried. "She was breathing. There was oxygen…we got to her in time!"

"There was a deep laceration on the left side of Sara's head. There's some swelling of the cerebral cortex. I want to prepare you… Sara may not be the same….as she was."

Note from author:

Well, I didn't drag that you...but what a way to end the night. Let me know what you think. I'm reading every review and they mean alot.

Take care!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

There was a hush among the team at Langston's words.

"How much brain damage…do you suspect?" asked Grissom.

"I'm not sure. We'll know more when she wakes."

Grissom shakily asked, fearing the others would object to his need to see her but they remained quiet when he asked, "When can I see her?"

"In a few hours. I suggest you get a shower…get something to eat as well as some sleep."

"Thanks Ray."

Brass cursed under his breath as he stood next to Grissom.

"Jim…I didn't want her to find out…like this," Grissom said.

Brass snorted in anger. "Just so you know I'm glad that Heather thought enough of you to insist on locating you…but every time there's a problem between the two of you, her name comes up. Ever wonder about that?"

Brass did not hang around for a response.

Catherine edged over. "You okay?"

"That depends. Are you going to chew my ass like Jim? I'm not sure there's much left," he whispered.

He leaned back against the wall, swiping his sleeve across his face.

"Your suitcase is in my car. How about you come back to my place and shower? You can get something to eat and…"

He shook his head. "I can't leave."

Catherine smiled. "I'm sure the nurses will let you have access to a room soon."

Catherine glanced at the guys.

Grissom did the same.

"They've been quiet," she said.

"They've chosen sides…and I'm glad that…they chose Sara."

"Yeah, well I'm on yours…and hers."

Grissom smiled slightly. "Learning lab politics are you?"

Catherine grinned. "Oh yeah."

Her face grew serious. "I talked with Ecklie and Sara's case has been turned over to swing."

"Why?" he asked angrily. "My…your guys are the best."

She smiled slightly as he tried to correct the slip.

"I don't want them…to sift through…"Catherine cleared her throat. "We've been through enough. It took weeks for us to finally be able to get a good night's sleep after Warrick's death. I'm not going to put us through that. Didn't you see how Greg and Nick reacted to…the coffin lid?"

Grissom shook his head. "I was focused on Sara. I didn't…see how they…"

"Sara was conscious for quite some time…there are bloody claw marks on the lid. She scrolled Darren's name…made sure we knew the name of her killer," stated Catherine as she sighed deeply. "She also…scrolled an apology to you…over and over…in blood…her blood."

He lurched out of his seat searching for the nearest trash can.

He hurled as his stomach churned uncontrollably.

Catherine stood beside him, rubbing his back as he gasped through dry heaves.

A bottle of water was thrust at him and he took it.

He glanced over to see Nick on the other side of him.

He rinsed his mouth out and then took a drink.

"Better?" Catherine whispered.

He nodded as he cautiously walked back to his seat. "Cath…" he swallowed as if he were about to be sick again. He took a deep breath. "I need…to know…no hands on…just observe…okay?" he managed to get out.

"Ecklie already okayed it."

Langston reappeared.

He was surprised to see him so soon. By his expression it was not good news.

"Gil…my suspicions about brain damage is correct. Sara is having seizures."

"Can you do anything…give her medication to stop the seizures?"

"I have but I just wanted to prepare you," he warned.

"I need to be with her," stressed Grissom.

"She needs to be monitored closely."

The look of desperation on Grissom's face won out. "I'll take you to her," stated Langston as he eyed Grissom.

He sat down slipping his hand into hers.

He leaned forward and kissed her, his cheek next to hers.

"I'm here Sara," he whispered. "I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over.

Langston gave Grissom a moment before he stepped into the room.

"They're concerned that she isn't conscious yet," stated Langston as he checked her vitals. "It would be good if you talk with her…get her to respond."

For the next several hours, Grissom talked softly to her but she remained asleep.

She was taken for further tests while Grissom paced the room.

Langston stepped into the room.

"Do you have the results of Sara's tests?" Grissom asked eagerly.

"The swelling has gone down. The tests are inconclusive…she needs to wake up."

She woke three days later.

Her eyes flitted open slightly and tried to shut but he yelled at her to remain awake.

"Sara…this is Ray. You have to stay awake," he ordered.

He checked her eyelids and she tried to jerk away.

"That's good! Open your eyes…let us know you understand," he said.

She stared at Langston.

"Sara…do you recognize me?" he asked.

She ignored the request.

Grissom gently turned her head so that she could see him.

Gently he squeezed her battered hand.

"Hey," smiled Grissom. "You're finally awake."

"Sara…tell us your full name," directed Langston.

Her eyes remained fixed on Grissom's face as if she were studying it.

Langston glanced at Grissom.

"Sara, Ray wants you to tell us your full name," said Grissom.

His smile faded when her eyes remained fixed on his face.

"Sara?" Grissom pulled her hand to his lips. "Honey, say something."

Grissom shot a glance at Langston as he leaned forward, caressing her cheek.

"Sara…do you recognize me?" Grissom pleaded.

Her eyes bore a hole into him as he nervously turned to Langston.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked.

"It could be shock…it could be brain damage…I'm not sure," he admitted.

Grissom clasped her face with his hands. "Sara, do you understand me?" He kissed her on the forehead. "Honey, please…please say something."

She took a gulp of air.

Machines began to blare as she went into a full blown seizure.

"Sara!" Langston yelled as he pushed the emergency call button for the nurse, yelling out instructions.

Grissom was shoved to the side as Langston administered the injection.

She calmed, closing her eyes once more.

Grissom grabbed her hand once more.

"We'll try this again in a few hours," whispered Langston.

The next few hours were gut wrenching as Grissom sat by her side, refusing to budge.

She finally woke a little before 3:00 a.m.

Her eyes focused on the window.

Grissom turned her face toward him.

"I'm here," he whispered.

Her stare was intense as he sat down on the edge of the bed careful with her injured leg.

"Sara…give me your full name."

No matter how he phrased his question, her reaction was the same.

Her eyes stared at him but she gave no answer.

He gathered her into his arms and wept, whispering over and over that it would be okay.

Days passed and he continued to try to reach her, speaking softly to her as he stroked her hair.

Her body was healing but she remained separated from reality, not willing to react to any external stimuli.

Brass appeared motioning for Grissom to step out of the room.

"We've located Reed," he said.

Grissom's eyes darkened. "I want to…see him."

"I don't think so," stated Brass. "I just wanted you to know…for Sara."

"Jim…please. I want…I need to be there," gritted Grissom.

_Sara may never be the same again…_

_Darren did that…_

_He hurt the only person I've ever loved…_

Grissom's hand coiled into a fist, while he tried to tap down the anger.

"Nothing stupid," warned Brass.

"I just want to make sure he's arrested," assured Grissom.

"Then let's go," stated Brass.

Brass glanced at him as he drove toward the house listed on the warrant.

"Any change…with Sara?" he asked.

"We're not sure if it's shock…or brain damage," he shuddered.

"Sara's a fighter."

Grissom nodded.

The Adler case haunted his every thought.

Sara had been devastated when the youth was going to avoid being tried as an adult because the victim was too tough to die, remaining in a vegetative state until her husband pulled the plug.

He swallowed. "Too tough to die," he whispered.

"_The husband doesn't get it. He's so happy she's going to live. He doesn't realize she's going to be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life."_

_Sara could wind up in Haven View Center…_

_It's his fault…_

_He took her from me…_

_First Natalie and then Darren…_

_What kind of husband doesn't protect his wife?_

"Gil? Gil!" yelled Brass.

"Yes?"

"Don't make me regret this," stated Brass.

The officers were waiting down another street for Brass.

They slipped toward the house.

Someone inside the house opened fired.

An officer kicked down the front door but he went down immediately.

Brass cursed as Grissom ran towards the officer.

"Officer down, I repeat, officer down," yelled Brass in his radio.

Grissom pulled the officer away from the open door and grabbed his weapon.

He waited a moment and then rushed into the house.

"Oh Christ," grumbled Brass as he ran towards the house with the other officers following.

Grissom made his way toward the sound coming from the kitchen.

Darren leaned against the fridge, his shoulder a crimson red.

He aimed his gun toward Grissom.

"Well well, so you've come for revenge. I hear she survived…barely."

"Put your weapon down," warned Grissom.

He laughed as he straightened. "I'll get three meals and a cot while Sara…well Sara will remain in a vegetative state. Kind of ironic, laughable don't you think? A vegetarian in a vegetative state."

"Why?" demanded Grissom.

"There's a pain in my…."

Brass halted at the entry when gunfire exploded once more.

Grissom did not hesitate as he put a bullet between the man's eyes.

Brain matter splattered on the fridge behind Reed.

Grissom glanced at his arm, a slight sting.

Brass rushed in with the other officers.

"Oh great, this is going to be good…an ex CSI…killing his wife's kidnapper."

Grissom handed Brass the gun.

"He fired…I had no choice."

Brass didn't say anything further.

He knew that Grissom was a better shot than anyone.

He could have easily shot the man in the arm or shoulder, disabling him but instead, he killed him just as he would have, given the chance.

Within a few hours, he was by Sara's side once more.

He leaned over and whispered softly into her ear. "Darren will never hurt you again. I made sure of it."

Note from author:

Can you blame him? Sigh, well, the ending to that chapter wasn't so bad…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

He had become quite agitated when he was forced to return for questioning in the shooting, not wanting to leave her side any longer than necessary.

There were still grumblings over the shooting but he was not concerned.

He had reacted when Darren fired the first shot.

Brass had shoved him into a corner whispering to not indicate that he was an expert marksman.

It had almost made him laugh.

He had fired, nothing more, his mind filled with that damn song Natalie sang as well as the soft sound of the way Sara would sigh just after they'd made love.

By the fifth hour of being held for questioning, he thought he was going insane himself.

Brass had later driven him back to the hospital, both silent, not sure what to say to one another.

Just as he started to get out of the vehicle, Brass finally spoke.

"I would have done the same thing," Jim said.

"Same thing?"

"I would have aimed for his damn…"

Grissom got out of the car, slamming the car door.

Brass followed, concern written on his face.

"Hey, Gil. You okay?"

"Don't! Don't give me credit that I don't deserve. I fired back. I didn't aim. I should have. I wanted the bastard dead and even now when he is, I can't even give myself credit…I fired my gun…like some damn amateur."

"Yeah….but he's dead at least."

"And Sara is still in a vegetative state," he cried. "There is no justice. There could never be…I may never get her back."

He raked his hand through his hair, exhaustion along with grief and remorse evident in his eyes.

"I told her that Darren would never hurt her again…that I made sure of it…even that was a lie. I fired my gun and a man is dead. I took credit for it…because I wanted to do something right…for a change…something that didn't bring her pain…only she feels nothing already. She may never…" he didn't finish as he swiped at his eyes.

"Darren Reed was a murderer. The man he replaced on the Costa Rica expedition was found dead...Darren's prints were everywhere."

Grissom did not reply as he went into the hospital.

One evening while she slept, he stepped away from the bed.

It had begun to rain.

There were thunderstorms in the forecast.

A flash of lightning lit up the room as a clap of thunder literally shook the building.

Langston came into the room.

"Any change?" he whispered.

Grissom shook his head. "She's awake but…not awake."

"We've done a full work up and the lab results should be coming in soon. Right now, I have no answer as to why she's in this condition other than…emotional trauma. She went through pure hell with being buried alive."

"Two near death traumas has its toll," whispered Grissom.

"Her toxicology report came back clean, no indication that she'd been given any drugs," reported Langston as he glanced back at Grissom.

"Her birth control shot is coming due. I'll put a note in the case for this to be continued."

Grissom nodded.

At that moment he wondered if a child would have kept them together.

He was never opposed to having a family but he was much older than Sara and having a family at this juncture in his life was not something he'd ever planned.

He voiced his opinion and Sara had merely gotten on birth control.

Langston patted him on the back.

"Don't forget to get some rest," he urged as he disappeared.

He whirled around when he heard a soft moan coming from the bed.

He sat down caressing her cheek as he gently woke her.

"You were having a dream," he whispered as she stared at him. "You were always afraid of thunder and lightning."

"I'm here," he soothed, yearning for life behind those dark brown orbs.

He got out of the chair and carefully sat down on the edge of the bed.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Sara."

Her dull eyes remained fixed on his face.

They were lifeless.

He choked down a sob.

He'd never cried in front of her but it didn't seem to matter as she lay there not acknowledging his presence.

Not even with the death of Warrick had he fully broken down but now the tears rolled down his cheeks as his heart brought forth words that spilled from his mouth.

"Do you even care that I'm here? Do you want to know where I went…no, you know that. You were checking my credit card history. I…took the first available flight then…took the next one." He gulped down a sob. "It was random. I didn't care…where I was going. There was…no reason…no purpose."

His shoulders shook. "I ran…did what you were good at. I ran away to deal with my pain…my ghosts. Yes, Sara. Who the hell doesn't have ghosts? You took away everything that mattered the most to me…you. You ran from our bed, our home, our careers and I waited! I threw myself into my job and…I forgave you. I did. I really did. You offered me a crumb…small contact here and there and I grabbed it, hung on to it…but then Warrick died."

He swiped at his eyes, angry that he was letting himself fall apart.

"I walked in and there you stood in my office. You came home. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't going to have to go through Warrick's death alone." He gritted his teeth. "But then you were going to leave again. Do you know how much that hurt? You said you couldn't stay. Wasn't I enough reason? Didn't you care…damn you, Sara."

He covered his mouth. "I didn't mean it! I'm sorry," he cried. "God, forgive me. I'm sorry."

He grabbed her into his arms as he cried. "Don't run away again, Sara. Please don't leave me again. I'm so tired of being without you. Please!"

He clutched her unresponsive body as his head lay on her abdomen, letting his grief get the better of him.

He sobbed uncontrollably.

The heart monitor sped up a bit but it went undetected by him.

_Sara sat in Grissom's chair as she glanced around his office. Huge stacks of files sat in piles around the room._

_The door opened and she jumped._

"_Go away Warrick," she spat._

"_Sara, you can't hide in here," he sighed._

"_Yes, I can. I didn't want to live. I wanted peace," she grumbled as she searched through a stack of files on Grissom's desk._

"_I can't figure you out," he said as he pulled up a chair. "You…and Grissom are probably the only two people in the world who would choose their jobs as their favorite place on earth."_

"_Yeah well, I never had too many…safe places in my life."_

_She looked at him. "Did you…come to a place like this when you…you know…died?"_

_He grinned. "My safe place was my grandmother's kitchen. The moment I knew I was dying, I found myself sitting at her kitchen table while she stood there making homemade cookies."_

_Sara's hand caressed Grissom's desk. "This…this is the first place where…we kissed…where he admitted…he loved me. We even…" she stopped._

"_It was that day I came to his office and the door was locked…I knocked a few times but no one answered…even though I'd seen him come in here….as well as you…I kind of guessed something was going on…so I left," chuckled Warrick._

_Sara smiled at the memory but it was brief. _

_She returned to sifting through the files._

_Each was labeled with Sara's handwriting._

_There was a file entitled "Childhood horrors" and another entitled "Pain and Anguish by Gil Grissom." That file was rather thick. She sighed as she dug down deep and began pulling out files containing information on their relationship. Another thick file emerged entitled "Heather Kessler."_

"_Sara, you have to stop this. You don't want to live the rest of your life…here…without him."_

"_He doesn't want me," she sniffled._

"_That's a lie and you know it. You can feel his pain…his sadness. If you stay here any longer there will be consequences."_

"_What kind of consequences? Death…oh goody…show me the light and I'm gone," she cried as she grabbed a hand full of files._

"_Not death, Sara…something worse…much worse," he warned._

"_What could…"_

"_You want to remain in a vegetative state…like Pamela Adler…stuck in here…alone until your time finally comes?"_

_Sara swallowed. "No…but Warrick….there's something I forgot. I know it. Something I need to find out before I…"_

"_You don't have any more time left."_

"_I'm not ready," she professed._

_Warrick grabbed her by the hand. "Sara, I am not going to let you do this to yourself…or Grissom."_

_She balked, clinging to the files._

"_Sara, leave those. We have to go…now," he pleaded as he grabbed her arm and began to drag her down the hall._

_There was a loud boom and they halted._

"_There's a storm out there. I don't want to go," cried Sara. "Warrick Please! Let me go with you."_

"_I can't but I'm not going to let you stay hidden inside yourself. You don't want this."_

_The files slipped from Sara's hands and fell to the floor._

"_No, no, no!" she lamented. "I need to look over those. I know the answer is in those files and now all of my thoughts and memories are scattered. I've got to straighten these out before I go."_

"_You're out of time. Already, there are repercussions," he warned._

_Sara snatched her hand away. "Not yet."_

_They were standing at the back door._

_Warrick grabbed for the door knob._

"_Don't do it, Warrick. I'm not going," she vowed._

_He opened the door and a mournful sound could be heard._

_Sara gulped._

"_Do you hear him Sara?" yelled Warrick. "Does that sound like a man who doesn't love you?"_

_Before she could react, Warrick shoved her out the door and then locked it._

"_Be tough Cookie…be tough," he whispered._

Slowly Grissom released Sara, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

His hand reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Sara," he pleaded one last time.

Her eyes remained fixed on the window but she shivered each time the thunder sounded.

The storm continued as he sat there stroking her hair.

"It will be over soon," he soothed.

His shoulders slumped.

He was so tired of talking. "I don't…I don't think I can bear to send you to…Haven View Center. I know you used to tell me that Pamela Adler was getting the best of care there but I just can't send you there, Sara. I won't," he wept.

Her lashes flickered as the room slowly came into focus.

Her eyes took in the stark white walls, the tile floor and the absence of any color in the room.

She knew she was in a hospital by the sound of the monitors beside the bed.

She struggled to focus her attention on the person beside her, not sure what to make of the mournful sounds.

She wasn't dead that much was clear to her.

Her leg was injured and her head hurt but she was alive.

Slowly she turned her head slightly to look at him before returning to the window.

Her eyes shot back to the figure, not understanding when or how Grissom had appeared.

It had felt like it had been such a long time since she'd seen him.

His pulse sped up as he squeezed her hand and she turned back to look at him.

Their eyes locked on one another.

He smiled at her, the twinkle evident in his eyes

"Hi honey, I've been waiting for you," he whispered.

Brown eyes stared deep into blue ones.

His eyes were red from lack of sleep and moist from the outbreak she'd heard.

It seemed odd to see his eyes moist with fresh tears that threatened.

Her thoughts were jumbled up as she tried to process the scene before her.

"I'm so glad you came back to me," he swallowed. "I've been waiting a long time."

Her eyes shifted back to the window not able to process the clutter of emotions that suddenly emerged deep within her.

It was as if a huge tidal wave was threatening to crash down upon her.

Emotions such as fear and pain were twisted with sorrow and desolation.

It was too much at once and she took a deep breath not sure what to make of the myriad of emotions.

"Everything is fine," he urged sensing her discomfort over her surroundings. "You're fine. You're here in the hospital…with me. You're safe," he said brokenly as he pulled her into his arms, not caring that his shoulders shook and he was unable to speak for several minutes.

His hand stroked her hair and she pushed the unwanted emotions away and chose to cling to the overwhelming feeling of safety in his arms.

"I'm here Sara," he soothed. "I'm here."

He tried to break the contact but stifled another sob when she refused needing to feel his body close to hers.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

_Did you go away, Grissom?_

_When did you go?_

_How long has it been?_

_It seems like a very long time…_

The feelings of sorrow and desolation returned and tears surfaced.

She gripped his neck tighter until he feared she would dislodge the I.V.

"You're safe, Sara. I won't let anything happen to you," he choked.

He had.

He had left Costa Rica leaving her in the hands of a mad man.

For several minutes he held her, slowly feeling her body relax in his arms.

He pushed her back onto the bed but kept her small injured hands in his, needing to touch her but not wanting to cause her any further pain from her injuries.

His hand stroked her hair like he'd done a thousand times.

He kissed her forehead as he choked backed another sob.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted you to acknowledge me."

His lips kissed every inch of her face as he softly told her over and over that everything was going to be alright.

"You're awake," he said over and over.

"Stay awake," he pleaded when her eyelids drooped.

She could not seem to take her eyes off of him as he sat beside her.

She ignored the pain in her body as she marveled at the way he talked to her.

Grissom rarely said much and now he seemed to be overtalking.

It was a bit enduring as his eyes twinkled each time she responded to his touch.

Her eyes turned when the door opened and Langston stood there.

Her eyes looked at him and then back to Grissom.

Grissom smiled. "She's back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

Slowly her mind filtered through the darkness and she began to respond more with each day.

She still slept most of the time which kept Grissom on edge, fearful she would slip back into the black hole she had just returned.

He seemed anxious each time she woke, asking a barrage of questions, making sure she was still aware of her surroundings.

With each day, he grew more confident that she was on the road to recovery.

Her body was already mending.

Her emotional and cognitive health was still an issue.

With every response, he rewarded her with a kiss.

She yearned for his affection and focused on his face as he began to talk about the others.

"Ray will be back later. The guys came by…they want to see you."

His hand gently nudged her to look at him. "Sara…I know we have a lot to talk about but…"

She tensed, pulling back. "It's okay," he soothed. "Honey, we have to know about your injuries. You hurt your head."

Her hand drifted to her head. "That's it…you had a severe concussion…there was some brain swelling. We need you to answer some questions…simple questions…okay? Nod if you understand."

She nodded and he thought he would weep.

His hand caressed her cheek as he tried to compose himself.

He could not believe that she was actually responding to him.

The last few days had been excruciating on his heart.

He couldn't imagine seeing her lie in a vegetative state for the rest of her life.

"Do you know me?" he managed to get out.

_I know you, Gil…_

_Better than you know yourself…_

She attempted to speak but couldn't.

Her hand gripped his, the fear apparent in her eyes.

The words seemed jumbled inside her head along with her thoughts but she knew Grissom.

How could she forget the only person she'd ever loved?

"Nod yes or no. Understand?"

She nodded.

He smiled once again, squeezing her hand.

"Do you remember what happened?"

She glanced at her battered fingers and nodded, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

His thumb swiped it away as he leaned down and kissed her.

She visibly shook and he held her, cursing inwardly that she was so frightened.

"Darren Reed is dead. He can't hurt you," he whispered. "It's over."

She wanted to laugh.

It was almost the same thing he'd said when she'd survived the first time.

"_We caught Natalie. She can't hurt you. It's over."_

The door opened and Langston stepped inside.

Grissom wiped Sara's cheeks with his thumbs, and then wiped his own with his sleeve.

"She responded to questions," smiled Grissom.

Langston smiled.

"Sara, do you remember Ray?" asked Grissom.

She nodded.

Langston grinned. "Sara, has Gil made you answer all of the stupid questions that we doctors insist on knowing?"

Sara glanced at Grissom.

"We just got started," stated Grissom.

"Sara, what is your full name?" asked Langston.

Her breathing picked up as she glanced between the two men.

Grissom felt her anxiety. "Is your name Sara Jane Grissom?"

Sara pulled her hands from his as she struggled to sit up.

Grissom assisted her. "Sara…you didn't answer the question," said Langston eyeing her uneasiness at the question.

She stared at Grissom.

"Honey…don't you remember…when we got married?" he asked.

She nodded as she glanced at her finger to find her wedding ring was gone.

"The nurses removed it…hospital orders," he declared.

She seemed satisfied with his answer until she looked at his hand and noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding band.

_Where is your wedding band, Griss?_

_You swore you would never take it off…_

He felt embarrassed by it remembering he had removed it the day left the jungle, tossing into his suitcase.

He wasn't sure whether it was still there, not caring what happened to it.

Grissom leaned over to kiss her forehead once more.

She pulled back a little but Grissom ignored her, unable to keep himself from touching her.

"Sara, can you say something?" asked Langston.

She looked between the two men.

"Sara…say my name," whispered Grissom.

_You were wearing it when you arrived in Costa Rica…_

_Just like I was wearing mine…_

_But you left suddenly..._

_why did you leave Gil?_

Her breathing changed in an instant and Langston quickly took over. "No more questions," he soothed.

He took Sara's hand and held it while he glanced at the heart monitor. "Take slow…even breaths, Sara."

Langston waited a few minutes and then spoke. "Sara, you don't have to speak. You can just nod yes or no…understand?"

She nodded.

Langston smiled. "Just rest."

Langston motioned for Grissom to step out of the room but Sara gripped his hand, not wanting to let go.

"I'm not leaving her," whispered Grissom.

"No questions. She needs rest…no visitors unless they can just…be here…nothing more," Langston ordered.

There were a thousand questions that Grissom wanted to ask but not at the moment.

Sara was obviously scared and upset.

He was hopeful when she had not wanted him to leave the room but her actions were still distant.

The next few days she slipped in and out of sleep, checking the chair beside her bed to see if he remained.

Each time he was there.

The guys appeared one by one.

They talked softly, letting her know how much they cared and then left without asking a single question.

Catherine offered to do her nails but she hid her hands underneath the blanket, ashamed at what she had tried to do.

Grissom pulled them out, kissing each finger tip.

They hurt but Grissom was gentle, taking extra care not to squeeze too tight.

He often put ointment on them, kissing the palm of her hand when he finished each time.

Even in sleep, he refused to break the physical contact.

He held her hand while she slept helping to keep the nightmares at bay.

When she caught him asleep she tried to speak, opening her mouth but nothing came out.

Her thoughts were there to be said but it pained her when she couldn't utter a sound.

Each time she tried to speak, she became agitated, striking out at the nurses and doctors by refusing to interact, throwing notepads and anything she could grasp into the floor.

It was infuriating how they treated her as if she was some child, some person…with brain damage.

She was still the same Sara Sidle except she could not speak.

Inwardly she knew her thought processes were slow or garbled at times but each day she felt the "fog" slowly lifting.

She refused any sort of testing, becoming highly agitated, not wanting to admit she was still not herself yet.

Once or twice she swore she saw Heather lurking in the halls.

The stench of her perfume wafted in the air once or twice causing her behavior to become erratic.

Grissom seemed to be the only person who could calm her outburst.

He patiently let her vent and then quietly took her hand into his, kissing her palm as he spoke softly to her.

His voice soothed her outbursts easing her into submission like a moth to a flame.

If he attempted to leave, she became agitated, fearing he would disappear like he'd done so many times in her dreams.

He only slipped away when she slept, making quick trips to the cafeteria or just down the hall to stretch his legs.

On the fifth day, a new doctor appeared.

"Sara, this is Dr. Franklin. She is going to talk with you for awhile," said Langston. "Gil and I will be just outside the door."

Sara shook her head.

"I'll stay," offered Grissom.

"Sara, if you don't want your husband to leave then tell me," stated Dr. Franklin.

"She hasn't spoken," whispered Grissom.

"I know that Mr. Grissom. I was trying to give her an incentive. Dr. Langston noted in his chart that she seems fearful when you leave the room."

"_Oh great, talk as those the invalid can't understand," _thought Sara as she turned away clearly upset about the intrusion into her room.

"Yes…she does," Grissom said quietly.

"I'd like for you to leave then," she stated.

Sara arched her eye brow.

Grissom hesitated.

"It will be alright," Dr. Franklin assured him.

Grissom started toward the door but glanced back.

Sara's eyes pleaded with him to remain.

"I'll be just outside the door," he urged.

Sara's eyes widened as the door opened and Grissom stepped out.

Dr. Franklin sat down in the chair that had been vacated by Grissom.

Grissom leaned against the door. "She's making progress," urged Langston. "Maybe Dr. Franklin can assess whether her inability to speak is emotional rather than physical."

"She…was suffering from post traumatic stress…after the first time. I'm not sure she had fully recovered when this happened," offered Grissom.

"Gil…she's fortunate to be alive. Her head injury was significant…I'm still concerned about the seizures but the medication seems to be working. We'll need to do a battery of tests to determine…the extent of the brain damage."

Grissom glanced at the floor. "Do you…think…it's extensive?"

"I really can't say. She refuses to submit to any testing. Gil…you may need to consider a treatment facility that specializes in brain injuries."

Grissom shook his head violently.

He refused to accept that Sara would never be the same as she was before.

Langston was called to the nurses' station.

Grissom leaned back on the wall, closing his eyes.

He felt a warm hand on his arm.

He opened his eyes to see Heather standing there.

"I heard…about the shooting," she said.

"It's over," he said.

"You were injured," she stated.

His hand went instinctively to the wound.

He hadn't even given much attention to the bandage on his arm, too engrossed with Sara's care.

Heather tugged at his arm. "May I see it?"

"The bullet just grazed the surface…nothing serious," he replied.

Her hand pulled up his sleeve, letting her fingertips caress the bandaged area.

"You were lucky," she whispered. "If anything would have happened to you…"

"I'm fine," he smiled, grateful for her concern.

Besides Langston and Catherine, the others were distant, letting him know they held him responsible for Sara's injuries.

Heather glanced toward Sara's room. "How…is she?"

"Possible brain damage…she's can't speak," he cried.

Heather took him into her arms. "I'm sorry. It must be hard…knowing that the Sara you loved…is gone."

He pushed her away. "She's not….she's….."

"Gil…people can be retrained when they suffer from brain damage but they are never the same."

"I'll take her any way I can get her."

"Can you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked angrily.

"It's too soon to be having this discussion. Let's see…how…Sara…is and then we can discuss the ramifications. I'll help you…get through it. We'll…talk about options."

He nodded tiredly and she smiled. "It's going to be alright."

Note from author:

Well you didn't think she would stay out of the picture did you? Sorry for the late posting but I had a house full of people tonight and we had loads of fun! Where is everybody this weekend? Someone owes me some reviews...don't make me hunt you down. LOL

Take care!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

"Ray, when do you think she can be released?" asked Grissom.

Ray frowned. "I'm not sure….Gil, Sara's trauma is severe. We need to know what we're dealing with."

Dr. Franklin stepped out of the room. "She's pretty feisty. She certainly got her point across when I told her I was here to asses her mental ability."

"Did…she cooperate?" asked Grissom hopefully.

Dr. Franklin shook her head. "She tried. She didn't like you leaving the room…of course when I pressed her about her personal life she flipped me off with her middle finger."

Grissom grinned. "At least she's feeling better."

"Mr. Grissom, I think part of her inability to talk is a direct result of her brain injury. She'll need speech classes. I'm concerned about post traumatic stress."

Grissom sighed. "She's been diagnosed with this before."

"I read her file. She's been through a lot. I also know she doesn't like psychiatrists."

"Have you…determined the extent of the brain damage?" he asked.

"I'm sorry but Sara stopped cooperating when I told her I wanted to give her an I.Q. test," she said.

"Why?" he asked angrily.

"Perhaps…she's not ready to accept…the disability. She doesn't want to think…there is anything wrong with her."

_Neither do I…._

"Dr. Franklin…when could Sara be released?"

Dr. Franklin glanced at Grissom. "Let me have a few sessions with her and I'll answer that."

When he returned to the room, he was surprised to find his chair had been shoved away from her bed.

He pulled it back into place and sat down.

She refused to look at him but kept her eyes toward the window.

Her arms were folded across her chest and she appeared to be pouting.

It was quite enduring and he smiled for a second but then stopped, knowing that her fears were not a laughing matter.

"I'm sorry I had to leave. Dr. Franklin wanted to talk with you alone," he explained. "Did she upset you?"

Sara refused to look at him so he slid the chair around to the other side, blocking her view of the window.

"She told me you flipped her off," he grinned.

He reached for a notepad and handed it to her along with a pen but she merely flipped him off as well.

He grinned. "I'm glad to see the spunk in you again."

He took her hand despite her protests. "I asked when you can be released," he said glancing at her reaction.

He smiled when he saw her eagerness.

_Good, she wants to go home…_

_I can use this to my advantage…_

"As soon as you meet with Dr. Franklin for a few sessions we can discuss discharge."

She shook her head adamantly.

"You can't be released unless they assess…" he stopped when he saw threat of tears.

She couldn't bear the thought of being labeled.

Already they were throwing out terms such as "voice impaired." It was better than "dumb."

How could someone be "dumb" because they couldn't speak?

She was mute, not able to speak.

There was nothing "dumb" about her, unless the tests proved her brain had been damaged impairing her cognitive ability.

What would Grissom think of her then?

He was drawn to intellectual beings.

He often stroked her intelligence but how would he react to a wife that was now "dumb?"

_I'm not…_

_I'm still here…_

She woke one evening to the sound of soft voices just outside her door.

She kept her eyes closed as she tried to make out the voices.

The door opened slightly and Grissom looked inside as he stood there talking in a hushed tone to someone.

"I shouldn't have brought up…I tried to talk with her about my reason for going to Costa Rica. She had a set back because of me. She wasn't ready to talk about…"

"Divorce?" said Heather rather loudly.

Grissom quickly shut Sara's door and stepped away from the room.

"I won't give her a divorce…for any reason," stressed Grissom to Heather.

"Gil, it's admirable of you to…"

Nurses ran toward Sara's room.

Grissom followed as he stood there in horror as she suffered a seizure.

"How long?" asked Grissom.

"She just started seizing," called out the nurse. "Was there anyone in here with her?"

"No," agonized Grissom.

The nurse looked at her watch. "I'll call Dr. Langston and see if he wants to increase her medication. It may be awhile before she wakes."

He pulled her into his arms, soothing her as if she was a child. "It's going to be alright, Sara. I promise."

Heather gritted her teeth as she walked away, not liking the way Grissom was glued to Sara's bedside.

Hours later when she woke, she did not remember the seizure, feeling a bit unsettled that she had been asleep for so long.

Langston had dropped by after shift, not willing to increase her seizure medicine just yet which angered Grissom.

Within a few days he faced his first hurdle with Sara's release.

"What the hell do you mean you won't release her?" yelled Grissom.

Langston glanced at Dr. Franklin as he placed his hand on Grissom's arm trying to calm him.

"Mr. Grissom, I don't think it would be in Sara's best interest if she returned…to your home," explained Dr. Franklin.

He bristled. "What do you mean?"

"Sara admitted…that she feels anxiety every time she's there…or in the lab. She associates…those places with her original abduction by Natalie."

Grissom shifted in his seat. "I used to bring the miniatures…there…to the townhouse…to study. I built one…to see…" he glanced at Dr. Franklin seeing her jot a few things down on her pad. He glanced at Langston knowing that his stint at miniature building would probably be misunderstood.. "What if I don't bring her to the townhouse…but someplace else…someplace new?"

"It would certainly help. What do you have in mind?"

"I own a farm house with some land…about thirty minutes from the lab. My mother inherited it years ago and when she died she passed it on to me. It will need some cleaning…I used it once for a mock crime scene…well actually it was going to be a body farm…"

Dr. Franklin looked shocked as Langston turned away to hide his chuckle.

Grissom quickly spoke up. "There were no bodies there ever… except the previous owners…but Sara wouldn't know that."

He sighed not sure if he was digging the hole deep enough to put him out of his misery. "It will need some repairs but we could live there…instead of here."

"I suggest you ask your wife and then we'll go from there," stated Dr. Franklin. "Sara isn't sure where she will be going once she is released."

Grissom felt his pulse skip up a few digits. "She's coming home with me."

"Mr. Grissom, you and your wife have been living apart for quite some time."

"Did she…tell you she didn't want to live with me?" he asked.

"It's a matter of what you want. She doesn't know what you want," clarified Dr. Franklin.

"I want to be with my wife…Sara," stated Grissom with determination.

"Then I suggest you put her at ease."

He waited until after dinner to discuss what had happened in Costa Rica.

"Sara…we haven't talked about…what happened," he began.

Already he could feel her defenses going up.

He eased toward her. "Sara when I got the video…I came to Costa Rica…to get closure so.…"

He was scrambling for the call button as he tried to calm her.

She struggled to breathe and he worried it was another seizure.

Nurses rushed in as he quietly soothed her, talking her through gasps of air.

She tried to jerk her arm away when the nurse inserted the needle.

Her eyes pleaded with Grissom to stop the nurse but he stroked her hair. "It's just to calm you."

Her eye lids drooped immediately.

"That's it, Sara. Just rest," he whispered.

He stood there agonizing over his decision to try to talk with her but he felt they needed to clear the air, get a fresh start when she was discharged.

Moments later another physician appeared.

"I'm Dr. Roberts. Dr. Langston has been filling me in on Ms. Grissom's condition in case he was not able to be here. He wanted someone knowledgeable about her condition on staff at all times."

"I was talking with her and… she couldn't breathe. I thought it was another seizure."

"Did she give any indication that she was distressed before the incident?"

"I wanted to explain…some things to her…about what happened," he said feeling remorseful.

"Mr. Grissom, your wife is having difficulty dealing with her abduction. It would be best not to discuss it until her counselor okays it. The stress can bring on the seizures. This was a panic attack….which could have brought on another seizure. The nurses have given her something to help her relax. I'll contact Dr. Langston and let him know what happened."

Grissom nodded.

He was sitting on her bed when she woke.

His hand reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear while he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Stop scaring me," he gulped as he pulled her into his arms.

He held her body against his for several minutes before slowly releasing her.

The next day she was told her release date been delayed because of the incident.

Langston and Dr. Franklin watched as she threw the covers over to the side and pushed her injured leg to the side of the bed.

Grissom grabbed her housecoat, thinking she needed to go to the bathroom.

She snatched it out of his hands, putting it around her body haphazardly as she pushed herself off onto the floor.

Grissom reached to assist her but her hand went up in defense.

Dr. Franklin glanced at Langston.

"Sara, I just wanted to help you," Grissom offered.

She hobbled forward, restricting her weight on her leg and opened the door.

"You want to walk?" asked Grissom.

She tossed her head at Dr. Franklin and Langston and hobbled out of the room.

"Oh Christ," muttered Grissom.

"Exercise is good for her," commented Langston.

"She's going to exercise herself right out the door. I've seen that look before," explained Grissom.

"She can't leave," complained Dr. Franklin.

"Sara….Sara!" called Grissom as he went after her.

She made it to the elevator, going slow since she was sock footed and did not want to slip and reinjure her knee.

Grissom grabbed her by both arms. "I get it," he whispered. "You want to leave. Sara, they're doing this as a precaution. We're concerned."

Langston rushed forward. "Sara, give it three more days," he offered. "If there are no seizures then…"

She pushed the elevator button.

"Two days," countered Grissom.

Langston glanced between the two. "Two days," agreed Langston.

The elevator opened and she tried to step inside but both of them pulled her back.

"I guess she didn't like our compromise," said Langston.

"One day, Sara," stated Grissom.

She looked at Langston. "You drive a hard bargain," he frowned. "Dr. Franklin isn't going to like it."

Sara rolled her eyes and Langston chuckled. "I'll handle it."

Later that evening Grissom brought up the farmhouse.

He knew he would need to go to the farmhouse and get it ready but he wasn't sure how Sara would react.

He waited until she had thoroughly picked over her dinner before broaching the subject of living arrangements.

"Sara, I put the townhouse up for sale today," he stated.

He glanced at her and was surprised when she seemed a bit upset.

"I uhm I don't want to live there anymore," he explained thinking she might be upset that he was selling his home because of her inability to live there.

"I'll store everything until you have time to go through it," he added. "I think there is still room in your storage space."

"I uhm thought that a change in scenery would be good."

"I've wanted to move out of the Vegas glitz."

He looked up to see how she was faring with the news, thinking she would be excited.

Her reaction was the opposite.

She looked liked a small child who'd just been told she was moving away from the only place she'd known as home.

"Sara…we've been married for almost a year and for most of that time we've lived apart."

Her body tensed at the words.

He gripped her hand, trying to get her to look at him but her eyes drifted to the window, a dull stare emerged.

"Dr. Franklin wants to know where…you plan to live. She said you weren't sure where you were going to live once you're released," he began cautiously.

"I own this farm house…remember the one I told you my mother left me?"

Fear crept into her eyes at the mention of the farm house.

"I never made it into a body farm," he emphasized. "There are no bodies…I promise."

"It would need some repairs…but I could get it livable."

She tried to think of her options but her brain was too muddled.

He was offering a roof over her head.

He saw the hesitation and wondered if she were going to refuse.

Just this moment, he was glad she was unable to verbally object.

"It's settled. As soon as you're released, I'll move you to the farm house."

She shifted in the bed, feeling a bit sick to her stomach as she contemplated objecting.

She opened her mouth but could not utter a single word.

She closed her mouth in defeat.

Until she was better, she would have to rely on Grissom, giving him full control.

She felt her head nod up and down.

Instead of the acceptance he sought, he saw resignation.

Regardless, he seemed a bit relieved by her decision.

"It might take me a few weeks to get things in order at the farmhouse but it will be alright. You'll see."

The next morning he woke to find that she was already awake.

He'd fallen asleep rather early.

It seemed odd that despite their predicament, he'd slept better by her bedside than he had since she left him.

It looked as though she had slept little.

"I need to check on the farmhouse and get it ready. I'm not sure what kind of condition it may be in," he offered.

Her eyes were like saucers at the implication that he was going to leave her.

"I'll only be gone a few hours," he explained.

"Nick is going to come by and visit," he added.

Her eyes merely blinked and then looked away.

Her behavior was frustrating.

It wasn't that he wanted to be away from her but it needed to be done and she was making it difficult.

"Sara, I have to do this," he explained for the third time.

She motioned for him to leave and he leaned over kissing her lightly on the forehead.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he said.

She nodded.

He was surprised when she grabbed the notepad and scribbled something on it.

"_Be careful."_

He sat down hard on the bed.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," he assured her.

She nodded, not able to explain the fear that engulfed her when he started to leave.

She knew she was being irrational and had no reason to believe otherwise but her fear was very much real and almost debilitating.

She was angry for the strange emotions.

Dr. Franklin had explained it was part of the brain damage as well as the trauma from being left for dead a second time.

Each time he slipped out of sight, she felt the twinge of fear envelope her.

Sara had always associated safety with Grissom.

Now, she didn't feel safe unless he was in sight.

She glanced toward the door when there was a tap.

Nick smiled. "Hey darling, mind if I keep you company for awhile?"

Grissom waited for her to protest but she turned toward the window, not wanting to see his disappointment at her behavior.

Nick glanced at Grissom.

"Call me, if you need me," whispered Grissom.

He stepped out of the room but lingered by the door.

"Sara…what's wrong?" asked Nick.

She took a gulp of air and then grabbed him into her arms.

"He's coming back," Nick soothed as he rubbed her back.

"Did someone…upset you?" he asked, thinking that Grissom had done something.

She grabbed her notepad.

_Nicky,_

_Please tell me…what happened._

Nick gulped. "I don't think they want you to discuss this…with anyone."

She grabbed his hand holding it tight as she scribbled out. _"You understand….you went through…what I did. Please…tell me…from the beginning."_

Nick glanced around. "Okay…"

Her memory was sketchy about the hours leading up to her being found in the wooden coffin.

She remembered being shot, as well as vague images of Darren tossing her body into the coffin.

Her head ached at the recollection.

_He was talking…_

_Saying something…_

_It was garbled because I hit my head…_

_Then I woke to darkness…_

_My own personal Hell…_

The feel of Nick's slight tug on her hand brought her back to the present.

She knew he was avoiding some things.

He skirted around anything he felt would upset her.

He especially avoided mentioning the emails but as he spoke about Heather catching sight of Darren escorting her to the car, she remembered.

_He finally responded…_

_Darren let me send a goodbye…_

Tears slipped down her cheeks remembering the content of Grissom's email.

"Sara…I didn't mean to upset you," whispered Nick.

She squeezed his hand, shaking her head in protest.

"The whole time we were waiting for a break in your case, I kept thinking about when I had been buried alive."

Nick sat down on the edge of the bed. "I seriously thought…about pulling the trigger…so I shot out the light in order to remove the temptation."

She swallowed.

"I knew you weren't like that. I knew you would fight to stay alive."

She shook her head, grabbing the notepad.

"_He said there was enough oxygen for days…so I…kicked…screamed…clawed…trying to use up the oxygen. I didn't want to linger…to lie there and wait for death."_

Nick swiped at his eyes. "We found you, honey. We found you."

"_Sometimes….I still feel like…I'm still trapped," _wrote Sara as she wept.

"It will take time," he assured her.

"_Do you still dream…of being buried?"_

"Not really," he lied.

Note from author:

Sorry for late posting. I just got home and so all mistakes are doubly mine since I didn't get to proofread it. LOL.

Take care!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

Grissom didn't know what he would find when he pulled up to the farmhouse.

He'd not been there in years.

He took his mother to visit the farmhouse and she'd actually spent some summers there while he worked in Vegas.

The house needed a thoroughly cleaning but everything seemed to be in working order.

The grounds had been kept up and he was glad he kept a gardener on hand.

He'd already spoken with a moving company and planned to have some of the furniture delivered.

In the meantime, they would just use the existing furniture.

He wasn't sure about the full size bed and decided to have new mattresses delivered.

There was a barn outback and he envisioned using it as a place for experiments.

He spent several hours cleaning the house, removing several years of dust and neglect but by the end of the day, he was far from finished.

By the time he made it back to the hospital, it was fairly late.

He halted when he saw Heather out in the hallway.

She turned and smiled.

"I was hoping I would run into you," she smiled.

"I've been busy…cleaning," he explained.

She eyed him. "Yes, I can tell."

She pretended there was a smudge on his cheek and wiped it away while caressing his cheek.

He stepped back instantly not liking the feel of her hand on his cheek.

"Dirt," she explained. "I imagine the townhouse has been neglected for some time."

"No…I'm…renovating the old farmhouse," he stated.

Her eyes studied him and he felt uncomfortable.

She seemed to know when something bothered him.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Heather…."

"I won't keep you. I just wanted to see…you," she explained.

He felt guilty for being so cool, not sure why he felt he needed to distance himself from her.

She started to pass, brushing her shoulder against his, rejection obvious in her eyes.

Few understood Heather.

There were few he considered friends but over the years Heather had become one.

Each seemed to need the support and now he was being quite cold to someone who had helped when he was in a very dark place.

He pulled Heather into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She smiled, lingering there as long as she could.

It was then Grissom looked across the hall.

Sara and Nick stood there.

Sara's eyes turned away quickly as she made a dash for the room.

Grissom moaned.

"What's wrong?" asked Heather.

"Sara…saw us. She won't understand."

Heather stepped back. "Gil, she never understood you…I do."

"I need to get back to Sara. She needs me," he said.

"I understand. I wouldn't expect anything less from you….but Gil when she's better, I'll still be here…waiting."

Heather fled before he could reply, skirting around the others with condemning eyes.

He gritted his teeth when Brass made his way to his side, and he knew it was not going to be pleasant.

He was too tired to argue or fight.

"You see what I mean? She seems to be in the thick of things when you and Sara are having trouble."

"We're not having trouble," griped Grissom.

"Really? So you think it's okay to have her slinky hands on you while your wife watches? Let me answer that for you. Hell no! Sara is upset. Nick is trying to calm her down. I suggest you get your ass in there and explain what the hell that was all about. Oh, and for the record there sure as hell wasn't any damn dirt on your face…are you getting the picture? She wants you…you stupid bastard."

Grissom stood in the doorway as he listened to their conversation.

"I'll hit him if you want me to," Nick offered.

Sara sniffled.

Nick caressed her back. "She doesn't deserve your tears honey. Don't let her get to you."

Grissom stepped into the room. "Nick, I'd like to talk with Sara."

Nick glared at him. "I'd like to talk with you!"

Sara clutched Nick's hand and then shook her head.

Nick leaned down and whispered. "I promise I won't hit him," he said but then added, "unless he deserves it."

She actually smiled at Nick and he hugged her.

Nick blocked Grissom from entering the room.

"Outside," he ordered.

Grissom stepped into the hallway.

Nick shut the door forcing Grissom away from the doorway so Sara could not overhear the conversation.

"None of us said anything when we found out that you actually moved in with that…her," he began trying not to explode his entire anger out on Grissom but his feelings about Grissom's relationship with Heather was obvious. He didn't like it. "Not even Warrick liked the woman and he would be the first to tell you that you've screwed up the one thing that you've done right and that's marrying Sara."

"I know that Nicky. I'm…sorry that happened…I'm sorry she had to see it. I had no idea Heather was here."

"That may be true but you sure as hell didn't need your hands all over her," griped Nick.

Both stepped back trying to calm down.

Grissom started toward Sara's room and then halted. "Sometimes appearances can be deceiving. I had to learn that the hard way."

He didn't wait for a reply but stepped into the room shutting the door.

She sniffled as she stared out the window.

"I'm sorry…we upset you," he whispered. "I didn't mean…to hurt you."

He moved to take her hand but she snatched it away.

It hurt that she wouldn't let him hold her hand but then he'd just got caught holding someone in his arms.

The moment he saw the anguish on Sara's face he regretted doing it but the damage was done and he needed to take her mind off it.

"The farmhouse only needs a little repair," he began. "There's a fenced in back yard for Bruno but…there're not many neighbors around so he can probably run free."

The solitude sounded nice but then darkness would come and she wasn't sure how she would handle the after effects of the abduction, already closed- in areas made her nervous.

Just the thought of getting onto the elevator bothered her but if it meant a way out of the hospital then she was willing to chance it.

Memories of those hours in the coffin began to surface.

Nick had talked about his ordeal and she felt a kindred spirit with him.

He knew firsthand how it felt to feel completely helpless, to anguish over when the air supply would stop and then suffocation took over.

She remembered hearing Warrick's voice and then sitting next to him when he tried to convince her to return to her body.

It had felt so real but she rationalized it as loss of oxygen, the need to connect with someone you were close to.

She and Warrick had become close friends.

"Sara?"

Grissom's voice snapped her back and she glanced at him.

"It's going to be alright," he soothed.

_It's never going to be alright…_

_I'm never going to feel safe again…_

He felt nervous as he drove toward the farmhouse with Sara.

She had seemed withdrawn, not wanting to interact with anyone.

It had taken mounds of paperwork and a few choice words to get her released the next day.

She didn't seem excited about leaving as she had before and he wondered if it was too soon but there really wasn't anything further they could do for her.

She had not had another seizure and Langston felt with the current medication, she wouldn't.

Grissom agreed to bring her to counseling.

As soon as they were in their vehicle, he knew he had a fight on his hands.

"Sara, if I didn't agree then it's likely they would have tried to keep you longer."

She flipped him off and he smiled sadly. "I hope that was for Dr. Franklin and not me."

He found himself over talking trying to ease the tension that oozed from her.

She seemed apprehensive about going to a new place.

She stared out the window the entire time noting the lack of houses in the area.

"There won't be many neighbors," he emphasized. "It sort of rural…it would have made a great place for a body farm."

He scowled at his remark.

_The last thing she wants to talk about is dead bodies…_

He'd managed to clear out most of the junk himself but he finally drove into town and hired a cleaning service needing to return to the hospital.

He was eager to see her reaction as he drove up.

He raced around the car and opened her car door.

She got out, reluctant to use the crutches.

She stepped inside and actually liked the place.

It was very old but it had a nice charm to it.

The furniture was well outdated and there was a strong urge to toss most of it but it would have to do until she could afford to replace it.

There were two bedrooms downstairs along with a huge living room and study.

There was also a kitchen and dining room.

She glanced up the stairs.

"There are five bedrooms…two on the main floor," he stated. "It's pretty dirty upstairs but it doesn't matter for now. It can be cleaned later. The important thing is to get the downstairs in order."

He was right.

She wasn't in a hurry to be climbing stairs.

Her knee ached from her attempts to show them she could manage on her own and she overdid it in therapy the day before.

"The kitchen is already stocked," he said opening the fridge to show a wide variety of choices.

She hobbled into one of the bedrooms.

"Do you like this one?" he asked.

She glanced around. The room contained a large four poster bed along with matching dresser and chest. The quilts were old but freshly washed.

"My mother used to stay in this room," he explained.

She stepped into the other room and noticed that the study was across the hall.

There was a full size bed along with a rocker in the corner of the room.

"The previous family used this room," he said. "The room across the hall was the nursery and then…later turned into a study."

The study was handy.

There would be no need for a nursery.

Her eyes glanced at him as he stared at the study as if deep in thought.

The kitchen was practical.

There was no dishwasher but then she rarely had dirty dishes, choosing to eat out most of the time.

Of course, there were very few eateries in the area.

The dining room was big but very much empty.

"I uhm let them stage a crime scene here…the table sort of got…I threw it out," he explained.

She didn't own any furniture to fit in the dining room and so she guessed it would remain empty.

"How do you like it?" he asked.

She nodded.

It was a house with a good roof.

At least she would find out when it rained.

"Pick a room," he offered.

She looked confused.

"Which room do you want to use?" he asked.

She thought he might like to have the room his mother used but then perhaps it would seem odd using a feminine room.

She shrugged her shoulders, letting him make the choice.

"This room…if you don't mind," he said setting her suitcase in the room across from the study.

_So he chose his mother's room for himself…_

She patted the bed.

"New mattresses," he announced. "Both beds have new mattresses," he emphasized, his nervousness obvious.

_He's getting you settled, Sara…_

_He'll make sure everything is in order and then…_

Note from author:

I guess we'll have to wait and see if Sara is right...

Take care!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

Grissom followed her trying to assess her reaction to the farm house.

He knew there was still a lot of work left to do but he felt she would like living away from the harsh lights of Vegas where everything seemed fake.

Her facial expressions gave little hint as she went from room to room.

He fumbled over his words as he tried to express himself to her without grabbing her into his arms which was something he had wanted to do the moment they finally arrived.

He'd dreamed of living in a place like this, raising a family and doing research.

As the years passed and he grew older, he let go of his dream of a family but there was still the thought that some day he would retire to the farm.

It was the reason he allowed a local farmer to use part of the land in exchange for keeping up the house and barn.

The house was old but it was in good condition.

True, the inside had been neglected but nothing that a good scrubbing wouldn't fix.

There was plenty of life still left in the farm.

At least part of his dream was obtainable.

After he married Sara, he was going to reconsider the entire dream but then Natalie took that away from him.

Sara fled and he remained in the townhouse, not bearing to leave the last place she had ever called home.

He watched as her fingers traced the carvings on the stairwell, her eyes roaming to the top of the banister.

"It's a mess upstairs," he warned.

Her knee hurt and she hated the crutch, already wanting to toss it away but he kept retrieving it for her.

She appeared quite fragile as she moved from room to room, not sure of her surroundings.

She glanced through the windows a few times, not sure what to make of the privacy.

He wasn't sure himself, afraid she would not like it.

He didn't know what to think when she did not want to choose a bedroom.

_Does she hate both of them?_

_Does she prefer to have a room of her own?_

_Does she think that I want to spend another night without her by my side? _

It had been such a long time since he'd been with her and he couldn't think of anything else.

Each kiss was excruciating, not sure whether she was giving in because she felt trapped or that she wanted it as much as he did.

His body reacted to every touch and already he felt an instant erection at the thought of having her in his bed that night.

"I'll let you rest for awhile," he said as he went to the back of the house, not wanting to embarrass himself acting like some nerdish teenage boy being left alone with a girl for the first time.

_She's still recovering…_

_She can't even voice what she wants…_

_But if she could…_

_Would she still want me?_

She hobbled over to watch him sit down on the back porch.

There was a small patch in the back yard where a flower garden used to be. A few were still there but the rest was covered in weeds.

The place had a lot of potential but Sara knew that she would have to find a job soon.

There would be utilities and food to buy.

She wasn't going to ask Grissom or expect him to support her.

She felt weary at that moment.

It had been a long stressful day.

She hobbled back to the bedroom and stretched out, relieving her aching muscles.

Her eyes shifted toward the study across the room.

She imagined what it would have been like to be young and married with a newborn across the hall.

She would have been able to hear the baby immediately, walking across the hall into the baby's room and then stepping into the kitchen for a bottle.

The bathroom was off to the left so there would have been opportunity to soak in the tub while the baby slept.

She sighed.

Grissom had decided years ago that a baby was not in their plans.

Grissom was much older than she and he did not want to start a family so late in life, voicing his desire to remain a couple.

Despite her harsh upbringing, Sara had longed for a family.

Her need and desire never went away leaving a void.

As the years slipped by, she regretted her choice, thinking of what a child would have meant to them, to her especially.

Her eyes drifted shut.

Hours later she woke to the sound of soft music.

She hobbled into the living room to find Grissom hanging drapes.

"Did the music wake you?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Dinner is almost ready," he announced.

She turned and hobbled to the kitchen.

"Sara…the crutch," he scolded softly.

He pulled out a chair and waited until she sat down.

He set the small table in the kitchen and poured a glass of wine.

He then set a glass of grape juice in front of her.

"Sorry…but you can't drink…with your medication," he explained.

He took a sip of wine and then turned his back to check the meal.

She swallowed some of the grape juice.

It tasted bitter but then again wine usually tasted that way to her so it didn't matter.

Despite the nap, she was tired.

He dispensed her medicine and she took it.

She knew the pain medication was most likely the culprit for the drowsiness.

It was already dark outside and thus there was no way to explore her surroundings.

She offered to help with dishes but he refused.

She backed away when he pulled out the Scrabble game.

"Let's play a game," he offered.

She licked her lips and then shook her head.

He frowned, putting the game away but then brought out a Sudoku book tossing it towards her.

"You used to finish several puzzles before I could finish my crossword puzzle," he said with a grin.

He sat down while she stood there, her fingers fumbling with the book.

She slid the book back to him.

"Okay…you take the crossword puzzle and I'll…."

She tried to slip out of the room but he caught her. "Try some Sudoku," he urged.

_I'm not falling for this, Grissom._

_You want to see if I'm still smart…_

She was tempted but then the fear was too great and she refused.

He sighed letting her escape.

She found the bathroom and took a shower.

The wound was healing nicely but she kept it bandaged to hide the hideous scar.

She slipped back into the bed and faced the window.

There was little she could make out, except the branches of a tree nearby.

The wind had picked up and she wondered if rain was in the forecast.

"_There's a pain in my sawdust."_

She rose immediately, her heart beating wildly as she listened for any sound within the house but there was none.

She didn't know if she had fallen asleep or how much time had lapsed since she retreated to the bedroom.

The stillness in the house frightened her.

A gush of wind caused the branches to strike against the house.

_It was windy the night Natalie…_

_He's left already…_

She started to get out of bed but then a hand reached out and pushed her back down.

"It's just the wind, Sara," Grissom whispered.

Her eyes widened and she could finally make out the shape of his body lying on the other side of the bed.

She was surprised he was there in her room.

His hand caressed her cheek. "You'll get used to the silence," he yawned. "In the morning I'll show you around. Once you get settled then…I can…" his voice trailed off as he reached for his phone.

"Grissom."

He rose from the bed, stepping out of the room.

Even with him in the living room, she could still hear his voice, the walls thin.

"I'm fine. I'm getting her settled. It may be a week or so before she gets used to being here. I can't leave her alone. I know I didn't plan this…I'll have a decision soon."

He didn't return for quite some time. She heard footsteps toward the kitchen followed by the shutting of the back porch screen door.

His phone rang once more and he answered it.

"No…you didn't wake me. I was just about to turn in," he stated.

"How is she?" asked Heather.

"Fine."

"Gil…I know this must be excruciating for you…to have her so close and yet not be able to have her…." She purposely stopped and then drove her point right into his gut. "To have sex with her would be like having sex with…a child…especially since you're not sure just how extensive the brain damage is…it's a pity she refuses to cooperate with any testing…"

"Heather, I'm really tired. Good night."

"I'm sorry Gil. This was inconsiderate of me. Get some rest. Let me know if there is anything I can do. I don't mind running errands for you…just let me know."

Sara slipped out of bed and grabbed her housecoat to cover the thin gown.

He turned and saw her silhouette.

"There's a nice cool breeze this evening," he whispered. "The stars seem so much clearer out here than in Vegas."

His voice was odd, almost shaky.

She hobbled over and sat down on the porch.

The stars did look brighter.

He glanced over at her as she stared up into the nighttime sky.

The wind blew through the branches.

"I'm sorry…for the phone call."

_Was it Heather?_

She took a deep breath, frustrated that she could not communicate with him.

"Sara…have you tried to talk?" he asked. "Your counselor says you refuse to participate in speech therapy."

What did he expect her to say?

She looked at him and then nodded, hoping he would understand that she had tried.

She had tried until she had thrown things in a sort of tantrum.

Sara had always been able to express herself.

It had been Grissom who was at a loss with words.

Now, he seemed to talk even when she wished he would remain quiet and enjoy the peacefulness of the place.

"You need to communicate," he began. "If you won't…can't talk then…perhaps…sign language."

Sara's brain stuck on the word "won't" and she pulled herself up, hobbling back toward the door.

His hand grabbed hers.

"You refuse…to let them assess…the brain damage. How can we know…"

She jerked her hand from his.

_Are you feeling guilty for leaving me?_

_Does your Catholic upbringing frown on men who abandon their wives when they've been damaged and can't be fixed?_

_Are you just afraid as me that I'm not…as smart as you anymore?_

"Night," he said dejectedly.

She headed toward the bedroom but noticed a stack of books.

She grabbed a Sudoku book and tucked it underneath the mattress.

An hour later he joined her in the bed.

Ecklie was now calling practically every day, needing to know if he intended to return to the lab.

He'd managed to put him off citing the need to be with Sara but he knew that sooner or later he would have to decide.

At the moment, the lab was the last thing on his mind, his thoughts too filled with Sara.

He worried about the brain damage and how Sara would cope with her disability.

He was so grateful she was alive.

He felt they had wasted so much time in the last two years.

He scooted over taking more than his share of the bed.

She inched until she was teetering on the edge.

One more inch she would surely slip into the floor.

Strong arms reached over and pulled her into the middle of the bed.

"Sara…be still," he said irritably as if he were correcting a child.

It was her bed.

He'd given her the room when she gave him the choice.

He'd put her things into the room.

_Does he think that I'm not capable of sleeping alone?_

And then it hit her.

He'd chosen the room for them.

She turned to face him, noticing how he was already fast asleep even though it wasn't restful.

Slowly she inched toward him until she curled into his arms, letting her head rest on his chest like she'd done a thousand times before but this time it was different.

She felt as though she was borrowing him.

Note from author:

Ouch...sad for Sara...but now we know where Grissom's heart is...now if we could just get rid of Heather...LOL. Some of you have some very funny ideas of how to get rid of her. Thanks to each of you who have been so kind to leave a review for each chapter. It means alot...it also determines my future postings.

Take care!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

Sara threw the sign book nearly hitting him.

It angered him. "You have to communicate…you have to be able…Sara, pride…"

She flipped him off, grabbing the notepad and scribbling a note.

"_You think I don't want to talk?" _

She tossed the notepad at him as she stalked off the front porch without the crutch.

He caught up with her and shoved it back under her arm.

"It's this or sit on the front porch," he ordered.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she wasn't going to be treated like some child but then her tantrum had been childish.

She was taking her frustration out on Grissom.

She yanked it from him and headed toward the barn.

He followed at a distance, letting her take the lead.

The barn had seen better days but it was still sturdy.

There were fresh bales of hay in the loft as well as outback.

"The gardener used the barn to store his hay. This is the last of it for the year," he explained.

There were several empty stalls.

Something ran from the stall to the next.

Sara looked through the cracks and smiled when she saw a kitten.

"We needed something to get rid of the mice," he said.

She glanced at him before stepping into the stall but the small kitten scurried away.

"It's feral. The others were caught and taken away but this one hid so I told the gardener it could stay…to get rid of the mice."

Her stance told him he should have kept quiet about the kittens.

Her eyes said what she was thinking.

"The gardener took them before I knew it…I think they were taken to the shelter…I'm not sure."

It saddened her to think the kitten had been left behind but more than likely the other kittens would be put to sleep because they were feral and were not adoptable.

She looked at him once more, getting frustrated that she couldn't ask him about the mother.

"Sara…I don't know what you…the mother? You want to know about the mother? She was taken as well."

Her shoulders slumped as she leaned over and looked into the stall.

The yellow striped kitten peered out from behind a bucket.

"Maybe…you could tame him," he whispered.

She shrugged her shoulders as she felt him step closer.

The heat of his body sent chills down her spine.

"He...would need a name," he said. "Maybe…Leo…for Leo the lion. He looks sort of like a lion."

Sara frowned and shook her head.

"You don't like my name?" he teased. "Okay…you name him."

_Why? I couldn't call him…_

She pushed off from the stall and headed back to the house, hobbling as fast as she could go.

"There's a creek…out back," he said, not sure why she decided to return to the house.

He slowed down when his phone went off.

He frowned when he saw that it was Heather and chose to ignore it.

By the time he made it to the front porch, she was already inside but no sooner had he opened the door, she was there with keys in her hand pointing to the car.

"Sara you can't drive…your medication restricts you…because of the seizures," he explained.

She grabbed the notepad and scribbled a note.

"_Shelter…please."_

"Okay."

The ride into town was disappointing.

The shelter was overrun with cats and dogs.

The mother cat and kittens had already been euthanized.

She slammed her car door as she folded her arms about her chest.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Since we're here…we could get something to eat at the café."

She wasn't in the mood to sit among strangers especially since she couldn't speak for herself but her stomach growled.

She'd skipped breakfast.

There was no way to protest as he drove them there, opening her car door once they arrived.

She hobbled inside without the crutch as he lectured but it didn't matter.

She was too depressed about the kitten to bother listening to his rant.

Once they were seated, he ordered drinks.

He scanned the menu looking for vegetarian food and could only find a salad.

"Salad?" he questioned.

She nodded as she sipped on the tea.

Two men sat on the other side of them.

One smiled at Sara but she turned her head not wanting the attention.

"I haven't seen you in town," Jeff said. "Just moved here?" he asked Sara.

"Yes," answered Grissom. "My wife and I…"

"I didn't see a ring on her finger," snickered the man. "Besides, are you afraid to let her speak for herself?"

Grissom glanced at Sara's hand, not bothering with Jeff's question.

The ring was not in Sara's personal belongings at the hospital.

Grissom had questioned the nurses, filing a complaint when it did not turn up.

Sara shoved her hands into her lap.

"I'm sorry your ring was lost," he said softly.

She sighed in frustration.

_Where is yours?_

_You haven't said a word about yours!_

_This is so damn frustrating…_

Grissom took a drink of tea.

The waitress appeared and Grissom rattled off their choices.

"Do you want light or regular ranch dressing?" the waitress asked Sara.

"She likes light," stated Grissom.

"Why don't you let the little lady speak for herself," stated Jeff.

Grissom glanced at the man. "Why don't you let us eat lunch in peace?"

"Hey if you're some control freak who likes to tie his woman to the bed and…"

The manager stepped forward. "Jeff, why don't you leave the couple alone?"

Jeff took a sip of beer. "It aint right the way he talks for her. Can't she say anything herself?"

Sara stiffened but Grissom's hand landed on her knee under the table, fearing she was about to bolt from the table.

It was none of their damn business and it irritated Grissom but he honestly replied, "No."

The man stared at Sara.

Her eyes dropped to the table as she reached for her drink.

Grissom pulled out his wallet, preparing to pay for the drinks and then escort her out when the Jeff muttered, "Oh…retard."

Sara's glass of tea landed in the guy's face before Grissom could stop her.

He grabbed her by the waist as she lunged at the man.

The manager interceded and forced Jeff to remain seated as he yelled out expletives.

Grissom practically carried her out of the door but she shot the man the middle finger causing the other patrons to chuckle.

Grissom shoved her into the car and shut the door quickly.

He got behind the wheel and drove away.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" he snapped.

He glared at her but softened when he caught sight of her pained expression.

Her hands held her injured knee.

"Sara…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I forgot…about the knee," he said as he reached over but she shoved his hand away.

She was livid at the man's treatment but was angrier that Grissom just wanted to retreat, not caring to remain at the café letting Jeff get the upper hand.

She wasn't going to leave on account of the name calling.

She'd been called worse.

She smiled when Jeff sputtered as the cold iced tea landed in his face.

As soon as they got home, he raced around to her side of the car but she was already out, hobbling toward the front door.

He tried to help but became angry when she shoved his hands away.

"Sara let me help you," he muttered. "If you don't use the crutch then you're only going to…"

Both stopped as they saw Heather walk out of the front door.

"I tried to call…I brought Bruno," she explained.

Grissom's jaw twitched.

Grissom took hold of Sara's elbow.

Heather smiled innocently at Sara as she slowly made her way to the porch.

Heather quickly handed her the crutch that had been left on the porch.

"You should really use this…if you want to heal," she purred.

Sara snatched it from Heather's grip.

"I put Bruno in the back yard. I didn't want him to knock over Sara. He seems to forget his training…when he's around her."

"Thank you, Heather," stated Grissom.

Sara started inside as Heather turned toward her, whispering for her ears only. "I know it must be hard…being mentally limited…but then you never were…as bright as us."

Sara bristled as she swung open the door. "Let me help," offered Heather in a louder voice.

She attempted to hold the door but Sara yanked it out of her hand.

"I'm sorry Sara. I was only trying to help," Heather pouted.

Sara glanced back at Grissom, hurt that he glared at her.

Sara hobbled inside, heading straight for the bedroom.

The door slammed with a thud.

"I don't know what I did to upset her. I thought bringing Bruno would…"

Grissom held up his hand. "It's not your fault. There were some guys in town…one of them…called Sara a retard."

Heather smiled inwardly.

"That must have hurt." Heather said, glad that Grissom had not overheard the snide remark.

"She…strikes out in anger. I'm not sure how to help her," he admitted.

Heather licked her lips, "Gil…I've been doing some research and there is this place…where Sara can go…it handles brain injury patients."

"No," he said sternly.

"You're not qualified to help her. If you really want to see her functioning as normal as possible then…"

"You make it sound as though she's mentally incapable of caring for herself," he grumbled.

"She doesn't care to use the crutch when clearly it would help her leg. She refuses treatment that would increase her chances at communication and avoids counseling which would deal with her emotional outbursts. Gil, she's not mentally capable of caring for herself."

He raked his hand through his hair.

He sighed. "Sara…just needs time."

"Gil, do you have time…to give her?"

"Yes, I do!"

Heather was quiet. "Sometimes we fight…to save what is already lost."

"Sara is not lost! She is here…she just can't speak!"

"I was referring to your marriage."

Heather stood. "Weeks ago you felt your marriage was over. You went so far as to use my attorney to draw up divorce papers. The only reason you've not approached her with them is because of her condition. How long do…you wait?"

"As long as it takes…for me to be sure that it's over," he whispered.

"It's over….once she finds out…about us…then it will be over," she whispered.

"She doesn't…need to know," he pleaded.

Heather leaned forward, her breath on his neck. "Already you seem just as stressed as you were that day you came to…me. You came to me because Sara was half way around the world when you were trying to cope with the death of your worker and…friend. I know how much Warrick meant to you. She should have also. She was selfish to leave at a time like that."

There was a crash and he rushed inside the house.

He stepped into the bedroom and stopped.

She sat on the edge of the bed with the sign language book, sifting through the pages.

A broken glass lay near the door.

"That wasn't very nice," he gritted. "You've got to control your temper," he warned. "Heather was only trying to help."

Red rimmed eyes glared at him.

His features softened when he realized she had been crying.

"Sara, I know you get frustrated when you can't speak but lashing out at others is not appropriate."

_Don't scold me like some child…._

_Like some retard…_

She continued to search through the book, her fingers flying through each page.

"What…are you trying to say?" he asked softly.

She reached for the notepad but screeched when the pencil tip broke.

"Sara…just calm down and…"

"B….Bi….Bitch!" she yelled.

His eyes widened and she took off before he could reprimand her for it.

He stood there shocked that she had uttered a word.

He chuckled to himself but then realized she had fled.

He walked out onto the front porch to catch her hobbling toward the barn.

Heather leaned against the railing.

He frowned when he noticed Heather was still there.

"She took off toward the barn…no doubt you'll want to chase after her….again."

He didn't bother responding to Heather's jab as he walked toward the barn.

He stepped into the barn and halted when he heard her quiet sobs.

Her fist beat into the hay as she had a full blown melt down.

He remembered when his mother had initially lost her hearing.

She'd often retreat and his father would have to soothe her outburst.

The kitten appeared, scampering toward Sara.

It timidly ran over to her and sat near her head.

Sara looked up and saw the kitten, reaching out to pet it.

Gently she scooted it into her arms, petting it a few times and then released it.

It ran the moment it caught sight of Grissom.

"There are no curse words in that book," he said softly.

She turned her face away from him as she lay there in the hay.

He walked over and sat down beside her.

His hand went to stroke her hair but she smacked it away.

"Taking out your anger on me…isn't going to help," he stiffened.

She started to get up but he held her down.

"Enough of the tantrums," he said as he pinned her arms down. "I want to talk with you….and you're going to listen."

She bucked trying to throw him off but it was futile.

"Sara, stop it!"

He knew he'd gotten too close, his body already reacting to hers.

Without thought, he leaned down, forcing her mouth to open and felt her body begin to relax as he continued to kiss her.

His body stretched out over hers as he released one hand so that he could slip his hand under her blouse.

It had been far too long since he'd felt her like this and he groaned from the effects.

He wanted inside her more than anything and yet he pulled back, not sure if she wanted the same thing.

A bit of truth rang in Heather's words.

_Sometimes her actions are childlike…_

He refused to give into his body's cravings as he slid off her and lay back on the hay.

The last thing he wanted was to force his needs on her.

He needed her to initiate the lovemaking.

Her breaths came in gasps as she tried to recover.

She had wanted him to continue but it was obvious he didn't desire her anymore.

His actions just added salt to a festering wound.

She crawled away from him as she finally got to her feet and he sighed, watching her scurry away like the frightened kitten.

He lay there needing the space and distance between them.

He groaned knowing that it would be awhile before he could get his body to cooperate.

Sara hurried toward the house.

She had no intentions of remaining there any longer even if she had to walk.

She went to the walk- in closet in the back of the house to retrieve her suitcase.

She would pack enough for a few days and try to come back for the rest at another time.

She stepped into the closet and heard the click of the door behind her.

A cold shiver ran down Sara's back as she stood there in almost total darkness.

Heather smiled as she hurried out of the house, getting into her car.

_Let's see how little Miss Sara likes being locked up…_

_Again….._

Note from author:

How did you like Sara's first word? LOL I thought it was appropriate for Heather…. Warning I am having problems with computer and may have to delay posting if it crashes.

Take care!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

The closet was pitched black.

She tried the door handle but it had locked from the outside.

She heard footsteps outside the door and then a soft laugh.

She recognized it as Heather's.

She banged on the door but then began to panic when it wouldn't budge.

An hour passed when he finally decided she'd had enough time to herself.

He'd just stepped onto the front porch when he heard her.

He raced to the closet, trying to open it but the knob was stripped.

He cursed.

It was one of the things on his list to fix but he had not felt it was a priority.

It became an emergency as he tried to calm her while trying to remove the door handle.

"Sara, I'm here," he soothed. "I'll have you out in a minute."

It was as if she didn't hear him, her fists beat on the door as she sobbed uncontrollably.

_Christ, she thinks she's in that damn coffin again…_

He cursed over and over when the handle would not budge.

Suddenly he heard cries become words as she cried out his name over and over.

"I'm right here Sara," he choked as he frantically tugged on the door knob, joyful that it finally gave and he opened the door.

She stood there, her fists bloodied as she called out his name over and over.

His hand grasped her face, "I'm right here Sara. I'm right here," he soothed.

He pulled her into his arms but she continued to cry out his name as she sobbed.

His hands grasped her face. "Honey, look at me! It's me…Gil," he agonized.

"G..i..l…g..one…G...i..l," she cried.

He held her tight as he tried to soothe her. "Sara, I'm here," he emphasized.

His lips kissed every inch of her face. "I'm sorry. I've been meaning to fix the door. I'm sorry you got locked inside….but honey, it's over and you're fine."

Her arms were wound tightly around his neck.

"I'm right here," he whispered, his lips kissing away the tears.

"I've got you, honey," he urged.

He tried to assess her injures but she refused to release him.

"I need to…"

"D..d..'t…. l…ea…ve," she sobbed.

He smiled as he swallowed his own tears. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm right here, Sara."

His voice was soft and gentle as he tried to soothe her but it did little to comfort her.

His lips touched hers slightly but then she pulled him against her, her mouth opening and deepening the kiss.

He cursed inwardly at his weakness but he took full advantage of the moment letting his self get lost in the need for her.

Her trembling hands shook and he struggled from her grasp.

She tried to pull him back to her, the need for his warmth stronger than her pride at the moment.

His hands grabbed her bloodied hands. "Sara…no….your hands, honey. Let me take care of…"

The rejection caused her to withdraw, the pain in her eyes unbearable.

He grabbed her to him.

She burst into tears as she withdrew further, trying to scoot away from him.

"Look at me," he said sternly.

Her eyes refused to turn in his direction so he forcibly moved her chin upwards. "I need to take care of your hands. Do you understand?"

_I'm not some child, Gil…_

_I'm the same woman…_

_The same woman that aches for you every time I'm near you…_

She closed her eyes, trying to slow her anger.

It was fruitless to get angry over her inability to speak her mind so she merely nodded as he guided her to the bathroom, opening up the medicine kit.

"Let me see," he whispered.

He opened her hands, examining the small cuts and torn fingernails.

Bruising was already settling in on both of her hands.

He cursed inwardly realizing she must have been beating on the door for over an hour while he lay there in the barn.

Gently he placed an antibiotic on each of the cuts.

"Better?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Sara…is it better?" he asked again needing to hear her voice.

"Y…e….s," she answered in a hoarse voice.

He gulped as he shoved the medicine kit onto the floor.

His hand stroked her hair as her hiccups slowed.

She felt mortified by the rejection.

She'd thrown herself at him while he was only trying to comfort her.

_He doesn't desire you Sara…_

_How could he want you when he has her?_

_She did this on purpose…_

_She played on my fears…_

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

She swallowed. "Sh…e…..d..i…d….it!"

"She? Heather? No, she didn't. Sara, the door knob was broken. I've been meaning to fix it. I'm sorry that happened."

Sara shook her head. "N…o….sh…e…."

She didn't finish, knowing he would take Heather's word over hers.

"You talked," he said with a smile.

She was much too quiet as his hand continued to stroke her cheek.

His other hand held one of hers and he brought it to his lips, kissing the injured fingers.

"I'm sorry…that Heather upset you," he grieved.

She stiffened at the sound of Heather's name.

"I've been waiting…to talk with you," he said.

She struggled to get up but he pinned her slightly to the mattress. "I'm sorry I left…Costa Rica…without talking to you."

His hand toyed with a strand of her hair. "I…should have…heard your side."

He took a deep breath, not sure if he should press her any further. "I think we need to talk about…what happened."

She shook her head.

"Sara…"

He stopped, seeing firsthand how distraught she appeared.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Sssshh," he soothed. "It can wait."

Her eyes stared at him, almost pleading.

"What?" he whispered.

He dipped down so that their lips were inches apart and whispered, "What do you want, Sara?"

His breath sent shivers down her spine.

She wanted him more than anything.

She timidly kissed him on the mouth, her lips brushing his.

He returned the gesture but then planted kisses along her neckline, dipping lower to her breasts as her breath became labored.

"Sara…do you understand…what you're asking? I don't want to…unless…"

She couldn't believe that he actually thought he would be taking advantage of her if he made love to her.

"Y..eeeessss."

Gently he eased his body over hers, checking to ensure she wasn't objecting.

With the removal of each piece of clothing, he stopped briefly, glancing into her eyes to see if there was any hesitation but she wanted it as much as he did.

He'd thought of little else ever since she had been discharged from the hospital.

He cradled her head with his arm as his lips devoured hers just as he entered her.

Months of separation seeped through each touch, filling each of them with a hungry need that could only be squelched by the other.

She burst into moans with each thrust, clinging to his body as he brought both of them to climax.

His body stiffened immediately when he caught sight of tears.

"Did I hurt you?" he gasped. "Sara…I'm sorry. I didn't think…it would…is it your leg…your head…honey, tell me what's wrong?"

Her voice was small as dark chocolate orbs peered up at him.

"Wh….y?" she asked.

"Why? Sara, I thought you wanted it as much as I did," he stammered.

She nodded earnestly, easing his mind as she struggled with her words.

He stroked her hair. "Go slow," he urged.

"Wwwhy….e….ma….il?"

His eyes widened. "I didn't send that! I didn't… I hadn't checked my email in weeks. I swear!"

She looked confused.

"Darren…did it," he explained.

She slowly shook her head, not believing Darren had sent it.

She grimaced as she tried to sit up.

"Your leg is hurting. I'm going to get your pain medicine," he said as he slipped on his jeans. "I'll make some tea and then we can talk."

She grabbed her night gown, slipping it on as she slowly put some weight on the leg.

It was throbbing but she wanted to follow him, sit in the kitchen so they could talk.

His phone rang and she noticed it lying on the desk in the study.

"Sara…could you bring me the phone?" he asked as he leaned into the hallway, catching sight of her.

She hobbled into the study, picking up the phone but then a piece of paper caught her eye.

She stared at the divorce papers.

"Sara?" Grissom called as the phone continued to ring.

He stepped into the study but halted when he saw her distressed face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

He glanced at the paper, trying to snatch it from her hand but she jerked back.

After they'd made love she was sure he felt the need for her.

Certainly he had not had sex with her because she had wanted it.

She knew the paper was not there a few hours ago.

_Did he ask Heather to bring him the copy?_

_Maybe he'd intended to approach her with it until the incident with the door._

He flew into a rage, realizing Heather had purposely left it in plain view so Sara would find it.

"Sara…give it to me," he ordered.

Her eyes misted as she scanned the document.

"_Irreconcilable differences….pain and anguish"_

Her eyes stared at his in disbelief. "When I got the video…what was I supposed to think?"

_Did you not think I was going through my own pain and anguish at having to leave you?_

_Did you think I was having the time of my life in Costa Rica?_

Her stomach knotted at the memory of the video Darren had urged her to make.

It never was supposed to be seen by Grissom and she had stupidly gone along with the quirky idea to appease a friend.

She gulped.

_I don't even know who to trust anymore…_

Now, she realized Darren had sent it to Grissom.

It didn't matter.

If he wanted a divorce then he could have it.

She grabbed a pen and attempted to sign it as he tried to take it from her.

She shook her head violently.

"Sara, let me explain," he begged.

Her trembling hand scribbled her name on the paper and shoved it at him but he ripped the divorce papers to shreds.

"I can't…I won't accept that," he grieved.

She burst into tears, angry that he was present to witness her break down.

Her hand covered her mouth to stifle a sob as she held her stomach, bile almost choking her.

He stepped forward but her hands flew up as if to warn him off.

"Sara…I…"

She flew past him to the bedroom, locking the door for good measure.

He leaned against the door as he tried to listen for her.

Finally he knocked. "Sara…please unlock the door. Let me explain."

Something hit the door.

He shoved the shredded paper under the door.

"I never wanted this," he said softly. "I was an ass, Sara. Please…let me explain."

Another sob was heard and he cringed.

He retreated to the study, sitting down in the chair.

He would wait as long as it took for her to calm down.

She remembered Heather had said he went to Costa Rica to get her to sign divorce papers.

_How could I have forgotten that?_

_He came to get closure…_

_He didn't want to be married to me anymore…_

_It's the reason he isn't wearing his wedding band anymore…_

The sight of the papers on his desk sent a piercing pain through her heart.

She felt he'd been waiting to present them to her.

_Screw the invalid and then present the divorce papers…_

It was irrational thinking on her part but she was too upset to think clearly.

Seeing their names on the divorce papers had been heart breaking.

Hours passed and yet the door remained locked.

She lay there, sniffling when there was a sound just outside the door.

Within minutes the door came off its hinges.

She scrambled to her feet as Grissom stood there holding the door.

"You need your medicine," he said, breathing heavily.

He set the door against the wall and disappeared into the kitchen.

He returned with pills and water.

He extended them to her but she just gawked at the door.

"I'll put it back on," he said wearily. "But…there have been enough walls between us…we're going to talk."

Note from author:

I think I have resolved my computer problems…for now. Thanks for leaving a review for each chapter. Some of you have some wonderful ideas on how to get rid of Heather….LOL.

Take care!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

His hand dropped the pills into hers and she took them.

She made sure her fingers did not touch his as she took the water.

"When you sent the video…I thought you were saying goodbye. I played it over and over until I thought I was going out of my mind. I didn't even show up for work until Catherine continued to hound me."

She grabbed her notepad.

"_I made the tape but I never intended to send it. Darren did. It was supposed to be…it was never supposed to be sent…just a way of…saying what I knew I would never say. You have no problem saying what you wanted to say."_

The last sentence was underlined several times.

He sighed wearily. "I'm sorry. It seems I played right into Darren's plan."

He took a deep breath. "Sara, you have to understand how it felt for me to get the video. For a month I was barely hanging on. I couldn't go home…I drove around until finally I…went to Heather's. Catherine and I had this case…I tried to justify that it was work related but…she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I just needed…someone to talk to."

Sara sat immobile.

He glanced at her and then continued. "She….wanted to know…where you were so I told her. Before I knew it I had told her everything."

_I know Gil…_

_You always shared so much with her…_

_So little with me…_

"She convinced me that it was over….that you were wanting my permission to move on…said you look relieved…happy…and I…I should let you go," he shuddered. "I swear Sara…I wanted you. I needed you!"

His shoulders shook as he looked at her. "Heather…offered me a room…a place to sleep so I wouldn't have to go back…to any place that reminded me of you. I needed rest…sleep and I couldn't get it there in our home…so I accepted."

Sara's eyes bore a hole into him.

His gut twisted. "I missed you. I missed us. Every fiber of my being wanted you," he emphasized. "So…I finally made a choice. I turned in my resignation and decided I would go see for myself…see if you had indeed moved on and if…you did I…would let you go."

He swallowed not liking how quiet she was.

"I couldn't do it," he cried. "Even when I saw what I saw I just fled…ran as far as I could. Like I told you before…my destination was random."

She looked confused.

"I'm sorry. I talked a lot…when you woke but you…didn't seem to acknowledge me…us…the world. I just thought you understood even though you didn't want to interact. I took the first flight available to the states and then from there I took the next flight…all random. I just needed…distance from everything and everyone."

He glanced at the shredded divorce papers scattered on the floor. "I told myself when I went to Costa Rica that I could let you go if you'd moved on but I couldn't do it. I couldn't even give you the papers, too afraid you would sign them and then it would be over. I planned to…contact you eventually and try to…beg you to come back to me."

He hung his head as he wiped as his eyes. "If I had…pleaded…would you have…come back to me?" he asked.

She took a deep breath.

She told herself she didn't want to know what transpired at Heather's but she needed to know.

She reached for the notepad again.

His hands stopped her.

"Sara…talk to me," he whispered.

She gasped for air as if struggling to breathe. "L…ove... hhhher?"

"No! Sara! No!"

"Dddd…id…yyyyou…" she stopped too upset to finish the question.

His hands grasped her face, fearful she would have a seizure.

"I love you Sara. I've never loved anyone…but you," he cried as he kissed every inch of her face.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her while her arms remained limp, refusing to return the embrace.

He rocked her back and forth, sitting down beside her on the bed.

Her body remained stiff against his but he refused to relinquish his hold.

She wasn't pushing him away at least and he took comfort in that small fete.

He caught sight of something lying under the mattress and pulled it out, staring at the Sudoku book.

His fingers fumbled through the first few pages but noticed none of the puzzles were done.

He started to drop it but then noticed the back pages seemed worn.

"You did the hard ones first?" he questioned.

She said nothing as his fingers toyed with the book, seeing that all of the difficult ones were finished.

He smiled, hugging her tight.

His phone rang but he ignored it.

As soon as it stopped, it started again.

She pulled away, inching her way further onto the bed.

"I'll get that," he offered as he stepped into the study.

"Grissom."

"Gil…I need to talk with you," cried Heather.

"You put the divorce papers on my desk," he accused.

"I didn't think you had a copy," she answered innocently.

"You did that on purpose hoping Sara would find them," he gritted.

"She did? Gil, that was not my intention…really," she pouted.

"Yes, it was….just like you knew she was locked in the closet…and you didn't bother to help her," he spat.

Sara's eyes widened as she overheard the conversation.

"What are you talking about?" replied Heather feigning ignorance at his accusation.

"Stop calling me. Stop interfering. I'm where I want to be…with my wife."

"For how long?" she spat. "Until she runs off again? Until she finds out you moved in with me? Until she finds out…about us?"

"Sara knows that I moved into your spare room. She knows that I've never loved anyone but her. She knows that while I went to Costa Rica with divorce papers I had no intention of giving her…hell she could have been screwing the entire team and I wouldn't have given them to her."

Heather's voice was shaky. "Gil, you're not thinking straight. You're upset about her condition…I understand that. I can wait…awhile."

"Sara is talking…her first word…was bitch. I want to thank you for getting her so riled that she blurted out the first word she could find to describe you."

Heather sniffled. "I'm glad she is better. Gil, you know I have never pushed myself on you….you came to me."

"Not anymore. Goodbye Heather."

He turned off his phone this time and set it on the desk.

His eyes locked with hers when he entered the bedroom.

"En….ti….re…...t….eam?"

He looked embarrassed. "You didn't…did you?" but then his hands flew up in the air. "I'm sorry. I wasn't accusing you of anything. I was making a point."

She nodded.

He stood there, not sure of his next move.

She made it for him by slipping down into the covers.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You haven't eaten. You can't take the meds and not eat," he cautioned.

He glanced toward the kitchen and then at her. "I'll make some sandwiches," he offered.

He started to leave but then halted. "Are you okay?"

She nodded slowly.

"I'll….be right back."

He was back within minutes, setting a tray onto the bed.

There were sandwiches along with a small bowl of fruit and a glass of milk.

He sat down on his side of the bed and nibbled on his sandwich, hoping she would eat.

He was pleased when she finished the sandwich and ate part of the fruit.

He took away the tray, putting it into the kitchen.

Bruno whined at the backdoor and he let him in.

He ran through the house as Grissom scolded him.

The huge dog settled beside Sara.

She stroked his fur as he lay there begging with his huge eyes for Grissom to let him stay.

"Is it alright?" he asked.

She nodded as she sniffled.

He turned off the lights settling down on his side of the bed.

His hand reached out and stroked Bruno's fur coming into contact with hers.

"I think he likes it here," whispered Grissom.

There was no sound except Bruno's panting.

Softly he heard her voice. "Mmmmeee toooo."

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

"Me too," he whispered.

Brass was excited over Grissom's news of Sara's ability to speak.

Brass chuckled. "So her first word was directed at Heather?"

Grissom frowned. "Yes…and Jim….you were right."

"I'm always right. You need to be more specific."

"About Heather."

"What has the witch or should I say bitch done now?"

"It's not important. What is important is that she's out of our lives…for good."

"Glad to hear it."

Grissom rushed to the window as he saw Sara heading off toward the barn.

"Listen, I've got to go," stated Grissom.

He hung up, not giving Brass time to utter a single word.

He practically ran to the barn, his chest heaving as he searched for her.

A small voice could be heard on the other side of the barn.

"I didn't bother nothing," pouted the little boy.

The small kitten sat in the boy's lap.

Sara smiled as she sat down next to the boy and patted the kitten.

"There used to be a lot of kittens," announced the little boy.

Grissom appeared.

"I see we have a guest," said Grissom.

"My name is David," he announced as he looked at Sara and Grissom.

"This is Sara…and I'm…you can call me Grissom."

"That's a funny name," the boy laughed.

"It's my last name," Grissom explained.

"Oh….you don't have a first name?" David asked.

"Yes I do but most people call me by my last name."

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you want to play?" asked David to Sara.

Sara glanced between the two.

"David, where do you live?" asked Grissom.

"Across the field," replied the little boy as he pointed.

"Shouldn't you be at home?"

Sara glared at Grissom.

"There's nothing to do. You have the creek…and the barn…and the kitten."

Bruno barked from the fenced in yard.

"You have a dog too?" asked David excitedly.

"Yes, we do," answered Grissom.

David smiled at Sara. "Do you talk?"

Her smile faded and she shook her head.

"Sara…has to learn how to talk again," explained Grissom.

"My Grandpa had to learn how to talk again after his stroke. Did you stroke?"

Sara grinned but shook her head.

"Oh. Well, I can help you," he said taking Sara's hand. "I've been talking for six years and I know a lot of words."

Grissom grinned but turned serious. "David, we need to take you home so your parents don't worry."

"My parents are dead. I live with Grandma and Grandpa."

Sara caressed the small hand.

"Still, they need to know where you are."

"Yes, sir," pouted the little boy.

"I'll drive you…"

"Oh I can walk," he said as he pulled Sara to her feet.

"Sara hurt her leg. She can't walk…." But it was too late as Sara and the small child headed across the field.

"Sara!" Grissom called after her, forcing them to stop.

"Go slow…don't overdo it," he warned.

David cringed when he heard his grandmother calling for him.

"I'm in trouble," he breathed.

"Ooookkkaay," stressed Sara. The small child smiled at Sara. "You sound pretty."

The woman stood at the edge of the field watching as the others made their way toward the house.

"I'm sorry. Was he bothering you?" asked the old woman.

Sara shook her head and smiled at David.

"He wasn't bothering us. We were just worried that he'd wandered off without letting you know where he was," explained Grissom.

There was noise inside and she ushered them into the house.

"I'm sorry. My husband is bedridden and I…I'll be back in just a minute," she said leaving them in the living room.

The house was very small.

She returned fretting about the looks of the house.

"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes…to sweep or…I spend most of my time tending to my husband," she explained.

"David seems to like to play in our creek as well as our barn."

She looked distressed. "I'm sorry. I won't let him go over there anymore."

Sara's hand grabbed Grissom's wrist.

He glanced at her and then spoke up. "If you don't mind…that he comes over…while we're at home then…we don't mind."

"I couldn't impose. If I know my grandson he will be over there all of the time. There isn't much for him to do around here and there are no other children," her lower lip quivered. "He has no one…really."

"We just moved into the farmhouse. My family has owned it for years but my wife was involved in a…she was hurt."

The old woman glanced at the bandage on Sara's knee. "Oh, I'm sorry. Please sit down."

Sara sat down on the edge of the couch.

Grissom sat down as well but was surprised when David scooted between them.

Sara grinned.

"David, that wasn't very nice."

"I just wanted to sit by her. She's learning to talk again like Grandpa."

The woman looked at Sara.

"Sara is learning to talk again as well," stated Grissom.

The woman wiped her hands on her apron and extended it to them.

"I'm sorry. I don't know where my manners are. I am Martha Toliver and my husband…is…" she thought for a moment.

David helped. "Grandpa is James Toliver and I am David James Toliver."

The old woman smiled. "Thank you David. David is our grandson. He's been living with us ever since his parents were killed in an automobile accident. David is our only grandson. His father was an only child."

"Gil Grissom and my wife, Sara," stated Grissom as he extended his hand.

The old woman took it and then shook hands with Sara.

They exchanged smiles as David spoke up. "Gil! That's a funny name….bet you like fish. No wonder you like your last name."

"David" scolded his grandmother.

The boy scooted back into the couch.

Sara snorted.

"I did tell him to call me by my last name," explained Grissom.

"Oh, well," replied the grandmother nervously.

"As I said before, David is welcome to come over as long as you know where he is and as long as we are there. We wouldn't want him to get hurt."

"No…no we wouldn't," admitted Mrs. Toliver. '"I try to keep up with him but…Please…he didn't mean anything when he just came over there."

"We're not angry," urged Grissom. "He seems to have a way with kittens. Out barn kitten needs some handling and I think David is just the man for the job."

David shoved out his chest.

Sara smirked as well as the old woman. "Thank you."

Grissom stood helping Sara to her feet.

"Thank you for bringing him home."

"But…I haven't played," pouted David.

"David," warned his grandmother.

"Yes ma' am."

Sara tugged on David's shirt.

"What Sara?"

Sara took a deep breath. "Pppplay?"

"Could I?" begged the little boy.

Grissom glanced at the old woman. "It seems my wife would like for David to play…at our place."

"Oh…well if you're sure and he's not imposing."

"If you give me your phone number, I'll call…"

Mrs. Toliver fidgeted.

"Oh, if you don't have a phone, then that's okay. We'll bring him home…make sure he gets back here by 5:00."

"That…would be fine," stated Mrs. Toliver.

Sara and David took off through the field as Grissom lagged behind.

He chuckled as the little boy began to pick wildflowers along the way and hand them to Sara.

Once he had Sara to bend down so he could put a flower behind her ear.

She rewarded him with a kiss which made the boy beam with delight.

Once they reached the house, Sara and David played with the kitten while he began the task of putting the bedroom door back on as well as fixing the closet door.

He did odd jobs around the house taking note of where they were.

When evening came, Sara fixed a picnic lunch and they headed back off to the field where they sat near the creek and ate the food.

Once they were done, David showed Sara the small fish and crayfish in the creek.

"Someday I'm going to catch Mr. Claw," he whispered.

Sara grinned.

"Don't be afraid, Sara. I'll protect you," promised David.

Grissom grinned at Sara's knight in shining armor.

That evening they walked him home, waving at the old woman as she stepped out onto the back porch and called for David.

They waited until he was back safely before turning to go home.

He slipped his hand into hers as they made their way back to the house.

She stopped suddenly pulling his left hand up.

"Rrring?" she asked.

He sighed. "I was so angry…hurt…I took it off and threw it into my suitcase. I tried to find it….but I'm afraid it's gone."

Once their relationship was out in the open, he wanted so very much to stake his claim on her, to let the world know that she belonged to him.

The day she was released from the hospital, he had driven them to a small wedding chapel.

At first, Sara thought it was a joke but within an hour they were married.

Sara had picked out the weddings bands at the chapel.

They still kept the marriage a secret for quite some time, not sure how the others would take their elopement, particularly Brass.

"I'm sorry the hospital lost yours…and I lost mine but we could get new ones," he offered.

She seemed hurt by the loss and was quiet for the remainder of the evening.

That night he lay down beside her, having forced Bruno to lie on the rug.

He inched closer and she stiffened.

"Could…I hold you?" he whispered.

He didn't wait for a reply but pulled her into his arms.

"Today…was good," he whispered.

And it had been perfect.

The stresses of their past had been kept away by a young boy who was giving Gil Grissom a run for his money when it came to a certain brunette.

Already Sara was very fond of the little boy.

"Yes," she replied.

He grinned at how well she spoke. "That…was perfect."

Gently he stroked her hair as he leaned down and kissed her.

Her hands wrapped around his neck pulling him closer.

He took full advantage of the opportunity, sliding his body over hers and easing her legs apart.

Her gasps were guttural as he plunged deep within her, sinking to her very core before setting up a slow pace.

With each stroke, he kissed her, trying to make her feel loved.

Even after he climaxed, he remained inside her, reveling in how secure he felt at that moment.

He continued to stroke her hair, soothing her to sleep, feeling hopeful for their future.

Note from author:

And of course someone is saying "but Penny has too many chapters left for things to go so smoothly..." LOL

Take care!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

The next day, Sara rushed through breakfast as Grissom explained he was going to be working on getting their furniture delivered from the townhouse.

"I thought we could go into town and…"

He saw how her shoulders slumped.

"You…don't want to go into town?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Okay. I've got some things to do around here while I wait for the movers to arrive," he said.

Sara grabbed her shoes and snapped her fingers at Bruno.

He jumped up, wagging his tail, anticipating a walk.

"Where are you going or do I have to ask?"

"Ddddaaavid."

"Be careful of Mr. Claw," he warned.

She smiled and then hurried toward the door with Bruno by her side but he caught up with her.

"You forgot something," he said as he leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

She looked startled but then her lips turned upward into a smile.

She started out but then turned returning the kiss as she fled across the porch.

"Sara…be careful with…your leg!" he barked but then let his voice soften at the sight of her hobbling past the barn.

He chuckled as he got up and began his chores.

The next few days he saw Sara blossom under the watchful care of David.

She hurried out each morning to go to the top of the field and wave as David ran toward her.

The grandmother would wave at Sara and wait until David reached her.

They spent many hours playing in the barn.

Grissom found an old tire and hung it so they could swing.

They stacked the loose hay into a pile and took turns jumping and crawling through it.

Bruno especially liked hiding in it.

Some days they sat on the porch swing while David helped Sara pronounce words.

She in turn, helped him to read.

"Sara, were you lonely before I came?" asked David.

"Yes…I….was," she admitted.

He smiled. "Me too. I'm glad I found you and you found me."

Grissom smiled sadly at the conversation he overheard.

It was then he realized how much a child would have meant to them.

Sara's laughter made him turn as he smiled in her direction.

Dark brown eyes smiled back at him.

Each day, Grissom felt she was getting better and better.

Heather continued to call but he refused to answer.

The furniture from the townhouse made the house much homier.

The old furniture was hauled away by the movers.

Several pieces were put upstairs which remained quite a mess.

He'd finally gotten her to return to town with him and they had been able to find a nice dining room table, although it was doubtful they would ever use it, not wanting to give up their privacy.

David was the exception, of course.

David started upstairs but Sara stopped him. "Mmmesssy."

"Why don't you fix it?" asked David.

"Noo tttime," said Sara.

"I could help," offered David.

"Play…orrr wwwork?" challenged Sara.

David grinned as he whispered in Sara's ear. "Let's go climb the apple tree."

Sara grinned as they took off.

Grissom returned to the front porch and found them missing.

He'd not seen them for several hours and knew that it was time for David to go home.

He checked the top of the hill and noticed the grandmother was already sitting on the back porch waiting for David.

He checked the creek but there was no sign that they had been there.

When he passed under the apple tree, he noticed a few half eaten apples.

Bruno was in the back yard sleeping in the sun.

Grissom scanned the farm and did not see or hear them.

He tried to tap down the fear that began to creep up.

He stepped into the barn but the kitten lay sleeping on the hay.

Sara and David were nowhere in sight.

He called but there was no reply.

Just as he was about to panic, he heard a soft noise coming from the loft.

He climbed the ladder quickly and sighed when he caught sight of Sara and David asleep in the hay.

It angered him a bit that she'd climbed up there.

Quietly he lay down next to her, taking a piece of hay and gently brushed it across her face.

She swatted at it a few times and then woke.

His blue eyes sparkled.

"It's time for David to go home," he whispered.

She yawned as she started to rise but he stopped her.

"Lie with me," he whispered.

They looked up into the rafters of the barn.

A barn swallow flew nearby taking food to its nest.

Grissom turned his head toward Sara as she stared in awe at the baby birds.

He smiled. "I think…living here is good for us."

She nodded, not wanting to take her eyes off the nest.

"I found a few half eaten apples. You wouldn't know anything about them would you?" he teased.

She shook her head innocently.

He rolled over on top of her.

She glanced quickly at David.

"Your knight in shining armor is fast asleep," he whispered.

Grissom leaned down and took her lips, drinking deeply before releasing them.

"You shouldn't be climbing up and down the ladder with your knee. It's too soon," he scolded gently.

She grinned. "He…chcchallenged…mmeee."

Grissom chuckled. "And you just had to show him."

"Yes," she said with confidence.

David stirred. "Hi Grissom. Are you through with working and want to play?"

"Your grandmother needs you to go home. She's waiting."

"Ahhhhh," he whined.

"Tttomorrow," declared Sara.

"Can we play in the creek?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied.

As soon as he reached his grandmother, they turned to go home.

"I thought that soon we could start work on the upstairs," he stated over dinner.

Sara's eyes rose to meet his.

"After playing in the creek, of course," clarified Grissom.

Sara gave him her Sidle smile and it quickened his pulse.

The days flew by as they settled into their life at the farm.

Grissom had avoided his phone for as long as he could.

The next day when it rang, he answered it.

"Grissom."

"Gil…it's Conrad."

"I said I would give you an answer as soon as I knew when…"

"Gil, I need to fill my old position. If you're interested then you've got to come in. I know this is bad timing but I need to get it filled. If you're not interested then…I could offer it to Catherine…but that would leave Graveyard vacant again. Not that you would be interested in it or would you?"

"I'll get back with you…tonight," he stated.

He never cared for a desk job but then he never considered the freedom he'd been given to really live with Sara.

That evening he approached the subject of returning to work.

"Sara, I've been offered a job at the lab again," he said.

Her head snapped up.

"Ecklie…offered me his old position….or I could take back the graveyard position as shift supervisor."

"Cath?" she asked.

"Catherine would be promoted if…I took my old job back."

She nodded.

He sighed. "I could apply for some grants…do research but that might take time and the townhouse hasn't sold yet."

"I….got mmoney," she stammered.

He smiled. "We're not desperate but it would be nice to do a few things around here and we can't do that…without using our savings. I don't want to do that."

She nodded in understanding.

"What do you think I should do?"

She was surprised he was even asking her.

"Do…wwwhat makes yyyou hap…py," she got out.

"You make me happy," he urged, squeezing her hand.

"I don't like the idea of leaving you alone…at night," he said softly.

She swallowed. "You…wwant…ggraave…yyyard?"

His eyes dropped to the floor. "I don't know."

She didn't like the idea of him returning to the lab but then she knew it had to be on his terms.

"I….ffffiiiinnne," she stammered.

"Sara…would it bother you…if I…"

She shook her head.

It was a lie.

She didn't want him to be immersed in death again but what she wanted didn't matter.

She never thought that anything she wanted mattered, giving in or keeping silent so that he wouldn't reject her.

"I might…go back…to..graveyard," he admitted.

She tensed immediately but tried to remain calm.

"Sara, are you sure? I need to know you agree…with my decision?"

"You…nnnnever….aaaasked bbbbefore," she managed to get out.

It wasn't so much that he was considering returning to work at night, it was the thought of being alone once again.

He leaned back. "I know. I made some stupid…mistakes…like the sabbatical without consulting you," he admitted. "But I'm trying to include you…this time."

Sara hung her head.

She'd made a few of her own.

She took a deep breath. "Ppppaperwwork vvversus ttttthhhe gggguys."

He immediately noticed the way her speech became stressed.

"Sara…I didn't burn out because of my work. I burned out because I lost my…diversion….you."

"Wwwwaaas I?"

His eyes widened. "Didn't you know how much you meant to me?" he gasped.

"Yyyyyyooouuu chchchchchose hhhherrrrrr ooooover mmme."

"No, I didn't," he said irritably. "You shut me out. You lied about not being able to deal with Natalie and then you ran…left! I tried to understand. I was patient but then you came back after Warrick's death only to leave…again."

He shouted the last word but then lowered his voice. "I would have rather watched you self destruct than to have you leave me. That….almost made me self destruct….it did the second time you left."

"Wwwwhhaaat ddddoooo yyyyou mmmean?"

He stepped back as if he'd said something terribly wrong.

She caught how nervous he was.

"I….didn't mean for us to get into this. I haven't decided what…"

"Wwwwhhhaaat dddooo yyyyooo mmmean?" she pressed.

"Sara, calm down. Let's drop this. I only meant that it hurt when I got the video."

She knew he was lying.

She stood determined to press the issue.

The words were refusing to come out and so she rushed to get her notepad.

"_How did you self destruct? What did you do Gil?"_

His hand trembled as he read the words.

"I made stupid decisions at work. Ask Catherine….she covered enough…I…wasn't functioning."

"_And now it will be different?"_

Before he could answer she scribbled out.

"_What are you going to do when Heather reappears? She's been calling every day. She's not going to give up."_

"Heather…just misunderstood…my actions…feelings…for her."

"Hhhhhow?"

"Sara, she wants a relationship. I'm not blind…anymore," he added.

"Ddddid yyyooou hhhhaave a relaationsshship?"

He swallowed. "I…she was…the only person I trusted…besides you."

Sara swallowed. "Dddddddiiiid yyyyyoou hhhaave ssssexxx?"

He raked his hands through his hair and she backed away too shocked that her fears were validated.

"Sara…"

The seizure hit with intensity.

He grabbed her shaking body as he lowered her to the floor.

It seemed to last forever as he tried to soothe her, whispering softly to her while keeping track of the length of the seizure.

The shaking finally stopped as she lay there suddenly lifeless.

He quickly carried her to the bedroom, placing her on the bed.

With haste, he retrieved a quilt from the other room and covered her while he called Langston.

Minutes ticked by as his trembling hands checked her pulse.

The sound of Langston's voice relieved him as he answered his phone.

"Ray, it's Sara," he choked.

An hour later, Langston arrived.

"She's still asleep," stated Grissom.

"Sleep is good," he advised as he stepped into the house.

He carefully examined Sara and then stepped out of the room.

Grissom handed him a drink and he took it, sitting down in the study.

Grissom's eyes were glued to the bed in the next room.

Langston looked back. "I know it's not easy seeing a loved one have a seizure. As long as the seizure last less than five minute then I don't think we should change her seizure medication."

"It lasted four minutes," stated Grissom.

"Four long minutes," clarified Langston.

Grissom grunted his approval as he took a sip of the amber liquid in the glass.

"Gil, were you arguing when it happened?" he asked softly.

"Yes. She wouldn't….she wanted to know…about my relationship with Heather Kessler."

Langston nodded. "Is the truth worth the risk?"

"Every time I try to tell her, a seizure hits."

"Then you have your answer. Her body doesn't want to accept…what happened."

"She knew before I even said it…I could see it in her eyes and then…" He didn't finish.

"Some seizure patients don't remember the events leading up to the seizure. Be careful if she…tries to remember."

Grissom nodded his gaze still toward the bed in the other room.

"Let me know if she's disoriented for a long period of time after she wakes."

"How long…should she be disoriented?"

Langston smiled. "If you're not sure…need reassurance, then give me a call."

Bruno whined as he tried to open the screen door.

"I take it this must be Bruno," grinned Langston.

"He's used to sleeping with…us."

"Let him sleep with her. Dogs can sense when seizures are going to strike. He may be able to alert you in time to stop it from happening."

Langston toyed with the prescription bottle on the counter as Grissom refilled their glasses.

"I think I better take coffee," corrected Langston.

"We have an extra bedroom if you'd prefer to stay."

"Would you feel better if I did?" he questioned.

"Yes," admitted Grissom.

"Then I'll stay."

Langston took the drink while his other hand held the prescription bottle.

"So…you don't think you should change the prescription?" asked Grissom again.

"No…not yet."

Langston checked the label. "Let's see how she reacts after the seizure."

"She didn't take her meds this evening," stated Grissom.

"Give them to her after she's fully awake."

She woke nine hours later.

The first stir of her body and Grissom flipped on the light.

He scrambled to the side of the bed.

"Hey," he whispered. "How do you feel?"

Her hand went to her head.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Hhhurts," she whispered as Langston appeared in the doorway.

"Langston came…after you had the seizure."

Her eyes widened.

"Hi Sara. How do you feel?"

"Cccconffused," she admitted.

"Langston is our first sleep over guest," Grissom said trying to make light of the situation.

Both could tell she was trying to remember what happened.

"You didn't take your meds…or eat. I'll get you something while Langston has a look at you," whispered Grissom as he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

Grissom disappeared as Langston sat down on the bed.

"How do I look in Grissom's pajamas?" he teased.

Sara smiled.

Grissom had given him a pair of plaid pajamas.

It had been a gag gift several years ago.

"Nice," she said.

He grinned. "Your speech is getting better."

Grissom returned with a cup of soup along with her medicine.

Sara opened her hand and Grissom handed her the medicine.

"Wait," stated Langston as he stopped Sara.

"May I see those?" he asked.

Sara extended her hand and Langston looked carefully at them.

"That is...strange," he murmured.

"What?" asked Grissom.

"I've written this prescription hundreds of times in the past…and this doesn't look like it."

"Could it be a mix-up?" asked Grissom.

"Perhaps. Mind if I take these back and check?"

Grissom shook his head.

"I could go to the pharmacy and get another bottle filled," offered Grissom.

"Her vitals are good. Her appetite seems good," smiled Langston as Sara sipped on the soup.

"Sara, what do you last remember?" asked Langston.

"Dddavid….creek."

"David is the boy who comes over to visit. He and Sara have made friends."

"Any fish in this creek?" asked Langston.

Sara nodded.

"Any worth catching?" he clarified.

Sara smirked.

"They're minnows…unless you like crayfish," explained Grissom.

"Ahhhh. I have some great Creole recipes."

"Yuck," she said and both men laughed.

She pulled the covers back and noticed she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before.

She frowned.

"Should she be up?" questioned Grissom.

"It's fine. Just don't overdo it," cautioned Langston.

She showered and then stepped out into the kitchen.

Langston was gone.

"I made you breakfast," Grissom offered.

"Not…hun…gry," she said.

He pulled out the chair and insisted she try to eat.

She managed some toast while he sat there watching her every move.

"Whhat?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said softly.

Her hand reached for his and he took it.

"I'm…fffine," she pressed.

He smiled but it did not reach his eyes.

"Whhat hhhappened?" she asked.

He'd been waiting for this moment.

"We were discussing employment options. Ecklie offered me his position…or I could return to graveyard. I think the fear of you being left alone again triggered the seizure. You're speech was getting worse and I should have stopped the discussion. I'm sorry."

"Not…your…fffault."

He smiled sadly, knowing she was going to accept this version of the events.

The last thing he wanted was a repeat.

She'd been hurt enough. "Langston took your medication. The hospital may have given us the wrong prescription so I need to go into town for awhile. I'm not leaving you…alone."

She took that to mean she was going to town with him.

"Cccould wwee ttake Ddavid?"

Grissom grinned. "Ice cream shop near the pharmacy?"

She grinned.

"You won't argue over how much I eat?" he teased.

He'd lost a considerable amount of weight since she'd been in Costa Rica.

"No."

"It's a deal."

They spent a couple of hours into town.

David ate two scoops of ice cream with chocolate drizzle.

Sara chose a strawberry cone while Grissom ate a banana split.

She took her medicine and David rewarded her with a bite of his ice cream.

On the way home, they dropped off David and had pulled into the driveway when Grissom's phone went off.

"Grissom."

"Gil, I was right. The prescription was wrong."

Grissom eyed Sara.

"What kind of medicine is it? She's been taking it every day," worried Grissom.

"They were placebos…all of them."

Grissom looked confused. "Do you think they were using Sara as some kind of guinea pig?"

"That was my first thought but none of the staff have any ties to grants relating to that kind of experiments. It couldn't have been accidental….the hospital would have no need for placebos…I checked. It was intentional."

"But why?"

There was a pause.

"Maybe…Darren wasn't working alone."

Note from author:

One or two of you had already guessed this…so I wonder who helped him?

Take care!


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

Grissom cursed inwardly.

"Ernie Dell and his wife were foster parents to over a hundred…"

"Does Catherine know about this?"

"Not yet but I can brief her."

"Have Catherine to leave Sara's case open….dig deeper. I'd come in but I don't want to leave her right now."

"We'll get on it. Did you get the prescription filled at your local pharmacy?" asked Langston

"Yes."

"Good. Gil, the fact that she went this long without having a seizure, proves her seizures are stress induced. Just keep her stress free."

"Thanks, Ray."

Sara was sitting on the front porch as Grissom finally made his way toward the house.

"It was just a slight mix-up….but it's okay."

He sat down beside her as she swiveled so that her legs were lying in his lap.

"Tired?" he asked.

By the look of her, she was far from tired and he grinned.

He brought her hand to his lips, kissing each finger as his eyes never left hers.

That evening he made love to her slow and gentle; letting each moment say what was within his heart but knowing that he could never express how much she meant to him.

She was restless that night, getting up before him.

He rolled over and found her side cold and empty.

As he rushed into the kitchen, he caught a whiff of the freshly made coffee.

Bruno was already in the back yard.

He stepped out and saw her sitting on the back steps with coffee cup in hand.

"You were restless last night," he murmured as he joined her.

"Sorry," she said as her eyes skirted in his direction.

"Anything bothering you?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head.

Something was off but she couldn't explain it.

She felt as though some impending doom was about to drop from the sky and she very much wanted things to remain as they were.

After breakfast she took off to signal for David but he did not come.

She stood there for over an hour but there was no sign of him.

Slowly, she crossed the field and knocked but there was no answer.

She took her time coming back to the house as she made her way to the creek followed by a stroll underneath the apple tree and then a few minutes with the kitten in the barn.

He felt her as she approached him working upstairs.

He turned and looked beyond her.

"David…not here," she whispered.

"Sara…it was bound to happen sooner or later. He's probably found another playmate….so now I get my wife back," he said with a grin.

Sara remained solemn. "Gone."

"He's not at home?"

Sara shook her head.

"His grandfather may have gotten sick," stated Grissom. "He'll be back…just wait."

She leaned against the wall as she watched him fix the leak in the bathroom.

"I'm almost done. I could play with you," he offered.

She grinned slightly. "I…ccould work."

He smiled. "Play or work. I'd rather play."

She felt quite childish as he pushed her on the tire swing but he'd insisted along with a stroll down by the creek.

He tried to lure her into the water but she kept her distance not going near the creek bed.

Finally he walked her back to the house.

She helped him prepare dinner and once dishes were done she ventured up the stairs, going slow as her knee refused to allow her the simplest task of racing up the steps.

She'd been up there a few times but now, she had a purpose.

She wanted to see firsthand what needed to be done and there was much.

She swept the floors and then dusted although the entire space needed a good scrubbing.

He frowned, trying to get her to stop but she refused.

"I don;t want you to overdo it," he insisted.

She smiled knowing he'd been too protective of her.

She continued with the cleaning but there was too much to do in one day.

It would have to wait another day as the sun was already going down.

They'd need to purchase new mattresses for the beds but little would need to be changed.

She started down the stairs but halted when she heard Grissom's voice.

"I asked you not to call anymore."

Immediately, Sara knew it was Heather.

There was a slight pause and then his voice came in a softer tone.

"Heather, you've been a good friend. Let's leave it that way."

"No…I can't."

"It doesn't matter if I can or not. I won't."

"No…it wouldn't serve any purpose for you to come….alright. Tomorrow evening. No, I won't meet you somewhere. I can't leave Sara alone. That's not very nice, Heather. Fine," he answered tersely. "Tomorrow evening."

She felt her face grow red knowing that he intended to meet with that vixen despite how she felt about her.

He walked out of the study and froze when he caught sight of her on the stairs.

He wasn't sure how much she'd heard and so he tried to brush it off as though it was the lab.

"Business," he said. "Are you calling it a day?"

She stepped past him but he caught her arm. "I was thinking we could shower together."

"No," she declared.

Her eyes glared at him and he realized she had probably heard the entire conversation.

"Sara…she just wants to talk. She says it's important and once she tells me then I won't hear from her…again."

"Right!" Sara muttered.

She shrugged off his arm, grabbing some clean clothes and then showering.

He fumed when she set his things outside the door and then shut it.

"Oh…so where am I supposed to sleep?" he asked.

She opened the door and he thought she had changed her mind but she gave a loud whistle and Bruno ran into the bedroom.

The door was then shut in his face.

He grumbled as he went to the bathroom and prepared for bed.

He tapped on the door but she refused to answer.

"Sara…open the door."

"No."

"This is childish."

She opened the door so hard, he almost fell inside.

"Yyou…promised!"

He swallowed. "I know. I'm sorry but…she sounded desperate and…"

She started to shut the door again and he quickly blocked the door with his foot.

"Gget….out!"

"Calm down," he soothed. "Sara, she'll stop calling if I let her come and make one last plea…then it will be over. You'll see."

She stepped away from the door and he quickly stepped inside.

She grabbed her notepad.

"_So I'm just supposed to let this woman into our home so she can try to seduce you, persuade you to leave me…for her?"_

It was the just of it and so he simply said, "Yes."

She grabbed a pillow and wacked him in the head.

"Sara…it's not like I'm going to fall for it."

She grabbed her pillow and started to leave but he blocked her.

"This is our bed…please. I promise you this is going to be over tomorrow."

His hand went out, swiping a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Come to bed, honey," he whispered.

She refused to let him touch her as she lay on her side.

Gently he eased as close as he dared and softly whispered sonnets into her ear until she fell asleep.

Grissom laid back on the bed, praying he was not making a critical mistake by allowing Heather to come the next evening.

The next morning David returned.

"I couldn't come yesterday. Grandpa was really sick and Grandma needed me," David explained. "We went to the hospital."

"Ggggoood…boy," announced Sara.

David smiled. "That's "good"," he corrected.

Sara smiled. She closed her eyes and concentrated. "Ggood."

"Better," grinned David. "Can we play in the creek today?"

Sara took his hand and they trotted off to the creek below the field.

Grissom kept a distance, watching how Sara giggled at David's antics.

Once they reached the bank, Sara rolled up her pants legs.

"Ccccold," she shivered.

"You have to let your feet get used to it," grinned David. "I see a crayfish!"

Sara eased over to the middle of the creek.

She squealed when the crawfish swam toward her.

"Sara's afraid of a crayfish!" chanted David.

She reached down and tried to catch it but squealed once more when it ran toward her again.

"I'll save you Sara," yelled David as his hands dove at the crayfish, sending water everywhere.

Soon, they were both wet from head to toe.

"Sorry, Sara," David whimpered.

"Ooookay," she soothed and then splashed water into the little boy's face.

Soon water was splashing everywhere.

Grissom sat down in the field and laughed at the spectacle.

David's head popped up.

"Grissom is here!" yelled David as he ran out of the water toward Grissom.

David grabbed the man's hand. "Come on Grissom. We can catch him now!"

Grissom's eyes twinkled at the young man's determination.

He glanced toward Sara who had fallen silent.

His smile faded. "David…you and Sara can catch…"

Sara jumped, letting out a scream as she ran toward the bank.

Grissom ran toward her. "What's wrong?"

Sara pointed to the snake.

Grissom smiled. "It's just a green snake. It's harmless."

He reached down and picked up the snake.

Despite being harmless, it tried to bite him.

Grissom carried him out into the field and then turned him loose.

"Grissom saved you," announced David.

David pulled at Grissom's hand, pointing into the water.

"He's back!" yelled David.

Both adults looked down at the rather large crayfish.

Grissom grinned at David. "Are you brave?" he asked.

David nodded and then showed his muscles.

"And strong too," added Grissom.

Both of them joined Sara into the water.

Grissom tried not to look at Sara, afraid she didn't want him to join in their fun.

Within seconds they were chasing the crayfish from one end of the creek to the other with Sara in the middle trying to stay clear of the huge pinchers.

Each time she tried to make a break for the bank one of them would chase it toward her.

Finally the little boy dove into the water grabbing at the critter, throwing dirt and rocks everywhere.

"I got him!" announced David as he held up the crayfish.

Sara clapped joyfully as Grissom tried to wipe the mud and gravel off of his clothes.

"Good job, David. Next time….leave part of the creek bed intact," he said.

"What does "intact" mean?" asked David.

"Don't throw mud and gravel," corrected Grissom.

Sara snickered.

"You think this is funny?" asked Grissom.

Sara stepped back but Grissom lurched at her just as she sidestepped him.

He landed head face into the water.

Woman and child laughed as he tried to get up but slipped and fell back.

Grissom sat down in the water.

"I'll help," offered David as he extended his hand to Grissom but Grissom pulled him down into the water.

The boy then grabbed Sara and soon they were sitting in the creek.

"It's cold," admitted Grissom.

David splashed the water into Grissom's face.

"I declare war," announced Grissom as he sat there returning the splashes.

Sara tried to cover her face.

She kept her eyes closed as she crawled out of the creek and onto the creek bank.

"Hey Sara, are we going to climb trees today?" asked David.

Grissom gawked at Sara.

She sat down in the tall grass, trying to wring the water out of her clothes.

"You and Sara have been climbing trees?" asked Grissom.

Sara rolled her eyes.

"Sorry Sara. I forgot. You said he would be mad," stated David.

"I'm not…mad…just concerned. She shouldn't be climbing trees until her leg is healed," explained Grissom.

"It's healed…see," exclaimed David as he pulled Grissom over to Sara.

David's small hands gently displayed Sara's knee. "That's a scar," he explained to Grissom. "It won't go away but it don't matter…she's pretty just the way she is."

Grissom smiled as he winked at her.

Sara rolled down her pants trying to hide the scar.

"Grissom?" asked the little boy.

"Yes, David?"

"Are you and Sara ever gonna have babies?"

Grissom sputtered as he glanced at Sara who was now getting up.

He grabbed her arm, forcing her to lean on him while keeping the weight off the knee.

"We…never talked about it," said Grissom.

"You both like kids….well, you like me," he corrected.

"David…"

"I was just wondering…cause Grandma she gets worried sometimes about me…like when Grandpa had a bad spell the other day. She started to cry and said she needed to find me a home so I'm not left alone in this world. I just thought…maybe I could…live with you someday."

Grissom's instinctively reached out and cupped the boy's face. "Who would take care of your grandmother?"

"She…she's getting forgetful. She said someday she would have to go to some…hospital home and I wouldn't be able to go with her."

Sara grabbed David's hand.

She hugged the small child and tried to speak but had to turn away not able to say the things she knew the young boy needed to hear.

Grissom cleared his throat. "David…we'll talk with your grandmother and try to locate some relatives…" he stopped as he saw the hurt in Sara's eyes. "And…if there are none then you can live with us…if you want to," he added.

David's eyes lit up. "You mean it? I could live in the big house….with you and Sara and Bruno?"

"Yes," smiled Grissom.

Sara was quiet.

Her head was turned so it was difficult to see if she objected to his plans.

She seemed quite taken with the young boy and he didn't think she would object to having the child around all of the time.

David smiled up at Sara. "Is that alright, Sara?"

She leaned down and kissed him.

"I'm going to go tell Grandma!" yelled David as he ran off toward the small farm house across the field.

He shot off before they could stop him.

Grissom stood in the field, watching as the child finally made it to his house. He could still hear the boy's shouts.

He turned back and looked at Sara.

"I…uhm I know I should have talked to you about this but…Sara, he's just a little boy and he's very attached to you. If you're not sure about this then…"

Bruno ran up and slung dirty water all over them.

"Bruno!" warned Grissom.

He whined and then hid behind Sara.

"I better get him back and give him a bath or he'll ruin the house."

They gave Bruno a bath together and then left him in the back yard to dry off in the sun.

They fixed salads for lunch and then cleaned up the kitchen.

She had said very little the entire time while he talked nonstop, feeling rather nervous about what he had done without consulting her.

Later that evening he found her sitting in the swing.

He leaned against the railing as he glanced at her. "You haven't said anything…about David. I know it was out of the blue but…"

"I….wwwant….hhhim," she said.

He smiled, relaxing against the railing. "Good. It's just that I felt he needed an answer immediately so there was no doubt…we wanted him."

Sara nodded.

He eased closer. "But…you don't seem…happy about it."

"Nneeeeds….lllllooove," she said. "Wwweee…. have…pprobblems."

"Sara…"

She stormed into the house but returned with notepad scribbling out a note and shoving it at him.

"_How can we offer him a home when…we're not even…a family?"_

"Yes! We are," he urged, sounding hurt by her accusation.

She pointed to the rest of the note.

"_I won't….I…won't have you running to her. It's me or her. I don't want her in our lives anymore."_

He glanced up quickly. "I've never run to her Sara…I never thought that there was a choice between you or her. I'm trying to get her out of our lives…our private lives anyway."

Her eyes widened at the insinuation.

"_She won't accept just friendship, Gil. You must know that…and I won't…I won't live my life wondering if she's trying to find a way to get you."_

"Then…I guess our friendship will have to end," he said quietly.

"_And you can accept this?"_

"What choice do I have?" he asked bitterly. "You don't want us to remain friends."

"_Don't turn this around! She ruined the friendship by her actions. I wouldn't remain friends with someone who treated you shitty…not even Greg. You said she was the one who wanted more than friendship. Or was that a lie like the one you told David."_

"I didn't lie to David!"

She took a deep breath. "Yyyyyou….lllll….iiiied."

"No, I didn't," he huffed.

She nodded angrily.

"Wwweee ….." she sighed in frustration.

His heart ached for the way she struggled.

"You're getting better," he softened.

"Wwweeee talked," she spat.

"About children?" he asked.

"Yyyyyoou ssssaid….ttttoooo lllllllaaaate. Jobs."

Before he could reply she marched into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water.

He followed on her heals.

He watched and waited for her to calm down.

"Sara, I take it you've felt different about…having a family and didn't tell me," he said softly.

She took a deep breath. "You…" she gave up trying to talk and grabbed her notepad.

"_You had a long list of reasons for not having a child. At the time, I just wanted you…I thought that someday you might change your mind…but you didn't."_

He raked his hand through his hair. "Well, David is six. It's not like we're starting from scratch and…I like…having him around. Besides, things…have changed," he emphasized.

"How?"

"Both of us is not working graveyard for one…and besides…maybe we need to be more than a couple," he said quietly.

"A family?" she asked.

He pulled her into his arms. "Sara, you've always been my family but…yes a family…with David."

She grinned but then her grin turned into a huge smile.

"We'll have to talk to Martha of course but…"

She kissed him into silence.

"This means we'll need to clean the upstairs thoroughly. I don't know how much time we have but…"

She interrupted him again with another kiss.

He groaned at the feel of her in his arms.

"Yyou mean it?" she questioned.

"Yes, I do," he said with a slight twinkle in his eye.

He laughed when she threw herself into his arms once more sending him off balance.

She grabbed his hand and started toward the stairs but he pulled her back.

She grinned when he began to pull her toward their bedroom.

"Upstairs can wait…for a little while," he said as he lifted her blouse, throwing it onto the floor.

She reciprocated by tossing his shirt to the side as well.

He groaned when she straddled his midsection on the bed.

_David is just what she needs..._

_What we both need..._

Note from author:

Looks like the Grissom household is increasing...

Take care!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

There was a tap on their door and both looked surprised as they scrambled to get dressed.

Grissom chuckled when she swatted at him when he groped her as she bent to get her bra.

Martha was already to her car door when they finally opened the door.

"Martha, please forgive us but we were taking a nap…our activities today wore us out," explained Grissom.

Sara felt a tinge of redness creep across her face as she looked past Martha and waved to David who sat in the car.

"Sara and I were going to come over and talk with you…about David," began Grissom.

"He…uhm has this idea that he is going to be coming to live with you," she said hesitantly.

"Sara and I have talked about it and we…would like for you to consider us…a home for David," stated Grissom as he took Sara's hand.

The woman wiped at her eyes. "You have no idea how much this relieves me," she cried. "James is…James is not doing well. I'm afraid they are not going to let him come home from the hospital this time. He doesn't like to be away from me…but I have David."

Sara reached over and grabbed Martha's hand.

She grabbed her notepad and wrote.

"_David can stay here anytime. If you need to be at the hospital then send him here. He will be safe…and loved."_

The old woman smiled at Sara. "I have to go back tomorrow but….maybe he could stay with you…starting in the morning. I'd like to have one night with him…before…." She didn't finish.

Sara nodded.

"Sara will be waiting for him at 9:00 a.m. or we can come and get him," offered Grissom.

"Thank you."

David waved at them from the back seat of the car as the old woman drove away.

Both were quiet.

"We need to finish upstairs," stated Grissom. "Of course…he could sleep in mother's old room."

"Up," Sara said.

They seemed giddy at the prospect of having David live with them.

It seemed almost surreal.

He winked at her as they started upstairs.

Each took a room as they began to wash the floors.

Grissom ordered new mattresses for the three rooms upstairs, citing they might have company in the future and it just made sense to have it completely furnished and usable.

They finished two of the rooms when there was the sound of a car.

Grissom's head bobbed up.

He knew it was Heather.

He wiped his hands on the towel and then glanced in Sara's direction.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Heather was sitting on the swing when he stepped out.

She looked rather pale and seemed quite different.

"I was going to come earlier but…I wasn't feeling well," she admitted.

"Are you sick?" he asked, concern in his voice.

She smiled slightly. "You've been working again. Are you ever going to get this place completed…but then I bet you're still having to do everything yourself."

"Heather…"

"I've been trying to call you for weeks…but you wouldn't answer your phone so I never left a message…not thinking you would listen."

"No, I probably wouldn't," he admitted. "Heather…there is nothing between us. I've told you…"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

His eyes widened in horror.

It was obvious he was panic stricken as he made his way to her.

"You might want to sit down before you fall down," she cautioned.

"Why…are you telling me this?" he asked quietly.

"Gil…you and I have never trusted anyone else. I've only been with you."

He swallowed. "That's…impossible. Heather…we didn't…I mean…I didn't…"

She chuckled slightly. "Yes, you did. You may not have been as "motivated" and I sort of did most of the work but...I am very much pregnant because of it."

"As I recall I woke up and you were..." he didn't finish still feeling disgust when he remembering awakening from a dream expecting to see Sara but instead saw Heather in the throes of an orgasm.

It had sickened him, stumbling out of the bed, not sure why he felt so groggy but it had been days since he'd slept.

In his eyes there was no excuse.

He'd committed adultery with someone he didn't even love.

His hand covered his mouth, bile threatening to erupt at the pain he was about to inflict on Sara.

He could not imagine having a child with Heather.

He could not imagine having any child without Sara as its mother.

He gripped the railing with his fists. "What…are you…what do you want…from me?"

She dabbed at her eyes. "What I can't have. I know…that you have no intention of leaving Sara. I understand that but….Gil, I raised Zoe on my own and look what happened. I don't want to do that again. I…was hoping you would be a father to our child."

He turned away immediately.

How could he possibly do that?

He felt ill at the thought of having to tell Sara.

"How far along are you?" he whispered.

"Four months."

He knew that but still, he needed to ask.

"I…didn't consider…an abortion. Is that what you want me to do?"

He wanted her to disappear.

He wanted to erase the last four months but then it would mean erasing the memories they'd made here on the farm as well as meeting David.

His hand covered his mouth as he stifled a slight sob.

He was never for abortion but then he'd never been faced with it before.

Despite everything he didn't want to end an innocent's life because of how it was created.

"Gil…"

"I didn't want this!" he yelled, realizing now that he was going to step up to the plate and be a father to this child and in all likelihood ruin his marriage with Sara.

"Very well then," she said as she flew off the front steps and made her way to her car.

"Heather wait!" he yelled as he went after her.

"I never thought you…I never thought you would blame…him," she whispered as she fainted.

He grabbed her into his arms as he quickly rushed her into the house.

He started toward his mother's bedroom but then cursed when he saw a muddy mess that Bruno had left earlier without their knowledge.

He had no choice but to set her on their bed as he opened his phone, intent to call an ambulance.

She woke suddenly. "What happened?" she whispered.

"You fainted. I'm calling an ambulance," he stated but she closed the phone.

"Don't. It's…my fault. I didn't…eat. I've not been able to hold much of anything down," she lied. "Give me a minute and then I'll leave," she sniffled.

"I can't let you drive…you could pass out again…hurt yourself and the baby," he said softly.

She closed her eyes, smiling inwardly, knowing that she had found his Achilles heel.

"Sara won't like this," she cried. "I don't want to come between you. I just thought that you…should know and…that you…would want to be a part of your son's life."

"It's a boy. You know already?"

"Yes."

He nodded as he glanced around, not sure if Sara remained upstairs or not.

"I'll get you something to eat," he offered as he disappeared for a minute and then returned with a cup of soup.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I shouldn't stay. I should…" she held her stomach as she cringed.

"What's wrong?" he asked nervously.

"I've not been feeling well," she said.

"I'm calling an ambulance," he said.

"No…no. Please just call my…private physician. He'll come. He's been monitoring the pregnancy ever since I found out. I haven't been doing well with my diabetes and…well, this just complicates it."

"When did you find out?"

"Right after Sara came back to Vegas. I thought she was returning to…get her things and leave…then we would be together. I've never been the type to chase after a man…I guess you were the exception. I just want to do what's best for our son," she wept. "I don't want to lose this one. Can you understand that? I lost Zoe…I just want our child…that's all."

He felt guilty for his selfish feelings, not taking into consideration the hell Heather was probably enduring as an unwed mother with little or no support system.

"I'll call him," he offered as he held her hand.

She finished the soup and pretended to drift off to sleep while he waited for the physician to arrive.

After an hour had passed Sara appeared in the doorway not sure what was happening downstairs.

One look at Heather in their bed and she took off.

He caught up with her just as she flew into the kitchen grabbing the phone.

He pulled her out onto the back porch so they would not be heard.

"I was just coming to…find you," he whispered.

She glared at him as she thrust his hands off her.

"She's not well. I've called her physician. He'll be here in a few minutes," he said.

"Our…bed!" she spat.

"Bruno got the other one muddy. The bed covers are a mess," he groaned.

He took a deep breath. "Sara…"

He was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

"That should be her physician," he said. "I'll be back. We need to talk."

Grissom ushered the doctor inside as he stood in the doorway.

"Come in Gil. I…don't mind if you're here," stated Heather.

Dr. Rollins opened his bag and began taking her vitals.

"Your blood pressure is up. Heather I advised you against driving. It's not safe. This is the fourth dizzy spell you've had. How is the nausea?"

"It comes and goes," she whimpered.

"Any spotting?" he asked.

"Some."

Grissom stepped further into the room.

He didn't know how to react.

He was still trying to adjust to being a father and now there was a chance that Heather might lose the baby.

He certainly did not wish any ill will on his unborn child.

"Bed rest for two weeks. You don't move unless you need to take a shower and then back to bed," he ordered.

"I can't stay here," she protested, trying to get up.

"Heather, the spotting could get worse. Are you willing to risk your unborn child?" he asked.

Heather stifled a sob. "I didn't think it would hurt. I didn't think I should tell him over the phone. This needed to be said in person. What have I done?" she cried.

"Getting upset can only bring on complications," Dr. Rollins warned.

"She's not going anywhere," stated Grissom. "She…can stay here."

"Good. I can come every day and check on her," he stated. "I expect you to get plenty of rest…and I expect you to make sure she does that," directing his last comment to Grissom.

"Yes, I will," Grissom said.

The doctor leaned forward as if he were checking her heart and whispered. "Your plan is working like a charm."

Sara sat upstairs in one of the bedrooms.

She heard voices outside and went to the window to see Grissom talking with the physician.

She fumed when Heather remained in her home, in her room, in her bed and by the look on Grissom's face she was not leaving any time soon.

He slowly made his way upstairs, not sure how Sara was going to take the news.

Already he felt sick to his stomach and wondered if he should keep the pregnancy from her until Langston was there in case a seizure hit.

Sara had tried to focus on her task but she didn't like it that Heather remained downstairs.

_It's never going to end…_

_She is going to be here…between us…_

_But now I have David to consider…_

Thoughts of David soothed her.

She looked around the room at the progress that had been made.

_It needs toys…_

_Maybe a shopping trip into town…_

The moment he stepped into the room, she pointed at Heather's car still in the driveway.

"Wwhy?" she asked.

"Sara, sit down," he said quietly as he motioned for her to sit on the bed.

By the look on his face, she did so without argument.

He looked stricken with grief.

"Gil?"

"I don't know how to tell you so I'm just going to come right out and…Heather is pregnant. She's having complications and can't be moved for…two weeks."

Concern then confusion followed by pure agonizing grief swept over her.

He went to touch her but her hands flew up, warning him off.

"Yours?"

He nodded.

He wasn't prepared for the slap which was heard downstairs in the bed where Heather snickered.

"It was one time…I wasn't thinking. I…"

Another slap hit him with such force, he staggered back.

When she swung at him again, he caught her wrist.

"Let…gggooo," she spat.

"You have a right to be angry."

She stood, hobbling toward the door but he blocked her.

"Where are you going?" he asked fearfully.

"Aaaawwwaay…fffrom you!"

"You can't," he said simply.

"Yyyeeesss, IIII ccccan!"

"Sara, Heather doesn't want to come between us. She only wants me…to be a father to her…to our child."

She tried to slap him again but he grabbed her wrist once more and this time did not let go even though she jerked and jerked until she cried out.

"Stop! You're hurting your wrist," he grieved.

"Llllet gggo!"

"Sara, we can work through this," he said as his voice faltered, letting a slight sob escape his lips.

"No!"

His jaw twitched. "You can't leave….you can't drive."

"Wwwwatch me."

Fear gripped his heart at the implications of losing her.

He knew he couldn't bear to lose her now.

There was no way he was going to let her go this time.

His jaw twitched. "Get behind the wheel and I'll call the police myself. You can't drive while you're on this kind of seizure medication."

"IIII"llll call NNNick."

"Have you forgotten David? He will be here tomorrow. He was coming to live with us. Are you going to run away…from him…abandon him just when he thinks he's found a home? Sara, he needs you."

The look on her face was pure agony.

It would have been less painful if he had slapped her.

He stepped toward her but she backed away until she had forced herself into the corner of the room.

It was killing him to know that he would go to any lengths to keep her, even blackmail if necessary.

"David needs us. Martha is going to bring him tomorrow. If…if you leave…then she may change her mind. What's going to happen to David then?"

"He…ccccould…llllive…wwwith me," she cried softly.

He didn't know he had it in him to be so cruel but then he remembered how desolate he felt when she left him the last time and he pressed on.

"You would just uproot him from the farm…the place he loves? You don't have a job….I submitted your resignation…although I'm not sure they would let you return given the fact that you used state resources for your own personal use. Besides, you're not physically…." She started to object and then he added, "emotionally able to work right now."

It was quite a blow to her as she gulped down her emotions.

He pressed further, knowing the words that would clench the deal, "If…if services got involved then they would never allow David to live…with you….perhaps me."

Her eyes widened then dulled.

_Like a butterfly in your collection…_

_Pinned…straight through the heart…_

He couldn't believe he was using the child to keep Sara from leaving.

"Sara you have to stay here…for David," he whispered. "Together we can get custody and then…adopt him. He could be ours in a matter of months."

She wanted to scream.

"What is it going to be?" he asked, trying to tap down his fear that she would reject the offer.

Her shoulders slumped as she cried, leaning back into the wall for support.

He attempted to take her into his arms but she shoved him away, her fists flayed at him until he had to grab her wrists once more.

"Stop!"

She stilled.

He knew by the look of desolation that she was giving in and it tore at him to go to such lengths.

He released her wrists but not before kissing them.

She wiped her wrists off in disgust.

"You will never touch me again," she vowed.

The words were quite a blow.

"You didn't even stutter," he choked.

His hand tried to stroke her hair but she slapped it away in mid-air.

"You'll…stay for David?" he asked, needing to hear for himself that she wouldn't leave him again.

"Yes," she said between clenched teeth.

His chest thudded loudly as he accepted her decision.

He had her but he knew he would never touch her again.

Note from author:

Okay...I know this was a hard chapter...remember GSR...and Yes it will be GSR with a happy ending.

Take care!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

He couldn't bear the pain in her eyes as she struggled to maintain control of her emotions.

Her declaration still rang in his ears.

"_You'll never touch me again."_

He was quite impressed with her speech even though it stabbed him right in the heart.

"I'll clean the guest bed downstairs. I'll move Heather…in there."

"Ddddon't bother!"

"What was I supposed to do, Sara? She's spotting…having complications. She came out here to tell me. I refused to answer my phone. I can't throw her out and risk a miscarriage. I can't…harm my own child. Can't you see that?"

She could and it hurt because she knew Heather's hooks were deeply imbedded into Grissom and there was no getting away this time.

"Sara…she'll be gone in two weeks."

"LLLLiar!"

"I promise."

"Jjjjust llllike…ooour bbbbed….ooours? Sssshhee wwwwould bbbeee gggone in…" she didn't finish as she stepped back taking a deep breath.

He grabbed her despite her protests and forced her to sit down on the bed.

"Calm down," he said softly. "You need to remain calm…to avoid another seizure."

She laughed in his face.

"Sara…your seizures are stress induced….you need to think about…David."

She knew he was right which made her feel even worse.

She would do anything for David and he knew it.

The easy thing to do was to call Brass or one of the guys.

She could be gone within a few hours.

Her eyes glanced toward the room intended for David.

As much as she loathed Heather, she was not about to be run out of her own home.

David needed her.

He'd quickly stolen her heart and she was not about to let him down.

_I won't let Heather win…_

_I won't let her risk David's future…_

_I just need time…_

_Time to get David and then once I have a job, we'll be gone…_

"Come down stairs and I'll fix the bed. I'll get us something to eat…you can lie down in the guest bedroom."

"Nnnnooo."

She scooted back on the bed, thankful she had cleaned the bed linens even though the mattress was old.

"You can't stay here," he protested.

"Gggget…ooout!" she cried.

"Sara…"

"Gggggggget….oooout," she struggled.

He headed for the door immediately. "I'll bring you something to eat with your medicine."

He hesitated a moment and then stood in the hallway.

Sara's head hit the pillow as she sobbed into it, trying to stifle the noise.

Grissom leaned against the wall as he swiped at his eyes.

Downstairs, Heather gloated over her latest accomplishment.

Her plan was going quite smoothly.

"_Soon, Sara will run just as she's done in the past," _thought Heather as she closed her eyes, a smile on her face_._

Grissom yanked the covers from the bed downstairs and threw them into the washer.

He tried to slip by the bedroom but Heather caught sight of him.

"Gil, is everything alright?" she whispered.

"I've got some things to do," he said.

"Of course," she whimpered. "You don't have…to stay here with me."

"I need to fix dinner," he explained.

Bruno walked into the room but halted the moment he saw Heather.

He backed out and ran to the back door, begging to go out.

"I'll check on you in a little while," he said.

Heather popped a pill into her mouth, grimacing at the taste but it did the trick.

She covered her mouth as she tried to get out of bed.

He was there instantly holding a trash can while she vomited.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "It's just the talk of food…my stomach has been in knots…I'm sorry," she pouted.

He caressed her back. "It's okay," he soothed.

He left her holding the trash can while he slipped into the bathroom and returned with a washcloth.

She fell back into the bed, letting him wipe her face.

"That feels good. You have no idea…how hard this has been. I was never sick…with Zoe," she lied.

She detested being pregnant with Zoe but then she was able to con a few bucks out of some wealthy gentlemen who had frequented her establishment.

The hush money secured her for several years.

Zoe came in handy.

Eventually she was sent to boarding schools where Heather continued to rake in money from the blackmail of several prominent officials.

Her "mistake" had turned quite lucrative.

She scoffed at maternal instincts, having little or none for Zoe.

When she was killed however, she saw a means to wrap her tentacles around Grissom like a vise.

At first she enjoyed her taunts at Sara, letting her think Grissom was very much in love with her.

In truth, he had been a good friend or at least tried to be while Heather conned her way more securely into his life.

In the beginning it was the challenge, nothing more.

She enjoyed making Sara miserable.

Strangely Heather had miraculously fallen in love with Grissom.

Love was not an easy emotion she cared for but the feelings she had for Grissom was stronger than any she'd ever had for anyone including her own child.

There was just one problem, Sara Sidle.

She had cursed inwardly when Grissom had declared to her his love for Sara.

Unless Sara was out of the way, Grissom would never allow anything but friendship.

Her plan changed from taunts to something more sinister.

One way or another, Sara Sidle was going to be removed from Grissom's life.

Getting pregnant was the last thing Heather was willing to endure but if it meant getting Grissom's undivided attention then it was a minor inconvenience.

She'd been pregnant before.

She'd hoped that she would have been able to conceive his child but then Grissom had interrupted the "moment."

When the pregnancy test came back negative, she had to resort to another plan.

She smiled, remembering the chance meeting of the young man in the coffee shop, whose features resembled Grissom.

_The man grinned as he caught sight of the low cut blouse that was quite revealing._

_His hand settled on her thigh. _

_She leaned forward and squeezed his testicles bringing tears to his eyes._

"_I didn't give you permission to touch. You didn't say please," she purred._

"_What…kind…of bitch are you?" stuttered the man._

"_The kind that has you by the balls…and I like to break balls," she said kissing him on the cheek._

_She released him and he stumbled back into his chair, gasping for air._

_She clucked her tongue at him. "I like your eyes…blue…as well as…the hair."_

_The man struggled to get out of his seat, holding his groin but she stopped him, handing him a card._

"_Go there and I'll take very good care of you," she smiled._

"_No thanks," he muttered._

"_A little pain for a lot of pleasure," she offered._

_He grabbed the card and fled while she laughed._

It had paid off.

Heather had gotten pregnant.

Oh she knew she would have to ensure that any blood test run would indicate that Grissom was the father.

She had plenty of doctors in her dominion to pull that off.

She just needed Sara to run one more time.

Heather knew how painful Sara's leaving had been on Grissom.

It had crippled him emotionally.

"_Third time is a charm,"_ she thought gleefully.

_Grissom won't be able to recover from that kind of loss…_

_He'll come to me…._

Once Grissom was handed a baby with blue eyes and curly hair…well, if it looked like her, it didn't matter.

Grissom would stay with her, forgetting about Sara, the woman who had broken his heart.

Heather grabbed Grissom's hand as she pretended to feel a twinge.

"I'm scared, Gil," she whispered.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital," he said.

"No…they wouldn't be able to do anything….for him. Just sit with me…please. Hold my hand," she wept.

He glanced toward the ceiling, realizing Sara lay in the bed just above this room.

He gritted his teeth, knowing that it would be several hours before he could focus his attention on Sara.

He hoped she would come downstairs to get her medicine as well as something to eat.

Grissom tried to pull a chair toward the bed but Heather clung to his hand forcing him to sit there next to her.

She flung her body at him and he had no choice but to hold her.

An hour passed and yet Heather remained awake.

"It's been an hour. You seem better," he said.

"I didn't want to say…anything but…I think I'm…bleeding," she wept.

He didn't know what to do.

He tried to yank back the covers to check the blood flow but she refused to let go of the quilt.

"Take my mind off it," she pleaded. "Talk to me…recite something."

His mind was mush.

He grabbed the first book on the dresser and groaned.

It was a book of love sonnets Sara had given him for Christmas one year.

His voice was flat as he read the words to her.

They felt odd coming from his mouth as he sat beside Heather while wondering if Sara could hear his voice.

He lowered it until it was almost a whisper, gritting when Heather snuggled closer to him.

Upstairs, Sara could hear voices below but then it became almost quiet.

She didn't care that he had not returned as he said he would but it seemed odd that he would allow her to skip a dosage, berating her each time she was late after being with David.

When Grissom did not return after several hours, Sara thought he'd decided to leave her alone as she requested.

If it were not for David, she would not bother with the medication or eating for that matter but the truth was, she didn't want to disappoint the little boy.

She slipped through the dark house, grabbing her medicine along with some bottles of water, fruit and snacks.

She started back toward the stairs when she heard Grissom's voice, recognizing the sonnet immediately.

The contents dropped from her hands.

Heather looked irritated by the noise as she pretended to be struggling to sleep.

"I'll be back," he whispered. "I have to talk with the lab…delay my return," he lied.

He slipped out of the room and caught Sara trying to pick up the items.

He felt horrible that she'd finally come down, no doubt famished. "I'm sorry. I was just coming to…"

She slapped the items from his hand as he tried to help.

"Dddon't!" she spat.

She grabbed what she could and then tried to go back upstairs gritting through the pain as her knee protested.

He picked up the remaining items and returned to the kitchen, intent to fix her something more than what she'd grabbed from the kitchen.

Once she'd reached the top of the stairs, he quickly ascended the stairs, taking two at a time, bringing with him a couple of sandwiches he'd made.

He almost caught the door with his face as she shoved it shut.

She grumbled when there was no lock on it.

He opened the door and stepped inside, glancing at the items she had stashed in the top drawer of the dresser.

She closed it immediately.

"I called the department store. The mattresses should arrive in a day or so."

She turned, making her way back to the bed, needing to get off the knee.

"I thought we could talk about…David," he said. "I think this room…would be safer…for him. If anything happened, he could easily climb out on top of the roof where he could jump…or climb down the trellis. See this room is just…above…ours."

"Heather's," she spat but then realized Heather probably heard her melt down earlier.

As soon as he left, she intended to change rooms, not wanting to hear what went on downstairs.

"I thought we could go into town and purchase a few things…to decorate his room. Make him feel more…at home," he urged.

She'd thought about that but there was absolutely no way she was going anywhere with him.

She longed to talk with the guys but things had been quite hectic at the lab and since she was unable to speak on the phone, the lines of communication had all but dwindled.

"When Heather's doctor returns tomorrow, we could go…with David," he offered.

"No," she said.

"No you don't want to make David feel at home with a room decorated for a boy or…no you don't want to go…with me?"

"You," she snarled.

He swallowed understanding her hostility, "I'm sure I could get…one of the guys to…come and take you," he said softly.

"Nick."

It figured.

She would probably get him to beat him to a bloody pulp and right now, he felt he deserved it.

"I was thinking…about Ray…or Jim."

Of course, Jim would probably shoot him.

He hoped Ray would be available.

"Fine," she miffed.

"Sara…we can't be hostile to one another in front of David," he began. "He's going to need our support…both of us."

She opened a bottle of water and took her medicine.

"I can some sandwiches," he offered.

"I…dddon't ….wwwant …ttthhhem," she spat.

"Sara, you have to eat," he reasoned.

She bit into an apple.

"You need protein," he countered.

She opened the drawer and took out a pack of peanut butter crackers.

He sighed.

He couldn't really complain since she was at least eating.

"I know…this is going to be hard," he said softly. "But…we can get through this. Sara we love each other and…"

"I hate you!" Sara seethed in a hushed voice, not wanting Heather to overhear anything more.

"You don't mean that," he swallowed. "Once…the shock…wears off, you'll see that nothing has changed between us. For God's sake Sara, we've been so happy these past eight weeks…we've made love just about every…"

"Yyyyou…cccommittted…aaadddultery. I'll…never…fforgive…you. I'll…nnnnever ffforget…yyyyou'll…nneeevver…hhave me again."

He grabbed her at that moment, forcing her to kiss him.

His tongue dove into her mouth and she struggled but he pressed his body against her, forcing her to accept the intrusion.

His lips were warm and needy as he stroked the inside of her mouth bringing her to the edge.

Any minute her body would commit treason and take over.

He withdrew suddenly, trying to catch his breath.

"I'll spend the rest of my life, trying to make up for the hurt I've caused….but it will never be over…between us."

She burst into tears.

"Honey, please…don't let this come between us," he whispered.

"You...bbbroke your vows," she wept.

"I didn't want to Sara. I've never wanted anyone but you…I still only want you," he grieved.

Despite the anger and hurt, his body reacted to her closeness.

He couldn't hide his desire as he leaned forward.

"Just a single kiss, Sara…and I want you," he breathed. "I'll always want you…crave you."

She swallowed as if she were going to be sick.

She closed her eyes no longer wanting to see his face.

"Sara, you want me too. I could tell. Just let me show you how much I love you," he pleaded as his hand cupped her face but she jerked away from his touch.

"I despise you!" she screamed.

Heather chuckled downstairs as she rolled over, knowing that there was no need to stay awake any longer.

Sara was not going to give in to Grissom's basic needs and sooner or later he would come to her.

She was sure of it just as she was sure Sara would run after a few taunts.

Heather smiled as she closed her eyes.

Note from author:

Well the last chapter did the trick by bringing out some of those readers who don't normally leave a review…LOL. I thought it would get a few comments. I always find it amusing that when I post a story there is usually sixty author alerts but only a hand full that leave a review. Don't be shy…and yes, this chapter helped clear up a few things. I am posting early because I am completely swamped tonight. So please be on your honor and leave a review for both chapters. Heather has forgotten one thing...Sara is much stronger than she is.

Take care!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

He couldn't sleep that night as he wandered through the house, checking on Heather and then Sara.

He was glad she'd moved to another room.

He felt it was better since Heather would not be able to hear her, knowing that it would only hurt Sara further if she knew that Heather could hear her.

He also did not want Heather to become upset and demand to leave.

He raked his hand through his hair.

This would surely send him to an early grave.

Doubt gnawed at him about the baby's conception but there was very little he could do at the moment.

He was certain that Heather was pregnant.

He'd played chess with her too many times to know how her mind worked.

Even if it wasn't his, he couldn't risk the life of an unborn.

Sara would agree with him if she were not dealing with the pain of his infidelity.

He couldn't blame her.

He loathed himself at the moment.

The best thing at the moment was to get Sara to focus on David's needs.

She had looked forward to shopping for the young boy and he did not want that to be spoiled for her.

He'd spoken with Langston as well as Brass.

While both offered, he chose Brass since he knew Sara would be more inclined to confide in Jim rather than Ray.

He knew that his choice could be detrimental to his health.

Langston had not judged while Brass had threatened him within an inch of his life.

Still, he chose Brass, putting Sara's needs first.

She'd confided in Brass before and looked at the man as a father figure.

He prayed that Jim would be an emotional outlet for Sara.

He just prayed that Sara would return.

He'd ventured as close as he dared to Sara that night, fearful of the emotional stress.

Langston promised he would come out to check on Sara and this helped to ease his worries.

By morning, he was frazzled, nodding off on the couch.

He heard a slight noise coming from the bedroom and stepped inside to check on Heather.

She rolled to her side, grumbling about her stomach.

"You're probably hungry," he said.

Her hand grabbed his bringing it to her abdomen.

He paled, the touch too intimate.

His eyes misted, betrayal gnawing at his insides.

At that moment, he would have given anything for Sara to be pregnant with his child.

The thought that he would experience fatherhood with anyone but Sara, saddened and sickened him to his very soul.

Heather took his expression to mean he was overjoyed with the thought of being a father.

"Our child will be brilliant," she crooned. "He'll look like you. I know it," she smiled.

Grissom swallowed.

He imagined what it would be like to have a girl that looked like Sara.

He'd never given fatherhood much thought but he would have wanted a little girl, a girl resembling Sara in every way.

He snatched his hand back as if her touch scorched his hand.

"I'll fix you something to eat," he offered, trying to diffuse his odd behavior.

"I'm…not sure I can hold anything down," she pouted.

He opened her bedroom door and stepped out just as Sara was coming through the kitchen.

It looked damaging.

There he stood in his pajama bottoms, no shirt and leaving their room that was now occupied by Heather.

Accusing eyes glared at him.

"I slept on the couch," he blurted but it didn't matter.

She was gone once more as Heather smiled at the timing.

She couldn't have planned it better herself.

This time Sara had taken her things from the bathroom as she made her way back up the stairs.

"Sara…limit your trips," he worried. "I can help…." He didn't finish.

She flipped him off and his shoulders slumped as he made some toast along with some tea, taking it to Heather.

She smiled gratefully.

He ached to soothe Sara in some way.

He knew that the visit into town was just what she needed but just the thought of watching her leave would undoubtedly be excruciating for him.

Another hour later, Sara returned down the stairs.

He knew she was going to wait for David.

"He's not walking over," he called out. "Martha is going to bring him."

She sat in the swing with her arms folded.

"Jim said he would come right after shift," stated Grissom as he wiped his weary eyes.

Within minutes a car pulled in.

Sara stood nervously, hoping that Martha would not change her mind.

David slowly made his way out of the car.

Sara's heart thudded at the sight of him.

Before, he had been excited about coming to live with them.

"Hey David," said Grissom softly.

Grissom glanced at the old woman, giving her a confused look.

"James is….he may go at any minute. I didn't want David to have to sit in the hospital waiting room…alone."

"I'm sorry," said Grissom.

David took off toward the barn.

"He's very upset. I think he remembers when his parents died," she grieved. "He's had to grow up rather quickly."

Sara was already following after the young boy.

"If anyone can reach him, Sara can," offered Grissom.

"He loves her so much…as well as you," she added.

"We'll take good care of him," promised Grissom.

"I have to get back…to the hospital," she sniffled.

Grissom handed her a card. "Call us…if you need anything," he urged.

"Thank you," she cried.

Grissom put the suitcases onto the front porch and then headed to the barn.

He griped the moment he heard Heather calling.

He ran back into the house.

She was holding the trash can as she vomited.

He rubbed her back.

She gasped a few times and then settled into the bed.

"I think it's over," she sniffled.

"Perhaps a shower," he offered.

She smiled. "Yes, a shower would be great, Gil. If you'll just…"

She pulled the covers back and sat up.

She extended her hand as if expecting him to carry her to the bathroom but he grasped her arm and led her slowly.

"I talked with a friend, Ray, a doctor and he said that you should be able to walk back and forth to the bathroom."

She sniffled. "I'm not sure what I can and can't do. I just don't want to risk…our baby."

Once she was inside the bathroom, she began removing her clothes.

He quickly shut the door but stayed near it.

"My doctor is going to bring my things," she advised.

"Just use…our toiletries….until then."

She saw his robe and pajama top hanging on the back of the door.

"Thank you, Gil."

He was gone in a flash.

"Gil?" she huffed when she opened the door and saw that he was gone.

"What the hell is that bitch up to now?" whined Heather as she shut the door and grimaced at her surroundings. "It's so….Sara," she whispered in disgust.

Sara held David in her arms while he cried.

She glared at Grissom when he climbed up into the loft, breathing heavy as if he'd ran to the barn.

"Grandpa…was always good to me," he cried. "He….reminded me…of Daddy."

"I'm…sorry David," whispered Sara. "My…father is…ddead too."

"I still miss them and now…Grandpa is going to die. Grandma said…she won't live without…Grandpa. What happens if I can't live without…them?"

Sara held him tight, pressing a kiss on his head. "It hurts…but…you'll…gggo…oonn."

"Promise me, you won't leave me, Sara?" he cried.

His head popped up when he saw Grissom. "Promise me Grissom," cried David.

"I promise," said Grissom boldly.

Sara looked away as she closed her eyes tight, not caring when tears began to fall.

"Sara?" David pleaded.

"I promise," she whispered.

Jim arrived just as they walked David back to the house.

He stood on the front porch with his hands in his pocket.

He shook David's hand and introduced himself as "Uncle Jim."

"Sara thought it would be fun to go into town and buy some things for your room," stated Grissom.

David's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Sara grinned as he began to pull her down the steps but then stopped. "I'm sorry Sara. I forgot about your leg."

"It's…okay," she soothed.

Brass grinned. "It's good to hear your voice again."

"Sara can talk real good. I've taught her a lot of new words," explained David.

"That's great. I'm thinking of a few I'd like to teach Grissom," muttered Brass.

Sara gently shook her head as she placed her hand on Jim's arm.

"Come on Grissom," stated David as he extended his other hand.

"I can't David. A friend is sick and I have to stay here…with her," he explained.

"A friend?" he asked.

"Yes, but you go on with Jim and Sara and…"

David was already in the door of the house.

Grissom and the others hurried after him.

He stood there looking at the stranger who was wearing Grissom's shirt as well as his robe.

"She's wearing your clothes, Grissom," laughed David. "She…looks funny."

Heather glared at the child and he backed away but she quickly softened her features. "Hello…David, it is?" she asked.

"Yes. I live here now," he announced.

Heather looked shocked.

"Heather, this is David. Sara and I…are going to adopt David," explained Grissom.

David beamed.

Heather's mouth turned into a cruel smile.

"Sara…congratulations," Heather said. "You're finally going to be…a mother."

Sara's hands went protectively to David.

"Lllet's….gggo," she whispered.

"You're getting better," smiled Heather. "I understood…every word."

Sara marched out of the house with David in tow.

She'd made it to the Jim's vehicle when she felt a hand on her arm.

She wanted to jerk it off but David was there.

Grissom pulled her into his arms.

He felt her body shudder in anger.

He kissed her on the temple as he whispered. "I love you, Sara."

Her head turned into his and he felt hopeful until she whispered softly. "I hate you, Gilbert."

He released her.

David opened the car door. "What's this?" asked David.

"This, my new friend is called a booster seat. It helps you look out the window better."

"There's a present…in the seat," noted David.

"I couldn't come empty handed now, could I?" teased Brass. "It's a gift for you."

David pulled out the Nintendo DS along with some headphones and several games.

"Wow, I saw this on television," smiled David. "Thank you…Uncle Jim."

"You're welcome kiddo," he said as he started to fasten the seat belt but David waved him off.

"I can do this," he stated.

Brass shut the door and then discreetly knocked Grissom's hand off Sara's waist.

"We'll talk later. I think you're needed…with that thing…in there," he griped.

Grissom whispered something to David and then retreated to the front porch where he stood not sure if he could watch them drive away.

His heart thudded loudly as he gripped the railing for support.

_Please come back Sara…_

_Please don't leave me again…_

David waved at him and he returned the wave.

Grissom extended his hand to Sara but she turned away.

Brass extended his arms and Sara fell into them.

"We'll talk once David…gets hooked up…he won't be able to hear us," grinned Brass.

On the drive, Brass whispered softly to Sara letting her know how much he detested Grissom and what he did.

He made it clear that he was there for her…not Grissom.

He also made it clear that if she wanted to leave then she could stay with him.

She sadly shook her head and whispered, "David."

He didn't like the situation but he also knew that Sara loved Grissom deeply.

"He claims it only happened once. I'll have to admit Sara. He was in pretty bad shape after Warrick's death…particularly after you left…again."

The word "again" hit a raw nerve.

Perhaps it was her fault.

If she had stayed, he wouldn't have turned to Heather.

"How bad?" she whispered.

"He had insomnia…lost weight…stopped eating. He started ignoring calls from the lab."

"I noticed that," she admitted.

"He hated to go home but he hated to go to the lab. One day I found him sitting in his vehicle in the parking lot at Frank's. I asked him what he was doing and he said…he was waiting for shift…it was four hours away."

She leaned back closing her eyes.

She felt retched.

"You up to this?" he asked.

She knew it was a mistake to take the pain medication without eating anything substantial.

"Lunch…a big…lunch," she announced.

He grinned. "I can arrange that."

They had quite a time picking out bed linens and wall décor.

She learned that David had very few toys.

She purchased an array of children's books, knowing how he loved to read.

His eyes lit up when she made her selections.

"For me?" he asked.

"For you," announced Sara.

Lunch was great as Nick and Greg met them and she got to introduce them to David.

She frowned when they presented David with more toys.

"It's a bat and ball," said Nick. "Every kid needs these."

Greg had purchased a football. "My mom never let me play ball but you are going to be cool and let him…aren't you?"

"Greg," Sara warned.

Nick kissed her on the forehead. "It's good to hear your voice again."

"So…where's Grissom?" asked Nick.

Sara became quiet.

The guys exchanged looks.

"Grissom has a…girlfriend…" Sara stopped David as she disappeared into the ladies room.

"Is Sara alright?" asked David.

"Sara is fine. Girls…like to go to the bathroom…a lot," emphasized Brass.

"She….looked sad," observed David. "I don't think she likes Grissom's girlfriend."

The guys glanced at Brass.

"She's worried…that she's not making a good impression…on you," explained Brass.

"What's a good impression?"

"Whether you like something or not," added Brass.

"I like Sara…a lot…Grissom too. I don't like that woman…she looked mean."

"What woman?" questioned Greg.

Brass shook his head to warn off any further questions.

"We'll talk about this…later," urged Brass as they saw Sara returning to the table.

Nick fumed under his breath as he whispered to Greg, "Heather," he gritted.

Brass nodded discreetly as both of the young men fumed under their breath.

Nick reached out and took Sara's hand. "I've missed you. Any chance that you could come and visit for awhile?" he offered.

Sara glanced at Brass who quickly turned his head.

"I…hhhave David…nnnow," she got out.

"Grissom is a very lucky man," grumbled Nick.

"Bring David," suggested Greg.

Sara shook her head.

"You know where to find us if you need anything…I mean anything," declared Nick.

Sara squeezed his hand as she smiled slightly at both of them.

David smiled at Sara.

"Sara and Grissom are going to adopt me," he announced. "Sara is going to be my new Mom and Grissom will be my Dad."

Greg and Nick looked shocked but smiled at the young boy.

"You'll have the best Mom," stated Nick.

"Yeah, Sara is cool," added Greg.

"So is Grissom. He knows how to do all kinds of things around the house but he still finds time to play with us….at least he did before that woman came to stay. Sara, how long is she going to be there?"

"Two weeks," whispered Sara.

"I don't think Grissom likes her very much. He looks sad every time she calls his name. It's like he doesn't want to be with her," yawned David.

"I think we better get you home," stated Brass.

Note from author:

From the mouth of a babe…oohh I can't wait until the next chapter….

Take care,

Penny


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

The minute the doctor arrived, Grissom slipped out of the room, relieved to be away from Heather.

He tried calling Brass but he refused to answer his phone.

He had wanted so much to go shopping with Sara and David and hoped everything was going well.

David had been excited to decorate his own room.

He prayed it would distract the little boy from thinking about his ailing Grandfather.

Grissom glanced around the upstairs realizing there was still much to do.

He rolled up his sleeves and finished the cleaning, fearful Sara would try to do it herself.

By the time he'd finished, the rooms smelled clean and fresh.

He knew Sara liked the aroma of Lavender so he filled the air with Lavender spray.

Now, David's room was ready to be decorated.

He tried to imagine what Sara would purchase to decorate the room.

He grumbled when he realized he'd not given her their credit card but then she probably would not have taken it.

He wiped his face with his hand, feeling very weary, staring wearily at the room that she now claimed.

_God Sara, you've got to believe me…_

_I've always wanted you…_

_How did I make such a mess of my life…of yours…_

He glanced down and saw her notepad sitting on her bed.

Quickly he jotted down a letter.

_Sara,_

_I wanted so much to be with you and David. I'm sorry for causing you so much pain and heartache but I swear I never meant to hurt you. I've never loved anyone but you. I'll never love anyone but you. Please, honey, don't let this come between us. We can start again…with David. I'll do anything to fix this._

_Love,_

_Gil_

He set the notepad on the bed once more, hoping that she would read it that evening.

He stepped outside into the old flower garden and picked a bouquet of wild flowers placing them in a vase just as his phone rang.

It was Nick.

He answered it but Nick was already yelling at him before he could utter a single word.

"I used to think I admired you," yelled Nick.

"I'm sorry I let you down," mourned Grissom.

"You've let all of us down," gritted Nick. "Especially Sara!"

"I know that Nick but I'll make it up to her," he pleaded, needing to gain the others trust if he intended to work things out with Sara, afraid they would encourage her to leave him.

"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen. You think you can bully Sara into staying because of David but that's not going to happen!" He warned.

Grissom swallowed. "Sara and I are going to adopt David."

"He deserves a decent father! Just like Sara deserves…"

Grissom listened to Nick's tirade.

When he finished, there was a long pause between the two men.

"Nicky, I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I was but I will try to be a better man than what I have been. I just need a chance…a chance for Sara and me to work through this. If you can't be supportive of our marriage or at least give me a chance…then you are not welcome here."

"Oh is that a threat?" challenged Nick.

"Nick, Sara and I need time to work through this…without any further interference."

"You think you can keep her away from me?" yelled Nick. "I won't let you treat her like some…"

"That's enough Nick," warned Grissom.

"Just remember, if Sara wants to leave then she will…with my help," threatened Nick.

Grissom took a gulp of air.

His team had been his family for years.

_I've let them down…_

_Just like I let Warrick down…_

He took the flowers to Sara's room and placed them on her dresser as he plopped down on her bed, wiping the wetness from his face.

_Please don't leave me again, Sara…_

_I couldn't bear it…_

He stretched out, groaning at the scent of her on the pillow.

"I won't let you go," he gulped. "I don't think I can bear to lose you again."

He glanced at his wedding finger.

Already, the indentation from the band was disappearing.

"I'll go into town and buy new ones," he vowed.

"She won't wear it," he choked. "She hates me. I see it every time she looks at me."

When they returned to the house, the doctor's car was parked in the driveway.

Grissom stepped out immediately.

"So how was the trip?" He asked David trying to sound cheerful.

"It was fun," quipped David.

He pulled on Grissom's hand. "Come and see what Sara got for my room."

Grissom started up the stairs but Dr. Rollins called him back.

He bristled, seeing how Brass was watching his every move.

Sara on the other hand, took David by the hand and headed upstairs.

"I'll be there in a minute," stated Grissom.

"Hurry," urged David. "You can help me put my room together."

Grissom stepped into the hallway to speak with the physician.

"I don't want her to stand for any length of time…not even to shower unless someone is with her," ordered Heather's doctor.

"If it's that serious, perhaps she should be admitted for a few days until…"

"Heather never liked hospitals. It would only add further stress to her delicate condition. She needs to eat better…as well as…it would help if she had something…someone to distract her…keep her mind off the threatened miscarriage."

Grissom gritted his teeth.

He would be spending every waking minute with Heather when he needed to spend it with Sara and David.

The physician stepped back into the bedroom.

Brass stepped close to Grissom and whispered. "You better pray that this adoption works out for Sara because if it doesn't, I'll personally flatten your ass and then take Sara out of this mess."

"You think I liked hurting her?" whispered Grissom, trying to keep his voice down so no one else heard the conversation.

"You do have a fetish for dominatrix," sneered Brass.

"Don't stand there and act so self righteous. You cheated…on your wife…plenty of times but I…"

Brass shoved Grissom against the wall. "My wife couldn't keep her legs closed for even the mail man so don't compare my wife to Sara or…me to you. Sara didn't cheat! Sara would never even look at another man. I didn't cheat until she flaunted it in my face. After she got knocked up by one of her losers and I still claimed the child as my own."

"Jim, I'm sorry. I was out of line. I never meant to sleep with Heather. I told you it happened once…and then I went to Costa Rica."

"Once is all it takes…but then we are taking your word for it," Brass replied.

His eyes widened at the accusation but then he hung his head, ashamed of what he'd done.

"Ever since we came here to the farm, it has been good. Sara and I…we were happy…we can be happy again. And now we have a chance to adopt David. I won't let anything screw that up for Sara. She loves that boy."

Brass shoved Grissom once more before he released him. "Just remember, I'm going to be watching and if Sara wants out of this hell, then you can count on me to be in your face."

Laughter floated down the stairs.

"Go be with your bimbo while I visit a little more with Sara and David," warned Brass as he headed upstairs.

Grissom stepped out onto the porch needing some air.

Within a few minutes Brass returned shoving the vase of flowers at him.

"You put these in the wrong room," he muttered. "By the way she wadded up your note but she wrote a reply."

Grissom took the vase and stared at the note.

_Stay out of my room. I don't want your filthy hands near my things. David is the only reason I am still here. There will never be an "us" again. _

"Want me to give Heather the flowers?" sneered Brass.

Grissom tossed the flowers out setting the vase on the porch as he slumped down into the swing.

His phone rang and he groaned when he saw that it was Greg.

He let it roll over to voice mail.

"Not answering your phone?" asked Brass.

"It's Greg. I've already spoken with Nick," sighed Grissom.

"You've really let a lot of people down," stated Brass.

Grissom nodded in defeat.

"David is asking about you but I wouldn't go running up there just yet. I'm sure your 'girlfriend' as David calls her will no doubt call you back."

"I'll try to explain to…David," whispered Grissom.

"Yeah, you do that so Sara doesn't have to lie for your ass."

"Jim, can we call a truce?"

"Not likely."

"How is Sara? She shouldn't be climbing up and down those stairs with her knee," worried Grissom.

"Well, she wouldn't have to do that if you…"

Grissom stood up, raising his hand, "Enough!"

"Sara is enjoying her time with David. He's not had a lot in his life and she just spent a small fortune on him. Don't go up and ruin it for them."

"I intended to give her my credit card but…she left…and I just didn't think."

He sat down feeling sick to his stomach.

Brass tried to hide his concern as he looked at his friend's condition.

"Are you serious about getting this adoption processed quickly?"

"Yes," but then Grissom glanced at the ground, realizing that once David was adopted, Sara might try to take the child and run.

"David can live with us but still be close to his grandparents."

"You've got it all planned, haven't you?" sneered Brass.

Grissom jumped up. "I didn't plan for this to happen! If I had wanted to be with Heather I never would have gone to Costa Rica. I would have just sent the divorce papers! Jim, I love Sara…I always have…I always will."

He wiped the sweat from his brow even though it was a cool afternoon.

"Haven't you ever done something that you regretted?" asked Grissom in a pained voice.

"Yeah. I regret that I ever okayed your trip to San Francisco all those years ago."

Grissom's phone rang again.

This time it was Catherine.

He answered the phone but stepped away from the porch.

"How are things there?" she asked.

"Cath…if you're calling about Heather then…"

"I heard…but I also know you don't love her," stated Catherine.

"I've made a mess of things," Grissom replied as he took a deep breath, finding it hard to breathe.

"Gil, are you alright?"

"Have you called to chew me out also? Threaten to help Sara leave me?"

"You know what I think about cheaters so I guess there's no point in telling you. You can delete Greg's message. I heard from ranting in the locker room which is why I'm calling."

"I'm sure it sounds a lot like Nick's," he griped.

"I take it, Nick called also?" she asked.

"Brass delivered his message in person."

"They're upset…and worried about Sara."

"I didn't hurt her on purpose. I never wanted any of this to happen. I feel like I've not had any control over anything ever since…" he stopped as he took a gulp of air.

"Ever since Warrick died," she finished.

"He and Sara were very close," Grissom mourned.

"Gil, you were very close to Warrick. You took his death really hard….we all did. I guess I was too busy trying to survive myself and didn't see how much you needed someone."

"Don't give me an excuse for what I did. I still can't believe…God Catherine, I look at Sara and all I see is pain."

"She's hurting…give her time. It took me awhile to get through Eddie's infidelity….but I did. I even took the bastard back several times."

"Why?" he had to ask.

"I loved him."

Grissom glanced up to see Sara staring out the window.

She turned quickly from sight.

"Sara loves you that much also. Just be supportive…give her space….and Gil, stay the hell away from Heather," warned Catherine.

"I'm trying Cath. You have no idea how hard I am trying."

"Try harder…I can guarantee Heather is going to use this baby to put a wedge between you and Sara."

"She said she didn't…want that."

Catherine laughed. "Count on it. Gil, she's wanted you from the beginning and she intends to have you…despite the casualties."

Grissom swallowed. "Her physician doesn't want her moved for two weeks."

"You think the stress is good for Sara? I mean…"

"You think I haven't considered that? You think I like seeing how painful this is to her? I can't let her leave…she won't come back this time."

Catherine's heart went out to her friend. "You're afraid she's going to leave you again."

"She has before…I can't…let that happen," he choked.

"Gil, you can't force someone to stay. I couldn't keep Eddie. Sooner or later…"

"I know," he choked. "I know she's going to leave again."

"Gil, are you alright?" she asked, worried about her friend.

"I've got to go," he lied. "I'll talk with you later."

He leaned against the tree in the yard, trying to breathe in deeply.

He hunched over, heaving again and again.

He struggled through breaths as it continued.

Finally, he stood upright, leaning against the tree for support.

_I have to let her go…_

_If she wants to leave, I have to let her…_

_It's what's best for Sara…_

_If she leaves me, I have nothing…_

He swiped his hand across his face as Sara watched from above.

Grissom leaned back, closing his eyes as he tried to steady himself.

His fingers fumbled with the medicine bottle in his pocket.

_The pills Heather has been taking are not for nausea..._

_It does the opposite..._

_Does she know this or did someone switch her medicine as well?_

He gritted his teeth at the implication.

Grissom looked up to see Sara in the window.

_If I let you go, would you come back?_

_Or would you leave for good this time..._

Note from author:

So Grissom has been paying attention...Heather is not as smart as she thinks... Hurry up and review and I'll try to release another chapter in the morning… so yes, there will be two chapters posted tomorrow...

Take care!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One:**

Langston arrived just as Dr. Rollins was about to leave.

They exchanged handshakes.

"Heather is not going to…like another doctor…"

"Langston is a C.S.I…now," explained Grissom.

"Oh…well in that case," stated Dr. Rollins.

Langston waited until Dr. Rollins was gone.

"How are you?" asked Langston.

It was a loaded question.

"I need…advice," mourned Grissom.

They sat down on the front porch as Grissom quietly spoke to Langston.

He didn't have to mention the hostility from the guys since Langston was already privy to it.

Even Catherine had a few harsh words to say about Grissom but she added that Grissom was still considered part of their team which Greg and Nick scoffed at.

"I'm not condoning what I did," said Grissom sadly.

"I understand things were hard after the death of Warrick."

"That's no excuse for what I did," insisted Grissom.

"Gil, if you were truly the cheating kind you would be taking the out I was offering," Langston smiled sadly.

"I don't want an out…I just want to salvage my marriage."

Langston nodded in understanding.

"I'm worried about Sara," grieved Grissom.

"Did she have another seizure?" asked Langston.

"No…but I'm worried that she might. I…don't want her to leave but…" Grissom stopped not sure if he could go through with letting her go.

"Gil, you're doing the right thing," stated Langston.

Grissom looked surprised. "I am?"

"You can't work out your differences if you're not together. Moving out here was good for both of you…I could tell."

Langston glanced toward the front door. "I don't like Heather staying here but you can't have her disrupting your lives."

"I need…time with Sara but I can't…because of Heather," he grieved.

Langston took a good look at his friend, not liking what he saw.

It was obvious he'd not been sleeping and his color was pale.

"I have a favor to ask and I'm not sure I'm entitled to ask," said Grissom tiredly.

"Ask," assured Langston.

He handed Langston the prescription bottle.

"These are for nausea," explained Langston.

"I've noticed that ever time Heather has gotten sick, these pills were in her hand…just before…I think the prescription was switched….like Sara's medication. I took the liberty of taking one myself."

Langston frowned.

"I was feeling nauseous myself…I figured why not a better way to find out than to try it myself. It made it worse…much worse."

"If that's true then…you suspect she knew about it?" questioned Langston.

"I don't know," sighed Grissom. "I'm too tired…to think straight. I was hoping you could run an analysis on the medication and then a back ground check on Dr. Rollins…before I confront him. I didn't want to mention this to Heather…to upset her if she had no knowledge…but I also didn't want to tip my hand that I was on to her…if she does know."

Langston leaned forward. "You think there is nothing wrong with her?"

"She seems ill…her sugar levels have not been good. I've seen them myself. There's nothing to warrant hospital admission."

"Do you think she's having pregnancy complications?"

"I don't know but…Ray I can't risk…harming the baby…I'd like nothing more than to get her out of our home," grieved Grissom. "I don't want to put Sara through two weeks of hell but I can't risk harming…." Grissom didn't finish, feeling sick to his stomach once more.

"Dr. Rollins advice about Heather is sound. Pregnancies can terminate in the first trimester and there is little we can do about it. Granted she's four months but…still most physicians recommend bed rest at home…relieve the stress…all of which you're doing."

Grissom sighed in frustration.

Langston looked toward the door. "If Heather….really means what's she says then…the two week stay shouldn't be a problem."

"How so? I barely get across the room when I'm needed by her," griped Grissom.

"Hire a nurse," stated Langston.

He didn't know why he didn't think of it himself.

"There is the extra room next to…Heather and she can be on duty full time. You, Sara and…David can share the upstairs….as a family."

"Ray, do you know…."

"I can recommend several," he added.

Langston leaned forward.

"Gil…did you send that email to Sara?" asked Langston.

"No! I wasn't anywhere near a computer," he griped, tired of defending himself.

"The email contains…personal info that…I find it hard to believe Darren could have figured out…unless he was being fed information."

"By who?" asked Grissom.

"Could Heather have done it?"

"She wouldn't," stated Grissom but then the look that crossed his face told Langston that he wasn't sure.

"Greg confirmed the email was sent from your I.P. address."

"I didn't send it," insisted Grissom.

"Could Heather…have sent it?" he asked.

"She didn't know my password…but then Heather is a very resourceful woman…she could have gotten it," griped Grissom.

He gulped. "Why would she do…such a thing?"

Langston didn't answer the question.

"I'll write down the names of some nurses," offered Langston.

He fixed a nice dinner despite his fatigue and illness.

Heather offered to come to the dinner table but then Grissom reminded her of her doctor's orders.

"But…I don't like to eat alone," she griped.

Langston and Brass appeared. "We would love to eat with you," offered Langston.

Brass refused to say anything.

Heather looked helplessly at Grissom.

"That's great. Then Sara and I can eat with David…since it's his first night…staying with us…as a family."

Heather tried to feign illness but Langston offered to examine her and she quickly recovered.

Brass snickered. "This could be fun," he muttered to Langston.

"We're here to help…not cause problems," reminded Langston.

"I don't believe the…witch…is pregnant," whispered Brass.

"Jim…let's help Sara and Gil have a nice dinner with David," offered Langston.

Brass escorted Sara and David downstairs.

She expected Jim to leave but instead was surprised to see Langston.

"Grissom made dinner," announced Langston.

Sara fidgeted.

"We set a nice table outdoors for the three of you while Jim and I…have dinner with Ms. Heather," explained Langston.

Sara's eyes widened as she started to shake her head but then Brass pressed on her elbow.

"Sara, this is David's first meal…here in his new home," reminded Brass.

David looked eager as he heard Grissom announce dinner was ready.

Sara was gently shoved in the direction of the back porch. David followed.

Heather snarled when she was given a plate of spaghetti.

"I don't eat this stuff," griped Heather.

"Oh my bad," explained Brass with a twinkle in his eye. "That is my plate. Grissom made you soup…bland…just the way the doctor recommended."

Langston sat down and took a bite from his plate.

"This is good," he announced as he took another bite.

"The smell is making me sick," grumbled Heather. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"I have something for nausea," offered Langston.

She turned up her nose and began to eat.

David slid onto the bench. "Spaghetti, my favorite," smiled David. "How did you know?"

Sara glanced at Grissom. "I asked your grandmother," admitted Grissom.

Bruno sat beside David but Grissom moved the dog.

"Oh…he just wanted some," whined David.

"I made something special…for Bruno…too," stated Grissom as he put the dog dish onto the ground.

"Thanks Grissom!"

Sara remained standing.

Grissom took her hand before she could pull away.

"Sit down honey," he said softly. "The food is getting cold."

She always liked his spaghetti, especially the garlic bread.

David talked nonstop, making it easier for Sara to avoid Grissom while she ate.

She didn't realize how famished she was, clearing her plate just as David did.

"Look, Sara…a happy plate," announced David as he held up his empty plate.

"Sara…did too," observed Grissom.

David looked at Grissom's plate.

"You don't have a happy plate," announced the little boy.

"I'm not very hungry," admitted Grissom.

Once dinner ended David began to play with Bruno.

Grissom took the dishes to the sink.

Normally she would help but she had no intention of getting anywhere near Grissom.

Instead she sat watching David.

Despite the turmoil, it had been a good day.

Heather called for Grissom the moment she heard him in the kitchen.

Sara glared at him briefly but then turned her attention to David once more.

Grissom appeared in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Gil, could you…take it away," she cried trying to shove the tray away. "I don't think I can eat…that."

"Heather, you have to eat," he emphasized.

"Maybe…later," she pouted.

"Gil has told us how…you need to rest…avoid stress because of the threatened miscarriage," stated Langston.

"Yes. I only came here to tell him and now I'm afraid I've only made matters worse between he and Sara…by having to stay here for three or four weeks."

Grissom's eyes widened but he said nothing.

"I didn't know there was anything wrong between Sara and Grissom," griped Brass.

"There isn't," spoke up Grissom. "Nothing is going to come between us."

Heather could not help but bristle. "Sara is very lucky."

"There's no luck to it. A man would be blind and stupid not to love Sara," griped Brass.

"Heather it's very noble of you to…not want to come between Grissom and Sara…it's also obvious you would do anything for your child."

"Of course," announced Heather proudly.

"Gil, did you manage to find time to make those phone calls?" asked Langston.

"Yes, Mary Woods will be here within the hour."

"Mary Woods?" asked Heather.

"Your live in nurse," announced Grissom.

"My nurse?" asked Heather.

"Yes. She is going to sleep in the next room and assist you with your needs while you are staying here," announced Grissom with a smile on his face.

He took Heather's hand.

She smiled at him at his thoughtfulness but it soon faded as he continued. "I've moved my things upstairs…so I can be with Sara and David. We won't bother you so you can get plenty of rest."

"But…"

Brass smirked.

Heather glared at him. "Gil, I don't like…being among strangers."

"You're around strangers every day in your profession. You told me that it was better to have a stranger care for your "needs" than to have…"

"I was referring to a man…who was not being pleasured by his spouse…not medical care," she griped.

Langston hid his grin.

"Your doctor ordered absolute rest…no stress. I am going to give that to you," ordered Grissom. "I don't want anything to happen to….our child."

She started to pull him into her arms when he jumped off the bed and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Upstairs…I need to take a few things up there. I don't want to bother you…when you try to sleep in a few hours," stated Grissom. "Langston agreed to stay until the nurse arrived."

Heather gritted her teeth.

Brass chuckled as he walked toward the front door.

He glanced back at Grissom. "This doesn't excuse what you did…but it's a start. We'll talk later."

Grissom rushed up the stairs, eager to be with his family.

He halted on the stairs, trying to catch his breath as his trembling hand gripped the railing.

He listened as Sara's voice floated down to him.

He swallowed listening as she hummed a few bars from a song.

_She's so happy with David…_

"You sound pretty," stated David.

"Thank you," smiled Sara.

"I liked supper tonight," announced David. "Grissom is a good cook."

"Yes, he is."

"Do you think Grissom will be here soon?" he asked eagerly.

"David…"

Grissom didn't hear her words as he forced himself to sit on the steps.

He wanted more than anything to go upstairs but he couldn't seem to bring himself to move.

He swiped his brow with his sleeve.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

Note from author:

It will probably be late when I post tonight.

Take care!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two:**

Sara raised the hammer, intending to hit the nail.

"What did I miss?" Grissom asked.

Sara cursed when she hit her finger.

"Honey, let me see," offered Grissom but she pulled away.

"Grissom can help," stated David.

"Ittt's fffine," she gritted.

He took the hammer and had the picture hung within a minute.

He smiled at his handy work while Sara nursed her finger.

"Would you like some ice?" asked Grissom.

She shook her head as she disappeared from the room.

"Sara?"

She returned handing him the notepad.

"_Get the fuck out of here!"_

He ignored the vulgar remark as well as the thudding in his chest.

"So…which room did you pick for us?" asked Grissom, already knowing the room Sara had been using but needing her to know he intended to share it with her.

She froze.

"I hired a nurse, Mary Woods, to stay with Heather full time…she'll be using the other bedroom."

"_Sleep with your whore."_

Again he ignored the comment.

"David, could you help me with my things?" asked Grissom.

"Sara chose this room for her….and you," stated David as he showed Grissom the room across from his.

She shook her head.

David looked confused. "Mommy and Daddy shared a room."

Grissom fidgeted. "Sara and I sleep together too."

David smiled.

Sara flipped Grissom off when David wasn't looking.

"Not nice, Sara," he mouthed.

They finished David's room and got him ready for bed.

Once Sara was sure he was asleep, she marched into the room she'd chosen.

Grissom lay there reading a book.

She shoved his feet off and glared at him.

"If you're ready for bed, all you had to do was say so," he said as he stood.

She thought he would leave but then gawked when he pulled back the covers, intent to lie back down.

"Ggget up," she whispered angrily.

"Bed is lumpy. Let's hope the mattresses arrive tomorrow," he said with a yawn.

"Sssleep wwwith hher…again."

He rolled over to his side. "I slept on the couch last night. Sara, get in bed and go to sleep. I don't think David is going to sleep through the night. He seemed a bit uneasy sleeping in a strange bed."

She returned to David's room and checked the sleeping boy.

Grissom watched as she stroked the young boy's hair, leaning down to kiss him gently on the forehead.

He imagined what it would be like to have a child with her, to watch as she rocked and nursed the baby.

_Maybe she'll learn to love my son…_

_What I wouldn't give if she were his mother…_

He swallowed bile knowing that Heather would be.

_Maybe he and David will play together down by the creek…_

She remained bent over the child whispering a soft lullaby tune.

He gulped at the picturesque moment.

His heart and body ached with need for her.

He'd gotten nothing but spiteful words and lewd gestures at every turn.

He expected her to return to the room but she headed down the hall.

He scrambled out of the bed, catching up with her as she sat down on the guest bed at the end of the hall.

"You can't sleep here," he urged softly.

"Yyyes, I can."

"And have David telling Martha that we sleep in separate beds?"

She snarled at him as she marched back to the room, throwing back the covers as she got in.

He sighed heavily as he did the same.

She snatched the covers and he felt a draft.

"Are you cold?" he whispered. "I could keep you warm."

She threw the covers back to his side but then he griped, knowing that she was probably cold.

He reshuffled the covers, rolling over to face her while she faced the wall.

It was the way they'd slept for years except his body was always snuggled up to hers.

Now, she clung to the edge of the bed, fearful their bodies would touch.

She wanted no part of him and he sighed.

It had been a long day but fortunately there was a little progress made in trying to get close to her.

Here he lay just inches from her but he felt miles away as she succumbed to sleep.

Sometime during the night, she rolled, her body colliding with his.

He glanced over but she was still asleep, probably not aware that her body sought warmth from his.

His hand rubbed the side of her body and she made a sound much the same way a cat did when it was content.

He always loved to watch her sleep.

It was those moments when her guard was down and her face displayed such warmth and innocence.

He leaned over, letting his lips brush against hers slightly.

He wasn't prepared to have her open her lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss.

He knew he would suffer greatly but he deepened the kiss, his tongue mating with hers in such a manner that he groaned from the need for her.

She shifted so that he was between her legs but he kept the bulk of his weight from her slender body.

His groin nestled into her and she moaned in his mouth, causing him to press into her.

Her body arched instinctively and he wanted nothing more than to slide her panties off and sink into her but he knew that the moment he did, she would most assuredly scream, waking the entire household.

There was the matter of David in the other room.

The doors were wide open.

Her breath came in gasps now as his hand stroked her hair.

He stiffened when she rubbed back and forth against him.

It felt heavenly and yet it was quite cruel knowing that he would have to soak in a cold shower to relieve the tension because there was no way he would get away with finishing this.

_This is wrong…_

_If she were awake, she wouldn't want me…_

_She'll never want me again…_

Her arms circled his neck as she forced him down for another kiss.

This time he forced himself not to respond, knowing she would probably wake and end this soothing of his heart.

Her eyes opened immediately and she struggled to get away from him but he rolled over, pinning her to the bed.

"You started it," he whispered. "You rolled over seeking warmth…I obliged…nothing more."

Her eyes shot accusingly to his erection.

"You've always had that effect on me," he smiled sadly.

Her hand shot out but he caught it before it could make contact with his face.

"Not nice, Sara," he warned.

Both practically fell out of the bed, the moment David rose out of his bed, panting as if he'd been running a marathon.

Sara was the first to reach him, leaving Grissom tangled in the bed covers.

He started into the room when his phone rang.

Sara was already calming David as Grissom reached for his phone.

He glanced at the caller I.D.

"It's the hospital," he whispered to Sara.

"This is…Gil Grissom," he stated.

"James…passed away," wept Martha.

"I'm sorry…for your loss," whispered Grissom.

Sara's hand went protectively around David's shoulders.

"Yes, we'll tell him. If you'll let us know about the arrangements then…yes, of course."

Grissom looked at Sara briefly before taking David by the hand.

He sniffled. "Grandpa James died…didn't he?"

"Yes, David. He's in Heaven now."

David was eerily quiet.

"David…your grandmother said she would see you tomorrow. Okay?" asked Grissom.

"Is...she alright?" he whispered.

"She's sad but she's going to be alright," soothed Grissom.

He expected David to turn to Sara for comfort and was shocked when the young boy clung to Grissom, his small arms encircling Grissom's neck.

Gently he lifted the child, holding him tight to his chest.

Sara rubbed David's back.

Grissom sat down on the bed but kept the child in his arms.

Soon, there were large wails coming from the child.

Heather huffed. "What is that noise?"

The nurse looked shocked. "The little boy is crying."

Heather rolled over as if she was irritated by the noise.

Grissom rocked the small boy back and forth.

An hour passed and the child became quiet.

Grissom whispered softly to Sara. "Pull back the bed covers so I can lay him down."

She did so immediately, pulling up the covers as the child snuggled with the large teddy bear.

Grissom sat on the edge of the bed, stroking David's hair.

Sara sat on the opposite side, rubbing the child's back.

"You think…he'll be alright?" whispered Grissom.

Sara pulled back the covers and slipped in beside the young boy.

She was surprised when Grissom did the same.

He kissed the boy's forehead and then looked at Sara.

She quickly shut her eyes, blocking him from view.

Bruno whined briefly and then flopped down on the rug.

The next day the house was eerily quiet as David sat on his bed looking out his window.

He refused to play, sniffling in silence and then.

Sara knew he was the type that liked to grieve in silence.

She let him but stayed close, sitting on her own bed with a book in hand.

Her eyes drifted to him with any slight movement.

Grissom came and went.

She avoided him each time he seemed to pop in to check on them.

She was glad he brought food, relieving them of having to venture downstairs and come into contact with Heather.

Just the sound of the woman's voice caused her stomach to churn.

She closed her eyes briefly but when she felt a soft warm hand touch her cheek her eyes shot open to find David standing next to her.

He curled up next to Sara and handed her a book.

Grissom halted on the stairs at the sound of Sara's voice.

He recognized the story immediately, it being his favorite.

He stood outside the door, waiting for those lines that were his favorite.

"_Real isn't how you are made," said the skin horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become REAL."_

"_Does it hurt?" asked the rabbit._

"_Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are REAL you don't mind being hurt."_

"_Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "Or bit by bit?"_

"_It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen to people who easily break, or have sharp edges, or who have to be kept carefully. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off…"_

Grissom started to step into the room but then froze.

Sara had read a portion of the "Velveteen Rabbit" without a single stutter.

"Sara…what does it mean to be real?"

"Loved…you are loved," she said mournfully.

"Sara, do you love me?" asked David.

"Yes."

"I love you too."

His smile turned into a frown.

"So the toy got old because he was loved a lot," remarked David.

"Yes."

"So loves hurts?" asked David.

"Sometimes," Sara replied.

"Like…when we say something we don't mean or do something bad?" asked David.

"Yes."

"Have you been hurt, Sara?"

Sara nodded.

"By Grissom?"

"Yes….but…"

"He didn't mean it, I'm sure of it. He loves you a lot. He told me. He said you were the only person he's ever loved….that is for a girl because he told me he loves me too."

Sara swiped at her eyes.

"You love him a lot, don't you?" asked David.

Sara nodded.

Grissom strained to hear her response as he stood outside the door but when there was only silence he finally stepped into the room.

"That is my favorite book," he said with a huge grin.

"Mine too!" said David. "Sara reads good."

"Yes, she does," smiled Grissom.

Sara closed the book. "TTTime for bed."

"Ah Sara. It was just getting good."

Once David settled into his bed, he leaned forward and kissed Sara.

"You smell…like…heaven," David said.

She smiled.

"My Daddy used to tell that to my Mommy. You smell…like her," he said as he yawned.

"Night," she whispered as she kissed him.

Grissom sat with him for awhile and then came to their room.

He sat on his side of the bed as she tossed to the side, not wanting to talk with him, knowing that David might still be awake.

"You do smell like Heaven," whispered Grissom as he turned off the light, inching down into the bed.

He rolled over onto his side.

"And yyyet I wasn't eeenough," she retorted.

"Sara…"

Her fists beat the pillow and then moved further away from him.

His hand remained poised in the air, fearful she would only slap it away if he tried to stroke her hand.

"I never wanted anyone but you," he replied.

"Go to hell," she seethed.

"I'm there," he choked. "The fire is already consuming me."

He sighed as he rolled over onto his side, clutching the side of the bed as he spent another sleepless night beside the only woman he'd ever loved.

Note from author:

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Take care!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three:**

She woke during the night with the strong urge for a glass of milk.

The house was deafly quiet as she slipped down stairs.

She poured a glass drinking the milk as she closed the fridge.

She jumped when Heather stood there.

"I'm sorry. Did I scare you Sara? Did you think it was Natalie….or Darren?" she purred.

Sara set the empty glass into the sink.

Heather rubbed her stomach as she smiled at Sara. "Do you think David can compare to the child I'm giving Grissom? Really Sara, I didn't think you had it in you to play in my league," she sneered. "I play to win. Remember that. Once this child is born, Grissom will forget all about…what's his name, oh yeah, David."

Sara glared at her as she turned away but stilled the moment she heard the chilling tune.

"There's a pain in my sawdust," sang Heather.

Sara fled the room, rushing up the stairs without regard to her knee.

She glanced back but almost screamed when strong hands took hold of her.

"It's me," Grissom whispered. "What's wrong?'

"Llllletttt…ggggoooo," she cried.

"Sara you're trembling. Are you okay?" he grieved.

She shoved him away from her as she flew back to David's room but halted in the doorway.

She wanted to scream when she felt him pull her into the other room.

She started to protest but his lips came down on hers.

Gently he eased her against the wall, his hands caressing the full length of her body.

She choked down a sob as she whispered, "Ddddonnn't."

His hand wiped her cheeks. "Honey, tell me what happened?"

She shuddered and he pulled her close to him. "I won't let anything…anyone…hurt you," he whispered.

"Yyyyou aaalready have," she cried.

"I know what I did…and I'm sorry."

She tried to step back but he refused to release her.

"Please….don't push me away again. Don't…" his anguish tore at her.

It was genuine.

Hesitantly his lips softly kissed her forehead, slipping down until they were just inches from hers.

She wanted him more than anything but she struggled within, knowing that if she gave herself to him she would be subjecting herself to possible further pain and humiliation.

It would be a matter of time before Heather snapped her fingers and he would go running to her.

She was now carrying his child, a child Sara had wanted and yet he'd given it to a woman she despised.

She needed time to heal, physically and emotionally but at the moment she needed time to feel whole again and that would only be accomplished in Grissom's arms.

Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck.

Her heart wanted to forgive him but her head warned her to remain cold and distant.

She could never harbor any ill feelings toward an innocent unborn but she also knew that Grissom would want to play a role in his son's life and therefore Heather would always have her claws in him.

She wanted to slap Heather but she resisted the temptation, taking the unborn into consideration.

If it were not for David she would be gone.

Even though she knew she would always love Grissom, her outlook on their future was bleak if it involved Heather.

She still could not bear to look at the woman knowing that Grissom had been with her, worse, knowing that she carried his child and gloated over it.

Her lips brushed against his slightly and then she deepened the kiss.

She knew her actions were leading him on but she couldn't stop, needing to feel him, wanting to hold him and fearing the way he looked these days.

She felt him step between her thighs, pressing his arousal against her.

She knew he wanted her but had he wanted Heather like this?

"All I can think about is you," he whispered. "I want inside you, Sara. Please, honey. Let me."

She kissed him hungrily this time, intensifying the need between them.

She shivered when his lips broke free and suckled on her breasts.

She flinched from the pain since he was being a little rough, having gone too long with need.

She refused to respond this time, forcing her body to remain stiff and rigid but it didn't seem to deter him as he lifted her in one fluid motion, carrying her to the bed.

As soon as she felt the mattress she tried to rise but his body covered hers completely, fully and the warmth enveloped her entire being in such a wave that she relaxed, allowing him further access.

By the time her mind registered what was happening he'd managed to slip her panties off and was already positioning himself to enter her folds.

It was cruel to lead him on and then force him to stop but she wasn't ready for this.

She was embarrassed that she'd led him to believe that she wanted it to go any further.

Her eyes jerked open, staring into the face of her husband.

Her hands pressed against his chest. "Nnnnoooo," she sobbed.

"Ssssh," he whispered. "Don't say anything….just feel me, Sara. Let me show you how much I love you."

"No! Yoooou ddddiid this wwwith her!"

"No, I didn't!" he agonized. "I don't love her Sara. Every time I've made love to you. This is so pure, Sara…it's love…don't you feel it."

"You….gggave hhher a child!" she wept.

His eyes widened. "Sara, we can have our own. If you want…"

She tried to hit him but he grabbed her wrist.

"Yyyou ddidn't want…a child…wwwwith mmmeee!"

"I didn't think…it mattered…we had each other…but now that I see you with David and…"

"I dddon't wwwant ttthis," she wept. "I dddon't waaant yyou."

He flinched as if she'd struck him but he rolled off her, pulling her into his arms, rocking her back and forth, trying to soothe her tears.

Once she'd calmed, he gently released her knowing that she would flee.

He gulped in air, too emotional to go after her, needing to calm down himself.

She scrambled out of the bed, grabbing her panties and fled to the bathroom.

He lay there breathing in deeply, trying to reel in his emotions, afraid he'd pushed her further away.

He heard a slight sound coming from David's room and rushed in just as the young boy woke.

"Bad dream?" Grissom whispered.

"Car wreck," he cried. "I couldn't…get out. Mommy and Daddy…wouldn't wake up."

Grissom had not realized David had been in the accident with his parents.

Sara hurried into the room.

He held out his small hands for Sara and she slid down into the bed, taking him securely in her arms.

"No one came…for a long time. Mommy got very cold…even though I hugged her."

Sara glanced at Grissom.

Both of them lay in the bed with David between them.

"David, there wasn't anything you could do," whispered Grissom.

He sniffled. "I didn't get help. I…was too scared," he whimpered.

"You ccccouldn't get out," whispered Sara as she closed her eyes.

Grissom eyed Sara.

_You've never told me about being trapped in the coffin…_

_What hell are you hiding?_

He wrapped his arms tightly around them.

Sara shifted moving closer toward David as he cried softly.

"Have you ever been scared, Sara?" asked David.

"Yes," she replied.

"I didn't think anyone would find me," cried David.

"Neither did I," she wept.

"The police found me," he said. "Who found you?"

"Grissom."

"I'm glad," sniffled David.

Sara kissed David's head as he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Grissom leaned over and kissed David as well, intending to kiss Sara but she thwarted his attempt by moving away.

The next day was difficult as David struggled with his grandfather's death.

One minute he would be happy and then the next, he would burst into tears, seeking comfort from Sara.

She devoted every waking minute to David, soothing his pain.

Martha had called letting them know about the upcoming arrangements.

There was no time for Grissom to talk with Sara, David's need for her too great and so he kept to the shadows, coming and going, not sure that Sara even noticed but she had.

It angered her that she had let things get out of hand last night.

She knew it was cruel to lead him on but she could not seem to control her physical or emotional need to be with him.

She had been grateful that he had not pushed.

It tore at her to see him so vulnerable, not sure what to do or say around her.

She kept David behind closed doors, taking their meals upstairs.

Grissom tried to complain but he didn't want to anger her further, too guilty for what had transpired between them that night.

When night time came, he tucked David in bed and then stood quietly hoping for some kind of sign from her that she wanted him but she merely shoved his pillows over further onto his side of the bed.

He quietly disappeared and she wondered, miserably if he'd gone to be with Heather.

There was a soft shutting of the screen door and she glanced out her window to see Bruno following behind Grissom as he made his way down the driveway.

She was curious as she sat there watching for him to return.

An hour later he reappeared, walking slower than before.

He leaned against the fence as he struggled to catch his breath.

She struggled out of the bed covers when he slipped down onto the grass, leaning against the fence.

His head landed in his hands as he sat there.

Bruno circled around him several times before settling by his feet.

Another hour past as she sat there watching her husband.

She swiped at her tears as she stood, wanting to go to him but not sure that she was strong enough.

Eventually he stood and returned inside the household.

She scrambled back into the bed, listening as his footsteps came up the stairs.

Gently he eased through the cracked door and sat down on the edge of the bed.

She could feel him, removing his clothing as he slipped into the bed.

The room was silent as they both lay there.

During the night she rolled over and was surprised to find his side empty.

She tossed once more and then was startled when she caught sight of him sitting on the edge of David's bed as he softly sang a melody to the young boy.

Quietly, he leaned down, kissing the young boy on the forehead as he returned to the bed.

"Is David alright?" she whispered.

"Yes…he was…dreaming…so I sat with him," he said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear him."

Sara glanced at the clock, realizing it was 4:00 in the morning.

She stared at Grissom in the dark and wondered if he'd slept any.

"My father died….when I was nine….David is almost seven."

She had no idea why he was telling her this.

"I never truly understood death…until I watched them close the casket…and I never saw my father's face again."

He rose from the bed to sit on the edge.

He raked his hand through his hair.

"You should try to sleep," she offered as she watched him.

He laughed, his voice sounding eerie against the still air.

"That…was always my line…to you," he said sadly as he reached for his clothes.

"I'll go to the other room...so I won't bother you," whispered Grissom.

"You're not bothering me," she admitted. "You can stay."

He lay on top of the bed covers, staring up at the ceiling.

"I understood death...when my mother killed my father. Nothing was ever the same," she said.

"I didn't want to go...I wish I hadn't. Do you think...we should let David?" he worried.

"It's not our decision...it's Martha's."

He closed his eyes as she lay on her side watching him.

She purposely rolled so that she was closer to him.

He shifted to his side, feeling her warmth.

She leaned back feeling his body.

He tilted his head, breathing in deeply.

Her scent comforted him as he finally slept.

She seemed unusually quiet when the funeral arrived.

It felt awkward going to another funeral.

Sara wore the same dress she'd worn at Warrick's funeral.

Grissom was in the same suit.

David was dressed in a pair of khaki pants with a dark blue shirt.

He was rather quiet as he sat in the swing.

Neither had eaten breakfast.

Grissom had not pushed, understanding his own inability to eat at the moment.

He'd checked in on Heather as well as the nurse.

While she had wanted him to stay longer, he explained the need to get to the funeral home with David.

"Of course, your son needs you," said Heather flatly.

"The nurse is here. Dr. Rollins is going to be here in a few hours," he stated.

He started to leave but then halted. "How are you…is he…going to be alright?"

"I'm afraid so," she said.

Grissom looked agitated.

"Don't think it hasn't crossed your mind that the problem would be solved if…I lost him."

"I don't want that. Despite how he was conceived…"

Heather looked shocked. "He was conceived by your desire…for me, Gil. You wanted me that night…not her. You came to me…not her. You stayed in my house…not the house you had shared with her."

Grissom swallowed. "Heather…I'm not getting into this with you…now. I want you to get better."

"Go Gil. Be with your family."

He knew she was trying to make him feel guilty and she'd done just that.

It had to be hard, lying around hour after hour, knowing that your actions decided the wellbeing of another human life.

"Perhaps we could play chess…later?" he offered.

Her face warmed.

"That would be nice," she admitted.

When they stepped into the funeral home, they caught sight of Martha sitting alone in the front row. David ran to her.

There was a loud sniffle followed by a few smaller ones as the old woman sat with her grandson.

There were a few people who were walking about.

The casket was sitting open.

Martha held David's hand as she took him to view the body.

Sara cringed not liking the way David wavered but followed after his grandmother said something to him.

Martha and David returned to their seats and then a few others walked by the casket.

Sara remained standing near the door.

"You want…to go and sit beside David?" asked Grissom.

She couldn't seem to budge as her feet remained stuck in that spot.

"Sara?" whispered Grissom as he grew alarmed at her appearance.

The funeral director closed the casket with a loud thud and Sara visibly shook.

She felt strong arms take hold of her, leading her out of the church.

The minute she got outside, she ran toward some trees, gasping for air.

She was mortified when she vomited.

Grissom pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her as he held on to her waist.

"That…must have been hard," he whispered.

Sara stared at her fingernails that were now long and healthy.

Grissom took her shaking hands into his.

"Honey, you don't have to go back inside. We can wait here…for David," he urged.

She pulled her hands from his, angry for being so weak at a time when David needed her.

"I tttook my medicine…wwwithout eating," trying to explain her reaction to the casket.

He didn't believe her for a moment, taking note of the way her body still trembled.

The sight of the casket being closed had clearly rattled her.

It had rattled him even, wondering what she must have gone through during those hours she had been buried alive.

His arm encircled her waist but she halted. "Don't," she warned.

His hand fell away but he kept close, worry etched on his face.

He berated himself inwardly at his callous disregard for Sara.

He'd been so wrapped up in dealing with David that he'd not considered how Sara would react coming so close to a casket after being buried alive.

While she had been buried in a wooden coffin, it was the same for Sara as she struggled to sit during the funeral, keeping her eyes diverted from the casket.

They sat behind David and his grandmother.

David turned and looked at them mournfully.

Sara gave him a tight smile.

He turned back to the front, taking his grandmother's hand.

The service wasn't particularly long and soon they were at the gravesite.

Her stomach knotted at the sight of the hole in the ground.

Grissom sensed her discomfort and intentionally pulled her closer to him.

He was glad she did not pull away but he knew it was only because she did not want to make a scene.

Grissom had hoped the grandmother would have left before the casket was lowered into the ground but she remained.

David fidgeted a little but continued to hold on to his grandmother's hand.

"Ma' am?" questioned the funeral director but she remained and so they began to shovel dirt onto the casket.

The dirt hit the casket with a thud causing Sara's body to flinch at the sound.

Grissom wondered if she could remember hearing the sound of the dirt as it hit the wooden coffin.

"Sara?" he whispered.

Her face went stark white.

"Honey…I'm taking you to the car," he whispered.

He stood quickly whispering something to Martha.

A few persons from the church watched as they got up.

A man stepped forth, staring at Sara.

"I recognize you from the news…you're that woman who was buried alive," he said aloud, causing all heads to turn.

Sara grasped Grissom's hand as he pulled her from the chair.

There were soft whispers and then gasps as Grissom and Sara moved toward their vehicle.

Just as they made it to the passenger side, her knees gave out but he caught her, pulling her up against the car.

His hands cupped her face. "Honey, you don't look good," he whispered.

"Dirt," she gasped as she tried to cover her ears with her hands. "Mmmake it stop…I don't wwwant to hear…that sound. Gil, please!"

He opened the car door and ushered her into the front seat, shutting the door quickly.

He started the engine and drove away from the cemetery, taking note of how fragile she looked.

Once the cemetery was out of sight, he pulled over, rushing to her side of the vehicle.

He grabbed the bottled water that was now warm and gently brought it to her lips.

He took off his jacket and placed it over her.

Her stomach knotted.

"III think I'm ggggoing to be sick," she moaned.

"Deep breaths," he urged.

She shuddered each time she thought of the dirt slowly hitting the top of the casket.

His hand gently stroked her hair, his voice soothing as he calmed her just as he did in the hospital.

Slowly color returned to her face.

"I'm…good," she said as she handed him the jacket.

"Sara, you're pale…cold despite…it being warm. Keep the jacket," he ordered.

He could barely keep his eyes on the road as he worried about her.

Weeks of improvement had disappeared within an hour.

He tried to hold her hand but she twisted hers away, softly begging to be left alone.

He didn't try again, too fearful that she'd been pushed too far today.

Neither spoke as they drove home.

As soon as the engine stopped, she started to get out of the car but he stopped her.

"I'm worried about you," he said softly.

She flew out of the car and headed up the stairs.

He knew she had no intention of sharing her hell with him.

He'd never seen her like this, not even after the ordeal with Natalie.

Heather glanced out of the window, watching as Sara fled into the house.

_I know what you fear, Sara…_

Note form author:

I am still be plagued by computer problems...ugh. I am going to have to wipe my computer clean. I hope it can wait until after this story is over.

Take care!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

He was exhausted but he knew he was not finished for the night, needing and wanting to speak with Heather as the accusations and questions swirled around in his head like a whirlwind.

Slowly he went to their room now occupied by Heather.

He noticed the bed was empty.

The nurse sat in the chair in the corner of the room with a book in her hand.

"She insisted on taking a bubble bath," reported the nurse.

"Oh. How was…did Dr. Rollins report any improvement?"

"There is no bleeding…no apparent complications now. I did draw some extra blood…per Dr. Langston…for a test."

Grissom looked confused but nodded.

He stepped out onto the front porch and called Langston.

"You mind telling me why you requested…"

"To make sure Heather is really pregnant," he said.

"Heather is not dumb. If she faked a pregnancy, it would be discovered eventually."

"People do strange things," commented Langston. "It won't hurt to check."

There was a pause. "How is Sara?" Ray asked.

"The funeral…was hard on her," he breathed.

"I'd like to come and visit with her…tomorrow?"

Grissom's eyes drifted up the stairs. "Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

"Gil, you were right about the medication. It would only make Heather sick…not curtail the nausea. I also checked Dr. Rollins background and it's impressive. The only oddity is his willingness to make house calls."

"Heather can be very persuasive," replied Grissom.

"How are you feeling?" he asked out of the blue.

Grissom stammered. "I'm going to confront Heather…about a few things."

"Good….Mary states there doesn't seem to any complications at this time. You didn't answer my question."

Grissom closed his phone as he returned to Heather's room to play chess.

Heather stared at him as he waited for her to make her move in the chess game.

"You want to ask me something. Ask it," she stated.

"Why did you send that email to Sara?"

She pursed her lips. "She refused to stop. She'd already sent you fifty…so I put an end to it."

Grissom glared at her. "You let her think that I…"

Heather dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "I didn't say anything that you hadn't voiced…to me."

"I didn't blame Sara for Warrick's death! I didn't tell you I hated her. I didn't…"

"You did in so many words, Gil. You hated the fact that she ran every time you needed her. You hated the control she's had over you from the beginning. You hate her."

"I could never hate Sara…even if she had committed what I foolishly thought she had done. You violated my privacy…used my email address for your own personal vendetta against Sara."

"I did it for you."

"You did it for yourself."

"So arrest me for having raging hormones! I was pregnant and you were nowhere to be found. I panicked when Sara surfaced again, acting as if she'd not done enough damage in your life. Call your friend Brass and have him to arrest me."

Grissom glared at her. "You mentioned David by name…without us telling you. How long have you been prying into my private affairs?"

She tsked him. "You've confided in me before…I knew you would bring up David."

"I thought we were friends."

"We're more than friends."

"No, we're not."

"Gil…"

"I trusted you…as a friend. I helped you…when Zoe was murdered…I made sure you were able to visit with your granddaughter."

She leaned forward. "And I was very grateful."

"Yes," he sighed irritably. "You were. You offered me an outlet…someone I could talk to when Sara left…me. My life without her was…bleak…empty. And then I lost Warrick and…you offered me a place to stay…but I still wasn't convinced that my marriage was over."

He stood hovering over her. "But then the video came and you told me Sara had moved on, was happy without me and I believed you. I felt my life had no meaning…you saw your opportunity…my weakness. Like you've said before, you know me."

"I do," she whispered reaching out to touch him but he stepped away.

Grissom made the last move on the board. "Check mate," he declared.

She smiled. "So you have been paying attention."

"More than you think," he said as he stood, calling good night over his shoulder despite her protests.

Martha returned David in a few hours.

He was quiet as he made his way to his room.

Sara sat on her bed, watching him.

He sat there, sniffling as he looked out the window.

He refused dinner that evening and kept to himself.

Sara did the same, not sure how to handle the emotional turmoil she felt watching the casket being lowered and then the sound of the dirt filling the hole.

When Darren had buried her, she was vaguely conscious, not sure what to make of the sounds that floated in and around her.

She remembered the horror of coming fully awake to find one self in a coffin, with no hope of getting out.

Grissom appeared a time or two, making small talk but neither budged from their rooms.

Finally night came.

Grissom set a tray down on David's bed.

"David…you need to eat something," Grissom urged.

"Could Grandpa be alive?" he asked.

Sara stood outside David's door.

"In Heaven," replied Grissom.

"No…here," he said in confusion.

"No, David. Your grandfather is dead. You saw his body. We buried him today."

"People said Sara was buried but she's alive."

Grissom head jerked to see if Sara had heard David.

She stayed from view, covering her mouth to stifle the slight hysteria wanting to erupt.

"Some bad man…put Sara in a coffin…buried it…but we got her out…before she died."

"Why…did he do it?"

"He was bad. Some people are mean."

"Did you catch the bad man?"

"Yes."

Grissom handed the boy a sandwich and he took it.

"David, I'm going to check on Sara," he said.

She flew to the bathroom, shutting the door.

She took a deep breath and then stepped out just as Grissom entered the hallway.

"I brought sandwiches," he offered.

"How…is David?" she asked pretending she had not overheard the conversation.

"He's eating. Come and sit with us."

She shook her head.

"Then come and sit with David at least," he griped but then corrected himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, " he said wearily feeling the effects of the day. "You need to eat…then take your medicine."

She complied, too tired to fight over something so menial.

Both seemed relieved when David turned in early, exhausted from the day's ordeal.

Sara lingered in the doorway.

"He's asleep," whispered Grissom as he left David's side.

Sara went to her room and shut the door.

She took off her robe and slipped underneath the covers.

The mattresses had finally been replaced but the bed did not feel as comfortable as their bed downstairs.

She heard footsteps and braced herself but they continued down the stairs.

She closed her eyes, too tired to wonder where he'd be sleeping that night.

During the night, she stirred letting a soft sob escape her lips.

Grissom sat on the edge of the bed, quietly stroking her hair as he whispered a love sonnet.

Gently he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

She woke immediately but kept her eyes closed.

He continued to stroke her hair until finally she shifted intending to speak with him but he stood quickly as if he were fearful for being caught.

He stumbled back, losing his balance as he hurried over to his side of the bed.

"Gil?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…to wake you," he mourned.

She glanced at the clock and noticed it was already after 2:00 a.m.

He rolled onto his side, keeping to the edge of the bed.

He tossed a few times but he knew it was futile, intending to go for a walk, relying on exhaustion to force his mind to shut down.

She stirred, reaching instinctively for him but finding bare sheets.

He sat down intending to soothe her back to sleep and then leave but she pulled him back into the bed.

His body went rigid, fearful she'd wake and lash out but she merely snuggled closer, resting her head on his chest.

Minutes ticked by as he lay there stiffly, not sure when the closeness would be exposed but her lips gently kissed his chest as she moved even closer.

Slowly he let himself relax, closing his eyes.

Gently she raised her head when she was sure he'd fallen asleep.

Her hand gently caressed his cheek before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

She woke that morning to something warm and soft.

Her eyes opened and Bruno whined.

"Good morning, Bruno," she said as she patted him.

"Bruno, down," ordered Grissom.

David padded into the room.

"Good morning," he said with a yawn.

He crawled into the bed and lay beside Grissom.

"Grissom, can we have pancakes for breakfast?"

"Only if you help," he announced.

David smiled. "Sara, are you going to help?"

She shook her head. "Too messy."

"The pancakes?" asked David.

She pointed to Grissom.

Grissom frowned. "We'll see about that."

David ran down the steps calling for them to follow.

Grissom rose.

Sara stared at him, her body yearning for a touch but she refused to give in to such carnal pleasure, intent to stand her ground for a "separation" between them even if they were still living under the same roof.

She eventually took over the task of making pancakes, not liking the steady mess on the counters.

They almost managed to get out of the house without hearing Heather but just as they headed toward the front door she called for him.

The nurse's head popped out of the bedroom, ushering a silent apology.

Sara wasted no time in ushering David out of the house.

"Mary, I'm spending the day with my family…if she gets ill, call her physician and then call an ambulance."

He took off after them.

As they headed toward the barn David complained. "She needs Grissom a lot."

They settled on the tire swing Grissom had erected but soon she caught Grissom's eyes on her.

He stepped over and tried to help but she stopped, letting him take over.

"We could do it together," he offered but she pretended she didn't hear, choosing to pet the small kitten at her feet.

Grissom pushed David harder and harder as the boy squealed with delight.

She smiled at the sound of the young boy's laughter.

She turned to go for a walk when a car pulled up and Langston stepped out.

He smiled at her while waving to the others.

"Taking a walk?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Good. May I join you?" he asked.

She glanced back at Grissom who seemed focused on David.

"Okay."

They took a walk through the field.

Langston asked a few general health questions.

"Did…hhe call you?"

"No."

"Sara…I need to tell you something…something I discovered yesterday."

She stopped. "Okay."

"The discharge nurse failed to give you your…birth control shot."

Sara froze.

"Unless you haven't been sexually active or used another form of birth control…you could be pregnant."

"The ssseizure mmmmedds…"

He knew what she was going to ask before it came out of her mouth.

"Slow down," he cautioned. "The prescription you recently began to take won't harm the fetus if you're pregnant."

He waited a moment letting that sink in.

"I brought a pregnancy test…for you to take…so you can be sure."

She nodded numbly.

"Have you had any symptoms?"

She had, now understanding the tiredness, the tenderness of the breasts along with the nausea.

The fact she had not had a period did not alert her since she often skipped a period while on the shots.

She lied not wanting the news to get back to Grissom.

"Sara…this is patient and doctor talking here. No one else needs to know," he offered.

She swallowed slowly nodding her head in defeat.

"Too much to take in?" he asked.

She nodded as she walked away, turning her back to him.

"Are you okay?"

She held up her hands in frustration.

"Ffirst…Gggil cccomes to CCCosta Rico bbbut lllleaves tthen…Ddaarren…ttthen Dddavid then Hheather and nnow tthis!" she cried letting her hands fall to her side.

"It's a lot to take in."

"Rrray…I ddon't wwant him ttto knnnow….ifff it's ppppositive."

"Do you think that's fair?"

"Ddddo yyyou ttthink it wwas ffair hhhe cchhheated?"

"Sara? I think you need to sit down….calm down," he cautioned.

She took a deep breath followed by another as she tried to process the news.

The last few days had a bit too much to handle.

Already she felt the strong urge to flee, get in a car and just drive but then a quick glance at her shaking hands and she knew she was in no condition to be making any long term decisions.

Sara leaned against a tree.

Langston reached over and took her pulse. "Sorry…it's the doctor in me."

He glanced toward the house as he heard voices.

"Do you want this baby if you're pregnant?" he asked.

"Yes."

He smiled but then became serious. "Sara, I want you to be careful. Someone else was working with Darren…someone who sent the email from Grissom's I.P. address."

Sara glanced toward the sound of Grissom's voice.

"Do you have an idea who may have sent it?" asked Langston softly.

"Heather," she replied flatly.

"Sara…stress is a contributing factor to your seizures…as well as miscarriages during the first trimester."

Her hands flew protectively to her abdomen.

"Remember that," he warned.

Langston sat on the front porch as he listened to David talk about Mr. Claw chuckling as the wide eyed child spinned his tale.

Grissom winked at the young child encouraging him to go on with his tale as he glanced back toward the front door.

Grissom thought that it was strange that Sara had disappeared into the house without David and while Langston remained.

Her behavior these days were anything but predictable.

He'd tried repeatedly to talk with her but she refused.

He berated himself for being too pushy, knowing that it was too soon since her discovery of his adultery.

He still found it hard to admit such a thing, knowing that he despised men who cheated on their wives.

David now began to show Langston his new video games system.

She appeared in the doorway and it was obvious she'd been crying.

She tried to hide it but her eyes were swollen and her nose was red.

Her eyes locked with his.

Her chocolate orbs were brilliant, almost glowing and he didn't know what to make of it.

He turned fully intent to ask her what was wrong but Ray stood suddenly.

"I should be going," stated Ray.

He looked at Sara. "I forgot Greg sent your things from your locker. Come with me to the car and I'll give them to you."

She made a move but Grissom spoke up. "I can get them."

"No," she spat and he froze not sure what to make of her tone.

He glanced toward David but he had not been listening, too engrossed in the hand held video game.

Grissom glared at her but it had little effect on her as she followed Langston to the car.

Once they were on the other side of the car, he whispered. "I take it the test was positive."

"Yes," she managed to get out.

"Sara…perhaps you need to tell Grissom. You'll need his support…"

She shook his head. "He…lllost the right ttto know."

"He's going to find out sooner or later," he countered.

"III don't care."

He handed her a box containing the items. "There's a bottle of prenatal vitamins in there. I brought them just in case," he said with a slight smile. "You need to start taking them immediately. You should see your O.B."

She nodded still shocked over the turn of events.

"Sara, Heather will try to cause problems…just like she already has. It's up to you on whether she succeeds. If you need me, call any time," he urged.

"TTthhanks, Ray."

Once Langston drove away, she started to go inside the house but Grissom's hand caught her arm.

"Don't use that tone…to me in front of David," he warned in a whisper.

She glanced in David's direction. "I..I…I… won't," she managed to get out.

His features softened considerable. "You've been crying. Is everything alright?"

_I'm pregnant Grissom…_

_I should be happy but I'm not…_

"I'm…fine," she countered but he knew different.

She took the box to her room, sliding it far underneath her bed just before taking the prenatal vitamin.

She caressed the small bulge she'd ignored.

_Would he really be thrilled to be having a child with me?_

_What would Heather think?_

She almost considered telling him just to see the reaction on Heather's face but then she had no intentions of using one child against another.

As much as she loathed the woman, the son Heather was carrying deserved love.

David appeared upstairs.

She spent the rest of the evening playing with David.

Grissom observed them from a distance, not sure what to make of Sara's odd behavior.

He caught her staring at him quite often that day, her face pained.

He attempted conversation but she blew him off, skittering away like some fearful wounded animal.

He didn't like the number of times she'd gone up and down the stairs but he hated getting onto her repeatedly.

Heather watched his movements throughout the house, irritated that the nurse was bent on distracting her every time voices could be heard.

His phone rang late that evening and he picked it up just as the nurse passed.

"Ms. Heather is sleeping so I'm going to shower if you don't mind."

"Of course not," he replied as he picked up his phone.

"Grissom."

"Gil, Heather's blood sample confirmed she's pregnant," stated Langston.

It wasn't anything he didn't already know.

"Ray…did Sara talk with you earlier…she's been distant."

"I told her that we verified Darren could not have sent the email from your I.P. address."

Grissom fumed. "I didn't want her to be frightened…I didn't want her to think someone was still out there who may be trying to…"

"She thinks Heather did it."

_Instead of being afraid, she's angry?_

"I'll talk with her."

"Gil, have you confronted Heather?"

"Yes, I did. She admitted it."

Grissom cleared his throat. "I can't…press charges. I've talked with her…warned her."

"You think that's enough? You don't think she's capable of…"

"She felt threatened…she thought that if Sara never came back then…I won't press charges against the mother of my unborn child…not for that."

Heather slipped near the living room, smiling as she came across Grissom's conversation.

Bruno whined at the back door.

She cursed, knowing Grissom would come back inside if the dog did not shut up.

Quickly she slipped to the kitchen, opening the back door and allowing the huge brute to get in.

She cringed when she saw the dog's fur saturated with mud.

Her thin lips curled into a cruel smile as she opened the door and let the dog inside.

"Get away from me!" she warned quietly.

The dog took off into the house as Heather ran back to her bedroom, shutting the door.

"Gil, Catherine was going to call you. There's been some additional…evidence in Sara's case."

"What?"

He hesitated to answer.

"Ray, I need to know."

"The discharge nurse was paid a considerable amount of money from a man to give Sara the placebo medication. She intentionally did not follow discharge instructions."

Ray hoped he would have wanted to know the explicit discharge instructions but he didn't ask.

"Did she give a name?"

"Catherine is in there now with her along with Brass."

"Keep me informed," he said as he hung up.

He breathed in deeply, leaning against the wall for support.

_What are you hiding from me, Sara?_

Note from author:

What we wouldn't give to tell him...LOL.

Take care!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five:**

Sara and David walked along the creek as they headed back toward the house.

They caught sight of Martha across the field.

David looked at Sara and she smiled as they headed toward his grandmother.

Martha hugged the child as he came running to her.

"Sara and I have been playing," announced David.

He glanced toward the front porch and saw a realtor.

"David, Mr. Johnson is going to help us sell the house and land," she whispered, trying not to break down.

"Where…where are you going to live?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm going to be just fine," she urged.

"Grissom is going to make lasagna for dinner tonight. You can come. Won't you?" asked David.

David pleaded silently to Sara who also nodded in favor of her coming over.

Martha smiled. "Well, then. That would be nice. I would like…to see…your room."

"SStairs," emphasized Sara.

"Well, just once won't hurt," Martha stated. "I would like to drive though."

They waved as she headed back to the Toliver farm.

Sara was a little nervous as Grissom met them half way in the field.

"I've been looking for you two," he stated.

"Grandma was home. She's coming to dinner," announced David.

Grissom glanced at Sara, a little fearful to have Martha in the same house as Heather.

As they neared the house, Sara looked around.

"What's wrong?" asked Grissom.

"Bruno," she answered.

"He ran home," stated David as he ran toward the front porch to wait for Martha.

They stepped into the house but Grissom halted when he saw the muddy footprints leading upstairs.

"Oh no, Sara," he said.

Sara stepped in and hurried to the stairs but Grissom was already taking them two at a time.

By the time she was half way there, Grissom was yelling at the dog.

"Bruno!" yelled Grissom.

The dog yelped as he ran down the stairs, almost knocking Sara down in the process.

Sara started to climb back down to get the dog out of the house but Grissom yelled at her to stop, rushing past her.

The back door slammed as the dog was put outside.

Grissom raced upstairs, fuming over the mess.

"Sara…that dog…he has no discipline when you let him run wild. He's ruined all of the bed covers!"

"IIII dddidn't let him in!"

"He needs obedience school. He didn't do this when he lived with me or…"

Sara glared.

"Sssay it! HHHeather," she spat. "Your….wwhore."

There was a huge gasp as both turned to find Martha standing there with David.

Sara swallowed, trying not to add insult by throwing up in the muddy mess.

"IIII'mmmm ssssooo sssorry," cried Sara.

Martha's hands had covered David's ears.

"Mrs. Toliver this is my fault," began Grissom.

Martha turned and headed down the stairs with David.

Grissom and Sara rushed after them.

As they got to the bottom of the stairs, the nurse met them.

"Mr. Grissom, I heard the commotion. Is anything wrong?" she asked.

"Bruno got into the house," stated Grissom. "He was muddy."

"I didn't let him in," she stated. "I just got out of the shower and then Ms. Heather began to complain that she was nauseous again."

Martha turned at the reference to Heather.

Grissom almost groaned out loud when Heather appeared in her night gown.

"Is something wrong? Is David crying again?" asked Heather.

Martha looked down at David. "Have you been upset, David?" asked Martha.

She didn't wait for an answer but grasped his hand tightly.

"Ms. Heather the doctor gave you strict instructions for you to remain in bed," stated the nurse.

Heather smiled at the old woman. "I'm sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Heather Kessler," purred Heather as she extended her hand.

"She's Grissom's girlfriend," added David.

Martha's eyes widened.

"Ms. Heather, I insist you return to your room…for the baby's sake."

Martha looked at Sara and Grissom.

"Come on David," insisted Martha.

"But…where are we going?" he asked.

"You're…coming home…with me," she declared.

Sara gasped for air as she hurried toward Martha.

"PPPPlease….MMMartha," she began.

Martha continued to the front porch but stopped as she ordered David to the car.

Her stern voice told him not to ask questions.

Once he was out of ear shot, Martha turned to Sara.

"Is that…your husband's "whore"?" she asked.

Sara swallowed, upset that she'd chosen to lash out at Grissom at the wrong moment.

"I can see the answer by the look on your face…and that is…his child she's carrying?" she asked.

Sara was speechless not sure she could get out what needed to be said.

Martha took a deep breath. "My husband and I didn't have much but we gave David a loving…Christian home. I thought… you both seemed…like normal…moral people but I will not have David living…like this!"

Grissom stood at the door.

He knew it was pointless to try to talk with the old woman until she had time to calm down.

Sara grabbed hold of the railing as she watched them drive away.

He stepped out onto the front porch.

"Sara…."

".YOU!" she yelled as she ran off to the barn.

Inside, Heather chuckled to herself.

_Thanks to Bruno, that mutt has finally done something right…_

_Now, that I've gotten rid of David, Sara is next._

Grissom inspected the back door.

There was no way Bruno had managed to get the door open.

Someone let the dog inside.

He immediately went to the bedroom and looked at the two women.

"I'm going to talk with Sara and then…Mrs. Toliver. Mary, please clean the upstairs."

"Yes, of course," Mary stated as she stood.

Heather looked at the woman. "She's going to leave…me alone?" pouted Heather hoping she could guilt him into sitting with her.

"Even though you let Bruno in, someone has to clean the mess," barked Grissom.

He turned on his heels, slamming the front porch door.

Heather smirked.

The nurse looked shocked. "You did that on purpose."

Heather cleared her throat. "I did no such thing. The stupid dog wouldn't let me sleep with his whining so I opened the door and let him in. I didn't even notice he was muddy."

"You opened a door and then a screened door and didn't notice the dog was caked in mud?" questioned Mary.

"I just said that," she snapped.

Mary stalked out of the room. "That witch," she whispered under her breath as she headed up the stairs.

Sara kicked at the grass as she headed through the field toward the Toliver farm.

Grissom ran after her. "Sara, wait!"

He grabbed her arm but she hauled off to slap him and he ducked just as it whizzed by his head.

"Do you want them to see us fighting now?" he griped.

Sara glanced toward the approaching house.

"Martha needs to calm down…let David tell his…side…how he has been treated…and then tomorrow I'll go over there and talk with her."

Sara continued to walk toward the house.

"Sara, going over there won't help the situation."

She glanced once more at the house.

"Come back, honey. I promise I'll get Martha to change her mind."

"IIII wwant to ttalk to BBBrass."

Grissom bristled. "Sara, let tempers cool down."

"Jim!" she yelled.

"No."

"Yyyooou caan't kkkkeep me ffrom leaving."

"No, I guess I can't… just like before. You leave whenever things get rough."

He kicked himself mentally for verbally attacking her.

He knew it would only ignite her anger further.

Already he saw sparks in those chocolate orbs.

"Give Martha time to calm down…as well as yourself."

She trembled with anger.

"Come back…get something to eat…tomorrow, we'll go over there and explain."

He knew he never should have used the word "explain."

"Exxxplain? Hhhow you were sssso hhhorny you fucked her? Yyou cccommitted adultery? Yyou cheated on mmme? Yyou got ththat ssslut ppregnant while still married to me? I wish I had never married you!" she spat.

His jaw jerked. He was tired of the same tongue lashing.

"I'm tired of taking the full blame for this. You had a part in this Sara whether you want to admit it or not! What kind of wife leaves her husband not once but twice? I didn't deserve to be treated that way. The first time I tried to understand. I really did. You went through hell with Natalie and…I didn't know how to reach you. You ran before you really gave me a chance. The second time you left there was just no excuse, Sara! I was barely hanging on after Warrick died and you just left! While I was still trying to get Warrick's blood off my hands and shoes….I came home and you were gone! It was like getting kicked in the gut…and if that wasn't enough, then I got the video…"

She started to protest but he held up his hand. "How the hell was I supposed to know that you made the video…but never intended to send it? It was you Sara, standing there in front of that camera…your image, your voice…your words…cutting into my heart like a knife!"

He choked down his own sob. "You promised me the world…and then you took it away! Did I mean anything to you?"

She was deafly quiet and he suddenly realized how harsh he'd sounded.

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that," he pleaded as stood there visibly shaking from his outburst

He remembered how painful it had been to think that Sara had been intimate with Darren.

She felt her feet moving as she walked back toward their house.

She knew her body was on autopilot, needing to get to the sanctuary of her room.

He followed at a distance, not sure what to say, fearing that she intended to go back to the house and call one of the guys.

If he couldn't get David back, she would leave for sure.

Step by step she made until her feet came to the front porch.

She reached for the door handle but he was there opening the door for her.

He was puzzled when she bypassed the living room and walked right past Heather's room, into the kitchen and began preparing a cup of soup along with some crackers.

There was a huge commotion in the bathroom but it didn't seem to faze her as she fixed the meal, grabbing an apple followed by some water.

She acted as though she did not even see him as she retreated upstairs.

Grissom stood there following Sara's every move with his eyes.

Mary stepped out of the bathroom. "The beds have fresh linens upstairs and the soiled ones are in the wash. Bruno has been given a bath."

"Thank you, Mary."

"Mr. Grissom…were you able to persuade Mrs. Toliver to…"

"Tomorrow. We'll see tomorrow. I need to go…to Sara," he said.

"Ms. Heather wants to see you."

Grissom closed his eyes, wiping his face. "I don't want to see her. Good night, Mary."

He was not sure what to make of her silence.

His phone rang and he cursed out loud startling Mary.

"I'm sorry if you'll excuse me," he said as he stepped outside needing a breath of fresh air.

"Grissom."

"Griss? You sound awful," stated Catherine.

In all of the commotion he'd forgotten about the interrogation of the nurse.

"Cath…what did you find out?" he asked.

"The discharge nurse was paid a large sum of money to switch the seizure meds with a placebo. She states she was in debt up to her neck and needed the cash. She didn't think it would be a problem…I wanted to slap her," muttered Catherine.

"Cath…was she able to give you an I.D….the name of the man?" he said sounding impatient. He wanted to go to Sara, not sure that he should leave her alone.

"Get this. He's a private physician…although he never told her. She recognized him…said they worked in the E.R. together a few years ago and later heard he'd began his own practice…only for those rich enough to afford his fees. She doesn't remember his name but Brass has her going through the hospital database. It could take awhile."

"Did she…know Darren?"

"No. How is Sara? Langston seems concerned about her health but he's tightlipped about something."

Grissom looked up at the second floor of the house.

_I'm worried too…_

_I pushed too hard…_

_She didn't deserve that…_

"Martha found out about Heather and took David…back," he grieved.

"That must have been devastating for Sara. The guys said she was beaming that day during the lunch. All she talked about was David."

Grissom shuffled his feet.

_And I just took that away from her…_

_If I'd never gotten involved with Heather…_

"Gil…I'm not getting in the middle of this but the sooner you get Heather out of your house, the better."

By the time he got to the top of the stairs, she had already dressed for bed, having eaten most of the food she'd prepared herself.

The light was off as she lay there facing the wall.

He opened his mouth but closed it, dressing for bed and then got into David's bed.

Tonight there was a silent truce called.

Note from author:

Yeah, calm before the storm...or the buildup or whatever you want to call it...LOL

Take care!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six:**

Sara lay there, forcing herself to remain calm for the sake of her unborn child.

For days she had been trying to come to terms with the pregnancy.

On one hand she was elated while on another she was bitter that she could not share the news with Grissom, feeling that the revelation of his infidelity only cheapened her news.

She'd felt quite a jolt when Martha had taken David away, a jolt that continued through Grissom's gut clenching speech.

While she stood there listening to his words, Langston's voice echoed over and over in her head.

There was no way she was going to let Grissom or Heather harm her unborn child.

Given her sudden physical ailment, the best thing she could do was to give her body nourishment and then rest.

She did both of those things, blocking out the harsh words thrown at her.

The words were particularly painful because they were riddled with truth.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, angry that she was letting herself get upset but he had been right to some degree.

She had run, refusing his help.

She felt she was too close to the edge by that point, fearful she would self destruct before his very eyes.

Despite Grissom's pleas she refused to confide in him, a costly mistake in retrospect because she had only given Heather more leverage in her marriage.

The second time she couldn't stay and watch him self destruct, not sure if she was strong enough to remain in Vegas another day, fearful she would run into Heather and she'd enjoyed the brief reprieve from the witch.

Miles could do that and Costa Rica had been what she needed to heal.

_He didn't self destruct…_

_He went to Heather because I left…_

_it's not just his fault..._

She tried to sleep but couldn't.

She was sick with worry for David as well as the fear that if she and Grissom did not work things out she would be raising their child on her own while he…she wasn't sure what Grissom would do once Heather presented him with a son.

She knew Grissom would not turn his back on his own flesh and blood.

She couldn't bear the idea that just maybe Grissom would favor Heather's son over their child.

He had a habit of running to Heather's side in the past and didn't think that it would change even if she gave him a child of their own.

_But he has been trying…_

_What more could he do?_

_If it were me, I would protect my child also…_

She felt her life unraveling before her with no control over any of the circumstances.

_Like a puppet on a string…_

Her tossing and turning prompted him to check on her.

She felt him standing in the doorway.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped, thinking it was better to remain quiet.

"You…were always in control," she whispered out of the blue.

He was surprised how calm her voice sounded.

"Sara…enough has been said for one day. Let's just try to sleep."

"Yyou dictated everything," she said.

"I didn't," he protested.

"You did."

The last thing he wanted was to upset her further but there was no indication of distress in her voice so he continued. "How, Sara? You were…the one in control."

She switched on the lamp beside the bed grabbing the notepad.

"_I waited…for scraps of attention…a touch here…there. You reeled me in then tossed me away. You gave then took it back….and I just took it. I did whatever you said. I came and went by your orders. I gave you my body when you wanted it and then I did without when you wanted your space. I did everything…you wanted. Not once did you ever ask me…what I wanted. You decided how close I was allowed to get while I was already too close…like a moth to a flame feeling its wings being singed. I gave you my heart and you ripped it out. I feel like one of your butterflies…doomed the moment you touched me."_

Her words were harsh and he could tell that now she was getting upset but he wanted to clear the air.

"I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know how to share my life with anyone. I grew up in a world of silence with few friends or family. I was comfortable with the lab as my life…both professionally and private. I didn't know how to…let someone get close…so I kept you at a distance. It wasn't meant to hurt…believe me it was just as painful for me as it was you. I've loved you ever since that day you walked into the lecture hall. You showed me glimpses of what my life could be with you but I was afraid you would grow tired of me…leave me. I'm…not very romantic…or handsome. I was an aging entomologist who wanted what he didn't think he could have…you…and no one else. You kept pushing…dropping hints of how my life could be…with you and finally I took that chance…I risked everything to have you. Not a day went by that I didn't live in fear."

She looked surprised.

"I was always afraid you would leave some day," he laughed sadly. "I guess I was right in a way."

"_You left me…first. You went on your sabbatical…at her prompting. You didn't even have the courtesy to tell me! I had to find out from the others…never mind that that by time we were living together."_

He sat down on the bed, the revelation startling him that she knew Heather had convinced him that he needed to get away.

He wondered what else she knew but had kept it to herself.

He winced when she choked down a sob, smacking his hand away when he tried to caress her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you knew."

"Sssorry that I found out or…oor that yyyou did it?"

"Both," he admitted.

"I also…kknow she joined you…there."

He swallowed hard. "Sara…"

Her hand flew across the paper as she tossed the reply at him.

"_She took great delight in telling me every sordid detail…showed me the bracelet you'd purchased in a small shop." _

He edged closer. "There were no sordid details to tell! Sara, it's not like we planned this secret getaway behind your back."

"Dddid she meet you there?"

"Yes, but…"

She pulled up her legs, hugging them tight to her body, believing the worst in him.

She'd seemed so sad after he returned from the sabbatical.

Now, he realized she thought that he'd gone away in order to be with Heather.

"That's not how it happened! She said she had a meeting with a business partner and came by to visit. We took a walk…ended up down by the lake. I admit she kissed me and…I allowed it but…"

She tried to shove him off her bed but he refused to leave.

He took a deep breath trying to choose his words carefully. "No one had ever gotten as close to me…as you. No one had ever rattled me…like you. I wanted to be sure. I needed to be sure so when she kissed me, I let her. I needed to know if I would feel the same thing when I kissed her. I didn't. There was nothing there, Sara. It was awkward to say the least. When she tried to hold hands, I jerked away. I already felt…lonely…guilty for accepting the position without consulting you…the kiss just added more guilt. I told her the sabbatical had only shown me how much I loved you…how much I missed you….how much I needed you. Later she noticed she'd lost her bracelet and stated it probably came off after I jerked my hand from hers. She went into a local shop and saw this bracelet so I purchased it…to replace the one…she lost…because of me."

He didn't know what Heather had actually told her but he got a suspicious feeling it was much worse.

She scooted further away from him, not caring to swipe at the tears.

They sat there in silence until he finally said, "You never said anything."

She shook her head. "Hhhow ccould I? Yyou were always in control. I lllet you do…what yyyou wanted to do, hoping that someday I would be enough."

A tearful laugh escaped her lips as she hugged herself tighter as if by sheer force she could keep herself from unraveling further.

"Sara, I swear it was always friendship."

She snorted through tears. "Lllike my fffriendship with Greg?"

"Yes," he urged.

"Mmmaybe I should sssleep with Greg," she miffed.

"You wouldn't," he huffed and then frowned, knowing she had made her point.

"Yyyou went back and forth to hhher," she accused.

"I visited a friend," he corrected.

"You ssslept wwwith her."

His head began to ache at his stupidity knowing where the conversation would lead.

"When Heather lost her daughter…she was beside herself. Yes, I stayed with her…yes I slept beside her. She had taken something to help her sleep. I was concerned about her insulin levels."

She picked up the pad again. It was easier to write out the painful words rather than say them.

"_You insisted we move in together…I thought that meant something,"_ she commented.

"It did, especially after I came back from the sabbatical. I realized how much you were already a part of my life. I never regretted asking you to move in. I wanted you in my bed…every night. It made things easier if we lived together."

She nodded. _"I'm glad it was easier for you. It wasn't for me. It was too easy to know when you were with her. That night, I tried to call you but you didn't answer your phone…she did. She said you were worn out…asleep next to her."_

"Sara, I was worn out. I'd been awake for over sixteen hours."

"_I never saw you again until shift. You never offered an explanation…until I finally got up the nerve to ask a few days later and you said you were working a case."_

"I was. We were trying to find out who killed her daughter."

"_You were off the clock. You notified the lab not to contact you…you were on personal business. You forgot to tell me…the person living with you."_

"If I had heard the phone…"

"_Why didn't you? You've worked twenty-four hour shifts but always answered on the first ring and yet Heather, who took something to help her sleep…answered it…on the first ring."_

He remembered how sound he slept that night.

_Why did I?_

_You stupid dumb ass..._

"You never confronted me. If you had, I would have explained."

"_No, I didn't. That was my fault. I was trying to trust you but she kept flaunting her relationship with you in my face…while I gave all control…to you. I gave and gave each time Heather's name came up…each time she flaunted her "control" over you, I hoped you would finally choose me…over her."_

"I never knew Heather was doing…any of this. But, Sara, I did choose you. I proposed…more than once."

She sniffled. "Yyyou proposed and then the night…"

He grabbed her hand needing to hold on to her. "The night we were going to get married, Natalie took you. I almost lost you."

Both were silent for a moment.

"We never talked about any of this," he whispered. "You never even told me…about your abduction by Natalie. You never told me what you were thinking…what hell you endured. I had to read Jim's report to find out."

"_Heather said you were angry that I had allowed Natalie to get the upperhand…that I should have fought harder."_

"You survived where most would have died! Sara, I've never considered you weak. You're one of the strongest persons I know."

She shook her head. "Sssomething broke inside of mmee."

He leaned forward trying to get as close to her as he could.

"You couldn't talk about the abduction…the nightmares were horrendous."

"And yet yyyou…ssslipped around…wwent to her," she accused.

"No! Yes, I went to see her but I went…for advice…how to help you. I knew she was getting her license…" his head went into his hands. "I used to get angry because you wouldn't listen to me…now I know why."

"They were Hhheather's words…nnnot yours."

"God, Sara I didn't know."

"I hhhad to leave…I needed time ttto recover from what Nnnatalie did to mme. I cccouldn't do that and fffight Heather…tttoo."

"I'm sorry. I didn't see what Heather was doing. When you went away…I understood. I was giving you the space you asked for."

"Then Warrick died aand I cccame home. Yyyou were so…angry…with mme."

"I was angry with myself that I didn't pay closer attention to what was happening with Warrick. I blamed myself for his death."

"You blamed me."

He shuddered. "Yes, part of me did. I needed you home but you refused."

"_I couldn't…I was free from her taunts. You were burning out but you wouldn't listen. I tried to get you to take some time off but…"_

Grissom stopped her hand, reading the words already printed.

"I couldn't Sara! The lab needed me."

"_Yes it did…you chose the lab…over us."_

He hung his head. "Catherine made me see that…but by then…things had gotten…Catherine threatened to go to Ecklie if I didn't get my life in order. I was showing up late in the field, I was making mistakes…simple stupid mistakes. When I got the video, I…lost it. Once or twice Jim had to come and get me. I just couldn't bring myself to go into work. I couldn't go home and I didn't want to be at the lab….where everything reminded me…of what I'd lost. Heather…Heather offered me a room…so I didn't have to face…our empty home. It helped a little…but I wanted you. I couldn't eat…sleep…Heather tried to counsel me…I just wanted my life back…you." He gulped in air. "One evening…I collapsed. Heather helped me…to bed. I don't remember…much but when I woke up with Heather…I..."

Her hands went up indicating she didn't want to hear any more.

The last sentence obviously hurt her deeply and he tried to touch her but she cringed from his touch.

"Sara, I came to Costa Rica…for you. I needed to see you…speak with you," he said. "I wanted my wife back."

"_You left the same day you arrived, choosing to believe Darren instead of confronting me…knowing that you had already committed adultery. I guess it was okay for you to fuck someone else but not me."_

"I guess that is probably the real reason why I fled….guilty that I'd let our relationship get to that point. I'll regret that for the rest of my life."

"_Heather sent the email…to me."_

"I know. She admitted it."

"Yet, ssshe's still here," she said aloud, not believing what he'd just admitted to her.

"Sara…I want her out as much as you do but I have to think about…the baby."

_What about ours, Grissom?_

_Would you protect it?_

She took a deep breath, afraid of the answer.

It didn't matter because she had no intention of telling him that she was pregnant.

At the moment she didn't trust him with her life much less their unborn child.

It angered her that Heather was going to continue to get away with her cruel mind games.

"_She let Bruno make the mess." _

"Yes, she did…but we made Martha change her mind."

"_Heather planned to introduce herself…to let Martha know."_

"I have no doubt now that she would have," he admitted.

"_She got rid of David and now she'll target me next."_

Grissom leaned forward. "Heather is better. I will insist she go home."

"_It won't end."_

"I won't give you up," he vowed. "I'm not going to let her come between us anymore."

"_She'll use the baby…for her own selfish gains."_

"If the paternity test proves the child is mine, I'll fight for custody."

She was surprised that he questioned the baby belonged to him.

"_You don't believe her?"_

"No but I can't risk…challenging her right now."

The pen remained still for several minutes.

"Do you really hate me?" he asked softly.

"_I hate what you do to me…what you allow Heather to do."_

He grabbed both of her hands.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I won't hurt you anymore. I won't let Heather hurt you."

"Yyyou dddon't keep yyour promises," she wept.

"Listen to me. If we talk…really talk then she can't hurt us, Sara. She can't twist our words or our actions. Honey, please…give me another chance."

"Yyou've aaalways bbbeen in control," she wept.

"Not anymore. You are. Tell me, Sara. What do you want?" he begged.

"Ttto believe you."

"You can!" he insisted.

She didn't believe him.

His hand reached out and wiped the streaks of tears away from her cheeks.

"Can I hold you?" he asked.

When she didn't answer, he sighed.

He wouldn't push.

He kissed her gently on the forehead but her hands settled on his chest forcing him to back away.

"I'm sorry for letting Heather do that to you. I'm sorry that you didn't feel like you could tell me. I swear Sara, it only happened once…and it will never happen again. I still don't know how I let it happen. I didn't want her. I've never wanted her. I want you."

He stood not sure whether she believed him or not.

He didn't try to sleep in the same bed with her but used David's.

He stretched out on the bed cursing inwardly at how he'd fallen for every trick Heather had played.

He cursed inwardly now realizing that it had been Heather who had driven Sara away.

Without her taunts, he would have been able to help Sara.

They would have been together rather than thousands of miles apart.

Perhaps if Sara had remained, she would have been able to reach Warrick, saw that he was getting in over his head and warned him.

And just perhaps they would have a child of their own by now.

He swiped at his eyes, knowing that it was futile to go through the "what ifs" but he had no idea how Sara had forgiven him for his past mistakes.

He recalled the words from the story of The Velveteen Rabbit.

He gulped.

Sara had truly loved him with scars to show for it.

He had almost ruined that love by his relationship with Heather Kessler.

He cursed the day he had met the woman.

_I hate you, Heather…_

Note from author:

One of my favorite chapters is coming up...

Take care!


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven:**

The next day it rained.

He woke early going over to see Martha but was disappointed when they were getting into a vehicle with someone.

Martha still seemed upset but agreed to meet with them the next day.

By the time he returned, Sara had awakened.

She listened as he told her about David.

She closed her bedroom door and disappeared from sight for most of the day.

Once or twice he tapped slightly on her door but she begged him to leave her alone.

Finally that evening, he tapped once more but didn't bother to wait for a reply but walked in carrying a tray.

She'd eaten very little that day, choosing crackers and water as her source of nourishment.

She looked quite retched as she pulled herself up.

"I thought you might like some homemade soup," he offered.

She sipped on the soup as her eyes watched the rain continue to come down.

"Are you warm?" he asked.

She nodded as she closed her eyes, willing her stomach to accept the nourishment.

She'd been nauseous all day, not sure if it was morning sickness or nerves from their conversation the previous night.

It bothered him that she looked ill but refused help while Heather looked the picture of health and sat with a private nurse.

"Sara, I haven't said anything but…you don't look well," he stated.

Lightning lit up the sky and the lights flickered on and off.

Her eyes darted toward the window as the tree branches scraped the side of the house.

"The storm will pass soon," he assured her.

He knew she was afraid as she tried to act as though the thunder and lightning had no effect on her.

"You've never cared for storms ever since…" he didn't finish as the power went out with the last clap of thunder.

She jumped at the sound almost spilling the cup of soup.

"Stay here," he said. "I'll go downstairs and get some candles."

He started toward the door when lightning flashed.

He could make out Sara huddling like a small child.

"I'll be right back," he promised.

He took a step and then halted. "Will you be alright?"

"IIII'm fffine," she stuttered.

He picked up a couple of candles from the utility closet, giving a couple to Mary.

"Gil?" called Heather.

He stepped into the room.

"The storm will pass soon," he urged. "Mary has some candles."

"Stay…please," she urged.

"Heather…you're fine. Mary is here with you."

"I don't like being out here in the middle of nowhere," she muttered.

"You're fine," he said as he glanced upwards.

"Sara…Sara wants you. What's the matter? Is she afraid of a little rain?" she huffed.

His eyes glared at her and she cringed.

"Sara almost drowned under that damn Mustang she was pinned under…and yet she's not asked…for any comfort…from me."

"That should tell you a lot," quipped Heather.

"It does. It tells me I'm standing here wasting my time with you when I should be with her," he spat.

Her lower lip quivered as if she was going to burst into tears but he didn't hang around to catch the performance.

He returned setting several candles around the room.

He set one beside the bed and took advantage of the closeness to reach out and touch her forehead.

"No temp," he said. "You're not feeling well…I know it."

He removed the tray once she finished the soup, letting her ease back into the bed.

He sat down on the bed even though it irritated her.

His hand reached out to stroke her hair but she smacked it away.

It didn't deter him as he tried again even though she told him to get out.

He ignored her; his hand stroked her hair, remembering how she used to love for him to do that.

"The night Natalie took you…there was rarely a moment that I wasn't begging God to give you back. When I saw you lying there fighting for your life, I swore I would never let anyone hurt you again….but I did. I did….well before Natalie came along. I was blinded by what I was allowing Heather to do…to you…to us. Not anymore, Sara. I won't fall for the same tricks anymore."

He forced her to look at him. "I don't blame you for not trusting me anymore but I swear I'm not going to let you down this time."

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Try to sleep. I'll be in David's room…if you need me," he offered.

She watched as he stretched out on David's bed.

The bed creaked from his weight.

Lightning flashed repeatedly.

He opened his eyes and found her standing near the bed.

Her presence startled him.

Lightning flashed once more and she jumped to the sound of the thunder.

He opened the covers inviting her into his bed.

Another flash of lightning lit up the room.

"Sara, is something wrong?" he asked.

She retreated a bit but stopped when the thunder practically shook the house.

"The house is old but it's safe," he assured.

She stood there, her body swaying a bit.

He extended his hand. "Just lie with me, Sara…until the storm is over."

She shook her head as she headed back to her room.

He sighed.

It would have to be on her terms.

He'd thought she had left but then he felt her standing beside the bed this time.

He extended his hand again. "You're in control," he whispered.

His eyes widened as she slipped into the bed beside him.

Her body felt like ice but she recoiled when he tried to rub her arms.

"I was just trying to warm you," he soothed.

He would give anything to hold her.

The heat of his body beckoned her to move closer.

He held his breath as she slowly inched toward the warmth.

"Don't be afraid Sara…you're in control…of everything," he whispered.

Being beside him heightened her senses.

Her body already yearned for his.

She closed her eyes trying to will herself to return to her room.

His hand timidly reached out and stroked her hair.

It was soothing.

She inched closer until she felt his skin against hers but it was like a spark of electricity that flowed through them.

She took a ragged breath.

She wanted him but couldn't get past his betrayal.

She rolled away from him but the change in position made it far worse as she felt his manhood pressing gently into her.

She shifted again, rolling back over to face him but her movements were too swift and her face came too close to his.

Hungrily, he sought her lips.

He took full advantage of her willingness to let him touch her, almost crying out in relief when her lips opened and accepted the kiss.

Her body slipped under his like it had done a thousand times before.

His hands stroked her hair as his lips devoured her but withdrawing each time only to be pulled back by her.

He could feel her desire and need.

Without breaking the contact with his lips his hands quickly divested her of the panties while he removed his boxers, not wanting to waste any more time.

He needed to be inside her, to fill her completely.

She was too lost in the sensations for her brain to care what he was doing.

The bed creaked from the weight but he ignored it.

His hand slipped between their bodies, coaxing her legs further apart.

She gasped when his fingers dipped inside her.

Her scent wafted in the air and he swallowed.

He would never grow tired of this.

His shaft sank into her but his thrust was gentle as he slid fully into her.

"I love you, Sara," he choked as his thrust picked up momentum.

Tears slid down her cheeks and he kissed them away, his hips moving gently, setting up a familiar rhythm.

His own tears fell as he moved inside her, eager that she was responding, urging him to go faster.

With each thrust, the bed creaked.

She arched her body, giving him more access and he took full advantage of it, thrusting deeper and deeper.

"What is that noise?" grumbled Heather as she threw down the magazine.

"I'm not sure," admitted Mary as she listened intently.

Her face blushed and then a smile crept across her face. "Would you like for me to turn on some music?" offered Mary.

"No…where is Grissom?" she asked.

"He's with his wife…Sara."

Heather tossed the magazine aside.

"I want to talk with him," she demanded.

"He's busy."

"I doubt he's asleep at this hour," she pouted.

Mary grinned. "I'm sure he's not."

Realization dawned on Heather as the sound continued, gaining momentum.

There was a loud growl as Grissom teetered on the edge, trying to make it last.

There was a gasp as Sara felt herself going over the edge.

The bed creaked furiously and then stilled as Grissom spilled himself inside Sara.

Heather pretended it did not bother her as she picked up the magazine.

Mary sat there with her book.

The silence was not to last as the bed began to creak again.

Heather marched into the bathroom turning on the shower as she screeched.

"You haven't beaten me yet," snarled Heather to herself.

She could hear them more clearly in the bathroom as she stood there listening to the sound of their lovemaking.

Already Sara was panting and would climax any moment.

"Enjoy him…for now," she whispered. "He'll be back."

Grissom grunted his release.

"Ms. Heather, are you alright?" asked Mary as she knocked on the door.

"I'm taking a fucking shower," she yelled.

Mary chuckled.

He didn't know what to think when a loud sob escaped Sara's lips as she ran to her room.

He was fast on her heels trying to console her but she only pushed him away, not able to talk for the racking sobs that ensued.

"Sara…I thought you wanted it too," he grieved. "I just wanted…I just wanted to make love to you."

"Ggggo…ppplease," she wept.

"I'm sorry," he said over and over as he became just as upset as she was.

Her tears slowed as she tried to make sense of what he was mumbling.

"My fault…all of this," he choked. "I'm sorry," he repeated until her hand covered his mouth.

"Don't Gil. I knew…what I was doing," she whispered. "It just hurts…too soon," she cried.

When he refused to leave her room, she finally begged and he consented to the tearful request, afraid their lovemaking had only made matters worse between them.

He hesitated a moment but then returned to David's room.

Her scent wafted in the air with each toss and turn.

His sleep was fitful as his mind muddled through the information Sara had shared.

He wanted to throttle Heather but knew he would have to keep his cool.

By morning, he was up, getting coffee while waiting for Sara to stir but she didn't.

Mary was up early, making coffee and starting breakfast.

He smiled at the tray she had prepared for Sara.

"Thank you, Mary," he said.

"She's still sleeping," he said as he sipped on his coffee.

Heather appeared donning the low cut gown.

His eyes never turned in her direction.

She stood looking out into the backyard.

Her hips swayed as she made her way towards him but he grabbed the tray and headed upstairs without a word to her.

Heather clenched her fist.

"Would you like breakfast?" offered Mary.

"No. I'm not feeling well," spat Heather.

Mary looked concerned. "You do look bad."

Heather huffed as she marched into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Mary chuckled at the spectacle.

Hours passed while Sara slept.

She had cried for several hours while he sat beside her, stroking her hair, mumbling apology after apology until she forced him to leave.

Heather had requested his presence but he ignored her once more, staying near Sara while she slept.

He had no idea how he was going to convince Mrs. Toliver to let David return but he knew he couldn't fail.

His marriage hinged on getting David back.

If that wasn't enough, now he had to worry about someone else lurking in the shadows waiting to take Sara again.

When she began to stir, he slipped downstairs and prepared another breakfast tray for her sitting it near the bed.

He retreated to David's room and waited.

She rose gingerly and saw the tray.

She ate the toast and drank the juice, turning her nose up at the other items.

Her stomach was queasy but she knew the baby needed nourishment.

After a quick shower, she started for the stairs, ignoring him as he followed.

She took the familiar path across the field to the Tolivers.

Both arrived at the same time on the doorstep.

She knocked and Martha answered.

David rushed out of the kitchen but halted when his grandmother directed him to return to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry but I haven't changed my mind," stated Martha.

"I'm sorry for wwhat I said," began Sara. "It..iiit sstill hhhurts bbbut wwwe can ggive David a gggood home…III sswear I wwouldn't hurt him."

Martha eyed her and then Grissom.

"Mrs. Toliver, Sara and David shouldn't be punished…any further for my mistakes."

"I won't have my grandson living in a house…with a mistress…living there also," she huffed.

"She got sick…so we permitted her to stay…because of the pregnancy…my mistake. As soon as the doctor states she's physically able to leave then…"

"She looked healthy as a horse if you asked me…standing there in that…that gown," stated Martha. "I don't like that kind of women…and I won't have David exposed…to them."

"Then he won't be," assured Grissom. "We'll keep him away from her. She'll be gone soon anyway."

"You don't get rid of filth like that…any woman who can sleep with another woman's husband is just…trash…and you," snarled Martha. "You should be ashamed that…you would do such a thing to your wife. My James never looked at another woman the entire forty years we were married."

"MMMartha, I…llleft Gil. HHe thought…theeere is just so mmmuch yyou don't know. I…" Sara stopped feeling rather lightheaded.

"I'm sorry dear if I've upset you by what I've said but I speak my mind. David…David cares a lot about both of you and he's been very upset."

"Mrs. Toliver…would you permit David to at least visit every day?" asked Grissom.

"I don't know. He's already too attached to Sara and…you," she spat. "But...but he could come for an hour…as long as he doesn't step one foot in that house."

"Thank you," stated Grissom.

His hand took hold of Sara's, leading her away from the house.

Once they passed over the hill, he halted knowing that she needed to rest. "What's important is that we'll still be able to spend time with David. Once Heather leaves, I'll press Martha to let him come back."

His words were not convincing as Sara stared back at the old farmhouse.

"She'll let him come back…you'll see," he urged.

They started again but she stumbled grabbing for his hand.

He steadied her but then wrapped his arm around her waist for support when he felt her exhaustion by the short walk.

He felt her body lean into his causing his worry to increase tenfold.

Not a word was said as he practically supported her weight, going slow not sure what to make of her demeanor.

Once they made it to the front porch he sat her in the swing, calling for Mary.

She appeared immediately.

"Mary, get a glass of water," he ordered softly.

Mary took one look at Sara and hurried.

She handed Sara the glass and she took it, taking slow sips.

Mary and Grissom exchanged looks.

"I take it Mrs. Toliver didn't change her mind," whispered Mary.

Grissom shook his head.

"Heather did it on purpose," stated Mary. "She laughed about it."

Sara's eyes shot up, waiting to see how Grissom would react to the news.

_Please don't defend her…_

_Show me you've changed Gil…_

"Mary, I want to speak with Dr. Rollins personally today. It's time Heather went home."

Mary grinned. "Yes, sir."

Note from author:

Wonder what happens next….oh I forgot, I know…LOL.

Take care!


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight:**

Sara did not say another word as he watched her head toward the stairs.

He had no idea why he felt as if something or someone nudged him to follow her.

Neither looked back as Heather cursed at Mary.

"Why are you calling Dr. Rollins?" huffed Heather.

"Mr. Grissom wants to discuss your condition with him," retorted Mary.

"I want to talk with Grissom," she demanded.

"He's busy," announced Mary.

"Is Sara still upset over losing David?" she asked.

"Mrs. Toliver may change her mind…once you're gone," stated Mary.

Sara continued up the stairs with him following close behind.

When she halted on the steps, his arms encircled her. "Lean on me," he whispered.

She didn't protest as she returned to bed, suddenly feeling very tired from the walk as well as the confrontation.

Her heart sank when Martha did not seem moved by their pleas.

David had peeked out his window, his small hand pressed against the window pane.

Her heart hurt for him as she walked back to the house.

Her knee began to throb and was grateful for Grissom's help.

As she lay there on the bed, she knew he was worried.

He propped up the knee. "Stay off it," he ordered softly.

He stayed with her until he heard a car, knowing it was Dr. Rollins.

Dr. Rollins leaned forward and whispered to Heather. "I think your time here is up."

"I'm not ready to leave," stated Heather.

"Sorry…but there is going to be a change in plans. They're sniffing around the hospital. They know about the medication switch. I'm not going to lose my license just so you can torment some poor woman so she will leave her husband."

"I need a few more days," she purred. "and you are going to get them for me."

"Heather…"

"Let me remind you that your wife isn't going to be happy to know about your…habits."

She softened her features, letting her hand settle on his crotch. "We don't need to be angry with one another. A few days…nothing more."

Grissom appeared in the doorway.

"She's doing much better," stated Dr. Rollins. "I think in a couple of days she'll be able to leave."

Grissom frowned. "Why can't she go home now?" asked Grissom.

"Surely, you're not denying her two more days of rest. Besides, I had to inform Heather that there was a slight mishap at her mansion," stated Dr. Rollins.

"Mishap?"

"The downstairs water pipes burst and I have a crew there cleaning it up but it will be a few days. I think it would be best if she remained here just two or three at the most," he urged.

Grissom gritted his teeth but nodded.

Heather smiled inwardly.

Once Dr. Rollins left, he sprinted up the stairs.

Heather watched him disappear.

Sara said nothing as he explained the latest setback in trying to rid their home of Heather.

Her silence was palpable.

He objected when she rose from the bed and headed downstairs.

"Sara, you can't push yourself. Your knee is swollen and…"

"I wwwant to see David….alone," she said as she continued down the stairs.

He blocked her. "Her time is running out…as well as her excuses. I know you want to see David but…please, limit the use of your knee."

His phone rang and he opened it just as he plopped down on the bed.

"Grissom."

"The nurse wants to make a deal," stated Catherine. "Jim thinks she spotted the doctor's photo but is holding out for a deal. Can you come?"

He didn't like the idea of leaving Sara alone but then the idea of finally getting the man who had paid off the nurse urged him to get things moving.

If there was anyone else involved Grissom wanted them behind bars.

"I'll talk with Mary and be in soon," he stated.

He pulled Mary aside. "I have to go to the lab. There's a possible development."

"I'll make sure the doors remain locked and check in on Sara," advised Mary.

"Thank you."

An hour later Sara returned.

"How was David?" he asked.

"Upset…with MMartha."

"He shouldn't be. She's just trying to protect him."

Sara leaned back in the swing.

He frowned when he noticed the knee was not any better.

"Sara…I need to go to the lab. The nurse who switched your medication may be able to tell us who paid her off."

Sara nodded.

"I've asked Mary to look after you."

She frowned and started to object but she knew he would not change his mind.

He stepped closer to her. "Promise me you'll get some sleep?"

She nodded.

He stepped closer. "This is almost over," he urged.

The look of doubt was obvious but she said nothing.

He knelt down in front of her.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised as he kissed her softly at first but then deepened the kiss when she allowed it.

He withdrew his lips reluctantly, resting his head against hers.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered as he quickly walked away.

She accepted the dinner tray from Mary later, thanking her while she sat on her bed.

The house was strangely quiet.

"Ms. Heather turned in a few hours ago," explained Mary.

"Is...she alright?"

"Yes although she complained my cooking was awful."

Sara smiled slightly. "This is good."

"Get some rest," smiled Mary as she headed downstairs.

Sara finished off the meal and then returned the tray to the kitchen.

Mary came out of her room.

"You didn't have to do that," she scolded softly. "Mr. Grissom told me you were not to be taking the stairs with that knee."

Sara reached for the orange juice and filled a glass.

She stiffened when Heather waltzed out of her bedroom.

"My my Sara has made her way downstairs…without the aid of her knight in shining armor," Heather teased.

Sara took a gulp of orange juice.

"Have you heard the news? We're feeling much better," smiled Heather.

Sara ignored her comment, knowing she just wanted to exploit the pregnancy.

"I'm so sorry about David," Heather said as she eyed Sara.

"Can I get you anything else?" asked Mary to Sara.

"No thank you, Mary," replied Sara as she started to leave.

"Mr. Grissom called to check on you," Mary called out.

Both ladies turned at the revelation.

"He told me to tell you that he'd be home soon and to wait up for him," announced Mary to Sara.

Sara glanced at Heather. "I'll do that."

Anger flashed in Heather's eyes but it was brief as something caught her eye.

Heather turned and looked out the back window. "What's that?" she asked.

Sara ignored the comment but Mary glanced out the window.

She jumped to her feet suddenly and ran to the back yard.

Sara followed.

"There's a fire," breathed Mary.

"David," cried Sara as she hurried through the field.

Mary ran back into the house and dialed the fire department.

"I guess…you've lost David…for good," sneered Heather to herself.

Grissom stepped into the interrogation room with Brass.

He kept his eyes from the woman, bile rising at his contempt.

"I want a deal," she demanded.

"The D.A. is prepared to charge you…for conspiracy…."

"Look, like I told you before I didn't think it would hurt if I swapped out the seizure med. She'd not had a seizure in over…"

"What else did you do?" questioned Grissom.

"Nothing!" yelled the nurse but then she licked her lips. "I swapped out the seizure medicine with the placebo…then took her wedding ring."

Grissom leaned forward. "Why?"

"He told me to do it."

"Where is it now?" demanded Grissom.

"I gave it to him," she said. "If you want to go after somebody go after Mr. Money Bucks who wanted to make his client happy by taking her wedding ring…and switching the meds."

"Do you know the name of the client?" asked Grissom.

She shook her head.

Ray glanced at Grissom. "Could you tell us what you were supposed to do?"

The woman sighed in exasperation. "I told you."

"You told us what you did," he clarified. "What were your discharge instructions for Ms. Sidle."

"Fine. I was supposed to explain the seizure medication…which I did…only it was a placebo. I read out the warnings then I…" she stopped licking her lips. "I almost got caught snatching the ring…I forgot to dispense her medicine."

"Sara was in quite a bit of pain when we got to the farm. She was supposed to be given something before we left," Grissom glared.

"Look, I never meant to hurt anyone. I just needed the money to get back on my feet. Her seizures didn't seem life threatening…I figured she would have realized she wasn't given her birth control shot in a week or so and…"

"Her what?" asked Grissom.

"Her shot was due. I was supposed to give it to her but I…forgot about the damn thing. No harm no foul right?"

Grissom sat back in his chair.

His eyes connected with Langston.

"Look the person you want is…do I have a deal?" she griped.

Grissom leaned forward and grabbed the woman's arm. "Who?"

She became alarmed when his grip tightened. "His name is Rollins."

Langston and Grissom both grew alarmed.

"Are you sure?" barked Grissom.

"I never forget a face. He's a pervert…claims to love his wife while banging anything in a skirt. His client has money…a lot of it from the way he pressed for me to switch the meds. He could lose his license…so I'm sure he got a lot more than I did."

Grissom scrambled out of the chair, leaving the interrogation room with Langston and Catherine on his heels.

He was furious at his stupidity.

Catherine placed her hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off.

"My God, how stupid I've been," Grissom gritted. "Heather did this. She got Rollins to do her dirty work. She's probably been fine all along and was just there to torment the hell out of Sara hoping she would have a seizure."

He raked his hand through his hair.

His eyes glared at Langston as he pulled him further down the hall so their conversation could not be overheard.

"Did you know about…everything?" questioned Grissom in a hushed voice.

"I knew about the birth control shot."

"And you didn't say anything? Sara could be pregnant!"

By the look on Langston's face, he knew Sara was pregnant.

He stepped back, pressing his back to the wall. "Sara is pregnant…isn't she? That day you came with her things…she went into the house and came back out…she was upset but wouldn't tell me what was wrong."

"I gave her a pregnancy test…we needed to know what we were dealing with."

"And?"

"You have to ask Sara."

Grissom stepped toward Langston. "What about the seizure medication…could it harm the baby?"

"I didn't say she was pregnant."

"Ray!"

"It wouldn't interfere with a pregnancy."

_She was crying that day…_

_Doesn't she want our child?_

His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down but he was furious that he had fallen for Heather's deception.

"I'm getting an arrest warrant right now for Rollins and…when he gives us the name of his boss…Heather Kessler, I'll have one for her too," stated Brass as he joined them.

He waited for Grissom to object but he didn't.

"You know where to find her," gritted Grissom.

Grissom tried to calm down before he reached the house.

_Why didn't she tell me about the baby?_

He opened his phone and attempted to call Sara but there was no answer.

He glanced at his watch. "She's probably sleeping."

He dialed Mary's number and was relieved when she picked up.

"Oh Mr. Grissom I was just about to call you," she rushed out.

"Why…what's happened?"

"The Toliver house caught on fire. I've called the fire department…but Sara ran over there…Mr. Grissom?"

Sara broke into a sprint as she refused to let her injured leg slow her down.

Sara choked down a sob at the sight before her.

The house was already engulfed in flames as she made her way to the front porch.

She tried the front door but the heat burned her hands.

She stepped back but tried again.

Strong arms yanked her away from the front porch.

"Get away from the house!" yelled Grissom.

"David!" Sara cried.

Grissom started toward the door but it shot up in flames.

He had no choice but to retreat.

The front porch groaned and he knew it would be a matter of seconds before it collapsed on top of them.

"Sara!" Grissom yelled as she tried to break free. "They're already gone, honey. There is nothing we can do."

"No!"

A loud explosion erupted.

Grissom shoved Sara clear as the porch collapsed.

Fire trucks raced onto the scene.

Grissom pulled Sara further away as the front part of the house fell sending charred pieces of wood several feet into the yard.

"Was there anybody in there?" yelled one of the firemen.

"An elderly woman and her…grandson," Grissom choked.

Grissom's arms remained locked around Sara as she hid her eyes from the sight of the burning house.

Note from author:

Well, that was...sad. And yes, Peggy47 will send me hate mail...LOL

Take care!


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine:**

"Sir, we need to treat both of you," stated the medic.

Grissom did not reply but choked down a sob. "Just leave…us alone…please."

"Sir, were either of you burned?"

Grissom stepped back letting the medic look at both of them.

"Her hands are burned," noted the young medic.

She sat on the gurney with Grissom by her side as the medic treated the burns.

Grissom did not even realize his arm had been burned when the front of the house collapsed sending charred wood into the air.

There was another burn on his hand where he had blocked the debris from Sara.

Sara seemed to have fared the worst in her attempts to open the front door.

"I could give her something for the pain," the medic offered.

Both shook their head.

Once he was done, Grissom led her to his vehicle. "There's nothing we can do…let's go home."

Once they arrived at the house, he rushed over to the passenger side, helping her out.

Mary met them at the door.

Grissom shook his head as they entered.

Heather was nowhere in sight.

Sara's legs felt like lead as she made her way towards the stairs.

Grissom followed forcing her to lean on him as they took the stairs.

Mary followed, offering her services.

"Mary…when the police come…let me know until then I don't want to be disturbed especially by Heather," he bit out.

"Yes sir," she said softly.

Gently he washed away the dark smudges from her face and then her arms, being mindful of her latest injury.

He removed clothes next, sickened by the smell of smoke.

She was eerily quiet as she lay there.

He quickly cleaned himself, worried about her silence, not sure how to help her.

He spooned his body up next to hers as he gathered her into his arms.

His hand dipped down and protectively covered her abdomen.

A slight sob erupted and he held her tight. "I love you, Sara," he agonized.

He couldn't sleep as he lay there beside her.

She'd fallen asleep a few hours ago from sheer exhaustion, he was sure.

He slipped out of the bed making his way downstairs when he heard the sound of a car door.

He stepped out onto the front porch and met Brass.

Quietly he gave Brass the details of the fire that had killed the Tolivers.

"How is Sara?" asked Brass.

"She's quiet," answered Grissom.

Mary appeared briefly handing each of them a cup of coffee.

Brass took a sip. "Rollins refuses to give up the name of his boss. He denies any wrongdoing and claims the nurse was angry at him for jilting her. He claims she wanted to have an affair with him and he refused."

"Have Nick trace his phone calls for the past six months."

Grissom stood there holding the cup with both hands.

"Why so far back?" questioned Brass.

Grissom finally took a drink.

Brass stepped closer. "You think Rollins was connected with Reed."

"I'm tired of watching Sara go through hell," Grissom bit out. "First Natalie…then Darren Reed…then this mess with Rollins."

"You didn't mention the mess with Heather."

Grissom's face screwed up in anger at the mention of her name. "I'm not sure how much more Sara can take. Losing David…"

He took a ragged breath. "I'm going over to the Toliver place. The fire was too hot last night to try to locate the bodies. I want to be there…I need to be there when…" He didn't finish not sure how he would react when they carried out the bodies.

In the short time, he'd grown quite fond of the boy.

"I'll call you if there's any news. In the meantime, how long are you going to let that…witch stay?" Brass whispered.

"She's going to leave today whether she likes it or not," griped Grissom. "I know she hired Rollins. I just can't prove it…yet."

"I'll meet you over…there," stated Brass as he left.

Heather slipped back into the shadows.

_We were meant to be together…_

_If it wasn't for Sara…_

Grissom stepped back into the house as Brass left for the Tolivers.

He glanced up when he saw Sara coming down the stairs.

Bruno lagged behind her, sniffling at the bandages on her hands.

Mary stepped out of the kitchen. "I have breakfast," she offered.

Sara started to decline but Grissom was already leading her into the kitchen forcing her to sit down.

"Mary, I'm going to the Toliver farmhouse for a few hours."

"Why?" asked Sara suddenly.

"The scene is probably cool enough to…locate the bodies," he said quietly.

He grabbed Sara's hands gently but firmly. "I don't want you anywhere near there. I can handle it…understand?"

She nodded.

Heather stepped into the room. "I'm sorry about David."

Sara fled the room, letting the screen door slam.

She sat down on the porch swing, swiping at the endless tears.

Fury exploded inside Grissom as he lurched toward Heather causing her to step back.

He grabbed her by the arm. "Did you have anything to do with this?" he spat.

"The fire? You think I had something to do with it?" she asked incredulously.

"I know you hired Rollins to switch Sara's medication. What else have you done Heather?"

She looked shocked and then pure anger oozed from her pores. "Prove it. Prove any of it!"

His grip tightened on her arm but she stood her ground despite the pain.

"Heather, I think it's time you leave," gritted Grissom.

"You want me out of sight…out of mind," she glared.

"Mary…I'll be gone for a few hours. Call me if Sara needs me," he said as he threw down his napkin and headed toward the front porch.

"You don't even care about our child," she bit out.

"I care about your child….which is more than you do."

"Are you trying to deny that you're the father?" she challenged.

"I know I'm not the father….to your child."

Heather paled.

_Could Sara be pregnant?_

"We'll see…if I don't miscarry…because of this," she threatened.

His hands clenched into fists. "Then it will be your fault…not mine. No more guilt, Heather…not from you. If you're not out of this house within an hour then I'll have Brass take you back to Vegas. Mary, I'll send Jim over to stay with Sara until I can get back."

Heather screeched as he left the room.

"I can help you pack," offered Mary.

"Call Rollins…never mind. I'll drive myself," she muttered as she stormed into the bedroom, shutting the door with a bang.

Mary turned and began cleaning the kitchen.

Grissom took a deep breath as he watched how she tried to hide the tears.

He knelt in front of her, not liking how tired she looked. "I'll be back soon…then we can make the funeral arrangements."

She nodded, letting her head bob up and down until he pulled her into his arms.

"I don't want to leave you but I have to," he whispered. "One of us needs to be there…for David," he choked.

Her arms slipped around his neck and he held her tight, not caring that he felt as if someone was watching.

His lips touched her forehead and he was surprised when hers pressed against his cheek.

"I love you, honey," he whispered as his thumb swiped at a renegade tear.

"Are you sure…you want to…" Sara didn't finish.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I'll get Brass to come back and…,"

"I'll be fine. Mary is here."

"I told Heather…to leave. I don't want you alone with her."

Grissom hesitated a moment and then left.

He knew the sooner he got this over with then he could return.

Bruno's ears pricked as he stared at the barn.

Sara rubbed his head.

He bolted off the porch and ran toward the barn.

She took off after him, not wanting him to bother the kitten.

Bruno sat looking up into the loft, his tail wagging wildly.

"Bruno, no," she gulped.

There was a soft muffled sound above.

Sara gritted her teeth as she climbed the ladder, her hands stinging with each grip.

She looked over into the corner and almost cried out at the sight of David.

"David!"

He smiled.

"I'm sorry Sara I didn't come sooner," he said.

"Oh David. I am so glad you came here," cried Sara as she started toward him but halted when she heard a noise behind her.

Heather appeared.

"What do we have here?" asked Heather.

Sara stepped to the side hoping to hide David from view.

"What's wrong Sara? Lost your voice again?" she teased.

Heather lurched at Sara as she glanced back worriedly for David but he was nowhere in sight.

Both sprawled to the wooden floor of the loft.

Heather kicked at Sara but she blocked the punch. She could have easily gotten the upper hand but she couldn't risk hurting the child Heather carried.

She blocked each blow, sending Heather into a tirade.

She was already growing tired and needed to get away, fearful of harming her own child.

Sara scrambled to the edge trying to reach the ladder but she was shoved, sending her over to the edge.

"Heather stop!" yelled Sara. "You almost miscarried. Don't you care about your baby?"

"He doesn't want it….now. You wouldn't leave him alone. I sent Natalie…then Darren…that's right, Sara. I orchestrated all of it."

Heather glanced around, smiling when she caught sight of the piece of wood.

Sara cried out when it came down hard on her arm.

The snap of the bone was sickening.

Sara tried to force herself up but Heather stomped her bandaged hands.

"Grissom!" she cried out.

"Grissom is not here," smiled Heather as she picked up a piece of rope that had once secured a bale of hay.

She walked toward Sara plopping down onto her back and wrapping the rope around her neck.

Grissom slammed on his brakes, noticing that Bruno was following his vehicle.

He turned back, calling for the dog as he drove back into the driveway.

"Bruno, inside," ordered Grissom but the dog ran towards the barn with Grissom following.

Heather yanked the rope harder when she saw Grissom rush into the barn.

"Heather stop!" he ordered.

"She won't die! No matter what I do! She doesn't appreciate you…I do. I can make you happy," cried Heather as she continued to strangle Sara.

Sara's burned fingers tugged at the rope, straining for air.

Grissom yelled just as Sara rolled.

Heather lost her balance and both women scrambled to get to their feet.

Heather grabbed Sara trying to shove her out of the loft as Grissom struggled up the ladder to break up the fight.

Just as he stood, both women teetered on the edge.

"Sara!" Grissom warned.

Heather saw the peril, sneering at Grissom as she grabbed for Sara but Grissom interceded.

He grabbed onto both as they hung over the edge.

Heather continued to lash at Sara as Grissom tried to keep his grip on both of them.

"Heather stop!" he warned.

Sara's hand began to slip from his.

She cried out as he continued to try to get a better grasp knowing that it was her injured arm.

"Gil, let her fall then it can just be the two of us," begged Heather as she kicked at Sara who refused to fight back.

Sara's hand slipped again as Grissom teetered on the edge himself.

He warned Heather once more but she continued to claw at Sara.

He screamed at Sara when her hand released its grip and he almost dropped her.

"Sara!" he agonized as she hung there lifeless.

Heather kicked at her, using her other hand to try to pull Sara from Grissom's grasp.

"I said stop!" he yelled as he yanked at Heather, trying to force her to stop.

Heather screamed when he released her hand to grab hold onto Sara.

Her body landed on the ground below with a sickening thud.

He cried out when he felt his strength waning.

One final surge of energy enabled him to pull Sara to safety.

Mary ran to the barn.

"Call an ambulance," he cried as he held Sara's lifeless body.

She slipped in and out of darkness, seeing shadows of figures as well as distorted voices.

She felt her body being lifted.

"The baby?" Grissom asked.

_Heather must have been seriously hurt._

The sounds became muffled as she felt an oxygen mask over her face.

Her eyes tried to drift open but then the darkness crashed down.

_Sara fumbled through the darkness, bumping into a chair._

_She took smalls steps as she tried to make her way toward a wall._

"_Hold still," called Warrick as he turned on the light switch._

_Sara looked around._

"_Well, this is better than the lab. This must be your new house," smiled Warrick._

_She was standing in David's bedroom._

"_Yes…it is. Why was the light out?" she asked._

"_Come sit here on the bed with me," stated Warrick._

_He wrapped his arm around her as she leaned into him._

"_Because you're not sure if you feel the same here anymore," explained Warrick._

"_I thought I lost David….but I didn't he's alive," whispered Sara. "I can be happy here again…with David."_

"_But…you were happy here with Grissom?" he asked, pulling her chin toward him._

_She nodded. _

_The room began to darken._

"_What's happening?" she said as she grasped his hand._

"_Don't be afraid of the dark, Sara."_

"_I don't know what's…there," she whispered._

"_I think you know," stated Warrick._

_Sara shook her head. "I don't."_

"_Sara…Grissom was there when they pulled Martha's and David's body from the house."_

"_No! I saw him! He was in the loft."_

"_David got Bruno to go after Grissom so he would come to the barn. He went for help…this time. He wanted to save you," consoled Warrick._

"_No, Warrick…please…you're wrong. He's alive! He's…"_

_David appeared in the doorway. "I am alive Sara…in Heaven…but Warrick and I came back to say goodbye."_

_She shook her head over and over as her hands flew to her midsection._

"_Honey, the baby is fine," urged Warrick._

"_Heather….she took David away from me!" cried Sara._

"_No…she didn't. Mrs. Toliver set a pot on the stove and forgot about it. The fire was an accident."_

"_If she hadn't interfered David would have been staying with us…he would be…"_

_Warrick squeezed her hand. "No, honey. It was his time."_

_Sara looked in David's direction. "I went to sleep and then Warrick woke me up…took me to my parents…but we came back to say goodbye…oh and I got to help you with that mean woman. She got arrested didn't she?"_

"_Yes, David, she did," answered Warrick._

_David looked back into the hall. "I have to go, Sara. Don't worry, they said I can come and get you when it's your time…but that's not for a really long time," he grinned._

_He rushed into Sara's arms as she kissed him feverishly. "I love you David."_

"_Bye Sara," called David as he ran out of the room._

"_He and his Dad are going to play ball while his Mom watches," explained Warrick._

_He stood and extended his hand. "I have to go now. This is the last time I get to do this."_

"_Warrick…why did you…I mean why did you get to come to me?"_

"_I didn't get to say goodbye to you…I think you needed it more than anyone else. Sara, death is not so…bad. I am with loved ones. You'll be here someday along with Grissom and…oh I almost told you what you're going to have."_

"_You know?"_

_He winked._

_He started for the door watching as she clutched David's teddy bear._

_Warrick turned crossing the room to pull her tight in his arms. "I'm counting on you…don't forget that."_

"_For what?"_

_He kissed her on the forehead. "When the time comes, you'll know."_

"_Warrick…"_

_Warrick released her. "I have to go."_

_She held onto his sleeve as his fingers gently slipped through hers._

"_Sara…let go."_

_He closed the door but already he could hear someone coming._

_The light began to flicker as she hugged the bear once more before returning it to the bed._

_The door knob turned and she could hear the sound of her name being called._

She opened her eyes, and turned toward the sound of his voice.

The conversation was becoming rather heated.

"I don't care what she told you before, she's my wife and I'm entitled to know about her condition," griped Grissom.

"Gil, lower your voice," warned Langston.

"Ray…" Grissom stopped when her head turned toward them.

She blinked several times trying to focus on the two people standing in the corner of the room.

"Gil…I want you to leave," whispered Langston.

He was gone in a flash, Sara's eyes following his every movement.

Note from author:

Okay….probably some hate mail…it was good news and bad news… Okay, so here is the deal. I am posting very early today because I am going to be out late. Tomorrow I will be on the road for most of the day so I am going to try to post before I leave in the morning. Please be sure to leave a review for each chapter...honor system..

Take care!


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty:**

"You've been out for a long time," Langston stated. "How do you feel?"

"Woozy," she admitted.

"It's the effects of the anesthesia."

"Baby?" she quickly asked.

"The baby is fine," he urged. "You've broken your arm again. We had to insert a pin this time. You've managed to add another knot to your head as well as bruising of your ribs. The good news is your leg was not reinjured. You should be able to leave in a few days provided there are no complications. We have you on restricted bed rest…to ensure there are no complications with the pregnancy. You took quite a beating by the looks of the bruises on your body."

She nodded wearily.

"You've not told him about the baby…have you?"

"No," she managed to get out, the queasiness getting the best of her.

"You may be a little nauseous after the surgery," he warned.

"I want to…I'm not ready to discuss the pregnancy with…him," she urged.

"You want to be the one to tell him about the baby?" he clarified.

"Yes….but now is not the time. I need…" she heaved.

A nurse stood with a plastic bowl as she continued until she moaned.

"I'll give you something," offered Ray.

Hours later she woke as Grissom sat in a chair near the window.

He was rather quiet, not offering conversation as he sat there watching her as she turned slightly to assess the nausea.

Slowly she sat up, annoyed with the I.V.

"You were dehydrated," he explained as he remained in his seat.

It seemed odd for him to be so far from her.

"David," she began.

"I've taken care of the funeral arrangements," he swallowed.

"That…can't be," she whispered. "He was there…in the loft and then Heather…" she felt her head.

"A concussion…I presume," he bit out, still angry that he was barred from knowing about her medical condition.

She struggled to a sitting position, ignoring the pain. "David…where is he?"

Grissom inhaled deeply. "Doc is releasing the bodies…I scheduled the funeral for tomorrow morning. I know you won't be able to attend but…"

"Bodies?"

He rose from the seat, not liking how agitated she'd become.

"Sara…I've arranged for David and his grandmother to be buried beside…"

"David is not dead!"

Grissom paled. "Sara, David died in the fire…with his grandmother. Don't you remember?"

"No! He was there…in the barn," she gulped. "I saw him…then Heather came….what did she do to him?" she cried.

"Sara…"

A nurse stepped into the room. "Is everything alright?"

"Sara is a bit confused…agitated," whispered Grissom.

"I'll call Dr. Langston," stated the nurse.

"Stop talking as if I'm incapable of…" she didn't finish the statement as she remembered Warrick's words.

"Warrick," she choked.

"Get Langston," ordered Grissom as he came near the bed.

_It wasn't a dream…_

_David is dead…_

_My sweet David is gone…_

_Heather must be gloating…_

"Heather," choked Sara.

"Sara…calm down," cautioned Grissom.

"Calm down?" she screamed. "David is dead! Heather…"

Grissom interrupted her, "Heather is dead."

Sara looked shocked.

"She's dead," he repeated angrily just as the door opened and a nurse appeared.

He disappeared as the nurse inserted something.

"Don't!" she pleaded.

"It's just to calm you, honey," assured the nurse.

_He's upset that Heather is dead…._

_His child is dead…_

_His child died because of me…_

Grissom leaned against the wall as he waited to see if she had calmed.

It seemed he did nothing but upset her these days and he knew that it was not good for the baby.

_Baby…_

He didn't even know if she was still pregnant or if she'd miscarried.

No one would tell him anything.

He took a deep breath trying to lower his blood pressure as he considered his next move.

_This is my fault…_

_All of this…_

_I have to think about what's best for Sara…_

_Not me…_

She woke hours later, feeling worse than before.

There was no evidence that he'd returned as she sat there feeling rather retched.

She wasn't sure if it was because of the anesthesia or morning sickness.

She grabbed the small container on her table keeping it handy just in case she had to vomit.

Nick stuck his head in the door. "Want some company?" he asked.

She nodded but then the vomit spewed forth.

He held the container for her as she hurled a few more times.

"Want me to call for a nurse?" he asked.

"No…it will pass," she said as she tried to cradle her arm.

"Where's Grissom?" asked Nick angrily.

"He's not outside?" she asked.

"I didn't see him but I'm sure…"

Another wave hit and she clutched the pan closer.

"Nick…get the nurse," she managed to get out.

A nurse appeared giving her something for the nausea.

"You have it bad, hon," clucked the nurse. "This should help."

Once she seemed better, the pan was taken away but a clean one took its place just in case.

"How is the arm?" asked Nick.

"Hurts…but not as bad as before," she winced, trying to find a more comfortable spot.

The door opened and Grissom glanced inside. "I'll come back later," he offered.

"I have to get to work. I just wanted to stop in for a moment," stated Nick as he glared at Grissom briefly.

Nick leaned over and kissed Sara on the forehead. "Get better," he urged as he walked out.

Grissom stood there, not sure whether he interrupted something or not.

"The nurse said you've been sick," he said.

"Anesthesia," she explained.

He nodded but then conversation ended and awkwardness remained.

"I'm…sorry…about Heather," she finally said.

"Why would you be?" he asked angrily.

She tensed not sure what to make of his sudden anger.

"I…nnnever meant…I didn't…" she was interrupted by the door opening and an officer stepped in.

Brass followed. "Hey kiddo, we heard you were awake. I need to ask you a few questions…to take a statement into the death of Heather Kessler. Are you up to this?"

She glanced at Grissom and it was obvious he was upset as he turned away.

She nodded to Brass, not sure how to read Grissom's behavior.

Brass whispered something to Grissom and he left the room.

His absence unnerved her.

"Are you sure?" asked Brass.

"Yes."

She answered the questions trying to remember every detail and was glad her brain seemed to be functioning better than the last time she had gotten a concussion.

It was only through the questioning that she learned Heather had died instantly, having been impaled by a sharp jagged piece of wood.

It took about an hour and finally the officer left while Brass remained.

"Jim…Gil…"

"He's been handling the funeral arrangements for the Tolivers…they were buried today… then there's the matter of Heather," explained Brass.

"Today? David's funeral was today?"

"I'm sorry…I know you wanted to be there but Sara I don't think you're in any condition to attend a funeral," reasoned Brass.

_David is buried and I wasn't there…_

Langston came in with another doctor.

Again, Sara searched for Grissom but he was nowhere in sight, his absence rattled her.

"Let's take a look at your arm and then I think we'll be ready for a cast," explained Langston.

Sara nodded sadly.

"Sara…are you alright?" asked Langston.

"Yes," she faked.

Once the cast was finished, a nurse appeared with her medicine.

"I hear you're going to get to go home tomorrow," smiled the nurse.

"I am?"

She expected Grissom to appear but he didn't as she drifted off to sleep, the pain medication lulling her away.

She was awakened by the nurses as they took out the I.V.

The chair near the window remained vacant.

Once the I.V. was removed, the nurse patted her on the leg. "I'll go over the discharge papers with you and then you'll be ready to go home."

She half listened to the discharge papers already knowing the "do's and "don't" when it came to a broken arm.

She signed the release and then took the discharge papers.

Later, Greg stepped into the room toting a bag.

"Ready to break out of this place?" he asked. "I'm your ride."

She looked confused and then nodded numbly as he began packing her things.

He joked as she was rolled out of the hospital but she did not crack a smile, too emotional from Grissom's absence.

He tried conversation several times as they drove to the house but she could barely keep up with the topics.

She covered her mouth as she motioned for him to pull over, barely making it out of the vehicle.

He stood there waiting until she was through before handing her a small towel and a bottle of water.

It took another trip to the side of the road before they could make it to the house.

Once they arrived, Mary was there to greet them.

Sara was in no condition to argue when she was led to the room she once called theirs.

She noticed the room had been altered.

There were new bed linens with a matching rug along with a lamp on her side of the bed.

A photo of her and David sat on the bedside table.

Once she was settled in bed, Mary brought a tray with food but she wasn't hungry.

"I have to get back," stated Greg as he glanced around.

"Greg…" She wanted to know where Grissom was but stopped not wishing to put the young man in the middle of their problems.

"Hey Sara…stay in contact," he urged as he left.

Mary reappeared after Greg left.

"I could sit with you," offered Mary.

"Mary, I don't need you to stay with me," stated Sara.

"Mr. Grissom hired me to stay with you."

Sara pulled up the covers and then boldly asked, "Where is Grissom?"

"He's in Vegas. He's been staying at his townhouse. It's been easier for him to be there than…here."

_So that's it…_

_He's left me…_

_He's mourning the death of Heather and his child…_

_They died because of me…_

_He blames me…_

She swallowed as her old insecurities took over as she nodded. "You can leave."

"Mr. Grissom insisted that I stay."

"Then he can be mad at me…not you."

"Sara…you're not supposed to get out of bed…according to your discharge papers."

"Discharge papers?"

They were still crumbled down in her bag.

"Ray ordered bed rest for a few days," she explained.

"Mary…" by the look on the woman's face she had no intention of letting Sara push her out of the house.

"Tonight," Sara agreed. "Then tomorrow I can manage."

"We'll see about that," stated Mary as she went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Grissom rubbed his hand over his face as he waited for Doc.

The older man entered Catherine's office in a rush.

"I'm sorry Gil it took so long but there was a rush job on a John Doe…who's now been identified."

Grissom leaned forward in his seat, his exhaustion evident in his manner.

"Heather was only three months pregnant…a girl not a boy…and it wasn't yours."

Grissom nodded.

"I thought this news would help," offered Doc.

"A child died none the less whether it was mine or not. Heather didn't care…she wouldn't stop. I had no choice but…" he stopped too tired to talk.

"Gil, her death is not your fault. As I understand it, if you hadn't let go then Sara might have fallen. Sara could have been killed."

"You think I don't know that? I've let this woman torment Sara until she fled…ran from me and the only home she's ever known. She tried to kill Sara…not once but three times…she may have killed David and his grandmother…because of me," he choked.

"I wasn't accusing you of anything. You're doing a fine job on your own. Go home Gil and be with Sara. She needs you."

"I'm not sure she wants me there. She didn't even want me to know… about her medical condition."

Doc patted the man on the shoulder. "Go home…you need her and whether she wants to admit it or not, she needs you to be there with her."

By the time he got home it was rather late.

He trudged through the front door, trying to be quiet as he made his way to their bedroom.

Mary opened the guest bedroom door. "She just went to sleep less than an hour ago."

"How is she?"

"She's weak though she won't admit it. Mr. Grissom, she agreed to let me stay with her tonight but she was quite adamant about taking care of herself."

"What do you think?" he asked as he leaned against the doorframe, watching her sleep.

"I think you need to sleep or I will be your private nurse," she smiled.

He sighed out loud.

"I think she needs my help for at least three days…then we'll see how she manages on her own," Mary stated.

"I agreed to start at the lab at the end of the week," he said.

"Let's see how she does," replied Mary. "There are some leftovers if you're hungry."

"Thanks Mary," he said as he lingered in the doorway.

Mary hesitated a moment. "She asked about you," she threw out just before she returned to bed.

He knew better than to seem hopeful.

He couldn't imagine how Sara could stand to have him touch her after the pain Heather had caused.

It was his fault, he reasoned over and over.

Three times Sara had fought valiantly with battle scars to show for it.

She almost fell while she tried to shield herself from Heather's blows while refusing to fight back.

He knew it was because Heather was pregnant.

His head ached from lack of sleep.

He started toward the bed as a slight moan escaped her lips.

Gently he stroked her hair, whispering softly to her.

When she quieted, he started to leave but her hand caught his.

"What is it?" he whispered. "Is something wrong?"

"Griss?"

"I'm here," he said sadly.

"I didn't think you…would come back. Mary said you've been staying at the townhouse."

"I have…I needed to take care of some things."

She nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry you couldn't attend," he said.

She nodded.

He started to get up but caught the distressed look causing him to sit back down. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

It was after 1:00 a.m. already and he knew she needed to rest.

He stood, dreading the empty bed that waited for him at the top of the stairs.

Bruno's head rose off the rug and he whined slightly but then fell back to sleep.

She flicked on the lamp just as he made it to the door.

"Is there something you need?" he asked.

She shook her head.

He hesitated another minute before starting toward the stairs.

"I'm sorry about the baby," she finally got out.

He froze fearful she was talking about their child.

She wasn't sure whether he heard. "I'm sorry about…your son."

Even in the dim light, she could see how his eyes darkened.

"Me too," he admitted. "She was an innocent."

"She?" Sara asked.

"The baby was a girl…not a boy. She was only three months pregnant…" he stopped too tired to discuss Heather and her lies.

He glanced in her direction and it was obvious she wanted to ask something.

"It wasn't mine, Sara."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he asked angrily.

He swiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

She didn't know how to take his anger.

She had never seen him on edge before.

Pure anguished blue eyes turned toward her. "I let go of her hand and she fell…to her death."

Sara swallowed mistaking his anger for grief that Heather was dead.

"I don't remember…much except hanging over the edge. I couldn't get a grasp of the…"

"You passed out. You let go of my hand but I still had yours…and hers. I couldn't hold on to both of you."

_He feels guilty for her death…_

"Gil…"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to get some relief from his headache.

The last few days had been too draining.

While he tried to ascertain Sara's condition there was the excruciating pain of burying a child that had brought joy into their lives.

Then, there was the matter of Heather Kessler.

He knew before Doc opened his mouth, that the child she had been carrying was not his.

It tore at his gut that he had allowed that woman to manipulate him so easily almost costing the life of the only person he had ever loved.

Now, as his conscious weighed heavily with the burden of the past pains inflicted on Sara by Heather, there was the added burden of Heather's unborn child that was used as a pawn, the deaths of the Tolivers no doubt at the hands of Heather and possibly his unborn child with Sara.

He had wanted to make her discharge as painless as possible, getting Greg to be there for her and then arranging the medical care with someone Sara already knew.

Nothing seemed to be helping.

Greg returned with news of her illness as well as her emotional upheaval of returning to the farm.

Mary's report was not much better.

He just didn't have it in him for a confrontation, too beaten down with guilt and remorse.

He disappeared before she could say another word.

Note from author:

There is where I caution you that there are only ten chapters left. Sorry but even the best thought out plans sometimes don't work out. I had no internet connection this morning so I couldn't post until now.

Take care!


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One:**

He was gone once more by the time she woke the next morning.

It saddened and angered her.

She had tried to stay up, hoping he would come home but then exhaustion had won out.

Mary insisted on following her about as if she was some invalid.

She was irritated by Mary's constant presence.

Sara lashed out when Mary insisted that she leave the bathroom door open in case she needed her while she bathed.

Her arm throbbed mercilessly but she refused to take the pain medication until it was unbearable.

The nausea remained and she tired easily but by that evening, she was determined to send Mary on her way.

The woman refused to leave which irritated her further.

Grissom's absence bothered her but she put up a good front.

She knew that Grissom had probably tapped into their savings to pay for the funerals and she did not want him to have the added burden of paying for a private nurse for her.

She was sure he had paid Mary to care for Heather.

She sat in the porch swing, the air a bit brisk with a hint of fall.

"I no longer need your services," stated Sara as she stood by the railing.

"Sara…you're not supposed to be out of bed," Mary scolded.

"Mary….please. I can take care of myself," Sara insisted.

"Mr. Grissom said…"

"If Grissom was really concerned he would be here…and he would see that I'm fine," she urged as she leaned against the railing for support.

"Sara if you were honest, you would admit that you need my help," protested Mary. "Mr. Grissom **is** concerned…more than you know."

The last part caught her by surprise.

"Mary…has he mentioned the funeral to you?" asked Sara softly.

Mary folded her arms. "No…but he kept to himself…didn't sit with the others even though they were supposed to be his friends."

"The others? She asked but then added, "You went?"

Mary was hesitant to say anything further.

"Mary…please."

"I went…as well as Dr. Langston and your coworkers. There was no one else except a few neighbors," she stated as she took a deep breath. "David was such a sweet boy. Mr. Grissom's eyes used to light up every time he spoke about the adoption. The light just sort of went away the night David died. He's been quiet…won't talk much anymore except to ask about you…and to ask about Heather."

Sara bristled.

"He keeps asking if Ms. Heather left her room that night…if perhaps she had started the fire."

"Did she?" but then Sara quickly remembered what Warrick had told her.

_It was an accident…_

"Heather didn't do it. It was an accident," Sara stated.

Mary stepped forward. "Sara…Mr. Grissom…I'm worried about him."

Sara's heart thudded loudly. "Why?"

"You have to ask? Sara, he accepts guilt like it's a layer of skin. He's carrying more than his share right now which can't be good for him….he's much too stressed."

"IIII kknow," replied Sara.

"I didn't mean to upset you," said Mary softly.

"You didn't."

"It's none of my business but…your husband…loves you very much. He just seems…alone. I thought…I just thought you should know."

"Thank you," Sara whispered. "II know he wants you to stay but…I can manage," Sara insisted.

Mary shook her head but Sara refused to back down.

After an hour of arguing, Mary muttered under her breath as she sat in her vehicle.

He answered on the first ring.

"I'm sorry Mr. Grissom but she practically threw me out of the house," huffed Mary.

Grissom sighed as he signed the last of the papers and then handed them to the banker.

"I'll be home soon," he said gruffly.

He turned over the keys to the townhouse and then left.

The house was eerily quiet as he opened the front door, trying to be quiet in case she was asleep.

He was not prepared to find the bedroom empty.

He glanced outside and saw Bruno on the back porch.

"Where's Sara?" he whispered to the huge dog as he let him inside.

Bruno quickly headed upstairs as Grissom hurried, knowing she was supposed to be on bed rest.

He was out of breath by the time he topped the stairs.

Bruno nudged Sara's hand as she slept on David's bed.

She pushed his wet nose away but then woke immediately.

"Bruno?"

"What are you doing up here?" he growled.

"Sleeping," she replied irritably.

He breathed in deeply trying to catch his breath.

He blocked her when she tried to get out of bed.

"Ray ordered bed rest," he griped.

"I know what he said….that's what I was doing since I couldn't do it down there," she breathed.

"Then stay there," he ordered.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she spat not sure why their tempers were getting the better of them.

He waited impatiently outside the door, not liking when she practically shut the door in his face.

When it opened, he stepped back allowing her to pass.

Once she was in bed, he fidgeted as he waited for her to get comfortable.

It was obvious she was in pain, increasing the guilt he already felt.

"Mary said…"

"I don't need a private nurse," she announced.

"You need someone with you… in case…" he didn't finish.

She had yet to tell him about the baby.

He still wasn't sure whether or not she was pregnant, fearful she had miscarried from the beating.

Langston refused to give him any information.

Even Mary was bound to confidentiality.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked finally, not liking that she'd left their bed and retreated here.

"No," she hissed, not liking how angry he looked.

"Look…" he began.

"I don't need your help," she interrupted.

"Ray ordered…" he gritted his teeth.

"I'm in a bed," she huffed.

He waited a moment to let tempers cool down.

"How is your arm?" he asked.

Her fingers were swollen and it was obvious she'd have to prop it up higher.

She shoved a pillow under it.

He grabbed a pillow from the next room, intending to place it under her arm but she reached for it, not wanting his help.

He refused to relinquish it.

Finally she jerked hard on the pillow and it flew back knocking over the framed picture of David causing it to fall to the floor.

Both froze.

Grissom slowly picked up the frame, noticing the cracked glass.

Sara choked down a sob.

"He was just a little boy," she cried. "He shouldn't have died so young."

Grissom fled the room, practically running down the stairs, slamming the door of the study as he leaned against it.

He gulped down his own sob.

"I'm sorry David. It's my fault," he cried.

He couldn't bear to see the look on Sara's face, fearing he would see what was already on his.

His guilt over the young boy's death was slowly ripping him to shreds.

Gulp after gulp of sobs tore through him until he could no longer hold it in.

His shoulders shook as he covered his mouth trying to stifle the mournful sounds.

Sara didn't know what to think of Grissom's behavior.

Her finger tips caressed the broken frame.

Bruno whined as he glanced back at Sara before running down the stairs.

Gingerly, she followed, halting at the bottom of the stairs when she heard the mournful sounds coming from the study.

Bruno scratched at the door of the study but Grissom ignored him.

Gently Sara opened the door but stepped back at the anguished expression on Grissom's face.

"Sara…please, you're not supposed…" he stopped fearing the worst.

_She lost the baby too…_

_I've taken everything away from her…_

"Gil," she sniffled, not sure what to say to him, too grief stricken to make sense at such a tragic loss.

"It's my fault," he gulped. "It's my fault David is dead."

Sara looked shocked at his declaration.

"He was just a little boy…he didn't deserve that. He didn't," Grissom covered his mouth to stifle the sob.

Sara flew around to the side of the desk, kneeling in front of him. "It was not your fault, Gil."

"It was! Just like it's my fault that you almost died because of Natalie…Darren…Heather was behind all of it…just like the fire. I'm sure she set it…to get rid of David!"

"No! Martha left the stove on. It was an accident."

"How do you know…"

Sara leaned in closer to him. "When I went into the barn…I saw David…he was there."

Grissom shook his head but she stopped him. "I know it sounds crazy but he was there…and then later…I saw Warrick with David."

She knew he didn't believe her but she pressed on. "Warrick came to me…when I was in the coffin…urging me to hang on…and then later he came to me when I refused to wake in the hospital. He forced me to wake up. He came one last time…with David…so I would know that David was okay…that the fire was an accident."

"Sara…"

"I know it sounds crazy but…Heather didn't start the fire. It was an accident."

Sara sniffled. "Warrick said it was David's time….that there was nothing we could do to…save him."

She looked at Grissom. "Honey, it wasn't your fault," she urged.

His trembling hands cupped her cheeks. "I let her into our lives…I should have seen what she was doing. She almost killed you, Sara. Heather…Heather was behind Natalie…and Darren…she wanted you dead."

"Don't. Let it go," she winced at the pain in her arm.

Grissom examined her arm. "You have so many scars…because of me."

"Because of Heather…not you."

He shook his head. "I did this….by letting her into our lives. I should have seen…I should have seen the evidence. It was there…I was just too blind to see it."

"I don't blame you," she emphasized. "This is not your fault."

He heaved deeply, letting out a mournful sob. "I don't blame you for not trusting me anymore but I tried Sara, really I did to make it as painless as possible. I changed our room; I got Greg and Mary…"

"I didn't need Greg…or Mary. I need you," she wept.

"I didn't think you wanted me…not after…"

She kissed him softly on the lips as he clutched her body taut against his.

"We need time," she whispered. "Time to heal…from all of this."

"Then…you're not going to leave…me?" he asked quietly.

Her heart ached for him at that moment, recognizing the scars she'd inflicted herself.

"No…I'm not."

He seemed relieved but then spoke up, "I sold the townhouse. I won't be staying there anymore. I'll be staying here. Is that alright?"

"Yes," she swallowed, angry at herself for causing such fears.

"I'm sorry I woke you. You should go back to sleep….but Sara, you shouldn't be climbing the stairs, Langston said bed rest."

"I just wanted to feel close…to David," she said.

She returned to their bedroom slipping back into the bed.

He leaned against the doorway, not sure if he was welcome.

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

She shook her head as she closed her eyes but they shot open when his footsteps headed away from the bedroom.

"Gil?"

"Yes?"

"You should try to sleep also."

"Sara…" he wanted more than anything to ask about the baby but couldn't bring himself to know.

She was tired as well as in pain and if she had lost the baby, he didn't want to remind her of the loss.

She waited for him to finish but he merely whispered, "Night," as he slipped away toward the kitchen.

She listened for his movement.

There was a shuffling and then the slight creak of the screen door.

He sat down on the steps as Bruno ran around in the back yard.

The dog returned and sat down beside him.

"I think she is going to stay," Grissom whispered as his trembling hand patted the dog. "Do you think she meant it this time?"

Bruno whined as he licked Grissom's hand.

The burns were healing and there probably would not be any scars.

He leaned his head back as he closed his eyes.

"She's better off without me," he choked.

The next day she woke to the smell of coffee.

She glanced across the hall and saw that he was sitting at his desk in the study.

"Would you like breakfast…or perhaps lunch?" he asked.

She glanced at the clock and was surprised she had slept until noon.

She glanced over to the other side of the bed which was untouched.

"Did you sleep?" she asked.

"Some," he admitted. "I'll…fix lunch and then we need to talk. Is that okay?"

She showered and returned to the room since there was a tray waiting for her.

He sat on the end of the bed.

She finished off the grilled cheese sandwich and most of the soup while he picked at his.

"You're not eating," she commented.

"Ecklie wants a decision from me," he said.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"I'm not sure."

"You never liked paperwork," she said as she sipped on the glass of juice.

"I never liked…having separate hours from you," he said.

"Yes, well, I won't be coming back to the lab. Besides, I am pretty sure they wouldn't hire me back since…"

"If you want…then Ecklie has agreed…but not under my supervision," he said.

"I…don't want to go back to the lab but I'm not sure what I want to do. I'd planned to do research, the team in Costa Rica…"

She stopped when his face paled.

"It's what I planned but…it didn't work out," she added.

"You have other options," he said quietly.

"I do?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Yes. Sara, you could teach…assist in research…right here," he said.

"Yes, I guess I could," she admitted.

"You could take your time…there is no rush…unless you want to work. With the sale of the townhouse, you could take a year off…if you want."

"I thought we were going to talk about your choices…not mine?" she asked as she stared at him.

He seemed distant.

"What do you want…me to do?" he asked.

"That's not my decision," she said as she moved the tray away.

He took it, setting it on the floor.

"I want your input," he said.

"You want me to make the decision for you. I won't. You need to decide what you want."

"Sara, my decision impacts you."

"Paperwork or…graveyard?" she asked.

"Sara…tell me, what you want…for us," he pleaded.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong. I…just want you…to help me. If I take Ecklie's job then I'd be home most evenings," he said.

"If you took graveyard…you would also. You'd just be gone at night," she said. "You'd be working with the guys. Catherine would be your boss but then Catherine loves you and you wouldn't have to worry about her throwing you to the wolves."

There was a knock on their door and both looked surprised.

Grissom opened the door and returned with Nick.

"Hey sweetness. I just wanted to come and check on you," he said as he ignored Grissom's offer for coffee.

Grissom picked up the tray and disappeared.

Sara watched as he left.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked as he glanced around the room.

"Arm hurts but…"

Grissom appeared with some pain medicine, sitting it on the night table along with a glass of water.

"It was time," Grissom whispered as he left the room.

"I thought he hired a nurse…like he did for…"

"He did. Mary is nice but I can manage on my own," she insisted.

"Everything okay…with you…being here?" he questioned.

"Yes…why do you ask?"

"Greg said you didn't seem anxious to be going home and you were sick."

"I'm better."

"Sara, you could stay with me for awhile? I mean I have an extra bedroom and…"

"I'm fine…here."

"You'd call if you need anything…right?"

"Yes."

Nick glanced around.

"Nick, I'm not being held here against my will."

"Yeah, well he's refused letting us come over in the past," stated Nick.

"He didn't seem bothered that you came now," she said.

"No, he didn't," admitted Nick.

"Perhaps…it was because of Heather."

"I still can't believe he got involved with her…when he had you," grumbled Nick.

Sara smiled slightly. "Spoken like a true brother."

"And you know you can count on me, right?"

"Yes, Nick I do," she said.

The conversation drifted to the others.

Nick finally said goodbye as he stepped out onto the front porch and spotted Grissom down at the barn.

He charged down there, not liking that he intended to leave Sara by herself.

Grissom turned and almost collided with Nick.

"Sorry, Nick," he said as he wiped at his hands.

"Shouldn't you be in there with Sara?" growled Nick.

"I was…but since you were here…I needed to clean the barn…remove the crime scene tape…so Sara wouldn't be reminded…" he stopped, still obsessed with the dirt on his hands.

"She deserves to be treated…just as well as you treated…Heather," spat Nick.

Nick did not wait for a reply but got into his car and drove away.

Grissom peaked into the house and saw that she was asleep.

Hurriedly he went back to the barn intent to finish the job.

Note from author:

I seemed to be plagued by problems...oh well, as I understand it fanfiction was having some of its own problems on Saturday. I'm still thinking it is forty chapters...more or less. I am having a bit of a problem with proofreading it on another computer...ugh.

Take care!


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

Grissom grabbed the last of the crime tape and threw it into the garbage bag.

He spent most of the time getting rid of the blood soaked dirt and straw.

He wiped at his hands, not liking the blood on them even though he wore gloves.

Quickly he pulled them off, throwing them into the trash bag as he stepped away from the crime scene, his stomach in spasms as he turned his back, taking in gulps of air.

_Get a hold of yourself, Grissom…_

_Heather died…not Sara…_

_But what if her hand had slipped through mine…_

_What if I dropped her and she fell?_

_This could be her blood…_

_Our unborn could have died…_

_You don't know that it didn't…_

He turned around to see if he'd missed anything.

The kitten scurried toward him but then ran in the other direction.

_Don't understand where David is…_

He wiped his forehead as he hurried back to the house, dumping the rest of the debris in garbage cans.

He stepped into the house as he tried to dust off his pants, still swiping his hands on his clothes.

He stopped in the doorway on his way to the bathroom.

"You disappeared," she commented and he jumped at the accusation.

"I had some things to do. I thought it was best to get them done while someone was here with you."

"He said they asked to come before," she threw accusingly.

"Yes, they did but I wouldn't let them," he admitted, guilt written on his face.

"Why?"

He hung his head.

When there was no reply, she repeated, "Why?" more forcibly.

"I was ashamed of what I did with Heather...and I was afraid you would leave with them," he said simply.

"And now?"

"You…you said you were going to stay," he stammered.

"Yes, I did. Didn't I?" she replied softly.

His eyes widened at that thought that she might have changed her mind. He feared one of the guys would convince her she was better off, leaving him.

"You…you don't want to stay?" he managed to get out.

"Is there a reason why I should leave?" she asked.

_You'd probably be happier if you left…_

_I've done nothing but make a mess out of our marriage…your life…_

He glanced down at his hands as if staring at something on them.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing…I need to clean up," he murmured as he headed to the bathroom.

He washed his hands repeatedly and then splashed water on his face.

It had been hard removing all evidence of what happened in the barn while he feared that she would leave with Nick.

He couldn't blame her nor would he stand in her way if she decided to leave him.

It took every bit of strength in him to keep his back to Nick as he heard the opening of the screen door, not wanting to actually see her leave this time.

_She said she's going to stay…_

_I trust her…_

Greg called later followed by Brass.

Each time, he slipped away giving her privacy.

He brought the dinner tray, just as she woke from a nap.

Her medicine was sitting on the tray as well.

"Langston is going to come this evening," she stated.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm good. I'm sure he'll lift the bed rest moratorium…"

"I'm just following…his instructions…at least the ones he gave…Mary," he said.

"I'm feeling better…really. Greg said you are supposed to report to work at the end of the week," she said.

"I am…if I am going to return," he replied.

"I didn't know that you had considered other things…besides returning to the lab."

"I haven't…maybe teaching…or research."

"Ecklie has been hounding Catherine for an answer."

"I know. I need to give Catherine…and Ecklie my decision."

"You're still not sure about what you want to do?"

"I thought…."

His phone rang.

"Grissom."

He sighed. "Conrad…I haven't…oh. I'm not sure. I'm with Sara and…"

He glanced at her. "I see…yes. She didn't mention the case but if she's fine with it then…yes, I'll come in."

He cleared his throat, "Ecklie said you told Greg that I would help them with a case."

"Sorry, I was about to mention it…but then Ecklie hadn't called so I figured they decided to handle it on their own."

He nodded as he fidgeted.

"It's a bug case," she threw out trying to make it sound enticing.

"Ecklie told me," he replied.

"Gil, if you don't…"

"Greg is on his way," stated Grissom. "He agreed to keep you company while I work the case."

"You're the best," she said.

"I don't have to go," he said softly.

"But you will," she said and he looked hurt. "I want you to go," she added.

He stood shifting from one foot to the other nervously.

"Gil, the team has been short handed ever since I…sort of walked out on them. I never thought I was much help anyway. By going, you're helping friends."

"It's why I accepted…but…"

"Greg is coming," she interrupted. "I'll be fine. It will be nice spending time with Greg."

Everything seemed to be planned.

He would spend the next eight hours examining bugs and a decomposing body while Greg spent time with Sara.

"I should change and get ready. Don't forget your medicine," he called as he headed upstairs.

He returned later just as Greg arrived.

The young man did not appear happy to see him as he let him inside.

"Langston said he would come tomorrow. Catherine had to call him in. I can stay as long as Sara needs me."

"Thanks Greg."

"Anything…for Sara."

Grissom nodded as he stepped past the man and left.

Sara smiled when Greg appeared in the doorway.

"So, what kind of fun do we get to…" Greg was interrupted by Sara.

"Did he leave?" she asked.

"Yes."

She frowned, hoping he could come back so she could wish him well.

"Did he seem…alright?" she asked.

"He acted…like Grissom," replied Greg.

"I'm not sure he wanted to work the case," admitted Sara.

"Grissom? He thrived on bug cases. Besides, it gets rid of him…"

"I don't want to get rid of Gil," she corrected.

"Sorry. Bad choice of words. I just thought you would appreciate some breathing room. He's been with you for weeks now."

"Yes, he has," she said softly as she glanced at the clock, missing him already.

Grissom did not say anything as Conrad handed him his I.D.

"Not that you need it but just in case," he said. "Gil, I appreciate you doing this. Nick and Langston are already on the scene."

Conrad handed him a copy of the report.

It had been a missing person case which the family had filed when there was no word from their daughter for several weeks.

The husband was the prime suspect but there had been no proof of foul play.

Now there was a body to study and determine the cause of death.

Already the family was circling like vultures wanting answers that would take some time to give.

The husband had been spotted in the lobby which made Jim's life easier if there was any shred of evidence still left on the body to point to the husband.

Langston smiled when he saw Grissom arrive.

Brass tapped Nick on the shoulder.

"Who is with Sara?" griped Nick as Grissom took over.

Grissom glanced briefly at Nick but then focused his attention on the body.

"Greg…is with her," he replied.

"Oh," replied Nick as he stepped out of the way.

"Well since you're here, I'm going to go help Catherine with that double homicide," stated Nick.

He waited for Grissom's approval but Grissom continued to analyze the specimens already collected.

"Griss? Griss!" yelled Nick.

"Nicky, you don't need my approval. I'm…not your boss anymore."

Nick frowned and then left.

Grissom glanced at Langston when he stepped closer.

"Are there any more cases tonight?" asked Grissom.

"It's seems like a merry-go-round," stated Langston.

"You go…I can handle this," directed Grissom.

Langston hesitated. "You sure?"

"Work the next case…but you might want to run that by Catherine…she's in charge."

Hours later he returned to the lab to begin processing the evidence and halted when he realized he did not have an office any longer.

He stared at the room, noticing the changes that had been made.

Catherine came down the hall.

"You're finally back. Oh hey, I guess you need a place to work. You want to use my office?"

"No…just an empty room will work," he said.

"I'll take you to my hide out. Let's grab some coffee on the way. Have you eaten anything?"

He glanced at his watch and sighed.

It had been over five hours since he'd left the house.

"I'll get something later," he said but accepted the coffee as he set the box of evidence down on the empty desk in the room.

"Let me know it you need anything. I have your old extension…the guys got the office."

He nodded as he stared at the contents.

"Hey Gil, thanks for doing this."

He took a deep breath and then began to work.

His cup was filled and emptied several times as he made trips back and forth to the break room.

By the time he finished, shift was already starting again.

He'd just finished a consultation with Doc when Catherine stepped in.

Grissom handed Catherine the report of his findings. "The husband has a tight alibi at the time of death. Besides, there was no foul play."

"So, what's the verdict?" asked Catherine.

"Suicide," stated Doc.

"Suicide? Are you sure? The family was pretty adamant that the husband was behind the disappearance," stated Catherine.

"The evidence says different," stated Doc.

Grissom swiped at his forehead, glad to be done with the case.

"Go home before we ask you to work another shift," she teased.

Doc covered the body. "Just like old times, isn't it?"

Grissom stared at the body.

"Gil?" asked Catherine.

"Hmmm?"

"Go home and get some rest."

He nodded as he exited the room.

"He was quiet," stated Doc.

"You noticed that too?" asked Catherine.

"It was like him…but then it wasn't," commented Doc. "How is Sara?"

"She's fine."

"You couldn't prove it by the likes of him."

He wasn't prepared to be stopped by the husband who followed him to his vehicle.

"Please…I know you were working on my wife's case," Tom pleaded.

"Mr. Cramer, if you'll talk with detective Brass then…"

"But you…you looked at the evidence. You know how she died," he insisted.

"Your wife committed suicide. I'm sorry," stated Grissom.

Tom Cramer stepped back. "I tried Mr. Grissom, I really tried to get her the help she needed but she refused…said she just needed space…time alone so I gave it to her."

"No one blames you," stated Grissom.

"Her family does! I blame myself. What kind of husband lets his wife run off when she's clearly depressed…not herself? I should have paid more attention but I was too wrapped up in my work to see that she needed help…she needed me."

Grissom sucked in air, his words too painful to hear.

Doc stepped out. "Mr. Cramer, I need to talk with you about the release of your wife's body."

Grissom took the opportunity to slip away.

He wiped his face with his hand, relieved to be leaving.

He had looked at the body in the morgue and had seen Sara.

He was relieved to see Greg's car still there when he arrived.

He'd showered and changed clothes at the lab not wishing to bring his job home.

Before it never occurred to him to do that unless the odor or stench was bad but now he worried about how Sara would react and so he'd made sure to take precautions before going home.

He heard laughter coming from the kitchen as he opened the front screen door, stepping into the living room.

Bruno met him at the door, wagging his tail.

He leaned in the doorway to the kitchen.

Greg frowned at him. "He's back. I guess I have to go. Remember we have a date coming up," teased Greg.

"I'll remind you," she vowed as he picked up his jacket.

Greg glanced at Grissom briefly before stepping out into the hallway, heading toward the front door.

"Greg, thank you," called Grissom but there was no reply as the young man shut the front door.

Sara caught the lack of response by Greg.

"You look exhausted," commented Sara.

"I think I go slower now…old age I suppose," he admitted.

"Greg and I had pizza but I think there is some in the fridge," she offered but he waved his hand.

"Langston came by. No more bed rest," she announced.

"Any other restrictions?" he asked.

She held up her arm. "Just this….but I'm used to this."

Her phone rang and she glanced up to see that he was gone.

She listened as he walked up the flight of stairs.

An hour passed and the house was quiet.

Sara slowly made her way to the top of the stairs.

She was surprised to find him in David's room.

His breathing indicated he was asleep although it was restless as he struggled to get comfortable.

She didn't know why she needed to be near him as she inched her way into the bed.

It was difficult with the broken arm.

She had just gotten settled when he rolled over.

She cried out from the pain.

He jerked awake. "Sara? Geez Sara, I didn't…"

She started to get up but he blocked her.

"Are you alright?" he grieved.

"I'm fine."

He scrambled out of the bed as he moved around to her side, needing to examine the arm for himself.

"Gil, it's fine," she pressed.

He got out of bed only to walk around the bed to enter it on the other side.

Gently he placed the extra pillow underneath her arm in order to cushion it.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

"Yes."

He stepped back away from the bed, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said once more.

"I didn't mean to wake you. It's just that you didn't come back into the room and…so I came up here."

He nodded.

"Was everything okay at work? I mean you never mentioned…"

"It was fine," he said quietly.

"You're not very convincing."

Neither said another word as she extended her hand to him.

He stretched out beside her.

She leaned back so that they were touching.

Finally he whispered, "I come here because I miss him."

"Me too," she sniffled.

He tightened his hold around her waist.

Note from author:

Well, no problems tonight... I need to finish this story up by Sunday since I will be leaving for a few days so I may be posting more than once. Try to review as quickly as possible so we can move on.

Thanks and take care.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three:**

He opened his eyes when his hand felt cool sheets.

Quickly he went downstairs, checking each room but finding it empty.

He hurried out onto the front porch and was relieved to see her sitting in the porch swing.

"I was hoping you would sleep awhile," she said.

She had already showered and was fully dressed.

He glanced at his watch.

"Come and sit with me," she offered.

He sat down in the swing as her hand slipped into his.

Both were silent, content to be with one another as Bruno sat nearby.

"I've already eaten," she finally remarked. "I could fix you something," she offered.

"That's not necessary," he said as he started to get up but she tugged gently on his hand.

"Is everything alright at the lab?" she asked.

"Yes, Catherine has done a great job," he said.

By his behavior, she thought the lab might be in trouble.

"Go shower and dress," she said as she stood.

She had breakfast waiting for him when he stepped out of the shower.

He managed to eat part of it as she watched him intently.

He helped with dishes, despite her protest.

He glanced at his list of things to repair around the house.

"Take a walk?" she asked.

She took his hand leading him away from the list.

He grabbed their jackets as they started out the door.

He thought she was heading to the creek but she turned toward the barn when the kitten appeared near the fence.

He was reluctant to follow. "Let's talk a walk down by the creek," he offered.

"Just as soon as I pet the kitten. He's getting big," she commented as she stooped down and picked up the yellow striped cat.

Her eyes caught sight of the fresh straw on the ground.

There was no evidence of horror that had occurred there.

She took a deep breath and walked into the barn.

She smiled sadly at the tire swing.

"David loved this old thing," she said.

"Yes…he did."

She turned and noticed he was still standing outside.

His eyes drifted to the loft but he jerked them back when he realized she was watching him.

Sara set the kitten on the ground and returned to Grissom's side.

Both were silent as they made their way to the creek.

It was a pretty fall day with a slight breeze.

It seemed odd that they would be there alone, never coming to the creek bank unless David was with them.

Sara watched as the large crayfish swam around.

"It was funny that he let Mr. Claw go…after rescuing me," she said.

"David had a good heart. He would never have hurt anything," Grissom replied.

"Sometimes, we hurt others…even when we don't mean to," she said softly.

He nodded in agreement.

"Have you made up your mind...for Ecklie?" she asked.

"I thought about checking at the University…for a teaching position," he said.

"You? You don't want to go back to the lab?"

"You want me to go back?" he asked suddenly.

She frowned. "Stop it! I will not be the reason why you left the lab!"

"You're not," he protested but then added, "You were…the first time but…Sara, you're the only thing that matters to me."

"Gil, whether you leave or stay at the lab…it must be your decision."

"Sara…"

"The job was not our problem! It was…"

"Heather," he finished.

"It was a lack of communication," she clarified. "We didn't let each other know how things affected us…like right now, there's something bothering and you won't tell me."

"There's not," he insisted.

"Look, I know things are rough at the lab right now because they are short. I am quite capable of staying by myself. You don't have to babysit me," she spat.

"I'm not," he said quickly. "Sara…"

"Then you'll help them out?" she asked.

"Would you prefer that I work…than be here with you?" he asked sadly.

"I'd prefer you were at the lab than with me," she said, hoping to relieve the guilt she thought he felt for not being at the lab and helping the others.

"Okay," he said sadly.

She had hoped to bring him to the creek to tell him about the pregnancy but she changed her mind, seeing that he was too engrossed with other problems.

She felt he would be happy about the news but then she wasn't sure.

It was obvious he was worried about something.

_Was it money?_

_The townhouse sold…_

_Heather was out of their lives…_

_It has to be the lab…_

_He's worried about his life's work…_

He trudged back to the house, not liking that he would be returning to the lab.

_She'll feel better if the team has help…_

_I can do this…_

_It's just work…_

_It's just…._

_Death and more bodies…_

He offered and then begged to let him have Mary return but Sara would not hear of it.

He dragged into the lab just before shift, not liking the knowledge that Sara was alone.

"Hey," smiled Catherine.

He couldn't return the smile as he looked about, feeling a bit anxious.

"Glad you offered to help out tonight," she said as she sifted through the assignment slips.

Nick came out of the locker room and scowled when he saw Grissom.

Catherine handed Nick the assignments. "Okay, cowboy, make me proud," smiled Catherine.

"You're not working?" asked Grissom worriedly.

"Stupid meeting," she said. "I made Nick in charge before I knew you were going to help out," she explained.

"That's alright," stated Grissom.

Nick glanced at the assignments and then tossed one to Grissom. "This is right up your alley, boss man."

Grissom took the assignment without looking.

He'd made it half way to his old office when he realized once more, he had no place to work.

"I've got room," offered Langston. "Riley and I used to share a space."

Grissom smiled slightly but he paled when he looked at the assignment.

He swallowed.

"Gil, are you alright?" asked Ray.

"Yes," he said gruffly as he left.

He took a deep breath before entering the crime scene.

A man sat on the couch surrounded by police.

It was obvious he was the prime suspect for his wife's disappearance.

Grissom tried to tune out the interrogation but he turned just as he put on his latex gloves.

The man looked at Grissom. "Why isn't someone looking for my wife…outside this damn house?"

Grissom turned away.

He could understand the man's frustration.

Time was of the essence.

The phone rang and the man jumped to answer it but the police stopped him.

"You're just going to let it ring?" he asked wildly. "It could be her…it could be someone who has taken her?"

"Mr…" Grissom stopped, not remembering the name of the case.

"Clark," he said.

"You can answer it now….they needed to be ready to trace it," explained Grissom.

He answered but then cursed when it was a stupid poll.

The man slammed the phone down.

Grissom returned to processing the house.

Hours ticked by and then a call came in.

Grissom glanced at his watch, knowing that the case would take more than just one shift.

He cursed inwardly, wanting and needing to be with Sara.

As the case slowly progressed, he checked in on her, grateful to hear her voice.

"I'm sorry, the case is going to go over," he grieved.

"That's fine," she said.

He was called back and had to hang up.

Hours passed in which phone contact was made with the kidnappers but then things began to spiral out of control as they refused to let them have any proof that the wife was still alive.

A sinking feeling in Grissom's stomach erupted when the money was dropped and then arrests made.

Hours ticked by as the assailants refused to give out any information about the woman, trying to hold out for a deal.

In the end, her body was located not far from where she had originally been abducted in the parking lot of a grocery store.

He stood there in the morgue with Doc as he rattled off the cause of death.

"Blunt force trauma. She most likely died instantly," he said.

"Any signs of sexual trauma?" asked Grissom.

"No," replied.

"Sexual trauma," agonized Grissom.

Doc glanced at Grissom, not sure why he was bringing it up again.

"There was none, Gil," he emphasized as he stared at the body, not sure if Grissom had spotted something he'd missed.

Grissom stepped away from the body.

"Are you alright?" asked Doc.

"I never asked…I never asked if there was any sexual trauma…when Sara…" he took a deep breath.

"No, Gil. There wasn't," whispered Doc.

"Why didn't I…I didn't think. He could have…" he stopped covering his hand with his mouth as if he's said too much already.

"You were just so relieved to get her back…it's understandable. Ray and I discussed Sara's case at length," Doc consoled.

"I uhm have to get the husband…so he can make a positive I.D.," said Grissom numbly.

"Hey Gil? You okay?"

Grissom did not reply as he took off to the waiting area.

Mr. Clark sat there, holding a photo in his hand.

"They told me to bring a photo. Why would they need a photo?" he tearfully asked.

"To help identify the body…but it won't be necessary," Grissom said quietly.

"Is she here?" he asked.

"Yes. I'll need you to come with me. We'll need someone to identify the body."

He nodded as he followed Grissom.

Doc was waiting for them.

Grissom nodded at Doc and he removed the sheet.

The man burst into tears. "That's her. What did they do to her?" he asked as he reached out as if he were going to touch her body but halted.

"Mr. Clark, your wife died of a head injury," whispered Doc.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"No."

"Did they…did they rape her?" he asked.

"No," answered Doc.

"She's all I had. We…were waiting to have kids. We thought we had plenty of time. You know?" he asked as he stared at the body now covered with the sheet once more.

The man turned and walked out.

Brass stepped into the room.

"I'm waiting for you," stated Brass, irritated that Grissom was putting him behind schedule.

Grissom walked past him without a word.

His gut twisted over and over as he listened to the details of the kidnapping from the assailants.

"Why her?" asked Grissom during the interrogation.

"Easy prey….she was looking down, fumbling to get her keys out of her purse. The vehicle told us she had money…as well as the rock on her hand."

"Why did you kill her? She was no threat," said Grissom.

"She could finger us. She saw our faces," explained the man.

Grissom wanted to slug the man but instead, he left the interrogation room.

Brass eyed him as he passed.

He finished his report setting it on Nick's desk.

News of the outcome of the abduction had already filtered through the lab.

Grissom went to the break room intending to get a cup of coffee but halted when he saw Greg and Nick huddled together.

Langston appeared. "Hard shift?" he asked Grissom.

Grissom nodded.

Langston poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Grissom.

"Finished the report?" questioned Nick.

"Yes," replied Grissom.

Nick tossed him another assignment but Langston intercepted it.

"I can work this," offered Langston.

"No can do Ray. I'm in charge and…"

"Gil, you should be home," stated Catherine as she appeared out of nowhere.

Grissom reached for the assignment but Catherine took it, glancing at it.

"You're on overtime," she said softly. "Go home."

He didn't argue as he left.

Catherine turned to yell at Nick but he was already gone.

"Catherine, thank you for letting Grissom go home," stated Langston.

"I got a call from Doc. He's concerned about Griss," replied Catherine.

"He should…we should be," corrected Langston.

Sara was sitting on the porch with Bruno when he arrived.

He looked exhausted as he climbed the stairs.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"Long," he replied.

"What…kind of case?" she asked.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

"Yes. I ate a sandwich."

He nodded as he stepped inside, wanting to be with her but needing to distance himself from the questioning.

She quickly followed him as he fumbled through the fridge for the juice.

"I can fix you something," she offered.

"No need. I just wanted a drink," he explained.

"Did you eat?" she asked.

He couldn't remember when he'd eaten last, too tired to think anymore.

"Were you okay?" he asked.

"Mary stopped in…imagine that," she huffed.

"She likes you," he said, relieved that Mary had gotten his messages.

Her phone rang and he used the distraction to head to the bathroom for a shower.

"Hey," smiled Brass.

"Hey Jim."

"So how was it without him?" he asked.

"I slept most of the time," she admitted. "Jim…did something happen at work? Gil is…sort of quiet."

"No…I guess he's tired. He's not used to a double after being the man of leisure."

"What kind of case did he work on?" she asked.

"Not sure. I wasn't around much," he lied.

He distracted her with other talk while Grissom disappeared into another part of the house.

She finished the conversation when she heard footsteps leading away from the bedroom.

"Turning in?" she asked.

He wanted nothing more than to sleep but he couldn't get the sight of Mr. Clark's face out of his mind when he had to identify his wife's body.

_That could have been me…_

_He lost the love of his life…_

_I almost lost Sara three times…_

Her phone rang again.

It was Greg.

She stepped into the kitchen to let Bruno out and returned to find he had slipped away.

"You left a message?" asked Greg.

"Yes. Greg, I need a favor," she said as she tried to locate Grissom once more.

"Name it."

"I need a lift to an appointment," she said. "Ray hasn't given me clearance to drive yet so…I need a ride."

"Going somewhere in particular?"

"Doctor appointment," she whispered.

"And Grissom won't take you?"

"I wasn't counting on him…" she was interrupted by the sound of the screen door shutting.

"Sara?"

"Sorry Greg. Could you come?" she asked, looking out of the window to see if she could spot Grissom.

"Sure as long as we do dinner," he replied.

She frowned when she spotted him working on the gate to the fence.

"I was going to show you that," she said as she watched him work.

"Bruno is going to get out if it doesn't lock securely."

"Where would he go?" she quipped. "It's not an emergency. You should try to sleep. Shift will be starting in a few hours."

"I just…wanted to fix this," he said softly.

"Unwind, maybe?"

"No…I just don't want to get behind in…I have a long list of repairs," he lied.

An hour later he'd finished the repair to the gate.

He stepped into the house and saw that she was rearranging things in the kitchen.

Quickly he took over.

"I can do this," she insisted.

"You don't like the way…tell me what you want to move?" he offered.

She glared at him. "I can do this," she repeated.

"Sara, I'm here. What else…"

"Would you stop!" she spat.

The moment the words left her mouth, she regretted it.

He flew out of the kitchen.

"Great, Sara," she muttered. "He was only trying to help."

He slumped down on the couch, not sure what to make of her outburst.

He was only trying to help.

_She doesn't like it here…._

_I should have rearranged everything…not just the bedroom…_

_She probably can't stand the place because Heather had been here…_

She turned on the stereo letting the soft music float through the air as she rearranged one of the shelves, intending to go and apologize but felt she needed to let him calm down from her outburst.

Later, she was surprised to find him passed out on the couch, from exhaustion.

There was a slight snore as he gripped a pillow against his chest.

Gently she covered him as she got ready for the appointment.

Within another hour, Greg arrived.

She stepped out onto the front porch but turned to go back in remembering she needed to leave a note.

"Hey, it's a long way out here. I have to go to the bathroom," whined Greg.

"Be quiet. I don't want Gil to catch us leaving," she warned.

"Oh…not a problem."

"Greg, slip this note on the coffee table beside the couch."

"Sure," he said as he stepped into the house.

Later, he got into the car and remembered he'd forgotten to leave the note.

_It won't matter…_

Note from author:

Right….it won't matter…. That's like me saying "it's just a little angst." LOL

Take care!


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four:**

Grissom didn't know what to think when he woke and found that she was missing.

He frantically checked the house over and over but there was no sign of her.

He ran to the creek, rechecking the barn several times before returning to the house, out of breath and out of his mind with worry.

_She didn't leave…_

_She didn't take anything…_

_She took very little last time…_

_How did she leave?_

He opened his phone and called Brass.

"Jim, it's Sara. She's gone," stated Grissom.

"What do you mean she's gone?" he griped.

"She was gone when I woke. Do you know where she is?" he frantically asked.

"No."

_What the hell did you do Grissom?_

Grissom's pulse began to race as he glanced at the clock.

Brass relaxed when he caught sight of Sara with Greg.

"Jim…"

"If she wanted you to know where she was going she would have told you," he said as he waved at them.

"Yes…but…."

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see if she's coming back," stated Brass as he hung up, not letting Grissom respond.

"Hey kiddo. What brings you to the lab?" he asked.

"Greg. I need to go home but he insists on dinner so we thought maybe you would like to come. Nick is meeting us at Frank's."

"Franks huh? What's one more heart attack dinner," he teased.

When they arrived at Franks, Nick already had a table for them.

His phone went off but he ignored it.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asked Brass.

He leaned in and whispered to Brass. "It's Grissom."

"He's looking for her…she didn't tell him about her little excursion," whispered Brass.

"Good for her," replied Nick.

"Good for who?" asked Sara as she sat down.

"Good to see you out again," grinned Nick.

"Yeah, well. I had a doctor appointment that I couldn't cancel and…"

"Grissom wouldn't take you?" griped Nick.

Sara looked shocked that Nick would even think that lowly of her husband.

"Yes, Nick, he would but he worked a double and was exhausted so…"

"If my wife needed to go to the doctor, I would have taken her…even if I worked a triple," stated Nick.

"He didn't know about the appointment. I didn't tell him."

She sipped on her tea.

Conversation began about the menu choices.

Their orders were taken as small talk began.

Sara glanced at her watch.

"Got some place else to be?" asked Brass.

"I snuck out while Grissom was asleep on the couch," she said. "I'm surprised he hasn't called me by now. "

Greg took a gulp of his water.

"He'll be fine," said Greg.

"You had a doctor appointment. Is there something wrong?" asked Nick.

Sara glanced at Greg whose cheeks were turning red.

She returned his grin. "Greg is still blushing from being around pregnant women…it seems when he agreed to take me he didn't bother to ask what kind of appointment."

"Oh…that kind. Good thing you asked him and not me. I get nervous around pregnant women," joked Nick.

"Yeah, like you're waiting for them to accuse you of being the father," teased Greg.

Nick frowned. "I practice safe sex, I have you know."

Brass chuckled as he eyed Sara.

"So it was just…an annual?" asked Brass.

Sara didn't reply as she took another sip of her tea.

"If the waitress returns, could you tell her I need a refill?" stated Sara as she headed toward the bathroom.

Greg's phone went off.

He glanced down at it.

"It's Grissom," he announced.

"He's probably searching for Sara," said Nick. "If she had wanted him to know then…"

"She did but I sort of forgot to leave the note," admitted Greg.

Greg started to answer his cell but it stopped.

Sara returned, holding her cell.

Greg swallowed, fearful he was about to get a tongue lashing.

"My cell is dead again. I just charged it the other day. I need to let Grissom drop it off to have it serviced," she whined.

The food arrived as Greg and Nick glanced at one another.

"What?" asked Sara.

"Nothing. We better eat cause shift is going to be starting soon," stated Nick.

Brass's phone went off and he glanced at it.

_Grissom_

He started to answer it but then changed his mind.

_I'll call him back in awhile…_

Grissom forced himself to take deep cleansing breaths as he drove like a mad man toward the lab.

It had been hours since he'd last seen her.

_Christ, I just fell asleep for an hour and she disappears…_

_Where could she be?_

_Does she hate me that much to not answer her phone?_

_The guys don't answer their phone…_

_Brass wasn't even worried…_

He slammed on his brakes as he spotted the team vehicles sitting at Franks.

He jumped out of his vehicle and rushed inside but halted when he saw them at a table.

Laughter erupted from one of Greg's jokes.

Sara turned and saw him.

His face was ashen.

"Hey, I got out of my doctor appointment early and so we decided to grab a bite to eat," she offered as he looked confused.

"You did get the note? I told Greg to leave it…"

Grissom glanced at Greg and then the other guys.

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Did you sleep? Of course not," she huffed. "Gil, your list of things can wait. I don't know what you're trying to prove but…Gil, is anything wrong?"

"No. I…I thought I…since you weren't there…" he cleared his throat, feeling rather sick to his stomach and not sure what to make of it. "Since you weren't home, I thought…I would…"

His mouth felt dry, his thoughts jumbled.

"Go into the lab early?" she finished for him, not liking the way he looked.

"Yes," he replied.

He turned to leave but then she stood.

The others did also.

"Hey, have you eaten?" she asked as she went to him.

"Eaten?"

"Gil, are you alright?" she asked softly for his ears only.

"Yes," he said as he cleared his throat. "You have a ride home?"

She glanced at Greg. "Yes, but…"

"The doctor appointment. Did it go okay?" It was obvious he was hurt that she'd gone without him.

"Yes."

He felt foolish and awkward as he stood there interrupting their meal.

He swallowed hard as he whispered, "Night."

He took a look at the others, pain riddled on his face.

The guys were deafly quiet as they watched Grissom exit the restaurant.

Sara followed after him.

"Man, he didn't look good," whispered Nick.

"I guess I should have told him as soon as I saw her but…" Brass didn't finish.

"I was going to leave the note," whined Greg. "Why didn't he rat me out?"

"He probably didn't want Sara to be angry with…us," sighed Brass.

Sara got detained at the door by one of the techs on another shift.

By the time she stepped out, Grissom was already driving away.

She sighed as she started to step back inside.

She halted just as she heard the screeching of tires and then the loud crash.

The team rushed out of the diner.

"What happened?" yelled Nick.

"Some guy just got hit…pulled out in front of another vehicle," called out an officer as he headed toward the accident scene.

"That's Gil's car," panicked Sara.

The guys rushed to the vehicle.

Brass pulled Sara back.

"Grissom!" yelled Nick as he tried to assess the man's injuries.

Nick glanced at Greg. "He's unconscious…make sure an ambulance has been called."

"Nick!" called Sara.

"He's okay, Sara. Air bags went off…probably saved his life," he said. "We'll be able to move him as soon as the ambulance arrives."

Nick and Greg were forced to move away as the officers on the scene cleared the area for the E.M.T.s to take over.

Within minutes, Grissom was on a stretcher and Sara was relieved to see that he was talking to one of the men.

Grissom's hand shoved the oxygen mask away as he tried to get up but the attendants refused to let him move.

"I'm alright," he assured them.

"Sir, you're going in. You were unconscious. Do you remember what happened?"

The last thing he remembered was starting the vehicle.

"Sir, did you know you pulled out in front of another vehicle?"

"No…I must not have seen it," replied Grissom.

"Did you pass out?"

He didn't remember and it bothered him.

He struggled again, trying to convince them to let him up but they refused.

"Is there anyone we should call?" asked the attendant.

"No!" he said quickly. He didn't want to concern Sara.

"Sir, there's a woman over here. She's says she's your wife."

"I'm not going in. I have the right to refuse medical attention," he said as he tossed off the blood pressure cup, and struggled to his feet.

"I have a few bruises…from the air bag…nothing more," he said as he struggled to catch his breath.

"You could have some cracked ribs from those air bags," warned the medic.

Brass convinced the officer to let them through and Sara rushed to his side.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Grissom said.

"Your vehicle is totaled," she spat.

"Yes, it would appear so," he admitted. "It seems the dummy passed the crash test," replied Grissom trying to make light of the situation.

Greg tried to hide a smirk.

The tension seemed to ease a bit as Grissom stood there, directing the officer where to have the vehicle towed.

He pulled out his license along with his insurance card.

"This is going to cost you," muttered Brass as he stared at the vehicle.

"Imagine the paperwork if it had been the Denali," Grissom replied.

Brass actually chuckled.

"Yyyou think this is fffunny?" asked Sara as she glared at Grissom.

"No…but it's over," he said quietly, not liking that the incident had upset her.

"Gil, wwwhy didn't you see the truck?" she asked.

"I didn't look?" he responded.

She shook her head as if she didn't believe him.

"I've had enough," she grumbled.

His face paled as he took a step toward her. "I'll call the insurance…this will be cleared in a matter of days. I'll get a rental until…"

"Stop!" she yelled.

The guys looked shocked at her reaction.

"I mean it. I've had enough," she warned under her breath.

Grissom's face drained. "You don't mean that…just because…"

Brass stepped in, intending to help Grissom. "Look Gil, maybe…"

"Stay out of this! All of you…just want to convince her…to leave again."

"Leave?" Sara asked incredulously. "Iiiiss that it?"

Nick didn't like the way either of them looked.

Nick took Sara by the arm. "Sara…"

Grissom slapped Nick's hand away.

It angered Nick. "Griss…cool off."

"You promised," whispered Grissom as he stepped away from Sara.

Her eyes widened in shock when she realized he'd misunderstood what she meant.

_I didn't mean I'd had enough of you!_

_I know something is wrong and I want to know what it is_

She started toward him but halted when Grissom's knees buckled sending him to the hard pavement.

"Grissom!"

Medics rushed over as Sara cradled his head in her lap.

"Gil!"

The medic cursed as he checked for a pulse, yelling for his partner.

"What's wrong? He was talking and then just collapsed," grieved Sara.

"His pulse is tacky," he advised. "Miss…I'd feel better if we had him in the hospital."

She nodded, fearful of his lack of response to the medic.

He woke in the ambulance, not sure how he'd gotten there.

"Mr. Grissom, can you hear me?" asked the medic.

Grissom nodded.

"We'll be at Desert Palm in just a few minutes," he advised.

He nodded as he closed his eyes once more, too tired, to deal with anything further.

Sara leaned forward when Grissom seemed to lose consciousness again.

"I just gave him something to help him relax. He's doing much better. It was probably a panic attack."

Her hand gripped his, bringing it to her cheek as she felt its warmth.

"It won't be long," the medic assured her.

He woke in the emergency room the moment the on call physician began to examine him.

There was a barrage of questions once more as he tried to focus on his surroundings.

The physician waited a moment and then asked, "Mr. Grissom, you had a panic attack after your car accident. Do you remember?"

He nodded.

"Your blood pressure has me a bit concerned. Have you been feeling ill?"

Grissom almost laughed.

"I spoke briefly with your wife. She's concerned it may be heart related. Your father died of a heart attack. Is that right?"

"My wife?"

"Yes….Sara Grissom."

"She's here?"

"She's in the waiting room."

He closed his eyes, angry that he'd been brought in.

_She only stayed because of this…_

"Would you like for me to get her?"

"No….you can tell her she can leave…me."

Note from author:

Yeah….what a way to end the chapter…

Take care!


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five:**

Sara rose quickly when the physician appeared.

"Sara Grissom?" Dr. Roberts asked.

"Yes. Hhhow is my husband?" she asked.

The physician glanced around at the other faces that were eager to hear any news.

"Mrs. Grissom, your husband has asked that you leave."

"What?" whispered Sara.

"He became very agitated when I mentioned your name. "He said you could leave…him."

Sara slumped back down into the chair.

Brass stepped forward. "Gil has a hard head…but the wreck must have cracked it. I'm sure he wants to see Sara. He just thinks she's still mad at him for totaling the car."

Dr. Roberts glanced down at Sara. "In the morning. I'd like for him to get some rest and then…"

"I can't see him?" she asked mournfully.

"I'm afraid I can't permit that," Dr. Roberts stated. "Like I said he became quite agitated when I mentioned your name."

"I'm not leaving while he's here," she insisted.

"Mrs. Grissom, he was adamant. He said you could leave…him. He repeated it several times. I've given him something to help him sleep."

Sara gulped. "This is a bbig mmisunderstanding. I said something and…" She took another gulp of air.

Brass intervened. "Look, just ask Grissom and…"

"I'm not going to risk upsetting him again."

Sara look devastated at the news.

"In the morning when Mr. Grissom wakes if he says wants to see her then…"

"She's his wife," griped Nick.

"He's my patient," huffed the physician. "Mr. Grissom has not been well for some time, has he?"

Once the question was put to her, she felt her head nodding in admission.

He'd not been sleeping well, barely touching his food and he seemed stressed most of the time.

"I think it's best if we let him get some rest."

Sara nodded slowly.

"I'll wait," she said softly.

The physician disappeared.

"We don't have to take no for an answer," stated Nick. "We can…"

Sara shook her head. "He's right. Gil…hasn't been well. I just thought…we've been trying to deal with the death of David and I just thought…"

Brass sat down beside her. "So if he wants rest then we'll give it to him."

"He seemed odd when he came into Frank's," whispered Sara.

Nick and Greg hung their heads.

Catherine rushed into the waiting room. "How is he?"

The others were quiet.

"Jim, is Gil going to…"

"He's resting…minor injuries from the wreck…but they want to keep him for observation."

Catherine sighed. "Well, that's a relief. By the looks on your faces, you would think…"

"He said…I could leave…him," wept Sara.

"Grissom is exhausted. He doesn't know what he is saying," began Brass.

"He's been having trouble sleeping," added Sara.

Catherine glared at Nick. "And you wanted to throw another case in his lap?" snipped Catherine.

"How was I supposed to know…he wouldn't sleep when he got home?" griped Nick.

"It was pretty harsh giving Grissom that kind of case after…"

Sara's eyes drifted up and Catherine didn't finish.

"Yeah, well maybe it opened his eyes a little," retorted Nick in a hushed voice.

"You think that all of this has been hard on Sara only?" Catherine whispered for Nick's ears only. "I don't know why he decided to come in and help…he clearly does not need to be working in the field…Doc said the kidnapping case rattled him," gritted Catherine.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't. Next time I'll leave Langston in charge."

Sara stood. "Cath…is everything alright at the lab?"

"Yeah, sure why?"

"Gil just…he's been different. I just thought things might be…I thought he was worried about the lab."

"He worked a kidnapping case," answered Catherine.

"Oh…oh, he didn't tell me."

"It was my doing," stated Nick as he came to join them. "I assigned it to him."

Sara glared at him.

"Since we're confessing," stated Greg "I forgot to leave the note the other day."

"Gil said…"

"He covered for me."

"He tried calling me but I wouldn't answer my cell," confessed Nick.

"I didn't either," admitted Greg.

"So you guys just let him think…"

"We thought…"

"You would teach him a lesson," snarled Sara.

"It was cruel…now that you think about it," admitted Nick.

"Whatever happened between me and Gil has nothing to do with the rest of you. You have no right to treat him like that! He's never done anything to either of you and…"

"Add my name to the chewing," said Brass as he stood.

"You too?" asked Sara.

"He called…said he couldn't find you. He was worried…so was I for a moment but then you and Greg walked in so I told him you would come home when you were ready. I didn't even tell him that I'd just seen you."

Sara's hand pressed against her temple. "I yelled at him…because he wouldn't let me do anything at the farm. He thought….he thought I was leaving…and you guys just let him…" she didn't finish remorseful for her outburst.

_No wonder he thought the worse…_

She sat back down in the chair.

Nick sat beside her. "Sara…"

"He's…been so afraid that I'm going to leave again…just up and run like I did before."

"You had a good reason," griped Nick.

"He didn't deserve to be treated like this…by any of you," she wept. "You were his family."

"We're still family," emphasized Catherine.

"Gggil doesn't see it that way," she cried as she remembered Mary's words.

Catherine sat down on the other side of Sara. "I haven't said much about…what happened with Heather but Gil was no match for her. He saw someone…as awkward as him and he just…wanted to help her. She took advantage of that."

A nurse appeared an hour later. "Is there a Sara Grissom?"

Sara rose immediately, hoping that Grissom had asked for her.

"Can I see my husband now?" she asked eagerly.

"Mrs. Grissom, your husband is gone."

"Gone?"

"We went to check on him and his room was empty along with his clothes. We checked the floor and…"

Sara wasn't listening anymore as she turned to Brass.

"I'm on it. He probably called a cab."

"Was he…well enough to leave the hospital?" asked Sara.

"Dr. Roberts was just keeping him overnight for observation."

Brass pressed Sara's elbow. "He's probably gone home."

Sara was out of her mind with worry when hours passed with little or no information.

Langston pulled Sara aside. "I think you need to go home…wait by the phone. Sara, it's not good for the baby if you get upset," he whispered.

She nodded in defeat.

"I'm off. I'll take you," he offered.

Catherine glanced at her watch. "Shift will be starting in a few hours. Maybe he'll show up for work."

"Just like that? He walks out of a hospital after refusing to see his wife but reports for work?" griped Greg.

Brass closed his phone. "Well, we know he was picked up by a cab driver and dropped off near a rental car agency. He rented a…"

Catherine held up her hand. "Jim, we can't used department resources to track Griss down. There is nothing to warrant that he's in danger or…"

"He's in danger of losing the only thing important in his life…his wife," warned Brass.

"Maybe Grissom needs some…space," reasoned Catherine.

Brass scoffed at the statement. "He could have told us."

"Really? It sounds like he didn't think he had a reason to….the way he was treated."

"He was treated? Look what hell Sara has gone through and…"

"How much guilt do you guys want Grissom to shoulder because I'm not sure he can handle much more? You and I both know he's not been doing well but everyone has been focused on Sara..." she held up her hands to block his interruption. "We know what Sara endured…but what about Grissom? Jim, you and I both know Sara's leaving almost pushed him over the edge."

"So what do you think we should do?"

"Give it until shift. If he doesn't show then…we'll talk with Sara and see if she wants to file a missing person's report."

"What if he does show?" griped Brass.

"I don't know. I'll have to assess his condition."

Brass muttered under his breath but he accepted Catherine's decision.

Catherine arrived at the lab an hour before shift, hoping she would spot Grissom.

Sara had called a few times but there was no further information on Grissom's whereabouts.

Langston had called an hour ago, letting Catherine know that Grissom had never returned home and that Sara was finally sleeping at his insistence.

"Thanks, Ray. Get some sleep yourself," she said as she leaned back in her chair.

She almost flew out of the chair when she spotted Grissom.

He tapped on the door that used to belong to him. "Judy said there was a…"

"Where the hell have you been?" she griped.

He stiffened. "What I do on my own time is none of your business. I was off the clock."

"Gil, you know what I mean. You walked out of the hospital," replied Catherine, worry dripping from every word.

"There was no reason for me to stay. I wasn't…injured…seriously."

"You passed out. That's a big deal! Leaving the hospital like that without telling anyone…"

"It was my decision."

"Look, I know things have been hard…this whole mess with Heather and then David's death…"

"Do you want me to take the case?"

She looked dumbfounded. "You just expect to show up for work as if nothing has happened and…Gil, everyone has a breaking point. I'm worried…"

"Catherine, can I work?" he asked gruffly.

She eyed him.

"I just need to work," he almost pleaded.

She took the assignment from his hand and glanced at it but then handed it back.

"You need some help?" she offered.

He shook his head.

"I'd like to work alone," he whispered.

"Gil…"

He was out of the door before she could utter another word.

She sighed as she picked up the phone and called Sara.

"Was he alright?" she asked.

"He seemed…he wanted to work, Sara so I let him. The case was just a robbery. Maybe it's what he needs right now to clear his mind. I couldn't say no," explained Catherine.

"I'll come by during dinner break," offered Sara.

"That would be good," smiled Catherine.

Nick appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, have you seen Grissom?" asked Nick.

"He just left. A case came in so he took it," said Catherine.

"Does he need any help?"

"You're offering? You sort of threw him to the wolves the last time," eyed Catherine.

"Cath, I was wrong. I'd like to give him a hand," offered Nick.

She handed him an assignment. "It was a simple robbery. Gil….asked to work solo."

"You think that's wise? He wasn't even discharged…left without permission. I'm not sure he should even be working under those conditions."

"Nicky, he needs it. He almost pleaded with me…I couldn't say no."

"He needs to go home and talk with Sara."

"We need to stay out of their marriage."

"I am. I just don't want him to think that Sara is just going to up and leave again."

"I think we just need to let him work through this…just the two of them."

"I get the message," admitted Nick. "I just…I didn't like how he looked."

"Me either, Nicky."

"Are you going to let him work a full shift?"

"I'll determine that when he gets back."

He returned three hours later.

Catherine groaned when a call came in about a gang shooting.

"Hey, how did it go?" she asked.

"Cath, it was a robbery case," he replied.

"Yeah, I know but you look tired. Why don't you…"

He looked at the assignment. "You're going to need everyone on that case."

"We can get by without you."

He glanced down the hall and saw Sara holding an overnight bag while she spoke with Wendy.

"I'll meet you at the scene," he said as he practically ran in the opposite direction.

Sara glanced back and frowned when she no longer saw Grissom.

She hurried to the Catherine.

"Where is he going?" she asked.

"I think he's trying to avoid you," replied Catherine.

Catherine glanced down at the overnight bag.

"I brought him some clothes…I didn't know if he had any here," she stated.

"He did. I think the bag rattled him," whispered Catherine.

Sara sucked in air. "I didn't think. I just…"

Sara turned green as Catherine grabbed her arm. "Stay here…rest. It may be awhile before we get this mess cleaned up. I'll watch over him," urged Catherine.

"Cath, could you…"

"I'll explain the bag to him."

He was already processing the scene by the time the others arrived.

Greg and Nick glanced at one another.

"Guys…give him space…just let him work. Okay?" whispered Catherine.

"Yeah, sure," stated Greg.

Nick hesitated a moment as he pulled Catherine aside.

"Cath, did you get a chance to tell him…we're sorry?" asked Nick.

"I left the apologies up to you," she said. "Hey Nicky, we'll clear this mess up after shift. Let's just get this case behind us, let him work and clear his mind and then we'll talk."

"You've got it boss…lady," he grinned.

"Good save," she huffed with a grin.

"You would think that as many bodies as we process in a month after a gang shooting, there wouldn't be much of a gang left," called out Greg as he carried out the last of the evidence bags.

"They're recruiting all of the time," sighed Nick.

"Well, some of these guys were not gang members," stated Brass as he joined in on the conversation. "According to witnesses, these guys were just playing a game of basketball and a gang dispute broke out."

"I guess basketball is no longer a safe sport," stated Catherine as she glanced toward Grissom who was quiet.

A crowd still remained behind the police tape.

"Hey Jim, you going to part the crowd so we can get out of here?"

"You think I'm Moses?" he griped but then chuckled. "I'm ready for dinner."

"That sounds good," chimed in Greg.

"Hey, how about the diner…rather than Frank's?" asked Nick.

Grissom fumbled inside his kit, not joining in on the conversation.

He felt Catherine's hand on his arm. "How about dinner?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"You okay?" she whispered.

"They keep getting younger and younger," he said as he wiped his hands on his pants.

"Let's have dinner…all of us," she begged.

"I'll take the evidence back," he stated.

"Gil…I know the guys said some things…did some things…"

"Cath, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go…shift is almost over," he said.

"Are you going home?" she questioned.

He picked up his kit. "I don't have a home anymore."

"Gil, that's not true. Listen…"

Brass began to call out to the officers to clear the area further.

There were several loud pops as the crowd ran for cover.

"That wasn't a gun," stated Greg.

"Well, at least it cleared the area," stated Nick as he started toward the Denali with Greg.

"We need to talk…but not here," stated Catherine as she grabbed her things.

Greg and Nick stopped to wait for the others.

Catherine shook her head, letting Nick know that Grissom had turned down dinner plans.

"Hey, Grissom, how about the diner?" asked Nick.

The air was filled with the sound of screeching tires.

Gun fire exploded in the air.

Nick and Greg were shoved to the ground as bullets whizzed above their heads.

Brass managed to get off a few shots as well as the officers as the car sped away.

Catherine jumped up. "Is everybody alright?"

"I've got an officer shot," called out Brass.

Nick and Greg scrambled to their feet as well as Grissom.

"Man, I'm getting tired of getting shot at," griped Nick.

Grissom picked up his kit.

"Hey, Griss, thanks for shoving us to the ground," stated Nick.

"Yeah. Did you play football?" chimed in Greg.

Grissom did not respond but continued toward his car with his kit.

"Hey," griped Nick as he glanced back at Catherine, throwing up his hands in frustration.

They watched as Grissom made it to car door and then halted.

He slipped down onto the pavement with his back against the car.

"Grissom!" yelled Catherine as she ran toward him. "Officer down!"

Brass turned and saw his friend leaning against his car as blood oozed from his shoulder.

Catherine quickly assessed his condition.

"Gil, stay with me," she urged as she put pressure on the wound.

"Bullet went straight through," she breathed. "Nick, get some towels from the Denali."

Nick quickly returned, assisting Catherine.

Grissom's head bobbed forward.

"Gil, stay awake," she urged.

Grissom smiled as he glanced up. "Warrick."

The others paled.

"We need an ambulance, now!" cried Catherine.

Note from author:

Gee, sorry about that…really. If everyone will hurry up and review, maybe I can post again soon.

Take care!


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six:**

Warrick patted Grissom on the shoulder.

"They can't see me," stated Warrick.

Grissom coughed, sending the others into a panic.

"He's coughing up blood," yelled Nick. "Where the hell is that ambulance?"

"I'm dying…aren't I?" asked Grissom.

"No, you're not!" cried Catherine.

"You've come for me, haven't you?" asked Grissom.

"Who is he talking to?" whispered Greg.

Catherine gently pulled his face toward her. "Gil, listen to me. You've got to hang on. Don't let go!"

Grissom turned back to look at Warrick.

"I'm sorry, I let you down Warrick," coughed Grissom.

"Griss, you never let me down," stated Warrick.

"I did," wept Grissom. "Just like I let Sara down."

"Griss, you didn't let any of us down," urged Nick. "You need to hang on. Jim!"

Brass ran over. "Two minutes," he announced. "You hear that Gil? The ambulance will be here in two minutes."

Grissom shivered. "I'm cold."

"Listen to Brass. Ambulance is on its way," stated Warrick. "Just hold on. Sara needs you to hang on."

"Sara…doesn't need me. She needed them…more than me," he cried.

"Is that why you pushed us out of the way?" asked Greg. "You thought…"

Grissom gasped for air as blood oozed from his mouth.

"Listen, I know it hurts, but you have to hold on," urged Warrick.

"Sara…was the only good thing in my life," Grissom gasped.

"Gil, Sara loves you," sniffled Catherine. "She came to the lab to…"

His body shuddered once and then went limp.

"Gil!" cried Catherine as she held him in his arms.

Medics rushed toward them.

_Grissom glanced down at his body as he stood beside Warrick._

"_So this is what it's like to be dead?" asked Grissom._

_The medic scrambled with an I.V._

"_Grissom, you have to go back," stated Warrick._

"_There's no reason," replied Grissom._

"_You can't leave Sara."_

"_She's better off. She was going to leave anyway."_

"_No, she wasn't. Catherine was trying to explain that to you. You have to go back now."_

"_No…it's too painful."_

"_It was painful for Sara but she went back…she could have died in that coffin but she didn't. She held on for you."_

"_I don't know how…to go back," grieved Grissom._

_Warrick grabbed him by the arm and shoved him toward his body._

"_I'll see you again," he urged. "You've got some things to resolve…then I'll come back."_

"I've got two entry wounds," announced the medic to his partner.

"Two?" questioned Catherine. "I…only saw one."

Nick grabbed her by the arm trying to comfort her.

"It's just below the shoulder wound. Left lung has collapsed. We've got to get him stable before we can transport him. Do you know next of kin?" the medic asked.

"Yes…we are. We're his family," cried Catherine.

Grissom's chest rose and then fell.

"He's back," called out the medic.

The others cried out in relief.

"He's not out of the woods," cautioned the medic.

"Nicky, get to the lab. Sara is waiting in my office," ordered Catherine.

Hours passed as they waited for any news.

Langston sat beside Sara as they waited. "Surgery could take a few hours," he cautioned.

"But you said, it should have been over by now," she griped.

"Sara, they'll tell us as soon as they can," he urged. "You need to remain calm."

"I can't stand the waiting," she sniffled. "Is this what he went through…when I was abducted?"

"He was just as impatient as you," stated Brass.

The surgeon appeared. "He's in recovery but it's going to be several hours before we can move him into a private room. I suggest you go home and come back in a few hours."

Sara shook her head as she sat down. "I'll wait."

The guys came and went as hours passed.

There was a slight nudge and she woke immediately.

"Sara, I'm going to take you to my place," whispered Nick. "You need to get some decent rest."

"I can't leave, Nick. I need to see him. I haven't had a chance to talk with him…to explain things."

"That may be awhile," he whispered as he took her hand. "Grissom is in a private room but he told the doctors he doesn't want to see anyone."

"He's going to see me!" she insisted.

"He needs to mend a little and then…"

"Nick, he could have died today. He could have died thinking that I was going to leave him. Too much time has gone by already…I need to clear this up…all of it."

"We've tried to persuade the doctor…but this doctor Roberts isn't budging, especially after Grissom walked out of the hospital last time and returns in critical condition."

"He's critical?" Sara asked.

"He's tough, Sara. He's going to make it," assured Nick.

A day passed as they took turns sitting with Sara in the waiting area since she refused to leave.

"The nurse told me he's doing better," whispered Sara as she leaned forward, exhaustion evident on her face.

Catherine sat down across from her. "Sara, it's not going to do Griss any good if you get sick."

"Why would it matter? He won't see me," she sniffled. "I begged last night but he told the nurse that I should leave…take whatever I wanted…from the house," she wept. "Cath, he doesn't want me anymore."

"That's nonsense."

Sara held her head in her hands.

"Listen, I know I shouldn't pry but you look awful. Maybe we should get a doctor to look you over…"

"Morning sickness is a bitch," she groaned.

Catherine's eyes widened. "You're pregnant? Does Grissom know? Of course not, if he did, he would be out here, insisting that you go home."

"I haven't told him. I've been waiting for things to settle down…but there hasn't been a good time."

"Are you sure you're alright?" she questioned.

Sara shook her head. "I…need…my husband."

Catherine patted her hand. "Let me try something."

Catherine pulled out her phone. "Ray, we need a favor."

An hour later, Grissom felt a slight nudge.

He tried to ignore it but it was persistent.

Catherine's presence startled him.

"Sorry, I had to wake you but they won't let Sara come into your room unless you say it's okay."

"Sara is here?"

"Yes….the guys were here but someone had…to work…I gave them the worse case of the night," she teased.

He glanced down frowning at the ugly gown he wore and pulled up the covers.

Catherine grinned.

"Langston is going to come by. He offered you a discount…family discount that is. Sara is waiting," reminded Catherine.

"Sara…should go. I'm fine. She doesn't have to be concerned…about me," he griped.

"But she is…and because of that I'm worried about her…about both of you."

It got is attention.

"She shouldn't…worry…there's no need," he said quietly.

"She is. She has been ever since he had the wreck. Maybe it's because you fell on your face…or you passed out at the wheel and almost got yourself killed. Maybe you took a bullet without thinking of the cost to yourself. Maybe you haven't been taking care of yourself."

"I'm leaving in a few hours…they can't keep me," he huffed.

She pressed on his shoulder and he yelled obscenities.

"I was just making sure you remembered about the gunshot wound. I don't think you're going to slip out this time….we'll be watching this time," she glared. "Oh and don't expect to come back to work for a few days…or until you have a doctor's release."

Both were quiet for awhile.

"You haven't been sleeping again. Have you?" she asked softly.

"I was sleeping until you woke me," he griped.

She playfully slapped him. "You know we're family, right?"

His lower lip quivered a bit and then he said gruffly. "Call me the black sheep of the family."

"Sorry but that's title was taken…by my father…and my father was much worse," she teased.

"Send Sara home."

"She says she not leaving until she gets to see you. Gil, she means it."

"I'm tired, Cath. Maybe it's better if she leaves…I've caused her nothing but grief. I don't want to sit around and wonder if this is the day she leaves again…I just can't do that."

"Okay," she said, standing.

"Okay?" he griped.

"Yes. I'll tell her that you said it's over and that you're going to serve her with divorce papers."

"I didn't say that!"

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't!" he insisted. "She's the one that said…she'd had enough. Just because…"

"Oh that," yawned Catherine as she interrupted him, appearing bored over the conversation.

"Oh that?" he muttered.

"She's had enough of you hiding your feelings. She knows something is wrong and you won't tell her. She said she's had enough…enough of letting you get away with it."

He slumped back into the bed.

"Feel a bit foolish?" she asked.

He glanced angrily at Catherine but then shoved up the covers, irritated by the conversation.

"You…you don't understand," he said quietly.

"Oh, yes I do. You jumped to conclusions and then gave yourself a panic attack."

"She's going to leave me!"

"Gil, Sara said she wasn't going to do that. She told you that…didn't she?"

"She left before," he choked.

Catherine leaned forward. "That's not what she meant when she made the comment. She was tired of you avoiding your problems."

"She had…her bag….it was probably packed. She was probably saying goodbye…this time," he managed to get out.

Catherine's fingers sifted through his curly hair. "Gil, she had brought you a change of clothes. She didn't know if you had any at the lab. She's worried sick about you. She refuses to leave…those chairs are murder on a person's back."

His fingers picked at the small cotton blanket.

"Are you cold?" she asked.

"Hospitals are always drafty," he growled. "The gowns don't cover much of your….ass…assets."

Catherine chuckled. "Glad your sense of humor is returning."

She patted him on the shoulder. "Gil, can Sara visit for awhile?"

"I feel foolish," he sniffled.

"I bet you look silly in that gown too…mind if I see your legs?" she teased.

"Remind me to not let you in next time," he said gruffly.

Catherine smiled but then got serious. "Gil, Sara really needs to see you. She doesn't look well herself."

"Is she alright? Has she slept any?" he questioned.

"Some…but she might be persuaded to go home for awhile if she was able to see you," stated Catherine.

Grissom nodded.

Catherine flew out of the room.

The door opened and Sara appeared.

She smiled weakly as she took the seat vacated by Catherine.

The room was quiet as Sara sat there, studying him from head to toe.

"I can go home in a few days," he said.

"Jim offered to drive us," she said.

He sat up quickly. "I got a rental…until ours can be replaced."

"It's at the lab…you won't be released to drive," she explained. "I already called the insurance agent and the claim has been filed."

"I was going to do that," he insisted.

"It's done."

"Thank you," he said softly.

There was a tap on the door and a nurse emerged with a tray.

Grissom took one look at the food and grimaced.

"You better eat if you expect to be released in a few days," announced the nurse.

"I want to get well…not worse," he mumbled, causing Sara to smile slightly.

He glanced toward her. "Have you eaten?"

"Brass brought something from the cafeteria."

He stared at the tray but made no move to eat any of it.

"Gil, you have to eat," she insisted.

"I don't remember what caused the wreck," he admitted.

"They think you passed out," she offered.

"I'm sorry about the vehicle," he replied.

Her hand slipped into his.

"I do remember the shooting," he said. "I didn't have time to warn them so I…" he didn't finish.

"The guys said you shoved them to the pavement…took two bullets…saving them."

"I wasn't there for Warrick but…"

"So…you would have taken the bullet for Warrick if you could have?"

"Yes."

She burst into tears.

"Sara?"

"You would just leave me…just like that…without blinking an eye…without considering me?"

"I did consider you Sara! Look what I've done with our lives? I…figured you needed Greg and Nick more than you need me."

"You ass hole!" she screeched.

The nurse appeared.

"You let yourself get shot…because you thought…you're my husband, Gil. How do you think I would feel if you died?" she yelled.

"Is there a problem?" asked the nurse.

"Yes! He needs his head examined," muttered Sara as she swiped at her tears.

He chuckled but then stopped suddenly when she added, "Shut up, Grissom," she choked.

She tore off the lid to the Jell-o and handed him the spoon.

"Eat," she ordered.

He took it from her hand, grimacing with each bite.

"The gown is hideous," she declared.

"It's drafty too," he muttered.

"Did you flash Catherine?"

"Wouldn't she have liked that?" he groaned as he shifted in the bed.

"Gil?" she worried.

"I'm sore more from the crash than being shot. I pity crash dummies," he grimaced.

"Especially when you act like one," she said under her breath.

The spoon stopped in midair. "I heard that."

"It's true. You just assumed….not bothering to know the truth."

"You're right," he admitted.

He handed her the empty container.

She offered him a roll and he ate it.

"I'm not eating their mystery meat," he declared.

"Okay," she smiled.

His hand fumbled toward hers and she grabbed it.

"You look tired. You should go home," he urged.

"I'm fine, really," she pressed.

"Those chairs are not comfortable."

The nurse stepped inside a few minutes later. "How did we do?"

She frowned but took the tray away.

She handed Grissom some pills.

"Per doctor orders," the nurse declared.

"The pain is manageable," Grissom stated.

"This is to help you sleep."

He hesitated briefly but took them.

Sara continued to sit with him as he drifted off.

"Go home," he slurred.

"I'll be here when you wake," she whispered.

He opened his eyes, fighting the medication.

"Gil, go to sleep."

"Does Ray know that you're staying?" he asked.

"Yes."

He grimaced once more.

"How is the pain?" she whispered.

"It's…bad," he admitted.

She buzzed the nurse. "Could you give him something for the pain?"

She returned with an injection.

"This should help you be able to sleep," stated the nurse.

His hand fumbled over to hers.

She squeezed it. "I'll be here when you wake."

He drifted off but then briefly opened his eyes one last time.

"You should…leave…me," he whispered. "You'd be happier."

"Shut up," she sniffled. "I'm through running. You're stuck with me."

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm sorry….about the baby."

She froze but then relaxed. "Did you want to be a father?"

"Yes….as long as you…were…its mother."

He struggled to remain awake.

"Could we try again?"

"I thought that's what we're doing…I promised I wouldn't leave."

"Do you think…I mean…would you want…a boy or a girl?"

Sara furrowed her eye brows.

"Gil, what are we talking about?"

"If it's too soon….but I don't want to wait a long time. Did you ask your O.B….when we could try again?"

"What?"

He shook his head as he struggled to pull himself up but Sara forced him to remain lying.

"Gil, we can talk tomorrow."

"We've never talked about the baby," he choked. "You didn't tell me…you didn't let me…mourn…with you."

"Mourn?"

"We lost our baby…why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

Her eyes widened. "You know?"

"Ray wouldn't confirm it. He said I would have to ask you but I didn't get the chance because of…Heather. When you wouldn't let me know about your condition, I figured it was because you'd lost the baby. I'm sorry," he cried.

"Gil, I didn't lose the baby."

Note from the author:

Sorry for the delay in posting this morning but it's been hectic around here. I'd like to post two chapters today as well as tomorrow with the final chapter on Sunday so please review quickly.

Take care!


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty Seven:**

His breath came in gasps as he fought the medication.

The nurse appeared.

"Mr. Grissom, is there something wrong?" asked the nurse.

Grissom grabbed Sara's hand. "The baby…"

"Mrs. Grissom, I'm sorry but visiting hours are over and I must insist that you leave."

Sara tried to remove her hand from his but he clamped down on it.

"Don't leave me!" he begged as he struggled to sit up.

The nurse called for an attendant.

"Gil, I have to leave…the room but I'm going to be out in the waiting area. I won't leave you," she urged.

"No…please, don't leave," he urged.

An attendant appeared in the doorway beside the nurse.

"She's not leaving," he demanded.

"Mr. Grissom, your wife can return…"

He threw off the covers, ignoring the draft as he continued to hold onto Sara's hand.

"If she goes then I go," he declared as his eyes searched the room for his clothes.

"Mr. Grissom, you can't be released!"

"Sara, help me find my clothes," he stated.

"Gil, get back into the bed," Sara pleaded.

He teetered on the edge.

"Gggil, ppplease," she begged.

His trembling hand caressed her cheek. "Okay Sara," he whispered as she helped him.

He refused to let go of her.

Sara stared at the nurse. "He won't let go….I'll just stay until he goes to sleep," offered Sara.

He cursed when he felt his grip loosening. "I can't let go…you'll fall…I'll lose you…both," he cried as he fought to stay awake.

Sara stroked his cheek. "I'm safe….we're safe. Just sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

"Sara…please," he begged but already his fingers were releasing its grip.

"Please, don't make her leave," begged Grissom. "Call my doctor…or call Dr. Langston."

The nurse hesitated.

"I promise, he'll sleep," offered Sara.

"I'll check on him in a few minutes. If he's not sleeping by then, you'll have to leave."

The door closed.

She sat on the edge of the bed. "Sleep," she whispered.

"Lie down with me," he begged.

"Gil…"

He tugged at her hand although she could easily get away from him.

She glanced toward the door and then slipped in beside him.

"You always have cold feet," he said softly.

"Sleep," she yawned.

Within minutes he was asleep.

She closed her eyes, not caring if the nurse caught them.

The next morning he woke and smiled when he saw Langston standing beside the bed.

"I take it, you had a good night?" questioned Langston in a soft voice.

"Yes," whispered Grissom.

"I came by last night and persuaded Dr. Roberts to let Sara stay. Both of you needed the rest."

"She told me about the pregnancy."

"I'm glad she finally did. She was trying to wait…give both of you time to mourn for David. I've been worried about her."

"Is she and the baby alright?" asked Grissom quickly.

"We're fine," answered Sara as she sat up.

"Good morning," smiled Grissom.

Sara leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning," she replied.

She slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door.

"You should be able to go home in a couple of days," stated Langston. "Provided there are no complications."

Grissom nodded as he stared at the closed bathroom.

"I understand you died briefly," remarked Langston.

"I saw Warrick," said Grissom softly.

"It must have been comforting to see him."

"Yes, it was."

Sara reappeared, sitting beside the bed.

"I'll leave both of you. I think you have a lot to talk about."

Days passed as Brass drove them to the farm.

"You guys, going to be alright?" asked Brass.

Sara caught sight of the burnt out remains of the Toliver farm.

"Mmmary is coming," stated Sara.

Grissom tried not to overreact to the stutter.

He slipped his hand into hers.

"She ran a few errands for us," stated Sara as she leaned her head against Grissom.

"Well, we can stop in or stay over if you need us," offered Brass.

Grissom could not help but glance at the charred remains himself as it drifted out of view.

Brass noticed both of their reactions.

"They determined Martha left something on the stove," stated Brass.

"We know," breathed Sara.

"Good," said Brass, as he eyed Grissom's reaction to the news but there was none.

When they arrived, Brass quickly opened the passenger side door.

He offered to help Grissom but he managed to get out on his own with Sara following closely by his side.

Grissom glanced toward the barn but turned when the front screen door opened and Mary stepped out.

"It's good to see both of you. I have the shopping done," she announced. "Dinner is almost done."

"Jim, can you stay?" asked Sara nervously.

"Uhm sure…is that alright, Gil?" he asked.

Grissom looked shocked that he would ask but said softly, "of course."

He'd been quiet since his release.

Sara seemed unnerved by it, not sure what to make of it.

He made his way up the stairs and into the living room.

The others did not say anything as his breathing picked up, exertion robbing him of his strength.

Sara's eyes pleaded with Mary.

"Gil, bedrest," she ordered. "I'll bring in some coffee as soon as you're settled."

He seemed irritated that he couldn't manage to lean over and untie his shoe.

Sara started to do it but he gently brushed her hands away.

"I can do this," he said softly.

"I know you can but I want…need to help," replied Sara.

"Sara…I'm fine," he stated.

"You're quiet."

"I…I didn't think it would be so hard…I miss him…David," he admitted with a slight catch in his voice.

"I know," she said as she rubbed his back. "But we both promised we wouldn't hide our feelings anymore."

Once his shoes were removed, he stretched out on the bed.

Brass stood off to the side, leaving them to get settled.

Mary returned with coffee cups and handed them out.

Grissom frowned when he was handed some tea.

"Tea?"

"Oh sorry," stated Mary as he took it from his hands and then handed it to Sara.

Sara gave him her cup.

"Juice?" he grumbled.

"You need to sleep. The coffee may keep you awake," reasoned Mary.

"I've got coffee," announced Brass.

"Show off," retorted Sara as he grinned.

Sara slipped away with Mary into the kitchen.

"Gil, I'm sorry I gave you a hard time…when you thought…Sara is not going to leave," declared Brass.

"I know…that," said Grissom softly.

"Anything bothering you?" asked Brass.

"No…yes," he clammed up when Sara returned.

He looked at Sara. "You look tired."

"You didn't sleep much," stated Sara.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake," admitted Grissom.

"You were anxious…to be getting out of the hospital," smiled Sara slightly.

A car pulled up and Brass glanced out of the window.

"The others are here," stated Brass.

"Others?" questioned Grissom nervously.

Sara caressed the palm of his hand. "They came to dinner. Is that alright?"

"Uhm yes," he said.

"Gil, if you don't feel up to it then they can just pop in, say hello and leave," urged Sara.

"No…it's fine really," he said.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes."

Dinner was served as the others made light conversation.

Sara remained by Grissom's side as he slowly joined in the conversation.

The tension eased considerable.

Once dinner ended, he sat down in the swing on the front porch.

Sara and Catherine assisted Mary with the dishes.

"It's nice out here," stated Nick as he leaned against the house.

Greg sat down on the steps. "Doesn't seem like we're still in Vegas."

"Griss, I'm sorry…for giving you a hard time," began Nick.

"You…had a right. You were protecting Sara."

"Yeah, well, she didn't need protection. You were doing that," stated Nick.

Grissom's jaw twitched. "Not very well, Nicky," he managed to get out.

"I…we shouldn't have taken sides," said Nick.

Grissom was quiet.

"So buddy, are you going to tell us…what's bothering you?" asked Brass.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

Brass stepped closer. "Gil, I've known you for years. You're rattled."

"I'm….I'm not," he said weakly.

They didn't believe him.

"If you need anything, you call one of us," stated Nick.

"I have tomorrow night off," offered Greg. "I can help out…Just tell me what you need."

"Mary is going to stay a few days," breathed Grissom.

"That's great…but if you need one of us, call…don't hesitate," urged Nick.

Grissom smiled slightly, "Thanks Nicky."

"So…did you really see Warrick?" asked Greg.

Nick and Brass glared at Greg.

"Sorry, dumb question," muttered Greg.

"Yes, I think I did."

Weeks passed as the team kept a close eye on both of them.

Catherine took the reports and headed to her office.

"Hey, I heard Grissom was coming back tonight," stated Nick.

"That's right," stated Catherine.

"You think he's ready?"

"Nick, you saw him the other day. He's doing well."

"Yeah, I know but I just think he needs some more time off."

"He wants to come back…so he can decide…I need to know myself."

"You want Ecklie's old job?"

"I want whatever is best for Grissom," stated Catherine as she collected some files.

"Hey Cath, did he still seem…I don't know…not right?" asked Nick.

"Sara has noticed it…but he won't say anything. Maybe he's stressed over trying to decide about coming back to work."

He fretted leaving her.

"Gil, I'm going to turn in early. I won't even know that you're gone…okay that's a lie. I'll miss you in bed…but…wake me when you get home."

He kissed her briefly as he trudged to his vehicle.

Catherine was waiting on him when he arrived.

"How about staying in the lab the first night?" offered Catherine.

"Cath…give me an assignment."

"You sure?"

"I'd rather work in the field than stay anywhere near Hodges. He's called every day…sent…things."

"Oh, you are sounding better," grinned Catherine.

"I'll grab an assignment from the pile," he stated as he headed toward Judy's desk.

"You're in charge tonight," she announced.

Grissom arrived on the scene just as David stepped out of his vehicle.

"Hey Grissom," smiled David.

"Hello, David," replied Grissom as he hesitated at the door.

"You know…the deceased?" asked David.

"Yes, I think I do," swallowed Grissom.

Grissom stepped into the house, noting the debris scattered through the house.

"It must have been some fight," muttered David.

Detective Vartann stepped into the room. "Got two bodies…domestic violence most likely. Hey, I didn't know you were back."

"The bodies…mother and child?" asked Grissom.

"No. Man and woman," said Vartann.

Grissom glanced around, looking relieved.

"There is a child…services has him in the next room," added Vartann.

Grissom hurried into the other room.

He looked at the young toddler.

"We were just about to leave," said the worker.

"You can't…leave with Eli," gasped Grissom.

David and Vartann followed Grissom into the room.

Grissom took the child from the woman's arms.

"Do you know this child?" she asked.

"Yes, he's my godson," said Grissom. "His father was on my team."

"You used past tense."

"Warrick Brown died last year," explained Grissom.

"From the photographs…I think his mother is now deceased," stated the worker.

"I haven't looked at the body," stated Grissom.

"I'll do it," stated David. "I remember her from Warrick's funeral."

Grissom patted Eli on the back.

"Sir, I'll need to take Eli into custody and…"

"No, you're not putting him in foster care," grieved Grissom.

"Sir…unless you're a blood relative then…"

Grissom stepped back with the child. "He's not going into the system. I can take him….my wife and I…we can take Eli…please," begged Grissom.

"Sir, I can't. I wish I could but…"

She reached for the child but Grissom refused to relinquish him.

"I have a video tape…Warrick…Eli is now my responsibility."

"Sir if you don't relinquish the child, I have to call the officer in here and take the child from you," warned the worker.

Grissom still refused to give up the child.

"I'll call a judge…a friend and get an order…just let us keep him with us…he'll stay at the lab…please," begged Grissom.

The woman sighed. "He remains at the lab but if the judge doesn't come through within twelve hours, I have to take him to a foster home."

Grissom nodded.

Grissom opened his phone and tried to call Sara but she did not answer.

He quickly called Catherine and was relieved when she picked up on the first ring.

"Cath…I need you," he choked.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," she replied.

There was a slight catch in Catherine's voice when she saw Grissom holding the toddler.

She knew it was Eli.

"I tried calling Sara but she doesn't answer," he explained.

"Nick said something about her cell phone not keeping a charge," replied Catherine as she took the little boy's hand.

She stared at his bright eyes. "He has Warrick's eyes," she mourned.

"Cath, services is going to take him into foster care within twelve hours unless I can get Judge Holloway to sign an emergency petition."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked quickly.

"I need Sara…I need to make sure if she is okay with…I can't let Eli go into care," he said as he patted the young boy's back.

The toddler yawned and then laid his head on Grissom's shoulder.

"I'll get Jim to send a patrol car out there to get her," she said.

"Eli has to stay at the lab…I know I'm breaking one of my old rules but…"

Catherine placed her hand on his arm. "You're not in charge anymore. I am and I say Eli can stay."

He smiled sadly as he glanced back at the house.

He shifted the young boy, handing him to Catherine.

Eli whimpered but Grissom quickly patted his back and then covered him with a blanket.

"I need to get started on this," he said.

"Gil, I can work on this. You take Eli and…"

He shook his head. "Eli is probably used to being with a woman…David bagged a few of his toys to take along with some clothes."

"Let me send Nick…"

"No! I'll finish the case," he said. "I just needed to make sure Eli was safe."

"Tina….is dead?" she asked.

"Yes. Multiple stab wounds. Looks like the boyfriend did it then shot himself," he said as he rubbed his neck.

"Are you okay with this?" she asked.

"Cath…if Sara…"

"I'll take Eli," she soothed. "I kind of hope Sara will decline but knowing Sara…she'll take this little fella in an instant."

Sara frantically ran into the lab but halted when she caught sight of Eli sleeping on a make shift pallet in the floor of Catherine's office.

Sara glanced around. "Where is Gil?"

"He's processing the scene. Tina was killed. Domestic case," whispered Catherine. "Listen, Gil is locating Judge Holloway to sign an emergency petition giving you and Gil temporary custody until a full hearing can be heard in three days."

Sara leaned back in the seat, relief on her face.

"So I take it, Gil was correct in his thinking that you would be willing to take Eli?"

"Of course," Sara answered.

"I was willing," offered Catherine.

"Warrick…"

Catherine held up her hands to stop Sara's protest before it began. "He would have preferred two parents," finished Catherine. "It's okay."

"Did he…did he see it happen?" asked Sara.

"I don't think so. He probably heard the screams…the fighting."

Eli stirred, raising his head to look around.

"Hi Eli," smiled Sara.

"Momma?" he asked.

"Momma is gone, sweetie," answered Sara.

He put his head down on the pallet and whimpered.

Sara patted his back.

Nick appeared in the doorway. "I just heard about Tina." He glanced down at the floor and saw Eli, sighing in relief.

"What's going to happen…with him?" asked Nick.

Catherine smiled. "Gil contacted an attorney who is trying to track down Judge Holloway to agree to give temporary custody to he and Sara."

"That's great," smiled Nick. "Where is Griss?"

"He insisted on finishing up the scene," stated Catherine.

"I can help," offered Nick.

"I checked on him a little while ago before Sara got here and he was packing up."

"Nicky, I'm not sure if Gil even took a dinner break. Mind getting us some sandwiches from the deli?" asked Catherine. "I think this is going to be a long night."

Note from author:

Boy, I get down to just a few chapters and the lap top decides to throw in a few kinks into microsoft word making it difficult to proofread. LOL. Anyway, here is the second installment for the day. By the way, I am trying to finish this before I leave on vacation early Monday morning which is the reason I am posting two in one day with the final chapter on Sunday. I will try to post one in the morning and then the next installment at night. This should give me enough time to be a parent, wife, slave to my money pit house as well as all of the other things that I do and try to proof read on a laptop that is destined to drive me insane. LOL Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading. It's almost over!

Take care!


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty Eight:**

An hour later Grissom arrived at the lab.

He logged in the evidence and then hurried to Catherine's office.

Catherine smiled when she saw him.

"Did Sara…" he stopped when he saw Sara sitting in the floor playing with Eli.

"Hey," she said softly.

He smiled slightly as he glanced at Eli and then Sara.

"Judge Holloway called me on my way in," stated Grissom.

"And?" asked both of the women anxiously.

"He signed the order," replied Grissom. "Sara…"

"Warrick would want this," stated Sara. "You did the right thing, Gil."

_I understand what you meant, Warrick…_

_You wanted us to take Eli…_

He nodded, letting the anxiety flow from his body.

Sara's smile spread across her face when Eli handed her a toy.

"Play?" he asked.

She swallowed remembering those precious times with David.

"Play," Sara responded with a huge smile.

She turned to Grissom, mouthing "I love you."

He gulped, grateful for having such a loving wife.

He glanced briefly at Catherine, relief on his face that Eli's future was safe from the horror he'd just processed.

"I need to shower," he said as he glanced down at his clothes.

"You're fine," replied Catherine. "There are some sandwiches in the break room. We've been waiting for you."

"Go ahead," he said as he started to step out.

Sara scrambled to her feet.

"Gil, come and eat…something first," soothed Sara.

"I'm fine. I'll be in there soon," he agreed.

Sara watched as he headed to the locker room.

"Cath, I'll be back in a few minutes," stated Sara as she followed after Grissom.

She was surprised to find him sitting on the bench.

"Gil?"

He quickly grabbed his things. "I'm sorry. I got sidetracked."

She glanced at his hand and then grabbed it.

"You found your ring!"

"Yes…I did. It was stuck in the lining of the suitcase."

He pulled out Sara's ring from his pocket.

"Brass found this at Heather's home."

Her eyes widened at the sight of her ring.

She quickly slipped it on.

"I was going to give you the option of getting new ones."

"I prefer these," she said as she caressed his cheek.

She smiled but then it soon faded. "Gil, what's wrong?"

He remained quiet.

"Is there something I've done?" she asked.

He cupped her face with his hands, kissing her softly on the lips. "No…Sara."

"You…seem sad…depressed," she remarked.

"It was just hard…to process the scene…to personally know the victim," he said softly.

Sara kissed him on both cheeks. "Gil, just admit it."

"Admit what?" he asked.

"You have to admit it, Gil…not me."

He shook his head in denial but she quickly gathered him into her arms, feeling his shoulders shake.

"It's okay, honey," she soothed.

"I can't do this job anymore. I'm so tired of death, Sara. I can't…process a scene when I know how much it would hurt if…I had lost you," he admitted. "I feel like I can't breathe…can't bring myself to see another body."

"You need to quit," she whispered.

"But they're shorthanded and…"

Her hand covered his mouth. "They'll manage. There are some new prospects…even a transfer in from another county."

"I didn't want to disappoint you….or them."

"The team will be fine. I'm glad you've finally made your decision," she said as she kissed him.

"I've got an offer to teach," he offered.

She pursed her lips. "We could do our own research…there on the farm."

He smiled. "Yes, we could."

He kissed her gently on the lips, letting his linger briefly.

"I should get going. I'll be out in a few minutes. You should go on. The others are probably waiting."

"They're waiting for both of us," she clarified.

He stood, tired beyond belief.

"Sara, are you sure about Eli…what about your arm?" he asked. "You can't lift him."

"We'll manage," she said. "Eli is walking so we'll help each other. We'll have to make some changes at home."

"Uhm sure."

"He'll need to sleep in the room next to ours. We'll need to get a crib and a few other things."

"I'm sure the others will help," he said.

"The court hearing…will it be just a formality?"

"Yes…unless someone from Tina's side of the family petitions for custody…but that's not likely."

"Warrick would have been very proud of you today. You kept Services from taking Eli."

He fidgeted, clearly unsettled by her statement.

"You should go back…in case Eli needs one of us."

He disappeared behind the wall which was off limits.

Catherine was holding Eli in her lap while the others were sitting in the break room.

"He's got a good appetite," smiled Catherine.

Sara sat down as Nick handed her a sandwich but she put it down.

"I'll wait for Griss," she said softly.

"Is Grissom alright?" asked Nick.

"I think he overdid it," sighed Sara.

"Well none of us will have to worry about this little fella anymore. Isn't that right Eli?" asked Catherine.

"Momma?" asked Eli.

Catherine froze but then hugged the small toddler. "Momma is gone," she whispered.

"Momma?" he repeated.

Sara took Eli and held him tight.

"Momma is with Daddy…Warrick," stated Sara. "They loved you very much."

"Momma," whimpered the small child.

Sara kissed him as she held the little boy tight against her body as she rocked back and forth gently.

It seemed to soothe him.

"You're a natural," whispered Nick as he patted Eli's back.

Sara's eyes caught sight of Grissom as he walked down the hall.

He hesitated at the door.

"We have sandwiches," offered Nick. "I got your favorite."

"Thanks Nick."

Nick glanced at Sara and smiled as Grissom finished part of the sandwich.

Eli turned and extended his hands to Grissom.

He took the small toddler.

"He acts as though he knows you," stated Sara.

"He does," said Grissom softly. "After… after Warrick died, I visited Tina and Eli…just checking. The last time I saw her was right before I went to Costa Rica."

Eli leaned his head on Grissom's shoulder.

"I think we better get him home," stated Sara.

The break room was quiet as the team watched them leave.

"I didn't know Grissom was keeping tabs on Eli and Tina," stated Brass.

"I did," said Catherine. "He mentioned Eli just before he left. He wanted me to be sure and checked on them in case he didn't come back in a few weeks. I tried but Tina…wouldn't..,I think she knew how much Warrick meant to me so she refused to accept any help from me."

"Maybe Eli is just what they need," sighed Catherine as she picked up a toy that had been left behind.

"Griss didn't seem too thrilled about it," stated Greg.

Langston appeared.

"How was your night off?" asked Catherine.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I heard I miss some excitement. I understand Sara and Gil have Eli."

"You know Eli?" asked Greg.

"Gil introduced me to Tina and Eli right before he left for Costa Rica. Eli had an upper respiratory infection. It seems his mother, Tina, had a nasty nicotine habit and she smoked around him a lot."

"Sara is just what that little boy needs," declared Nick.

"You just missed your patient. We had dinner with her at Franks earlier," stated Brass. "She mentioned another doctor appointment."

Brass watched for any reaction from Langston but there was none.

He played a hunch.

"You think it's wise for Sara and Grissom to be taking in a young child…with one of their own on the way?" asked Brass.

Heads snapped toward Brass and then back to Langston.

Langston smiled but said nothing.

"Sara is pregnant?" asked Nick.

Catherine glanced at Brass and then back to Langston.

Eyes turned to Greg. "Don't look at me. She doesn't confide in me much anymore."

Brass and Langston stared at one another.

"You're not denying it…then I'd say my hunch was correct," grinned Brass.

"You'd have to ask Sara or Gil."

Langston picked up a sandwich and took a bite.

"You think that's why Grissom has been so…quiet?" asked Greg.

"Maybe he's concerned about the pregnancy," answered Nick.

"Gil is suffering from post traumatic stress," stated Langston.

Eyes turned to Langston.

"I'm not his doctor…there is no doctor-patient privilege."

"You really think…Gil suffers from PTS?" asked Catherine.

"I know he's having difficulty sleeping, he's lost a considerable amount of weight, he gets anxious at the thought of leaving Sara…afraid he'll come home and she'll be gone. Then there was the way he reacted when he escorted the husband to identify the wife's body, his panic attack which caused the wreck…and then the shooting," stated Langston.

Nick hung his head.

"Doc and I have been discussing Grissom's condition. He suspected it as much as I did," stated Langston.

"He came back to work," reasoned Greg.

"He came back to work at Sara's request," clarified Langston.

"Does Sara know?" asked Nick.

"She knows something is wrong with him. She asked me if there was something wrong with the lab," stated Catherine. "I guess she thought he was worried about us."

"I can't believe…Griss has dealt with death way longer than any of us," griped Nick.

"He's never loved anyone except Sara," reasoned Brass.

"I'm not sure he'll ever forgive himself for letting Heather into his life," stated Langston. "Guilt is a powerful thing."

"I never thought Grissom would be the type to…cheat," whispered Nick. "I still find it hard to believe…but he did it."

"Did he?" questioned Langston.

Nick frowned. "He admitted it…to Sara."

"He admitted to being in bed with Heather…waking to…a sexual act being performed on him by someone he thought was Sara and the moment he realized it wasn't, he went so far as to flee the bed, the house, even the country."

Brass finished off his coffee. "I wouldn't be surprised if Heather didn't drug him."

"I guess we'll never know," said Catherine.

"Is it any of our business?" asked Langston. "Sara seems to be putting the incident behind her…shouldn't we do the same?"

"I've apologized for being so hard on him," admitted Nick.

"You weren't the only one," stated Langston. "Sara was hard as well."

"She has the right to be," sneered Greg.

"No one wants to voice the obvious. It was Sara's leaving that caused…" Nick interrupted Langston.

"Whoa right there. Heather was behind the Natalie thing. If Griss hadn't gotten involved then…"

"You're right, Heather was behind it…all of it," replied Langston.

"Still…" Nick stopped, too tired to argue over it. "I get your point. It was Heather…not Grissom. Listen, we've apologized…what more can we do?"

"Assure Grissom, you're okay…and that he can leave the lab," replied Langston.

"He doesn't want to be here, does he?" asked Greg.

"No, Greg. He wants to do something else but he's concerned about…all of you…despite how hard it is for him to be here anymore."

"He doesn't have to worry about us," declared Nick.

"Good. Tell him," stated Langston.

There were a few stops made on their way home.

They picked up the basics for Eli until they could take a more extensive shopping trip.

The first night was difficult as Eli cried for his mother a few times but between the two they were able to soothe the young toddler.

"Do you think he'll remember her?" asked Grissom.

"Maybe. Greg went back and took as many family photos that he could find. We'll give them to him when he's ready."

She smiled when Eli finally went to sleep. "I look at him and I see Warrick," she whispered.

"Me too," Grissom admitted.

They slept with the young toddler between them.

The next day Catherine visited for a few hours giving them a break so they could do some shopping.

The guys later came to remove the furniture from the guest room downstairs so that they could put Eli's room together.

"This is great," grinned Nick. "Eli is going to love this room…that is if Greg will get out and let the boy play…with the toddler toys."

Greg made a face but joined them in the hallway.

Sara glanced into the study.

"You need us to do anything else?' asked Nick.

"I'd like to convert the study into a nursery," she stated.

"So…then Brass was right. You are pregnant?" asked Nick.

"We were going to announce it this weekend when we had everyone over….but yes," smiled Sara.

Nick hugged her. "Congratulations!"

He quickly shook Grissom's hand and then gave him a hug.

Grissom smiled. "Thank you…for helping us."

"Anytime bossman," announced Nick.

Grissom paled.

"Is something wrong?" asked Greg.

"I…uhm…I'll get us some drinks," offered Grissom as he took off to the kitchen.

Sara grabbed Nick by the arm.

"Nicky, he doesn't want to come back to the lab," whispered Sara.

"We know," smiled Nick.

"You do?"

"Yeah, sure. Catherine hired this new guy…seemed okay and there's this new guy that's going to be working in the field…already trained."

"Really?" she asked.

Greg nudged her. "Hodges…thinks that since I did it, he can also."

"Hodges is going to be working in the field?" asked Sara incredulously.

"Yes…Catherine is rather relieved she is going to be taking Ecklie's job."

"So…did you apply for the supervisor job?" asked Sara to Nick.

"Those are some big shoes to fill…even Catherine had difficulty but…I'd like to give it a shot," he admitted.

The aroma of coffee urged them into the kitchen.

Sara glanced briefly into their bedroom, ensuring Eli remained asleep.

Grissom handed each a cup of coffee.

"It's not as good as yours, Greg, but then it's better than the lab's," announced Grissom.

"So Griss any leads on a teaching position?" asked Greg.

Grissom glanced at Sara.

"I'm sorry to announce but you've already been replaced," smiled Sara.

"I have?" he asked setting his cup down.

Nick shared his news about Hodges.

Grissom grinned. "I'm glad Hodges took me up on my suggestion."

"You…encouraged Hodges to work in the field?" asked Greg.

"Yes, I did," admitted Grissom.

Sara chuckled. "You just didn't want to run into him every day if you took Ecklie's job."

"I thought he would be good."

"Really?" asked Nick.

"Yes, Nicky. He'll be good for your team. You won't have to worry about training him and you already know his quirks…less supervisory headache."

Nick was quiet.

"I recommended you for the supervisor position," stated Grissom. "I was hoping to tell you after I let everyone know that I'm not coming back."

"We know…there's not much you can keep hidden from family," smiled Nick.

Grissom grinned as he took a drink.

"You'll always be boss man," declared Nick.

Note from author:

I think when this story is finished, we need to have a memorial service for my computer…I hope it gets me through these last few chapters…LOL.

Take care


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty Nine:**

She rolled over and smiled when she felt Grissom beside her.

"How long did it take for you to get him to sleep?" she asked as she caressed his cheek.

"About an hour. He kept handing me a book to read," yawned Grissom.

"I think he loves to hear your voice. It's very soothing," she said as her hand glided down the side of his face.

He grinned as he inched closer. "He called you Momma."

"I know," she smiled. "He just blurted it out without thinking so I didn't correct him."

"He's a very smart little boy."

"Warrick would be so proud of him," smiled Sara.

"I love you, Sara."

She kissed him, grinning that his hands were already slipping underneath her gown.

"Gil, it's late," she whispered.

He yawned. "Yes, dear," he replied as he molded his body next to hers.

"I'm glad no one contested the custody," she said softly.

"Now…we just need to decide…about the adoption."

"But we are going to adopt him…we agreed," she protested.

He kissed her. "Yes, we did…but I'm not sure about changing his name. "Brown" is a good name."

"Warrick loved you very much," she said as she kissed the palm of his hand.

"I thought we agreed to sleep," he teased.

"For awhile," she smiled.

It was early hours of the morning when she felt him stirring.

She rolled over, letting her fingers sift through the hairs on his chest.

Gently she leaned over and kissed his chest causing a slight moan to erupt from his lips.

She grinned at his reaction when her hand slipped down and took hold of his shaft.

She glanced up trying to see if he was awakened but he remained asleep, his breathing still regular and slow.

Slowly she stroked him, entranced at the way his body responded to her touches.

She knew it would be just a matter of minutes before he was awakened by her ministrations.

She licked her lips at the size of him.

Quietly she straddled his midsection encompassing his shaft with her folds.

She groaned from the delicious fullness.

She leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips just as she began to rock back and forth.

His hands grabbed her hips pulling her upward only to press her down more forcefully onto his shaft.

She hissed at the enormity of him as she attempted to adjust to his size.

Suddenly his eyes shot open and she found herself being shoved to the side as he scrambled from the bed.

He stood there panting as he tried to catch his breath.

"Gil?"

"Sara? Sara! I'm sorry. I…didn't…I thought I was dreaming…and then I woke…I didn't realize it…was you."

It was as if he'd thrown a bucket of ice water into Sara's face.

She grabbed her gown as she scrambled to her feet, tossing the gown over her head.

"Sara…Wait!"

"Don't! Just…leave me alone!"

"Listen to me!" he pleaded as he grabbed her by the arms.

"You thought it was Heather, didn't you? You swore it was only once and…"

"Yes, it was once!"

"Let go of me," she said calmly.

"Will you let me explain?" he begged.

"That you were having a dream of….her…that you were fucking her?"

"It happened like that!" he yelled. "I passed out from exhaustion. I woke and she was…on top of me. The moment I realized…what she was doing…what we were doing, I shoved her off, grabbed my clothes and left. Later….she…she made it sound as if…she was trying to comfort me. She told me that if you still wanted me you would have contacted me. I just wanted…needed to see you. I needed to see for myself so I resigned. I booked a flight to Costa Rica."

He slumped down on the bed.

"She convinced you to file the divorce papers?"

"Said it would be easier on you if I delivered them. You could sign them and be free….of me."

He gulped. "I couldn't do it. Even when I thought you were with Darren…I couldn't do it."

She stood there with her arms folded.

"Sara, I'm sorry. I…just reacted…I'm sorry," he repeated.

She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied.

His fists hit the mattress. "I just want her out of our lives!"

His anguish was genuine.

Sara extended her hand and he pulled her toward him.

"I wish it never happened," he cried. "I…"

She covered his mouth with hers.

He desperately returned the kiss.

She pulled back just as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Gil, she took advantage of you," she whispered.

"I never should have been there in the first place," he grieved.

"I never should have left," she countered. "It was wrong."

He shook his head but she stopped him. "I have blame in this also."

His head rested against her breast as she stroked his back.

"Next time…I'll make sure you're awake," she said softly.

"Sara…"

"Lie back," she whispered.

He was hesitant but he obeyed, allowing her to straddle him.

"Gil, look at me" she instructed.

Deep blue eyes stared up at her.

Sara leaned down and began to make love to her husband.

Her hand slipped into his as she rocked back and forth, each on the verge of release.

"Come for me, Gil," she urged.

A burst of colors exploded as he emptied himself inside her as she followed.

She slipped down to lie beside him.

"No more guilt…for either of us," she said.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you."

Later she woke to the feel of his body spooned to hers.

His hand caressed the round bulge. "So another doctor appointment?"

"It doesn't want to cooperate," she sighed, slipping to her back in frustration.

"I sort of like not knowing," he grinned.

"I don't! I need to get the nursery done, there's things to buy….it needs to cooperate."

Grissom leaned over and kissed the small bulge. "Listen to your mother," he whispered.

"How do you think Eli is going to react to a baby?"

"Sara, he was so starved for attention that I don't think he's going to mind as long as we spend time with him."

"Catherine offered to stay a few days after the baby's birth…to help out."

"And you said yes?"

"I was considering the offer."

"You think I can't manage?" he asked.

"I think…it wouldn't hurt to accept help when it might be needed," she replied.

He kissed her fully on the lips. "I agree…even if it does mean having Catherine here for awhile."

"I love you," she whispered.

His hands cupped her face as he kissed her tenderly.

"You make me very happy," he said as he gently eased himself into her.

He waited letting her body adjust to the intrusion and then began with slow forceful strokes that quickly brought her to climax.

His lips lingered on hers as he remained inside her.

They both grinned when there was a slight movement between them.

"I think we woke her," smiled Grissom.

"You're so sure it's a girl," she pouted.

He kissed her once more before withdrawing from her.

"I hope that it's a girl…but then I don't care Sara. I'm just so thankful that you…that you didn't fall and…"

She hushed him with a kiss. "You didn't let me fall."

He hugged her tight to him. "You protected…our child…refused to fight while she thought about no one except herself. I was so afraid for you Sara."

"Given another time…I would have liked to shove my…" she stopped not finishing the sentence.

"I've always been good at gambling. My money would have been on you," he teased.

She rolled over on top of him. "I would have kicked her ass."

His eyes twinkled at the thought.

"I remember how you kicked that dummy mercilessly," he said.

She grinned. "I think we have another hour before you need to check on the experiments."

He glanced at the clock. "It would appear so," he said as he purposely flipped her over so that he was on top.

"I'm glad you took the grant…it's nice having you at home with us," she breathed.

"You like…what we do….when Eli takes a nap," he whispered with a boyish grin.

"We'll just have to make sure the baby is on the same schedule," she teased.

They turned when they felt something next to them.

"Hey Leo," smiled Sara.

Sara petted the cat.

"I guess Eli is stirring. Leo doesn't leave him unless he's trying to wake," stated Sara.

"Momma?" came a soft voice.

Sara smiled as she scrambled out of the bed with Grissom on her heals.

"Good morning, Eli," announced Sara.

He extended his hands and Grissom picked him up.

"Good morning, Eli," said Grissom softly.

"Book," he stated.

Sara chuckled. "You can read to both of us while I cook breakfast."

"Book?" asked Grissom.

"Book, dada," said Eli as he reached for a book in the book shelf.

Both froze.

"Eli who is this?" asked Sara as he pointed to Grissom.

"Dada…bug…man."

Grissom chuckled out loud as he kissed the young toddler but then halted when he felt the baby's head once more.

"What's wrong?" asked Sara.

"He feels warm," stated Grissom.

She reached for the toddler but Grissom refused to relinquish him.

"He may be coming down with something. Sara, you need to be careful."

"I'll call Doc…or Langston."

An hour passed and Doc arrived. "Langston is working a case so I came."

"He's been a little fussy," explained Sara.

"Still running a temperature?" asked Doc.

"Yes, Grissom has been with him. He doesn't want me to hold Eli in case he's coming down with something."

"Well, let me take a look," smiled Doc.

Doc stepped into Eli's room and smiled when he saw Grissom rocking the toddler.

"You've become an old pro over night," smiled Doc.

Grissom smiled slightly but then glanced down at Eli. "He still has a temp."

Sara stepped closer but halted when Grissom shook his head.

"Momma," cried Eli.

She immediately went to the child and took him into her arms.

"It's okay, Gil. It's probably viral anyway. Besides, how can you refuse such a request as that," stated Doc.

Grissom patted Eli's back.

"This is the first time he's gotten sick," worried Grissom.

"Children get sick," cautioned Doc. "Just wait until you have two germ magnets running around."

Sara frowned as she swayed back and forth with Eli in her arms.

Grissom offered her the rocker and she took it.

They waited patiently while Doc examined Eli.

"It appears to be viral," announced Doc.

"Are you sure?" worried Sara.

"Just keep him hydrated. Let is run its course," stated Doc as he held Eli's small hand.

"He has Warrick's eyes," stated Doc.

Doc sniffled and then smiled at the toddler as he curled into Sara's arms.

"I think he's ready for a nap," stated Doc.

"Me too," smiled Grissom.

Sara frowned.

"I understand you're going to do one last ultrasound," remarked Doc.

"Yes," replied Sara.

"I think it's a girl," he said.

"Really?" asked Grissom.

"I don't care….I just need to know so I can plan," huffed Sara.

Eli reached for Grissom. "Book, Dada."

"I'll walk Doc out," smiled Sara.

"Let me tell you a story about a Velveteen rabbit," whispered Grissom.

Eli yawned.

"Keep an eye on his temperature and continue to give him plenty of liquids. If the medicine doesn't keep the fever go down then…"

"Possible dehydration. I'll watch him," replied Sara.

"If you need me, just call. Oh and Sara? Get used to this. Kids are germy creatures."

She frowned.

"Just kidding. I know how much you hate germs."

"Thanks doc."

Hours passed as they took turns sitting with Eli.

"The fever is persistent," stated Sara as she teetered on her feet.

"Sara!"

"I just got a little off balance."

"You're making yourself sick," he grieved.

His hand guided her to their bedroom.

"Lie down. Sara, you're exhausted," ordered Grissom.

Eli whimpered. "Momma."

Sara glanced at Grissom. "Let him lay beside me," she urged.

Grissom placed the child beside Sara.

His hand caressed her cheek and then swiped across her forehead.

"I'm not getting sick," she whispered.

"Just sleep," he urged.

"Wake me if you need me," she said as she closed her eyes.

Grissom lay on the other side as he pulled the covers up over them.

He was startled when he felt a slight nudge.

"Sara?"

"No…it's me, Grissom," whispered Warrick.

Grissom struggled to his feet. "Warrick?"

"Yes. I've come for…Sara."

Grissom paled.

Note from author:

One last chapter…and then it is the end of the story.

Take care!


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty:**

"Sara? No, you can't take her!" cried Grissom.

Warrick patted the man on the back. "I'm sorry. You misunderstood. I didn't come to take Sara. I came here for Sara."

"Why?"

Warrick smiled at the sleeping child.

"I always knew Sara would be a good mother…just as you're a good father," stated Warrick. "I…know Eli will become a fine man."

"He's sick."

"It's just a viral infection. He'll been fine in a few days."

"Then…why…"

Sara stirred.

"Sara is so afraid of losing him…like she lost David. She's overdoing it."

"I know. Warrick, is she…is the baby going to be alright?"

"She's going to be just fine," he said with a smile. "But she…needs to slow down. Stop worrying so much."

"She's so protective of Eli…afraid something is going to happen to him."

"Yeah, well, she needs to talk with Greg. He can tell you what it was like to have an overprotective mother."

Grissom chuckled.

"So…it's a girl?" grinned Grissom.

"Yes. Tell Sara she can decorate the nursery…for a girl."

Grissom smiled.

"This is the last time I get to come. I know Eli is going to be fine now that you and Sara are fine."

"Warrick…we're going to adopt Eli."

"That's great," smiled Warrick.

"I was thinking about keeping Eli's name…as Brown."

"I would prefer that he used your last name," stated Warrick.

"Why?"

"He'll belong to a family who share the same last name. Besides, it will give a few brownie points to have the last name of the well known entomologist, Gil Grissom."

Grissom grinned. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Sara is saving photos as well as collecting stories from the team about you. Your son will know you, Warrick. I promise."

Grissom rubbed Eli's back when he stirred.

"Remember to have a talk with Sara."

"I will."

"Specifically tell her to 'let up'. She'll understand."

Warrick started for the door but stopped. "Hey Gil?"

"Yes?"

"It's a good thing you have a house with five bedrooms. You're going to need them."

Grissom frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Warrick chuckled. "You don't want me to tell you everything. It will spoil the fun."

"Yes, I do! Warrick!"

Warrick chuckled as he waved goodbye.

Grissom hurried to the doorway, hoping to get a glimpse of Warrick but he was gone.

"Gil?"

Grissom turned and smiled at Sara. "Go back to sleep."

Sara checked Eli's temperature.

"He feels cooler," she sighed.

"It's just viral."

"I thought I heard your voice. Were you talking on the phone?" she asked.

"No…Sara, I want Eli's last name to be changed…to ours."

She smiled. "Okay."

"Also…you need to let up."

She frowned. "Let up?"

"Yes."

She glanced down at the sleeping child.

"You think I'm being too overprotective?"

"Yes…we do."

"We?"

Grissom smiled. "He said you would understand."

Her eyes widened. "Warrick told you to tell me that."

"Yes, he did."

Sara sat up immediately.

"Okay…I will."

Grissom sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I take it that was some kind of code between the two of you?"

Sara grinned. "Sometimes Nick and Warrick would harass Greg, so I would tell them to let up. When Greg went into the field, it made me a little nervous. Inside the lab he was safe…but out in the field he could get hurt. Warrick would tease me by telling me to let up…stop being an overprotective parent."

"You did become a bit overprotective after Greg was beaten."

"And you didn't?"

He grinned.

"He also said that it's a good thing we have a house with five bedrooms."

"Does that mean the team is going to be staying over a lot?"

"You have to admit. We have a good supply of babysitters when we need them."

"Yes, we do," she grinned as she caressed her abdomen.

"Is everything okay?"

"She has the hiccups," replied Sara.

"So you think it's a girl too?" he asked.

"It's better than referring to her as an 'it.'"

"We need to get started on the nursery."

"But…we don't know…."

He hushed her with a kiss.

"I have some inside information….that's it's a girl."

"Warrick told you?"

"Yes."

"Are you okay with that?" she asked.

"We'll have a son and a daughter," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

A few months later, they brought their daughter, Elizabeth, home.

Eli marveled at the baby, bringing toys to her along with a book, The Velveteen Rabbit.

"She looks so much like you," whispered Grissom as he watched his daughter sleeping.

Sara sat nearby rocking Eli to sleep.

"He's so in love with her," gushed Sara.

"He's going to be a wonderful brother to her," smiled Grissom.

Catherine appeared in the doorway.

"Okay, I have first shift," she announced. "Sara, you better get some sleep while you can."

Catherine took the sleeping toddler from Sara.

"I'll get this little fella to bed."

Grissom helped his wife to her feet.

"How are you feeling?"

"I can't stand the stitches…but I'm good. I still can't believe she's finally here," stated Sara as she reached over and caressed her daughter's cheek.

Grissom pulled her into his arms. "We should have done this years ago," he said gruffly.

She grinned as she slowly pulled her husband away from the crib.

"Come to bed," she whispered.

"I can't…stop looking at her," he admitted.

"She's angelic when she's sleeping but you'll see her other side when she wakes for a feeding," teased Sara.

Grissom spooned his body up next to Sara's.

"Already she has you wrapped around her finger," stated Sara.

"Yes…she does…and I never want it to end," he confided.

Sara groaned when she heard a crash upstairs.

"I'm not sure I want to know what that was," stated Sara.

Brass chuckled. "No doubt it's another broken lamp. You know, you told them they couldn't play football in the house."

"Yes…but it's raining," defended Grissom.

"Gil…you have two grown men and a toddler playing football upstairs," whined Sara.

"Sara, Eli loves to play with Nick and Greg," replied Grissom.

There was another crash.

Sara tried to get up but Langston stopped her.

"Sara, you can't go up the stairs," warned Langston.

"I wasn't. I was going to go to the kitchen for a snack before dinner."

Catherine and Grissom exchanged looks.

Sara caught the exchange.

"Look, my doctor said I could walk…around."

Brass chuckled. "Sara, you haven't walked in months…you waddle."

Sara swiped at him and he ducked.

"Sorry honey, but it's true," admitted Grissom.

"You try carrying twins and see how you walk," she huffed.

"Sara? Sara, I didn't mean to upset you," soothed Grissom as he caught up with her in the hallway.

He grinned when she turned, her stomach colliding with his.

"You're very beautiful," he said softly.

"I'm large…and I can't see my feet. I'm always hungry and…I spend most of my time in the bathroom these days," she groaned.

"You're carrying twins," he answered as he reached out and caressed her abdomen.

"I'll just be glad when I can see my feet again."

"I've enjoyed this…every moment of it," assured Grissom.

"You're not waddling," she huffed as she headed toward the kitchen but then halted.

She grabbed his hands immediately.

"Why is the floor wet?"

Grissom stepped back and looked.

He glanced up. "Sara, I think you're water broke."

"Does this mean I don't get my snack?"

"This is a joke," muttered Sara.

"Sara, take the test."

"Gil, I can't be pregnant."

"Yes, you can."

"We've been careful."

"Explain your symptoms."

She moaned.

Bruno ran through the house as the twins chased after him.

"Eli, will you read me another story?" asked Lizzy.

"We'll read it together," he offered.

An hour later, Sara remained curled on her bed.

"Have you taken it?" Grissom asked from the doorway as he held one of the twins.

Sara nodded.

Grissom kissed Matthew as he whispered into the young boy's ear.

Grissom set him down and he ran into the other room to play with his brother.

"Sara?"

"I'm pregnant…again."

Grissom sat down on the bed.

"You don't seem happy about it," he said.

"I hate morning sickness," she groaned.

He smiled slightly. "It will pass…unless it's like…"

He didn't want to remind her how sick she was with the twins.

"Have you called for an appointment?"

"Yes."

He leaned down and kissed her.

"Five children," she said softly.

He grinned.

"You look rather smug," she miffed.

"I get another chance…for a girl…like Lizzie," he replied.

"What if it's another boy?"

"Then I won't have to worry about Lizzie. Her brothers will protect her."

Sara smiled.

Grissom curled up next to Sara.

"I was thinking…Jim is considering retiring. He's inquired about…the Toliver property."

"The bank finally cleared it in probate court."

"He would make a good neighbor."

"You just want some help with the boys."

"That too," smiled Grissom sheepishly.

"Gil, are we crazy?"

"I don't understand," he said as he caressed her cheek.

"Eli is seven, Lizzie is four and the twins are going to turn three next month. The baby….will be here in seven months."

"I don't understand why you think we're crazy?"

"You were looking forward to getting your study back."

"I'll take another child over a study any day," he beamed.

"How are we going to…"

He interrupted her with a kiss. "Eli has wanted to move upstairs for the past year….and you know that wherever Eli goes, Lizzie will want to go as well. The twins will be next to us and the nursery will get to remain a nursery for a few more years. I can wait to have my study back."

"You think they will be okay…up there alone?"

"They will Bruno as well as Leo. Not to mention at least one of the guys or Catherine and Lindsey on the weekends."

"Jim is coming this weekend. He wants to go fishing in the creek."

Grissom frowned. "Sara, there are no fish in the creek."

She grinned. "He knows that. He just wants to come and sleep in the hammock out back."

"Sleep around here?"

"Okay so he likes being around Lizzie and the boys."

Grissom smiled. "Catherine and Detective Vartann are getting serious. She asked to bring him to dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh that," she said softly.

"Oh that?"

"Catherine hasn't been serious for…years."

"She was serious about Warrick."

Grissom's jaw dropped.

"Catherin and Warrick…were together?"

"Catherine never let anything happen…she's regretted it."

He eyed her. "I don't understand your reaction to this Vartann fellow."

"That is old news," she said pursing her lips.

"So…you've known about him for some time?"

"Yes. Just like I know Greg is dating one of the techs on first shift while Nick has met this new girl who works on the bomb squad."

Grissom looked shocked. "Bomb squad?"

"They confide in me."

He frowned but then grinned. "Well, I know something that you don't."

"Really?" she challenged.

"Brass has been coming so he can visit with Mary. It seems the two of them are getting serious."

Sara looked excited. "Really?"

"Mary confides in me," he teased.

Sara elbowed him.

"That could be considered spousal abuse."

She chuckled.

Grissom pulled his wife into his arms. "Just think Sara how much we've accomplished in just a few years. We have a house full of kids."

There was a crash in the other room.

"If we turn out the lights, maybe they will think we've gone to sleep."

Grissom covered them up as small hands tapped on the covers.

"Mommy and Daddy are sleeping."

There were a few giggles as small bodies descended upon the bed.

In a matter of moments Grissom and Sara were surrounded by their four children.

"At least we can still fit in the bed," commented Grissom.

Leo jumped onto the bed.

"It's just Leo," giggled Sara as they felt the cat trying to get under the covers.

Bruno ran into the room and leaped onto the bed.

"Bruno!" whined Grissom.

"It's okay," soothed Sara.

Grissom tickled Lizzie and she giggled.

He then attacked the twins who burst into laughter.

Eli was next.

The bed finally stilled.

"This is nice," smiled Sara. "We're together in one bed."

"The family that sleeps together…"

The bed fell to the floor with a thud.

"Honey, I think we need a new bed," he announced.

Note from author:

Thanks for reading. Thanks to all of you who are always nice and leave a review for each chapter. It's nice to have loyal readers. Have a wonderful fall and take care!


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